Heero wandered downstairs on morning. No particular morning- just a morning. He yawned as he entered the kitchen
"Aaaaaahhhhh!" he yelled as he slipped on some kind of liquid on the floor. He quickly grabbed onto the table for support. Unfortunately, all he got was a handful of tablecloth and seconds later, everything that had been on the table came crashing onto the tiled surface, including Relena's crystal vase. His head hit the floor and he got knocked out cold.
He woke up, still on the kitchen floor, in a pool of milk.
"My pyjamas are drenched!" he sat up and began to squeeze dry his shirt. "Why is all this milk here anyway? I would've thought that the minute it spilt, Quatre would have already mopped it up!"
"Hee hee hee"
Heero heard a giggle above him. He slowly picked himself up to see who was there. He carefully drew the gun, which he somehow managed to keep hidden in his shirt pocket…
"Ha!" he whipped out his gun and pointed it around. Strange- no one. Suddenly he was tackled down by someone or something. He swung around to face…
"What the…?!?!?!?!" he gasped. There at his feet, was a mischievously grinning 5- year old.
"Wait a minute…" he stared into her wide, innocent blue eyes and suddenly started backing away. "Oh my…!" he yelled, slowly backing towards the door. She started crying in a high pitched wail.
"Big boy scary!!!!" she wailed.
"No! I'm not scary!" Heero tried hurriedly to calm her down. Suddenly he bumped into something else in the doorway.
"Bad big boy! You made Relena cry!"
Heero turned around to face a Chinese toddler with a short ponytail, glaring at him.
"It's okay," the Chinese boy ran over to the girl to comfort, "that big boy is mean and bad!"
"Thank you, Wufei," the girl sniffed
"Wufei?" Heero asked weakly before fainting again
"Big boy bouncy! Big boy bouncy!"
Heero woke up, drenched once again in the same puddle of milk. He became aware of someone jumping on his stomach.
"Get off!" he growled, sitting up.
"Uh oh! Big boy mad!"
"Lil bugger! Come back here!" Heero caught the culprit by his collar. "What is your name?"
"My name?" the little boy asked. Then Heero noticed he had a rather long plait.
"Wait- don't tell me! Your name is Duo right?"
"Big boy smart!" Duo giggled
"What the…" Heero looked around to see a small blonde boy, trying to use the tablecloth to wipe up the milk, Wufei was still comforting Relena and a small boy with huge brown bangs, was leaning against a chair.
"Say what?!?!" Heero yelled
"Hello," the small blonde boy stopped his futile wiping and extended a small chubby hand, "I am Quatre Raberba Winner"
Heero awkwardly shook his hand, feeling rather faint.
"That is Chang Wufei over there, comforting Relena Peacecraft because you scared her. That is not a nice thing to do mister!" baby Quatre told him.
"Duo, where are you going?" Heero asked, hooking him by his collar again. He stood up and everyone crowded around him. They only went up to his knees, dammit. What pitiful reminders of what his friends once were. He felt cold and suddenly remembered that he had been drenched in milk twice.
"I'll…I'll be back," Heero said, "just wait here and don't touch anything!"
He ran upstairs to change. He looked at himself in the mirror carefully. Was he hallucinating? Last time he checked he was sane. Then he pinched himself.
"Shit!" he hopped around for a few minutes, swearing all sorts of profanities, in an effort to shake the pain off. "Well, I'm not dreaming…" he shook his head and dressed up. He came downstairs to find only four babies in the kitchen.
"Where the hell is Duo?" Heero yelled
"He was hungry, so he went outside to eat," Relena pointed to the open kitchen window and the wooden chair right beneath it.
"Outside? Oh no!" Heero rushed outside to find a very dirt-faced Duo sitting next to a hole, his hands covered with dirt and he was slurping up…
"Worms! Duo Maxwell!" Heero lifted Duo up and away from the hole and brought him inside. Heero plonked him in the kitchen sink and began to scrub him from head to foot. After they were done, Heero had bruises all over his arms. Duo, it seemed, did not like to take baths and kicked a lot when he was forced to take one.
"Okay everyone, nap time!" Heero told them hoping for at least 5 minutes of peace.
"No! Hi- 5 is on!" Duo yelled
Duo yelled again. "I wanna watch Hi- 5!"
"Yeah!" they were all clamoring around him.
"Ok, fine!" Heero yelled finally. "You can watch your bloody Hi- 5! Just stop annoying me!"
He stalked out into the living room in a huff. They looked at each other and shrugged, following him.
Heero lay on the couch as Hi- 5 came on. In front of him, on the carpet were the five babies all lined up in a row, listening and singing to the people on screen. They, in Heero's opinion, could not sing for shit (sorry all you people out there who like Hi- 5). He sat there and watched as the blonde guy who called himself Nathan, pretended to drive an obviously fake cardboard boat. He snorted. How gullible did they think these kids were?
"Wow, I want a boat just like that!" Wufei whispered
"Look at the pretty, pretty mermaid!" Relena giggled at one of the female band members who was dressed up in a fake sequin outfit
.
"Finally! It's over!" Heero sighed, switching off the TV. "Now will you go take a nap?"
He had the Hi- 5 theme song playing over and over in his head and he was very annoyed to say the least. Five in the air, let's do it together…
"Mr. Heero- I'm thirsty!" Relena whined
"Then go get your own milk!" Heero growled
"But I can't!"
"Why not?"
"Cos then I'll spill the milk again," Relena giggled
"Okay fine!" Heero sighed. "I'll get you your damn milk"
He opened the fridge and poured her a cup of milk.
"No, no, no, no!" Relena screamed. "It's sposed to be in a bottle and its sposed to be warm!"
