AN: WARNING: There is MAJOR OOCness in this chapter…^^ and you all know the deal with and

Chapter 12- A House Full of Love

"Noin- I will not let that madman cook my dinner!" Milliardo grabbed hold of Noin's shoulders in an effort to get his point across to her. Noin calmly removed his hands, unshaken.

"Well then it's really quite simple," she replied smoothly, "don't eat"

"Don't… eat…" his eyebrow twitched furiously at the suggestionn. "NOIN!" he exploded. "I AM A GUY! AND AS A GUY, MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON STUFFING MY GUT 24/7!!"

"Well too bad, Mr. Manly," Noin cackled, "now GET TO WORK!"

He sighed and dragged the mop after him, his head hung low. "I can't believe I have to do this…" he muttered

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" she roared from down the hallway.

"Nothing…" he whimpered and slinked away. Oh the things he did for love…

"Veerry vell done Heero," Zamaggio applauded him on his very precise slicing of the onions.

"Whatever," Heero sniffed as tears rolled down his face. Noin walked in to see how the new kitchen hand was progressing.

"Wow," she commented dryly, "Heero's crying… worked too hard already? Awww pwoor widdle Heewo!" she said in a mocking/ condescending tone.

"He made me cut onions and…and…" Heero sniffed. Damn this onion gas.

"Aww… was the kitchen work too harsh for pwoor delicate Heewo's hands?" Noin sniggered.

"Shuddup!" Heero yelled, frustration bubbles appearing all over his face.

"Okay okay calm down…" she shook with barely controlled laughter.

"Grrr…" he growled and skulked off

Meanwhilst…

"Hey look I'm supposed to help you out with the cleaning of this dump," Milliardo muttered as he entered the maid's storage room where the maid on duty, Alison, was waiting.

"Oh wow!" she squealed. "Mr. Milliardo! It's such an honour to have you working on my staff…"

"Drop the act," he growled, rolling his eyes.

"Haha all right," she cackled. "What did you do this time?"

"I'm sure you've probably already seen it on the news," he sighed.

"Oh… THAT thing…" she sniggered. "How DOES Ms. Noin put up with you?"

"You take that back!" he yelled. "Noin loves me!"

"Ehehehe…"a large anime sweatdrop rolled down her face. "It's any wonder she does really…"

"Take that baaack," he sniffled, whimpering in the corner. Alison sighed and took a mop. She brought it speeding down onto Milliardo's head.

BASH

"OW!" Milliardo yelled in pain, a red lump swelling where the mop hit his head. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Stop moping and get to work ya mutz!" she ordered.

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me?" he challenged.

"Oh no one," she smiled mildly suggestively as she drew closer to him. "I could use a little company, I get so lonely…" her fingers played their way up his arm. "These arms are so muscular, so strong… they would be good for cleaning or… maybe something else?" she batted her eyelashes flirtatiously

"Okay, okay… I'm going!" he snatched the mop and stormed out of the room, scarlet red.

"Hehehe," she sniggered, "always works…"

"Why am I doing this.. stupid Noin… has to be right all the time…"

"Do I hear you muttering again?" Alison called out in a sing-song tune from down the hallway as they mopped opposite sides of it. Milliardo stopped his mopping temporarily and turned to face her.

"Yes Alison, I am muttering because I am coming here for dinner tonight and Heero, my mortal enemy is cooking it- who knowas what kind of poison he's going to slip into it as if his cooking wasn't poisonous enough- and I am stuck cleaning the house I am visiting! What kind of shit is this?!" he complained all in one breath.

"Aren't you a little old to be having 'mortal enemies'?" she raised an eyebrow. "And if your muscles are getting exhausted I could always…"

"Stop doing that!" he interrupted her mid-sentence, guessing correctly how it was going to end. "I get the point already!"

"Good stuff," she winked playfully. "now BACK TO WORK!"

"Whew…I'm exhausted!" Milliardo panted after he finally finished cleaning the whole first floor.

"No time to rest yet," Alison remarked cheerfully. "We have 3 more floors to go!"

"What?" Milliardo's face was etched with incredulity. "Didn't Noin hire more cleaning staff?"

"Yeah but she gave them all a half day off so that you could repay your debt," she smiled gleefully as Milliardo's face fell further into the depths of dismay

"Repay my debt," he muttered, "it's not like she save my life or anything that warrants this much slave labour!"

"You're telling me," she rolled her eyes as she polished a piece of hardwood furniture. "What's a 19-year-old girl to do?" she sighed. "Broke and cleaning in a mansion she'll never hope of owning while her friends are out there, enjoying the summer days watching movies and finding new guys… and not to mention I'm stuck with a crybaby, whining megalomaniac…"

"I am NOT a megalomaniac!" he yelled from down the hallway, frustration bubbles popping up all over his forehead, like zits. "I tried to destroy the Earth! How can I be a megalomaniac if I tried to destroy the Earth you stupid girl?! And…" he sniffed. "I don't whine…"

Alison opened her mouth but her sentence was interuppted as Heero ran through the room, holding a metal saucepan full of gravy.

