A.N- For later reference in this chapter- I have mentioned a school named Waverley College. For everyone out there who doesn't understand, let me explain- I have a brother and my first ex who go to that school. Every day without fail, somewhere in the school there will be a fight that draws blood (and usually a lot of it) and a spitball will be hurled (usually at someone in the younger years or a teacher). In fact, I'll be willing to make a $50 bet with someone on that one… that Waverley boys cannot go a day without chucking a spit or drawing someone else's blood. In this school it is not safe to put your hands on the stair rail because you don't know what's on it- I'm serious! And you know the deal with and
Chapter 6-Who Feels Like Chicken Tonight?
Heero squeezed the mop dry in the bucket after an exhausting 30 minutes of drying the floor. Yes, the Perfect Soldier had been trained in every art except the art of house keeping. Quatre walked in wearing a shirt that read "HUG ME!" in huge red letters- Heero suspected it was a gift from Dorothy.
"Are you done yet?" Quatre asked him
"Yes your highness I am finished," Heero retorted sarcastically. Quatre stared at him but said nothing and continued to lick his lollipop from earlier that day. Heero threw the mop into the bucket violently, causing the bucket full of water to topple over and splash all over the kitchen floor again.
"Shit!" Heero swore in frustration.
Trowa looked around quickly, his small emerald eyes zooming from the right side to the left side, scanning the area for Duo. Good, no sign of him yet…he had to be extra careful to avoid him for the rest of the…
"Troooooooooowwwwwaaaaaaaaaa!"
Too late…
15 minutes later, Heero was getting a harder workout on his biceps than anything Dr. J could've given him.
"Mmm…" Quatre said as he sat at the dining table sipping his milkshake, watching Heero mop. "You missed a spot"
Heero's eyebrow twitched furiously in frustration as he walked over to the designated spot and wiped up the small puddle of water in a few rough motions.
"There," Heero told Quatre, leaning the mop against the wall, "I'm done! You happy?"
"The kitchen has to be clean and sterile because we have to prepare food in it!" Quatre squealed.
"Yes, I know," Heero said through clenched teeth. "Where are Duo and Trowa?"
Quatre shrugged as he thought of where he left Duo, moaning in pain at the top of the stairs. "I dunno."
They turned to the window as they saw two tiny figures dressed in dark blue and white run across the lawn, Duo chasing after Trowa, Trowa was (understandably) running in the opposite direction like hell.
"Come back here!" Duo squealed as he ran. "My heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooooo!"
"Ugh…" Heero shuddered at the reminder of that certain someone and the sudden flash of déjà vu…
The mopping finished, he, carefully this time, put the mop and bucket away and took out the wok to start cooking. He lined the wok with oil and started a fire to heat it up so that the chicken would simmer faster. This was all thanks to hearing Relena talk ceaselessly on her phone to her girlfriends about cooking recipes and the dilemmas they were in when their cooks took leave.
"Heero," Quatre said suddenly, startling Heero slightly and making his hand slip.
"FU- la la la la, la la la la…" he made a quick save from what he was about to say, as his hand made contact with the very hot side of the wok. Quatre stared at him.
"I didn't know you liked to sing Christmas carols while cooking," Quatre said simply get it? Christmas carols… *starts singing* Deck the halls with boughs of holly… fa la la la la, la la la la… *gets blank stares from readers* oh never mind… ^^
Heero stared at him but said nothing. Suddenly remembering that his hand had been seriously burnt, Heero rushed towards the sink and quickly switched on the cold water tap. Cold water started gushing out in torrents, spraying it everywhere. Some of it landed in the wok, which was coated with heated oil and if you are Asian and/or plain stupid like some people I know… lol… I'm looking at YOU Judy! =P you would know that when you put water in a wok coated with heated oil, it starts to spit worse than Waverley boys do on a particularly shitty day refer to A.N.. And that's exactly what the wok started doing. It spat oil all over the place.
"EEK!" Quatre squealed and ducked underneath the table as little bullets of oil sped his way.
"What?" Heero spun around as some burning hot oil landed on his cheek. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Without thinking, he put his cheek underneath the tap to cool that off too, having never been within at least 10 feet of a kitchen before. Soon a very wet, very pissed off Heero lifted his head from the tap. His hair was dripping again after blow-drying it the first time. Quatre peeked out from underneath the table to see if the oil spit fire had stopped yet and stifled a giggle as he saw Heero standing there with a very red hand and sopping wet hair.
"That is IT," Heero said through clenched teeth. "We are going out to eat!"
