Chapter 8

Broken Wishes

The next day passed like any other long, drawn out, boring Sunday. Kaoru had stayed in bed until nearly 12 o'clock when her mother finally succeeded in waking up the girl and insisting she shower and have something to eat.

Lazily Kaoru woke up to the bright daylight that flooded her room. She groaned at the awful feeling in her head and sat up in bed for several minutes with her eyes closed before finally dragging herself out from under the sheets. Still barely able to keep her eyes half open, she fumbled around in her dressers looking for comfortable house clothes to slip into after her shower. She didn't even bother looking in the mirror in her room for fear of seeing her horrific reflection. "I feel like shit, I can't possibly look any better".

She then grabbed her clean towel along with the rest of her clothing and headed to the bathroom. Her mother had already told her to hurry and get downstairs for some fresh cooked food. Kaoru guessed that the woman had been awake since the crack of dawn as usual even on her day off. She worked six days a week, and only got Saturday nights off so she was home during the day on Sundays. "I wonder if she's pissed at me?"

Kaoru shut and locked the bathroom door and immediately noticed her mom had spent the morning cleaning the house. The pale yellow bathroom tiles were wiped clean and gleamed like glass. The cold tile floors were partially covered with a fresh new bath mat, and the porcelain surfaces gleamed in the light that flooded in. Sunlight illuminated the space even through the small opaque window so Kaoru decided against flicking on the light switch. She hung up her garments and towel on the nearby rack and moved towards the mirror and sink. Reluctantly, she looked at her image and let out a sigh at the sight of her reflection.

Her hair looked as if it hadn't been combed in days and she decided she might as well wash it today. She'd taken off her cardigan last night and now only wore her pink tank top and denim skirt, both of which were heavily wrinkled. Kaoru couldn't stand to be in the dirty clothing any longer and quickly removed them, standing only in her underwear and leaned over the porcelain white sink.

Reaching to her right she turned on the water nozzle in the shower and decided to let it warm a bit before jumping in, although she felt more like having a nice long bath. As she waited, Kaoru grabbed her toothbrush and proceeded to clean out the remaining evidence of the previous nights philandering. After rinsing out her mouth, Kaoru splashed some cold water on her face to shake off the rest of her haze. She looked up into the mirror, face dripping with cold water; her eyes were still puffy and red from crying to sleep. "Last night…" The memories came flooding back to her as she stared at her image.

"Dad was pissed. Argh, he's always mad. What does he mean by ME dishonoring them? He's the one that hides in the hole all day drinking. Keh!...God, yesterday was insane. I wonder what…Kenshin…Damn I made such a fool of myself".

Kaoru couldn't recall too much detail of the previous night's activities. She remembered getting into a drinking contest with Sano and then after that she remembered being outside, sitting on a window ledge. "Just how much did I have to drink?' She couldn't recall how or why they had left the arcade slash restaurant slash bar! There was something about the following events that were all in a blur. Kaoru tried to think hard and recall everything. But all she remembered was Kenshin by her side the whole time. "He probably thinks I am such a dumb ass for getting stone cold drunk like that! Was it THAT bad though?"

Then, as if a ton of bricks had suddenly been released and crashed onto her head, she recalled something, "Oh my gosh, he KISSED me!" She remembered it! The kiss! "Did I SLAP him?" Wholly shit Kaoru! You slapped him!" Suddenly she felt incredibly queasy, but knew it wasn't the alcohol anymore. It was her stomach being in a million knots and her heart racing under her pink bra. "You got DRUNK and SLAPPED KENSHIN! You stupid, stupid, stupid…" Kaoru was slamming her hands on the counter of the sink and continued to curse herself.

Eventually she stopped and decided she needed to get under the warm water and wash off. As if the water would help wash away her 'performance' last night, she quickly removed her bra and underwear and jumped into the shower. Her hair was instantly matted down and stuck to her back as she basked in the warmth of the water and allowed it trickle all around her and soak into her skin.

Standing still under the constant stream for several minutes, Kaoru leaned on the cold tiles and let the wall support her up. With her head bent slightly down, the water pushed some of her hair around her neck and shoulders as it began to cascade in a black, wet blanket all around her.

