A.N. Just the usual deal with and … and also… I've apparently been grounded for a YEAR O_O…because of my crappy report… and yeah… no net access at home so all my net activity has to happen at school… which means that I don't think I'll be able to update as much… but I'll try! AND NO MSN!!! WOE WITH ME!!!
Chapter 13
"Heero," Milliardo said through clenched teeth. "What are we going to do?"
"I've never been trained to handle any of this," Heero growled, grabbing a garbage can
"Well I don't think Dr. J ever you to be needing experience in this kind of situation," Milliardo noted with some amusement.
"Well it's that bloody old man's fault I'm in this situation in the first place!" Heero grimaced and thought of what he was going to do when he got hold of that conniving, scheming, just plain evil bastard…
"Yeah I think we got bigger worries than that right now," Milliardo rolled his eyes.
"This isn't one of those things where we have to co-operate is it?" Heero looked at Milliardo skeptically
"Well we're in the same boat aren't we Yuy? Believe me, if someone had to see me naked, you're right at the bottom of my list…"
"You have a list of people who you want to show your naked body to?" Heero couldn't help but have a bit of humour at Milliardo's expense. Milliardo reddened.
"How did we get like this anyway?" he mused
"I can make a good bet it was Noin," Heero replied drily. "Do you remember a thing about last night?"
"Nope- too hung over…" Milliardo replied. "Omfug, my headache…" he clutched his head and for the first time, Heero noticed the dark brown blotches which stained Milliardo's long, blonde hair- the gravy. He sniggered quietly to himself.
"What's so amusing Heero?" Milliardo snapped.
"Nothing," Heero told him, a small smile on his face. Extrememly suspicious as to what could make the Perfect Soldier actually smile, Milliardo ran to the first shop window and stared at the reflection
"Wait Zechs, you forgot your…" Heero held up and old newspaper for Milliardo to cover what Mother Nature blessed him with but it was too late. The woman getting her hair cut in the window seat got a full blast of nature's "true" glory and screamed blue murder.
"Oh help us all! It's a perverted flasher!" she cried, covering her eyes. Heero sighed.
"I tried to warn you," he shrugged. But that was the least of Milliardo's worries.
"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" he shrieked. "AND MY FACE!" he realized that the foundation and concealer that Sally had laboriously applied to his face, had rubbed off, showcasing Heero's artwork to the fullest extent. In total hysterics, Milliardo quickly rushed into the barber shop and hurriedly sat himself down into the first seat, pushing the other traumatised lady off.
"Quickly! CUTMYHAIRCUTMYHAIRSHAVETHEDAMNGRAVYOFF!" Milliardo ordered in one breath.
"What?" the hairdresser backed away from the chair slowly.
"MYHAIRMYHAIR!" Milliardo babbled. He grabbed the scissors and shoved them into the scared hairdresser's hands. "NOWNOWNOW!"
"Uhh…" the hairdresser glanced nervously around.
"Police?" one of the other hairdressers had called the police. "There is a perverted madman and flasher threatening our customers! Please send an animal control team or SOMETHING over here… now!"
"Wow Noin, this place is really clean!" Sally remarked as she stepped into Noin's spacious mansion. "Milliardo's work?"
"Yep!" Noin beamed happily. "It's amazing what those two can do when they are forced to"
"Where are they now actually?" Sally wondered. She wasn't hearing the usual banging and crashing, yells or taunts. Noin paused for a moment before she walked over to the TV and switched it on.
"We are coming to you live, where there have been reports of not one but two flashers running down Main Street!" the reporter's voice blared from her surround-sound system. Sally stared at her friend incredulously. Noin shrugged.
"They had it coming to them," she shrugged. Sally raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Oh come ON Sally," Noin implored, "they drank my imported WINE!"
"Ah"
Noin sniggered as Milliardo dashed across the screen yelling "NOIN!!" as he went, tailed by a small group of police officers. A few seconds later, Heero appeared on screen and a succession of short bleeps followed.
"I gotta hand it to ya Noin," Sally sighed. "Nothing like a bit of shock therapy"
"I am going to kill Noin when we get back!" Heero growled
"If we get back!" Milliardo replied, as he glanced frantically over his shoulder. The cops were quickly gaining on him. He picked up the pace and Heero followed, always careful to conceal what Mother Nature had blessed him with. "Where exactly are we Zechs?"
"We're along Main St you fool!" Zechs yelled. He turned around. "Heero?" Heero was nowhere in sight. Zechs sighed. "This so figures…"
A few seconds later, Zechs spotted him motioning to him from a side alley. Zechs quickly ran over to Heero, who had found a more efficient way to cover himself than a garbage can lid.