At this point in time, Trowa rushed in and quickly slammed the glass door right behind him. Duo, with the certain handicap of his new hairstyle, which he had not yet learned how to see around, couldn't quite see that there was glass there…BAM! Everyone turned around at the noise to see Duo's flattened face against the glass and his nose squashed through the little nose-guard which he (still) wore. Trowa ran like the devil was on his heels (which he probably was depending on how you define "devil" =P) to his room and Heero and Quatre could hear the lock click into place. Quatre slowly opened the door and Duo fell face flat onto the floor. He lay there for a few moments in silence before letting out a low moan. "Ow…"
He looked up at them and they could see that his hair had left a jagged red impression on his face. He blinked a few times. Then he slowly stood up.
"Where's Trowa?" he asked innocently. Heero and Quatre pointed silently upstairs. Duo immediately lit up and raced towards the stairs. Quatre noticed, with a bit of evil glee, that Duo was running with a slight limp. hmm, I wonder why… =P. A couple of seconds later, they could hear him thumping against the door calling Trowa's name.
"I thought that banging into the glass door might've knocked some sense back into him," Heero muttered sarcastically, "then again, what was I thinking… Duo doesn't have any sense to begin with…" he continued muttering and cursing quietly to himself in Japanese as he made his way upstairs to change (again). "Don't move!" he called out to Quatre. "Don't do ANYTHING! Don't' even TOUCH anything! Just stay there until I get back!"
Quatre merely nodded and sat on the nearest chair.
Heero clambered up the stairs, having the good sense this time to not stomp his foot down on every step. He passed Trowa's room on his way up. Duo had still not succeeded in gaining entry to Trowa's room. Heero snorted to himself. Duo was never really that good at infiltration.
Entering his private ensuite, Heero found his hairdryer and began the long and arduous task of blowing his hair dry. He opened his drawer and got a comb, combing it so that it looked "natural" and not like it had been through two thorough soakings of sprinkler water and tap water neither of which he hoped he would ever experience again. He spent at least 15 minutes perfecting the look that he was trying to achieve (who knew Heero really cared about his hair THAT much lol). Finally satisfied, he decided to wear black this time. At least if Duo decided to start a food fight or something (he wouldn't put it past him), it wouldn't show up that much on his shirt. He grabbed his jacket, just for good measure. After changing and making sure that he didn't mess up the hair "leave the hair alone!" as Ivan (first ex) used to say… don't ask me why I just added that, I don't know =P, Heero walked out of his room. Duo was still outside Trowa's door pounding on it like there was no tomorrow. Well, if Trowa didn't open the door soon, Duo would probably cave it in, Heero thought drily. He decided to spare Trowa the torture.
"Come here Duo!" Heero walked over to him and picked him up, slinging him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"No! Trowa!" Duo howled as Heero carried him off.
"I am going to change those clothes of yours and make you stop copying Trowa because two Trowas in this house is too many!"
"No! But I wanna be like Trowa!" Duo squealed. "I wanna be like Trowa!" he started throwing a tantrum.
"Shut up before I break that middle finger of yours!" Heero growled. Duo fell silent immediately.
"That's better," Heero told him, frustrated. He dumped Duo onto the bed and went in search of appropriate clothing. "Now do you want to wear that hot, dark blue top or this nice bright pink one?" he asked, sticking up that damn fluro t-shirt that gave him a headache just looking at it.
"Pink! Pink! Pink!" Duo squealed. Heero tossed the shirt in his face
"Well then get changed and meet me down there in T-5!"
Duo stared at him blankly. Heero sighed, exasperated
"5 minutes," he explained to him before stalking out of the room and slamming the door behind him.
"Gee, what's his problem…" Duo muttered as he began to change.
Trowa slowly climbed out from where he had taken refuge under his bed. Duo's banging had stopped for a whole 5 minutes. He slowly, cautiously opened his door just enough for him to see what was going on outside. Wow, no Duo… no Trowa wannabes… the hallway was clear! Seizing the rare opportunity, Trowa began to stealthily sneak out and make his way downstairs.
Meanwhile…
"Wufei, what do you want for dinner?" Sally called out as she finished locking up the surgery.
"Anything but your cooking," Wufei told her, "anything a woman cooks can't be good,"
Sally shrugged. "Whatever. How about we go for Chinese food?"
"Chinese food? HAH… the Chinese restaurants around here are full of cheap imitations! They don't know how to cook real Chinese food! I'll bet that the food there is cooked by a WOMAN! ALL WOMEN ARE WEAK!" he had raised his voice progressively louder during his outburst and it reached the level of a shout.
"Shh…Wufei! You can't just say these things out here! Women have equal rights you know!"
Wufei glared at her. Sally shook her head. He must've caught the glaring disease from Heero.
"Well then what about KFC?" she suggested
"Hmm… KFC…" Wufei mused to himself. "Well the 11 Herbs and Spices recipe WAS invented by a male… onna, you shall be honoured to take me to KFC for dinner!"