She turned her head up towards the showerhead and let the warm water hit her face. The droplets massaged her forehead and every other part upon which they beat down on. Kaoru let out a sigh and continued to let the memories torrent her, "He likes you..." those words, they were his words and her stomach felt a familiar tightening. Those words continued to replay over and over in her head.

"What had he said? 'Kaoru, you know I really like you'. Damn, he likes me?" Kaoru blushed at the thought of the cute red head. She recalled he'd been close to her all night. She couldn't remember when they had walked out of the restaurant or how she got on the window ledge or even how they got to the theater. As a matter of fact, she couldn't really remember the movie. Then she frowned at the distinct memory of it being a horror flick.

She remembered a few moments of warmth in his arms. His face had been so close to her and he'd looked at her with so much want and worry in his eyes. Those eyes…how perfect they were. She couldn't recall exactly what they looked like all last night, but just knowing the warm amethyst color and his perfect features, Kaoru couldn't help but blush at the thought of recalling how he'd kissed her. It felt soft and chaste to her. She felt that he hadn't been forceful with her, but he had definitely had made the first move to kiss her! "Just as long as it wasn't ME throwing myself all over him!"

Then she remembered being in his car, "Right, he dropped me home." She remembered how she had cried like a little child against him. Then she remembered, "Argh, I told him about dad. Why did you do that Kaoru?" Kaoru had grown up able to cope and learned to deal with her father's antics. She'd leaned on her mother for support as a young child, and now she thought she would be strong enough to deal with it on her own. She never wanted her already stressed and over-worked mom to deal with the sadness and anxiety that she felt.

She thought she was stronger than admitting everything so personal to a boy she'd known for so little. "He probably thinks I am such some sort of a charity case. Shit, tomorrow is Monday. I'll see him tomorrow. I have to talk to Misao!"

With that thought, Kaoru snapped back to reality and finished her shower. She stepped out, her hair squeaky clean and her skin glowed from the freshness of the soap and water. Warm vanilla and jasmine aroma of her body wash wafted around in the heavy stem that clung to the walls and mirror. Kaoru quickly dried off her skin and put on her fresh new clothing. Loose, dark navy sweatpants bottom and a plain white t-shirt over her most comfortable cotton under garments. She picked up her dirty clothing and stepped out of the shower. Before heading downstairs, she stopped in her room and smoothed on some moisturizer across her face and squeezed some excess water out her tresses.

Hanging her towel to dry and dumping her laundry in the nearby basket, she headed downstairs. "I need to eat before I call Misao! I have a feeling she'll have me on the phone for hours!"

Kaoru made her way down the stairs and to the first floor. Her soft slippers made no noise on the hard wood and she quietly slipped into the kitchen where her mom was already plating food. The woman looked up and Kaoru couldn't decipher the look on her weary features.

"I see you're awake and showered. Good. Now sit down and eat something. I made some extra for your visitor today."

Kaoru nearly fell over at her mother's words, "Oh my god, Kenshin!"

"Misao called while you were still asleep. She told me not to bother waking you and just to let you know that she would be over a little later. Actually," the woman glanced at the clock on the wall, "she should be here in about an hour."

"MISAO!", Kaoru let out a sigh of relief, as she nodded at her mom. "Right, KENSHIN of all people called and spoke to your mom about having lunch here. God…I'm so hopeless!"

"Where's Yahiko?" Kaoru noticed that her throat was slightly sore.

"He already ate and ran outside to play with his friends. I told him to be home soon. Speaking of," she walked over with two plates of food and set one down in front of her daughter, "you know better than be out late Kaoru. In the future, please call me and tell where you are if you're going to be late. I was really worried about you! And you know I can't get a moment sleep knowing any of my children are out at night." The woman sat down adjacent to Kaoru at the small kitchen table.

"I know, I know mom. I'm sorry about last night. I told you we…we met up with friends, and I just lost track of time. Sorry!" She hesitated before asking the woman, "Was dad really mad?"

Did she have to ask!

