A.N- I'm putting all my assignment work aside for this so… OH CRAP I'VE GOT A CRUMPET IN THE TOASTER… I'll be right back… )

Hi! I'm back… if you haven't picked up from earlier A.Ns or the crumpet incident mentioned up there (the crumpet now resides 'happily' in my belly) I write my A.Ns much like a running journal… its interesting looking through all the A.Ns I've written in this story and seeing how it reflected all the crap that's been happening in my life in the past year and a half (can you believe it's been THAT long since I started this thing?? LOL) ANYWAY… I'm rambling, so on with the madness! – on a side note, who exactly am I talking to?? lol-

And since doesn't let me use those horizontal 'V' things anymore (you know the ones I'm talking about) '-' and '-' will now symbolize author comments )

Chapter 17

"Can't believe my friends would do this to me," Treize sniffed, as he sat forlornly on his bottom bunk. "After all we've been through!"

"Oh stop complaining!" his bunkmate stuck his head down to tell Treize to shut up.

"Waaaah!" Treize screamed and jumped up in surprise when he saw who it was. Unfortunately his hair happened to get caught on the bedsprings, resulting in much torture of hair, agony and girlish screaming.

"Oh hold still!" Quinze scolded him as he got the last knot out. By this time, Treize looked like he was wearing a petrified cat.

"You didn't have to startle me like that!" Treize sniffed. "I've already had one huge upsetting shock for the day…what are you doing here anyway?"

"That's none of your business," Quinze remarked sharply. "I can't believe we have to share a room. Me share a room with YOU"

"I know!" Treize rolled his eyes. He whipped a bit of chalk out of nowhere. "Here is my side of the room," he said drawing a line straight down the middle of the room. "You stay on your side, okay?"

'Hey," Quinze objected, "how come you get the vanity mirror?"

"Cos I use it more than you do," Treize said snobbishly.

Before Quinze could argue back, a voice barked out over the loud speaker, "All cadets assemble in the main hall immediately!"

Grudgingly, they made their way to the main hall for their first encounter with their commander, Quinze deliberately stomping over Treize's 'line' for spite.

They fell into line, as the other cadets began pouring in. Once the hall was filled up, a heavily built Middle- Eastern man took the microphone and began to talk.

"He looks kinda familiar, don't you reckon?" Treize whispered to Quinze as he listed out the protocol, and schedule.

"Yeah… I just can't place his face…"

"No talking!" he barked at the two of them. "Now, your commander wishes to talk to you," he walked off the stage, and soon their commander arrived.

"HOLY CRAP!" Treize yelled, as he recognised the young adolescent redhead now addressing them. Everyone turned in his direction. The redhead beamed.

"Hello, father," she smiled

- Meanwhile-

"Zechs I'm hungry," Heero groaned as they reached Milliardo's very large mansion. "Dammit, did we really have to run all the way from Une's place? Like couldn't we have caught a taxi or something?"

"Are YOU going to pay for it? And I don't want anyone seeing me wearing this ridiculous thing!" he gestured at the flowered muumuu.

"Er… too late," Heero pointed behind him, and just before Milliardo could turn around he heard the flashes and the clicks of tabloid cameras. How they managed to get to his place in that short amount of time was a real mystery but right now he didn't really care. He was more concerned with what they were doing there.

"What are you losers doing here?" he growled. More camera bulbs flashed as journalists swooped in for that rare scoop. "Get out of my property RIGHT NOW!" he ordered them

"Mr. Peacecraft, why are you dressed like that? Can you confirm the rumours that you have indeed hit rock bottom and gone completely off the wall?" one tabloid journalist had the audacity to ask.

"I may be off the wall, but you'll be the first to be smeared across it if you don't move your sorry asses off my property!" he yelled in retaliation. Just at that moment, a wind decided to pick up and pick up it did- Milliardo's muumuu that is. Gasps from women's magazine columnists and more cameras went off. Heero rolled his eyes. There would be a lot of happy women once the next issue of Gossip and Chatter was released. And one not very happy woman, he shuddered as he thought of Noin. Shaking his fist at them one last time, Milliardo was pulled into the house by Heero.

"Damn stupid parasites," he muttered, slamming the door shut and stalking off. Heero walked in after him.

"Do you have any spare shirts Zechs? Mine's kinda wet," he asked.

"Yeah sure, just come in here and get one," Milliardo called out from his room. Heero walked in, as he started to pull his shirt over his head.

"Uh…" he stopped as he saw that Milliardo, too, was standing topless. Before either of them had time to react, a camera flash from the window blinded them both.

"What the…?!" Milliardo growled and ran to the window (Still topless). "WHY YOU…!" he was breathing fire as he caught two paparazzi photographers stationed diligently outside. Pushing past Heero, he stormed out into the back lawn and kicked both their asses to hell. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT!" he yelled after them. Nostrils still flaring from residual anger, he marched back inside. He rummaged in his drawer for a little while and tossed Heero a plain black shirt.

"So what have you got for eats around here?" Heero asked, as his stomach growled.

"Whatever's in the fridge," Milliardo mentioned nonchalantly, flopping onto the bed, completely exhausted. Muttering about laziness, Heero ambled into the kitchen and having, seemingly putting his phobia of kitchens behind him, began to casually rummage through Milliardo's many fridges. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he pulled out bowl after bowl of half-eaten instant crap, and finally chanced upon an unopened, not expired pack of frozen chips. Licking his lips at the thought of eating hot chips, he decided that yes, he could deep-fry these chips. "How's hot chips for ya, Zechs?" he hollered to the bedroom. A distinct grunt was heard, which Heero took as agreement. Filling a metal pot with oil, Heero switched up the heat to the maximum setting, and waited. Suddenly his watch beeped. "Oh crap!" he exclaimed. "Hi- 5!" Yes, those darn kids had managed to get even the Perfect Soldier hooked onto Hi-5 (however it was only so that he could ridicule their silly costumes and primal technology –wink-wink-). Rushing out to the lounge room, Heero threw himself into the huge beanbag and flipped on Zechs' high-resolution plasma TV.