"Ow hot, hot, hot!" he exclaimed. "MOVE!" he yelled as he barged through. "Woah!" he lost his footing on the slippery tiled surface and, in an instant, he and the wonderfully polished white tiles were covered in gravy.

"YUY!!!!!!!!!!"

Heero sat there, stunned for a moment. "Eep," he squealed as Milliardo began to charge at him. He clambered up and started to run but tripped over a zooming ball of fur which ran straight into his feet. Milliardo caught in the momentum was also unable to halt in time and collided into Heero. Both hit their heads on the hard floor and were knocked dead unconscious.

"Uhh…" there was a pink, rough slobbery thing moving across his face… eugh… Heero lifted his arm and pushed whatever it was off. His hand met a ball of fur that, a moment later, gave out a small yelp of hurt before it scuttled away. A few seconds later, he could hear the high-pitched laughter of Milliardo.

"What the hell…" he wondered. Owch.. his head really hurt.. it was throbbing in pain. Slowly he turned to see what Milliardo found so hilarious about being soaked in hot gravy, being knocked unconscious and having to clean the hallway all over again. There, at his feet, was the little ball of fur, or well Noin's Pomeranian Lulu, licking the gravy off the soles of his feet.

"Yuy…" he squeezed out through his giggle-fits. "I'll… kill… you…!" There were tears of laughter running down his face as Lulu continued to feed on the delicious gravy. Heero stared at him for a while and shook his head in mild disbelief.

"I'll give you the benefit of doubt and say that it was concussion," he muttered as he slowly got back on his feet. "I'm outta here…"

"Oh these gravy clots are just impossible," Heero mumbled as he ran his fingers through his gravy-soaked hair under the running tap.

"I can't believe you dropped a pot full of gravy!" Zamaggio was fretting. "Dinner is zerrved in 15 minutes! How are ve goin to make more gravy in zat tiime?"

"Calm down… at least your hair isnt soaked… stupid Noin, has to love Milliardo and give him the shower… WHY doesn't she have any other showering facilities around here… its not like she's soO poor…" Heero muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Don't vorry about zee gravy clots… they're the same colour azz your 'air, it camouflages perfectly, hohoho!" he chortled

"Shut UP!" Heero growled as he scrubbed more vigorously.

"Noin! These gravy stains are blotching my beautiful blonde hair! Its going to be a shitty brown colour… like Yuy's!"

"Calm down and stop fidgeting!" Noin gave him a quick sharp slap to keep him still.

"Ow…" Milliardo whined, rubbing his very sore, very red cheek. Noin squirted more conditioner and worked it up into a lather. Lulu trotted into the bathroom, fluffly tail held high, tongue out panting gleefully.

"Get that evil dog away from me!" Milliardo screamed and leapt back. Unfortunately, Noin was still in the process of massaging the conditioner in and her finger slipped, depositing a substantial amount of conditioner into Milliardo's eye.

"AAAARGH!" he screamed in pain. "The pain- it's searing my eye! My beautiful eye!"

"This coming from a guy who piloted Tallgeese, took on most of OZ, and blew up the Epyon while he was still in it…" Noin sighed as she picked up Lulu. Milliardo was still running around blindly, as his vision was temporarily disabled, banging off walls and crashing into mostly everything.

CRACK

"Dammit! Bloody porcelain toilet! Damn that bloody moron Yuy!" he cursed as his shin collided with the toilet bowl. "If the toilet's here, then the sink must be…" he groped his way towards the sink. "OW!" the corner of the medicine cabinet dug into his forehead.

"Oh sit down and I'll get it out for you!" Noin snapped formidably forcing him down onto the stool.

"Yes ma'am," he replied meekly.

Ding ding ding.

"Ze dinner bell. Zat muzzt mean zat Mizz Noin izz ready to be served." Zammagio noted as he whisked up a bowl of soup. "Come on Yuy. She did not pay for your bail for you to worry about your hair!" he laughed as he exited the kitchen. Heero rolled his eyes and picked up the other bowl of soup. Then he remembered the pepper shaker… hehehe… unscrewing the lid, he carefully tipped in small amounts, stirring it in slowly before adding more until the whole shaker was empty.

"YUY!" Milliardo boomed from the dining room, whilst banging on the table. "Where is my soup?!"

"It's coming, it's coming," Heero grumbled. He carried the soup out and set it on the table roughly, causing some of the soup to spill out into Milliardo's lap. Milliardo opened his mouth, obviously to start yelling at Heero but a steely glare from Noin silenced him. He slowly lifted the spoon. Heero watched in anticipation.

"Ait- choo!" the pepper had finally gotten into Milliardo's nose and the force from his sneeze blew the soup right out of his speen and into Noin's face.