"You know your father. Just try not to be out late like that okay? You know that I trust you Kaoru, but I can't deal with work, bills, his crap, and then him getting angry like that. The whole time you weren't home, he was fuming and screaming at me."

"I'm sorry mom." Kaoru wanted to cry, but kept the tears in and gulped down the food in her plate. She couldn't look at her mother any longer without loosing control and bursting into tears. Her mother looked so tired and seemingly needed a weeks sleep! Rest and relaxation were luxuries the woman would never know because of the man just in the room down the short hallway.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence as Kaoru helped clear the table afterwards. She volunteered to do the dishes as she noticed her mom take out a much smaller portion of food in another plate. She knew whom it was for.

Turning one last time to her daughter before exiting the kitchen, her mother called, "Don't worry Kaoru okay? You can hang out with your friends. I'm not against that. Just let me know what's going on, okay?" and she smiled lovingly at her daughter.

"Okay mom."

After finishing the dishes and sweeping out the kitchen, Kaoru crept past the living room to make her way back to her room. She heard the familiar struggles of her mother trying to force feed her father the food. Shaking it off, Kaoru headed to her room and began to tidy up for her friends visit.

She thought about Kenshin and his 'deadline' on Monday. "Such a cocky bastard… but a cute one" she mused. Her thoughts turned to her parents as she recalled the insistence of her father forbidding her to have a boyfriend. "Why does he get to set the rules? He doesn't work, doesn't care what happens to us, and certainly doesn't care if we live or die. He just wants to be in control! Besides, Kenshin's…just…a friend!"

Kaoru was never the one to break her parent's rules and do as she pleased. She was the embodiment of a good daughter, dependable older sister, and a star pupil. Her grades never slipped and she received nothing but accolades from her professors. "What's so wrong about this? Argh, but should I go out with Kenshin? He IS cute, and sweet, but…but…damn…where is Misao?"

As promised Misao arrived right on time and Kaoru's mother greeted her at the door. As they hugged and asked how the other one was doing, while Kaoru waited in the stairwell. She greeted her friend and indicated her to come up to her room. After beaming another winning smile at Kaoru's mom, Misao bounced up the stairs behind her friend.

Kaoru made sure to shut and lock her room door behind them. Misao jumped on the bed as Kaoru sauntered to her desk chair and sat down.

"Soooooooooo?" she giggled. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap all day! Misao, was I really that bad last night? Be honest!" Kaoru asked.

"Ah, let's just say you were ready to pick a few fights with a few different people." She laughed aloud, "We had to practically drag you away! Well…actually…KEEEEN-SHIN did!"

Kaoru groaned as she let herself fall down out of her seat and onto the soft rug on the floor. She looked up at her friend who was now hugging a pillow to her chest and still smiling.

"Did I really act that much like an idiot? No wait…you know what…I don't wanna' know!" Kaoru felt incredibly embarrassed, not in front of her friend though, but at the thought of her acting up in front of Kenshin.

"Haha! Kaoru, it wasn't so bad you know. Besides you got some major alone time with Kenshin! He was so worried about you all night. Umm…especially when you almost cracked your head open. LMAO! You totally went down hard on the steel table at the restaurant. We had to practically run outta' there before they started checking your drunk ass for ID or something. Then, we had carry you outta' there since you didn't wanna' leave. Kenshin was so sweet though. Kept holding you up, ahem…hugging you…and I could've sworn I saw him kiss you outside!"

"Shit she saw it", Kaoru thought as she felt her face heat up.

"Awww, you're BLUSHING! How cute!" Misao chuckled.

"Shhh! Do you want my parents to hear?"

In a hushed tone, Misao continued to giggle. "Okay, okay, sorry. So…tell me what happened in the movies? I was trying to catch glimpses of you two sitting there. He had his arm around you. I mean I wanted to tell him to make sure and behave himself. You are my girl and all…well…anything happen?" Her eyes widened with anticipation.

"Misao! No, nothing happened. Why did you let me go into a horror movie anyway? You know that crap scares me to death! I think I was passed out the whole time thank god! But ummm…Kenshin had his arm around me the whole time?" Kaoru already knew the answer to her own question. She couldn't forget the warm body that she had rested on and hid behind during the beginning of the movie.