"Five in the air, let's do it together…"

About halfway through the show, Heero could smell the distinct smell of burning. 'I haven't even put the chips in yet though…" he thought to himself. "OH CRAP! THE OIL!" he yelled aloud, as he realized what was burning, and dashed to the kitchen. But he wasn't prepared for what he was confronted with. "ARGH!" he cried. "ZECHS IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

"I'm going to kill you for what, now?" Zechs magically appeared next to Heero. He looked towards the disaster zone. "Wow Yuy, you are so right… I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

"WAIT! How do we put it out? How do we put it out?" Heero asked, pointing to the column of fire that was coming from the pot of oil. "I know!" he had a flash of 'brilliance'. "Water puts out fire right!" he ran over to the sink (obviously he hadn't learnt his previous lesson to do with oil and water), filled a cup full of water and poured it into the oil fire. Obviously all it did was get bigger.

"No! You idiot!" Milliardo yelled at him. "You have to put more water on it!"

"Oh! Right!" Heero rushed out to the backyard for a hose.

"Meanwhile," Milliardo said to himself, "I shall attempt at blowing some of it away!" …?! Crouching slightly, he began to blow his hardest in an attempt to make the fire smaller. By now, Heero had returned with the hose. Seeing Milliardo 'blowing' the fire out, Heero decided to take some 'initiative' and go help him. Dropping the hose, Heero soon returned wielding a large Japanese ornamental fan. Taking up position behind Milliardo he began to wave the fan up and down to create a wind force to blow out the fire. However he had not foreseen that this added wind would cause Milliardo's long luxurious locks to blow forward, and yep, into the flames. A second later, Milliardo was running around the kitchen like a chook with its head cut off, screaming blue murder -I gotta wonder where they came up with that phrase…blue murder…-.

"Put it out! put it out!" he screamed, pointing to the new column of fire atop his head. Heero snorted and stood back for a little, marvelling at how much Milliardo resembled a human match. Finally moving, upon the motivation that Noin would slaughter him if Milliardo had to wear a hairpiece on their wedding day, Heero picked up the hose, switched the water supply on and sprayed at Milliardo's head.

"Milliardo! Stop moving damn you!" he growled as he kept missing because Milliardo was still running around like a chook with its head cut off. Soon the whole kitchen was soaked in water. "Stay still Milliardo!"

Whimpering, Milliardo finally stood in one spot for more than three seconds and Heero managed to put his hair out.

"How bad is it?" Milliardo asked.

"Uh…" a giant sweat drop ran down Heero's face. Milliardo's hear was now extremely short, not to mention it looked like he had just been on a fun adventure with the paper clip and light socket. -By the way, forgive any net lingo errors, I'm typing on MSN at the same time -. "That's not important now," Heero patted Milliardo on the back, hoping to spare him the awful, awful truth about his hair, "the important thing is PUTTING THAT DAMN FIRE OUT!"

"Oh yeah…" Amidst all the pain and confusion of having his hair catch alight, Milliardo had forgotten that there was a fire elsewhere that was now burning the cabinets around the stove.

"Fire extinguisher!" Heero exclaimed. Wrenching the fire extinguisher from where it was attached to the wall, he began an all-out assault on the fire. The fire flared up and hissed violently. Milliardo and Heero cowered.

"Heero," Milliardo whispered. "Somehow that fire is absorbing the energy from your attacks!"

"Zechs," Heero whispered back fiercely, "I think you've been watching too much Dragon Ball Z! Now eat this, fire!" Heero, I think by now, was going slightly boing from the smoke that was amassing in the relatively small kitchen area, and the psychological stress of the events of the past few days (car race with Zechs, getting arrested by Dorothy, a night in jail, getting bailed out by Noin, having to work for Noin, getting drunk, almost kissing Milliardo, waking up in the nude on Main Street… oh the list goes on) had finally caught up with our Perfect Soldier, and on a whim, he threw the fire extinguisher into the fire.

"You crazy bitch!" Milliardo yelled as the fire extinguisher made contact with the fire. By this time Heero was already hiding underneath the table trying to remember his Hail Marys. Milliardo quickly dove under the table as the whole room shook in explosion.

"Is it over yet?" Heero asked

"Yes!" Milliardo replied, fuming. "See! I told you! The fire absorbed your attack and charged up its own…I'll be quiet," he trailed off as Heero looked at him in a semi-death glare, semi- what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you way. Poking his head out from under said table, Heero quickly inspected the kitchen before pulling his head back in again. "We'd better call the fire brigade"

"You know," the fire officer told them after he had managed to rescue what was left of Milliardo's kitchen from total fiery carnage, "you could've just put the lid on the pot and that would've stopped the fire"

"Oh"

A.N. Haha… pointless chapter I know… once again, this was loosely based on ANOTHER incident my brother had in the kitchen (only without the burning of hair and exploding fire extinguisher etc) where he left the oil too long, it started to burn and he called the fire brigade P… ah he's so full of laughs… D… credit also has o go to him for helping me with inspiration for the craziness of this chapter )