Issue #5 – This Is the Bogeyman?
"So this is him?" Kid Flash asked, approaching the bars like a small child approaching the lion's cage at the circus. It was almost painful to move so slowly, but after everything he had heard, everything he had read…it was like approaching death itself.
"He's a lot smaller than I thought he'd be," Superboy said. "Whenever Superman or Robin talk about him, they make him sound so big. I guess because what he does is so much larger than life."
"Why thank you!" Joker said. "It's always nice to find fans." He took a step forward, but tripped over his own sandals. He stumbled for a moment, then he crashed into the bars with a loud clang. "Oh my, I must be big on vacations. That was my second trip today! Ha-ha!"
Superboy and Kid Flash both sighed and rolled their eyes. They turned their backs to the Clown Prince of Crime and started to walk away.
"Hey, come back!" he called. "Don't you wanna hear a joke? What do you call a bass vocalist who sings by himself? Eh? So-low, get it? Ha ha ha!"
"Nobody ever mentioned how obnoxious he is," Superboy muttered as they walked out of the room. The door closed behind him.
"Yeah. He's not really anything like the books or Robin made him out to be. Did you know there's eight books written just about the incident with the joker fish and almost ten on the time he poisoned Gotham's reservoir? And despite all the things he's done, all the times he's been captured, all the psychologists who have tried to analyze him—we know nothing about him, really. His motivations. His origin. His real name."
"You know, I bet Batman knows everything about him. I bet he knows it all."
"Really?"
"Really. How couldn't he? He's the Batman. They've been at each others throats for years. I bet he knows everything about that clown, but he keeps it locked up in his computer not telling anybody."
"Why would he do that?"
"Because he's Batman."
Kid Flash chuckled. He remembered an inside joke they had shared a few weeks before. "Why does he drink milk straight out of the carton?"
"Because he's Batman," Superboy snickered.
"And why does he never change the toilet paper roll?"
"Because he's the damn Batman, bitch!"
This was definitely one joke they never shared with Tim.
Tim was with the rest of the Titans in the lounge discussing the situation. Kid Flash and Superboy, overcome by curiosity and not having much input, just couldn't miss out on a chance to meet a real legend. After everything they had been through, there were few things which truly awed them, and they thought this would be one of them. But like kids who peek too early on Christmas, they were disappointed. It turned out the bogeyman really was just a clown after all.
In front of them, at the end of the hallway, the door opened. Robin stepped through, looking as glum as ever.
"Hey!" Kid Flash said.
Robin didn't say anything back. He just pushed past them.
"What did we decide about the Joker?"
Robin stopped. "Cyborg is on the line to Arkham. We're setting everything up, and we're going to transfer the prisoner as soon as possible."
"All right!" Superboy exclaimed. "Road trip!"
"And to Arkham too," Kid Flash chimed. "I bet that place is too creepy. Did you know its founder, Amadeus Arkham once—"
"You're not going," Robin interrupted. "By we I meant Cyborg and myself. You guys will stay here."
"What?" Kid Flash exclaimed.
"Oh, great, so you're leaving 'the kids' at the tower again?" Superboy muttered. "Look, Robin, we saw you out there with the Joker. You were wrong. You were overly cautious. We should have been out there helping you."
"You don't understand."
"Oh, no, I understand you perfectly, Tim. You do this every time you have a problem, whether it's the Joker, your dad, or even Spoiler! You haven't even mentioned her—it's like she never existed! You always do this. Anytime something comes up, instead of just talking about it like you know you can, you keep it bottled up. You try to face it alone. No matter how many times we prove we're there for you, you always put up that wall and make us climb over it to get to you." Superboy growled, and his fist plowed into the wall, sending ripples down the hallway. Kid Flash stepped back in awe. "You don't know how frustrating it is to put up with you, Tim! It's like nothing we do ever really matters because you always keep us at a distance. You can't do everything alone. You should know that better than anyone. The whole reason you're Robin is because you knew Batman couldn't do it alone. And he's Batman! I don't know what makes you think you can."
A vein in Superboy's forehead throbbed. His face had turned red. His shoulders heaved, but the whole time Robin just stood there, cold, unmoving like a statue.
"Well? Don't you have anything to say?"
Robin may have blinked. But, again, beneath the mask, it was hard to tell.
"God!" Superboy stomped off, muttering expletives the whole way.
Kid Flash watched him go. At least Conner hadn't stomped holes in the floor this time.
"Well," Robin said, drawing Kid Flash's attention. "Are you going to fly off the handle on me too?"
Kid Flash shook his head. He walked up to Robin and punched him in the shoulder. Another sign of fraternal affection. "You're never alone, man. When you need us the most, we'll be there."
Robin watched him walk down the hallway. He watched the door close behind Bart. Then he stopped a sigh. It hurt having Conner mad at him, but not as much as having Conner understand him. Or Bart for that matter. I put up the wall for a reason. He thought of his dad. And Captain Boomerang. He thought of Steph. And the Black Mask. It keeps everyone from getting hurt.
He turned back to the door that led to the Joker's cell. The clown was still up to something, and Robin refused to let him out of sight until he was locked up in Arkham.
Through the door, Robin could hear Joker singing, horribly, in the key of a cat dying:
With their superpowers, they uniiiiite! Never met a villain that they liiiiiiiked. They've got the bad guys on the run. They never stop 'til the job gets done. Because when the world is losing all controooool…Teen Titans, Go!
Robin rolled his eyes. "To think I always thought Maxie Zeuss was our most obnoxious villain…."