"Damn! Okay, okay, okay! What about when he drove you home? Now I KNOW you weren't that wasted then! You had slept some of it off. But of course lover boy was all," and in a deep voice, mocking Kenshin, Misao imitated "I will drive her home! Sano, make sure Misao gets home safe."

Kaoru giggled at her friend's reenactment, and blushed at the thought of Kenshin being so worried about her taking the bus.

"Damn, I was like 'okay DAD'!" Misao laughed.

"Ah…well…okay. I need to ask you about this actually." Kaoru paused for several seconds trying to figure out how to tell her friend.

"What, what, what…just tell me!" Misao asked impatiently.

Kaoru rolled her eyes and decided to just let it all out, "he…he asked me out."

"WHAT!"

"SHHH! I told you my parents!"

"Oh, oh right sorry!" Misao's tone softened, but the excitement in her voice was still evident. "Oh man Kaoru, what did you say?"

"What the hell was I supposed to say? I told him I needed to think about it."

Misao burst out laughing and Kaoru couldn't help but smile.

"Poor guy! What'd he say?"

"Poor guy? Poor guy nothing! He said I have till Monday at school. He gave me a DEADLINE for god's sake."

"Haha! You deserve that! The boy totally put up with your shit all night, and you practically shot him down. So what's gonna' happen tomorrow?"

"I don't know! What do you think?" Kaoru asked her friend.

"Hmmm…" the girl feigned intense thought for a few milliseconds before bursting back with a response. "OF COURSE YOU SHOULD! Go for it girl!"

"What!" Kaoru was in disbelief. She had known Misao forever but she would've never guessed the girl would be okay with Kaoru dating a boy. Misao knew Kaoru's parents well enough and understood the situation she had to deal with at home. How could she be so okay with this new guy wanting to go out with her friend? "Misao! Are you serious? Well, obviously I can't tell my parents? Or maybe I should tell mom?"

"NO! Don't say anything! It's not like you're marrying the guy Kaoru. You guys are just going out…dating! I know you've never been on a real date, but it has nothing to do with their impression of it…just hangin' out…movies, etc." Misao let out a chuckle and went on, "besides, when ARE you gonna' start dating? You don't plan on being arranged married to some lunatic do you? You need to get out there woman!"

Kaoru let herself drift into thought over her friend's statements.

"And Kaoru, Kenshin is a really nice guy. I mean he WAS worried about you, and honestly I've been noticing him eying you in school. He clearly likes you. So why not? I say you should go for it! Hot guy, with a hot car! Oh! Those other bitches will be so jealous of you at school!"

"I dunno Misao!" Kaoru thought about her father's statement just the night before. He'd practically threatened her life and then there was her mother. Should she be honest with her and tell her? But Misao was right! It's not as if Kenshin wanted to marry her. "We could just take it super-slow and see what happens" Kaoru entertained the idea of going out with Kenshin.

"You know Misao he was beginning to be a good friend. What if…what if it doesn't work out between us and we end up hating each other?" Kaoru looked for any viable reason to change her friend's mind as if it were Misao who had to make the decision for her.

"Kaoru, are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

"Perceptive little twerp!"

Misao continued, "Well that's what I think! You should say 'yes' and just take it from there. What do you say?"

Kaoru didn't know what to say to her friend or Kenshin. She contemplated the different scenarios that would play out on Monday.

"If I say 'No' to him, he might become distant from me. I mean…I really don't want that. I do…like him, but what about mom and dad? If I say 'Yes' than…than…that's major trouble for me!" She continued to rack her brains at the thought of Kenshin and her dating.

Misao interrupted her friend's thoughts, "Kaoru! Damnit, it's not like you guys are gonna' be HUMPING already!"

"SHIT MISAO! Why don't you just go and announce that to my parents downstairs", Kaoru shushed her…again!

Misao rolled her eyes and kept on, "Oh please! They're too old to know what humping is! LOL!"

"Argh…I can just picture them listening to this downstairs and wondering what the hell humping is!" Kaoru had to stop herself from cracking up.