"Crispy Buns- Hot and Fresh?" Milliardo read the sign that Heero was wearing, before bursting out in fits of laughter. "Good one Heero!" he snorted.
"Shut UP," Heero growled. "It was the only one I could find!"
Milliardo was still laughing.
"It's better than your face and hair," Heero told him bluntly. That shut him up. They sat there for a while, saying nothing.
"Do you think the cops have given up yet?" Milliardo asked after a while.
"Only one way to find out," Heero told him. He cautiously stood up and edged his way out slowly. He immediately ducked back in as a police car raced past. "I'm guessing not!"
Milliardo sighed. "I can't believe Noin would do this to me…the love of her life!" he cried as streams of anime tears started to flow down his still-graffitied face. Heero sighed
"You really overestimate your importance in her life you know..."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Milliardo asked. "I am the most important thing in her life!"
"You know, I'm really going to regret this, but I'll let you in on something," Heero told him, "Noin is feeling less and less significant in your life as you go running around, fixing up that terraforming on Mars shit and always at ESUN meetings… you're always too busy for her…she feels like she's not good enough for you anymore…"
"What the hell are you on about? And what would you know anyway, oh he-of-the-stoic-face-and-heart?" Milliardo snapped.
"I know more than you think I know," Heero replied, "and when was the last time you sent her anything?"
"Omigosh…" Milliardo gasped. "You're so right! I'll pay more attention to her from now on! I love you Heero!" he threw his arms around Heero in a "friendly" hug.
"Eh…" a massive anime sweatdrop ran down Noin's face as she watched Milliardo hug Heero, in all his naked glory, on live television.
"Get away from me!" Heero shoved Milliardo off him. "Gay freak…"
"I AM GOING TO THE FLORIST RIGHT NOW! TO GET MY LADY A DOZEN RED ROSES!" Milliardo stood up, striking the superhero pose.
"Fly, Superman, fly…" Heero muttered sarcastically.
"I will!" Milliardo marched determined to the florist across the road.
"Wait Zechs… you're…oh well I tried…" Heero shurgged and sat back to watch the fun. A second later, indignant honking echoed from all the way down Main St. Heero sniggered as Milliardo strode into the florist
"Look here you!" Milliardo slammed his fists onto the counter in determination, scaring the young sales person. "I want to get a dozen red roses for my beautiful lady and I want them now!"
"Uh…sir… I'm not allowed to serve you…" the young sales person stammered out. "You're uh… not dressed in the proper…fashion… I'm not allowed to serve you sir!" she rushed quickly, her eys squeezed tightly shut. He leaned forward onto the counter and grabbed her collar threateningly.
"Get me a dozen roses or I'll…" he said trying to look menacing.
"UGH!" she pushed him away in a surprising show of strength. He stumbled backwards into a pot of lilies behind him, toppling the pot onto him and drenching him through.
"What the…?" he tried to get out of the way of the lilies but slipped on the water and fell forward into the gerberas. His face buried in the pot, he stumbled around blindly as he tried to remove it from his head.
"No sir! Don't go that way! The rose disp…!"
But it was too late…
CRASHMilliardo had collided with the huge rose display near the window as he popped the bucket off his head.
Outisde, Heero was watching the action and mayhem from a safe distance, still wearing his Crispy Buns- Hot and Fresh sign. He sniggered to himself as he watched Milliardo stagger around blindly the shop. He suddenly became aware of a deafening whirring noise overhead. He looked up to see an old OZ helicopter descending dangerously onto Main St. More honking and confusion ensued as oncoming traffic tried to swerve out of the way of the helicopter. This unsuccesful action resulted in a 10 car pile-up on either sid of the road.. The helicopter landed heavily in the middle o the road and the tinted glass rolled down, revealing the pilot
"Heero!" Trieze yelled over the noise. "Get in!"
Heero had never been more glad to see Trieze in his life.
"Where's Zechs?" Trieze asked.
Milliardo saw the helicopter land and knew that it could only be one person.
"Trieze! Wait for me!" Milliardo hastily got up, gathering the roses on the ground to cover himself as he ran to the road.
He clambered into the helicopter, still covered in roses.
"Boy am I glad to see you," Milliardo told Trieze breathlessly.
"Same here," Trieze wa eyeing Milliardo rather closely. "Ah… you're naked and you're covered all over in roses and really sexy cuts… have you been reading my diar…I MEAN, here's a jacket…ahem…" he went a deep scarlet as he tossed Milliardo a spare jacket.
Despite the sudden warmth that the jacket brought, Milliardo felt a shudder go down his spine as they lifted off.
A.N. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry I didn't update for like AGES…. I've got like so much homework and I had a really bad writer's block.. not to mention my shitty year so far but I hope it doesn't reflect too badly in my writing =)