"Grrrr…" Heero growled as he went back into the kitchen to change the milk
"There," Heero finally figured out how to screw and unscrew the lids of baby bottles, having never done it before. He was carrying the milk outside to Relena when he heard a giggle followed by,
"Uh oh- Doo doo did a boo boo!"
He rushed out into the kitchen to see a grinning but embarrassed Duo standing over a wet patch on the carpet, his pants stained.
"Aargh!" Heero yelled in frustration. "Duo!"
He slung Duo over his shoulder, like a potato sack and carried him upstairs to change his clothes. They came down 5 minutes later, Duo wearing a florescent pink t-shirt and loving it.
"Look at my new t-shirt!" Duo squealed.
"That's very nice Duo," Heero said between clenched teeth, "now sit down while I call the carpet cleaners!"
Duo meekly obeyed his orders because Heero looked so formidable.
"Okay, we're going to have to clear out of here because the carpet cleaners do not need disturbances!" Heero told them after hanging up the phone. "Which means that I have to take you out!" he grumbled at the thought.
"Yay!" they all cheered.
10 minutes later as they left the house, Duo went suddenly hyperactive.
"Vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm," he ran around in circles, arms extended, pretending to be an aeroplane.
"Hey, get back here you!" Heero caught Duo's braid as he began to run away. "I think I better chain you to me!" he produced a pair of handcuffs and cuffed him and baby Duo together.
"Look!" Duo lifted his arm up proudly, "I got attested!"
"You got arrested you mean," Heero growled, "and you didn't get arrested, you're just chained to me cos you're a naughty little boy!"
"I am Duo Maxwell and I am…" he paused to count his age on his fingers, "…5 years old!" he proudly held up 5 stubby little fingers as the automatic glass doors of the shopping mall slid open for them to enter.
"I am 5 too," Relena told him
"Me too," Wufei added
"I am 5 years old," Quatre said
"What about him- Trowa?"
"He's bigger than the rest of us," Relena told him, "he's 6!"
"How old are you Mr. Heero?" Wufei asked
"16," he growled. He noticed he was getting a lot of stares from passers-by. He had five kids towing around with him, one chained to his wrist with handcuffs.
"Candy Store!" Relena yelled
"Candy Store!" the rest followed her charge, except of course for Duo, who tried but didn't really succeed. Heero made his way into the candy store. All of them came to the counter, their little arms full of lollies.
"No!" Heero yelled. "I can't pay for all that! You may get one lollipop each!"
"One?!" Relena exclaimed
"Injushtish," Wufei muttered
"One!"
"Okay, fine!"
They each chose their desired flavor for their lollipop.
"What do you want Trowa?" Heero asked, glaring at the miniature sized Gundam pilot. Trowa said nothing but somersaulted onto the counter and picked one out for himself.
"My, you have one little talented acrobat on your hands, sir," the shop keeper commented, trying to make pleasant conversation
"Whatever," Heero shrugged, "now, you've got your lollies- let's go!" he herded the kids out of the store after paying. Spotting a nearby bench, he quickly walked to it and sat down, Quatre, Trowa, Relena and Wufei following suit. Duo, being chained to Heero, had no real choice but to sit next to him and watched in awe as Heero miraculously conjured up his laptop from nowhere and began to type furiously. Getting r. J online, he started yelling without really thinking of how crazy he would look, sitting on a bench in the shopping mall, and shouting into a laptop
"Dr J! What the hell is happening?" he practically yelled at the image of Dr J on screen.
"Oh hello Heero, how are things?" Dr J asked as if everything was just fine and dandy.
"Dr. J," he said through clenched teeth, "my Saturday has been suddenly occupied with these five little…kids!" At this point, Duo stuck his head in.
"Hello old man!" he grinned, his bright orange lollipop sticking halfway out of his mouth.
"Hello Duo," Dr J smiled at Duo before Heero pushed his head out of the way.
"Old man," Heero growled, losing patience, "I want an explanation, now!"
"Okay, okay, "Dr J sighed, "well Heero, you see… I have been working on an invention of mine. It reverses the life cycle process, meaning it could probably raise the dead, I haven't really tried yet…"
"Get to the point," Heero growled impatiently
"All right, well the ray was originally aimed to a confined area i.e. my backyard, but I must've accidentally increased the frequency somehow in your direction and that's why you're probably landed with 5 chibi versions of your former comrades… and was Duo wearing a pink t-shirt?"
"Yes," Heero replied testily
"How interesting… it appears that I have managed to reverse their brain waves as well… truly fascinating…"
"Hey! Now is no time for scientific observations! How long am I stuck with them like this?"
"Until I can get an antidote prepared," Dr J replied simply
"And how long will that be?" Heero asked impatiently
"A good 3 months at least!" Dr J smiled pleasantly before ending the transmission.
"Dammit!" Heero slammed down the laptop screen so hard, he almost broke it off. He became aware of people around him giving him weird stares. Not really giving a damn, he stood up, dragging Duo along and started walking away. The other four looked at each other, shrugged and ran after him as fast as their tiny legs could carry them.
"Uncle Heero! Uncle Heero!" Duo pulled Heero's singlet with his small hand that was cuffed to Heero's, as they browsed in the hardware store later because Heero needed parts for his laptop.
"What is it Duo?" Heero asked roughly
"I dipped my finger into this stuff," Duo pointed to an open tube of Super- Glue, "and I put it up my nose to see what it smells like and now I can't get my finger out!" Duo complained, giving Heero a little demonstration.
Heero sighed. This was going to be a very long 3 months
A.N. Tell me if I should write more cos it's just one of those things I started when I was bored…
