Title: Easy as Life
Author: Willow
Feedback: oh yay…
Pairing: Roger/Mark
Rating: umm Pg PG-13 I don't know
Genre: Drama
Summary: Roger thinks about Mimi's drug use and the possiblity of using again, how he could do it.
Notes: Based on the song "Easy as Life" in Aida. Mark and Roger are in an Established relationship. The lyrics are in bold and what his mind is saying is in italics
Special Thanks: My high school for doing this as their musical.
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Crying and sadness
Disclaimer: I wish but credit goes to the real owners. Of both Rent and Aida.
Roger walked into his ex girlfriend's apartment trying to find one of his band shirts. There on the table was the small syringe filled with the smack all ready to be shot into the victims arm. His breath quickened as he looked at the thing intently. "Oh god. Come on Roger don't be tempted, think about Mark." He said to himself quietly.
"Look at that. Isn't it pretty, think of the feeling it would give, that beautiful release." His mind retorted back.
"But-But Mark!" he said back thinking of the young man upstairs.
"All I have to do is to forget how much I love him" his brain fought with him.
"All I have to do is put my longing to one side" Roger said regarding the drugs.
"Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation Passion would have cooled and all the magic would have died
It's easy, it's easy" his snide mind ached for that needle. Roger started scratching at the old scars on his arms. "All I have to do is to pretend I never knew him"
"On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart
Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start
It's easy, It's easy" Roger began to side with the evil in his mind. "Until I think about him as he was when I last touched him
And how he would have been were I to be with him today
Those very rare occasions don't let up they keep on coming
All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away" he rethought, looking down to see that the needle in question was being held in his hand. "And though I'll think about him till the earth draws in around me
And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love
There is no denial, no betrayal but redemption
Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above
It's easy
It's easy as life" He said to himself as he pushed his sleeve up.
"Easy to leave Mark." His mind pushed, snapping Roger out of his state of insanity.
"NO!" he screamed and threw the syringe to the ground and watched his torture seep over the ground. "No." he took a few steps and fell to his knees. He put his head in his hands and sobbed. "I'm so sorry, so sorry." He cried to Mark who couldn't even hear him. Suddenly a hand touched his shoulder. Roger turned to look into the bright blue eyes that were staring back at them. "Mark, I almost-it was in my hand- I was going to- my mind told me too- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Roger cried harder in Mark's arms.
"It's alright as long as you didn't," Mark cooed softly stroking the broken musician's hair. "It's alright"
"Mark, He told me to leave you, the needle would feel better then you. He was so wrong Mark, he tried to hurt me, he tried to hurt you. Oh God." Roger fell to the floor again and Mark took him in his arms, letting Roger cry out his trouble, never once letting go.
"Life isn't Easy Roger." Mark said, holding the rock star close.