Sally raised her eyebrow. After this whole chibi thing wore off, she would have to have a word with Wufei…
"So, where do you want to go for dinner?" Heero asked while they were riding in the back of one of Quatre's many limos.
"What about some nice Indian delicacy?" Quatre suggested. Duo made a wet noise no, not THAT way all you sick-minded ppl out there (like me lol ^^) with his tongue.
"I wanna go KFC!" he declared
"Trowa, where do you want to eat?" Heero asked
"……"
"I still say Indian," Quatre said
"Hey Quatre," Duo said, with a sly tone in his voice, "did you know that KFC chicken has 11 herbs and spices? So in a way, you ARE eating Injun food!"
Quatre, being sorta gullible as he is, thought about it for a little while before saying, "Okay! KFC it is!"
The limo turned into the nearest KFC branch and they all got out.
"YAY!" Duo switched into over-excited mode again and started dashing around. Soon, they could only see a streak of fluro pink dashing backwards and forwards in the parking lot.
"Duo Maxwell! Get back here at once!" Heero barked yes I know Judy, you're probably thinking ruff, ruff! Duo, being surprisingly obedient, came to heel at once. Wow, Heero thought, I may actually be getting good at this parenting stuff… NO don't think about that… parenting?! He shook his head as he pushed the door open and let them all in. They ran up to the counter and stopped behind a woman who wore her hair in two braids with a young Chinese boy who had a short mullet.
"Hrmmph!" Duo turned away. "It's that stinky-poo Wufei!"
"It's that baka pig, Maxwell," Wufei returned.
"So much for niceties, huh?" Sally smiled.
"You look like a pig! Oink, oink.. pig! P-Y-G pig!" Wufei taunted Duo. Heero raised his eyebrow at Wufei's bad spelling but said nothing. Who knew what would happen to him if he interfered with a 5-year-old's quarrel. The Perfect Soldier had survived two wars only to be taken down by a couple of 5-year-olds… sure…
"What do you want to order? Tell me quick before I change my mind and make you all starve tonight," Heero growled
"Get a bucket and we'll all share!" Duo squealed
"I'm not sharing with THAT weakling!" Wufei declared haughtily.
"Oh drop the more-honourable-than-thou attitude," Sally told him, sick to death already of Wufei's rambling
"So it finally got to you too," Heero muttered to Sally as they began to place their orders. Sally rolled her eyes in Wufei's direction but said nothing.
"Hello," the service attendant Liza yes- Liza! Hahaha! greeted them, "what would you like?"
"Get us a 21-piece bucket with 2 large fries…" Sally began
"No! 3 large fries!" Duo jumped up and down and started yelling.
"3 large fries, then" Sally changed her order. "And what side dishes do you want?" she asked the chibis.
"I want mashed 'tatoes!" Duo squealed
"Give me coleslaw!" Wufei grunted
"Mashed potatoes," Trowa stated simply
"Mashed potatoes," Quatre told her
"So that's uhh… three mashed potatoes and one coleslaw on the side," Liza keyed in the order
"No wait!" Duo yelled. "I don't want 'tatoes anymore! I want coleslaw!"
"If that baka's having coleslaw, then I'm having the potatoes!" Wufei declared
"Maybe I should try the coleslaw too…" Quatre mused
"Wait!" Sally called out to her as she began to get the food. "Can I change that to two mashed potatoes and two coleslaws?"
"Sure thing," Liza said, trying to keep looking happy. This was a larger family than average- of course they would change their minds sometime… she bent down to get the coleslaw from the bottom shelf of the fridge…
"Oh no! If Trowa's having the 'tatoes but I'm having the coleslaw… I WANT MASHED 'TATOES!" Duo changed his mind yet again.
"And if that baka's having the potatoes, them I'm having coleslaw!" Wufei declared
"Oh dear… " Quatre mused, "maybe mashed potatoes would be better…"
"Hang on!" Sally called out to Liza again. "I'm really sorry but could I change that order one last time?"
"Of course ma'am," Liza said through clenched teeth. Dammit, all her Year 8 and Year 9 days of terrorizing the service people at KFC were catching up on her don't glare and pretend it's not gonna happen Liza, cos we both know that it is!
"All right- now it's one coleslaw and three mashed potatoes," Sally told her "and we're not going to change our minds again are we?" she spun around to face the chibis with such a frightening look on her face, they all cowered in fear.
Gee, Liza thought, and I haven't even asked them what drinks they want yet…
A.N- This chapter is dedicated to the hard workers at KFC who, somehow, manage to put up with us terrorizing them every day, and those damn 11 Herbs and Spices which never fail to make us extremely high and/or drunk ^______________________^