"Arh…" Noin wiped her wet face with a napkin.

"That's IT Yuy, you WILL PAY! Mwahahahahaha…" Milliardo grabbed a mop and pointed it threateningly into Heero's face. Heero grabbed a saucepan.

POKE

CRASH

BONK

CLANG this is beginning to sound like one of me and Judy's computer fights lolz

"STOP IT!" Noin stood up between the both of them. Thanks to their superb reflexes, they managed to halt their attacks in time. Milliardo because he obviously didn't want to hurt the woman he loved and Heero because, well, she was a "friend" in the strictest sense of the word. "You are driving me crazy!"

"With love?" Milliardo asked hopefully. She glowered so lividly, he immediately shut up and shrunk down.

"Both of you are going into the basement until you guys sort out this pointless feud!" she growled. She was so angry, neither of them dared to argue. She quickly hustled them into the dark and dank basement. They tumbled down the steps, landing hard on the stone floor. The room was scantily lit buy a solitary, drity lightbulb which hung from a string in the middle of the ceiling.

"This is all YOUR fault Yuy!"

"As if it is!" Heero snapped. "You were the one who threatened me with a mop!"

"Yeah?" I wouldn't have done it if you didn't pepper my soup!"

"It's not my fault you're such a dickhead!"

"What are you talking about? YOU started the drag race AND you graffitied my face!"

"Oh look… liquor," Heero noticed a few crates of imported wine laying a few feet away from them, trying to get Milliardo's attention from what he had done.

"Hmm.. Knowing Noin, it would be… imported Italian or French red wine…"

"I could go for some," Heero cracked the crate open and grabbed a bottle. He uncorked it and started drinking straight from the bottle.

"Hey! Don't hog it all for yourself!"

"Get your own!" Heero swung the bottle out of his reach.

"Fine then- I will!" Milliardo reached into the crate and dug out another bottle. He uncorked his as well and took a long swing out of it and pretty soon, they were drunk as anything. Empty wine bottles littered the floor and the crate was almost emptied by now.

"Ya know Noin's gonna be very annoyed," Milliardo told Heero, who was sitting next to him, in a slurred tone

"I don't care…" Heero took another gulp of wine

"Just like you don't care about my siiister," Milliardo rambled

"I do care about haer…" Heero's voice was so slurred, his words were barely intelligible.

"Theen… then… why don't you ever kisssh her?"

"Because…" Heero leaned over and whispered something into Milliardo's ear

"You WHAT?!" Milliardo yelled, unaware how loud his drunken voice was. "You don't have any experience?!"

Heero's face reddened more than it already was because of the high content of alcohol in his blood.

"No need to tell China…" he muttered, tipsying over as he finished the bottle and grabbed another. Milliardo's raucous, drunken laughter echoed around the room.

"That's funny!" he exclaimed, tears of laughter in his eyes.

"How is it?" Heero yelled.

"Come here," Milliardo wriggled closer to Heero, "And I will show you how!"

"Are ya serious? Cool!" Heero was obviously not himself. Milliardo grabbed the back of Heero's head and drew him closer…closer… their lips were almost touching…

The door flew open.

"I hear some strange noises down…" Noin began. Then she saw what was going on and screamed. They parted immediately.

"You… him?! WHAT?!" Noin shrieked.

"Oh it's okay Noin honey," Milliardo tried to stand up but the alcohol in his bloodstream prevented him from doing so. "I was just teaching Heero here how to…"

"I KNOW!" she yelled. "OMFUG! my fave word ^^" she cried as she looked around the room. "My imported wine!"

"Now there's a very good explanation for this, Noin," Heero laughed as he gulped down more. "And that is… and that is…" He fell over before he finished his sentence. A second later, they could hear the snoring.

"Don't leave without me!" Milliardo lay hiself next to Heero and knocked off as well.

Heero opened his eyes. They were so sore…he rubbed his eyes until his vision cmae back to him. He was lying in some sort of alleyway…how'd he get here? What happened last night? He remembered the gravy… then the soup… the mop… what happened after that? He turned towards the person next to him. Milliardo's bare chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing. Heero poked him. He didn't stir. Heero sighed and swung a punch at his face. But the alcohol had imparied his aim and his fist struck the concrete, drawing a lot of blood, knowing the speed and strength of Heero's punches.

"SHIT!" he swore, trying to shake off the pain. "DAMNIT!"

The din he made finally awoke Milliardo. Crawling off into a corner, he threw up for at least 10 minutes.

"Brr.." Heero noticed it was extremely cold. One glance at Milliardo and himself told him why.

"NOIN!" he yelled.

"Haha Heero, you're nudie!" Milliardo laughed.

"So are you!" Hero snapped back. They looked at each other.

"Oh shit"

A.N.: Totally random I know… and I managed to write that much lol o.O major achievement for me ^^! Don't waste it- please review!! ^^ you know you want to ^_~