"Alright, alright, alright, I'll give it some serious thought. Okay?"

"WAIT…you mean you're not even gonna' tell ME?" Misao squeaked back.

An evil grin passed on Kaoru's lips, "Nope!"

"You little whore!"

It went on like that for a while. Misao continued to nag Kaoru about her answer and final decision. Kaoru smiled smugly as she continued to change the subject.

In all reality, not even Kaoru was sure of her answer. She just wanted to feel in control of something in her life and holding information from Misao worked perfectly. Sure she felt a bit guilty at making her friend suffer so much, but Misao was the one who tricked Kaoru into the evening out with Kenshin in the first place. And if there had been no Kenshin or Sano, Kaoru wouldn't have gotten drunk, and she wouldn't have had to deal with this.

Eventually Misao had to return home and getting no further response from her friend, the small girl left defeated.

The afternoon had turned to evening and Kaoru was relaxing in her room as her mother prepared for work. Yahiko had returned home from his friends' house and his mother prompted him to shower and eat before retiring to bed for the next school day. Kaoru made sure to check over his homework and scolded him for his sloppy handwriting for English class. He merely stuck his tongue out at her and called her a "snot" and she proceeded to smack him with a pillow. After he'd settled in his bed and their mother was satisfied with both her children being safe at home, she made her way down the stairs ready for work. She hustled around for her purse and shoes, as Kaoru retrieved a light jacket and followed her down the stairs.

Her mother was giving her the usual instructions: "Lock up tight, don't stay up too late, take care of your brother, and get some rest for school tomorrow". Kaoru was nodding at every statement because she'd already memorized the routine by now. Just as her mother turned the lock to open the door, a muffled noise came from the dark living room behind them.

"LEAVE MY MONEY ON THE TABLE…" and it trailed off as Kaoru and her mother stared at each other.

Her mother spoke up in response, "Don't go out in the middle of the night in your condition. There is a bottle in the kitchen for you and try to eat the rest of the food."

They waited for a response, and got none. Only more muffled noises as he made his way into the kitchen in search of his cache.

Kaoru's mom sighed and looked apologetically at her daughter. "Don't worry about him. Just make sure the house is locked up and go to bed on time! Don't forget to check the back door okay?"

Kaoru nodded and shut and locked the door securely after her mother. She turned to go upstairs, but remembered about the back door.

Walking softly into the kitchen, she jiggled the door handle to make sure it was locked. She then turned to leave, when suddenly she heard her father in the living room, "THAT BITCH. BITCH! She left me BEER?"

She froze instantly and didn't make another sound. Fearing that he might realize she was still around, Kaoru cautiously decided to make her way in the hallway and headed towards the staircase. All she wanted to do was make to the semi-safe haven of her room and lock herself in. But fate was not on her side.

"KAORU! Call your mother at work! Do you know where she put her money?"

He was talking belligerently but he still knew that the light beer wouldn't satisfy his appetite. He was like a starving predator and was getting more and more aggravated for his next meal.

Kaoru mustered up some courage and replied, "She…" her voice went dry in her throat as she swallowed hard and tried again, "She went to work already, she's probably not even there yet."

There was silence in the house. The air hung still around her as the darkness of the living room seemed more like an endless cave. Suddenly his form pierced the darkness and he stood before her.

He reeked of vomit and dirt since the last time he showered was when his wife probably forced him to. His hair was disheveled and the gray was evident around the edges as it invaded the darker ones. The wife beater he wore, which was supposed to white, was more of a musty, dirty color and his dark sweatpants were stained with dried vomit. The clothes seemed to hang off of him, and Kaoru guessed he'd lost more weight from not eating enough.

She looked at his face, which was scrunched up in a frown. There were heavy bags under his eyes, but they could never match those of her mothers. His lips were dry and cracked and he was unshaven. The bread's stubble grew back in gray and white shades against his face. The only thing that seemed preserved were his fierce eyes. The same eyes that threatened her life only yesterday. The light brown in them resembled those of a lion's as he looked down at her with anger.

"I know she left you money. Give me some money now!" he demanded. The sickening smell from his mouth wafted down to her and she kept control over her stomach from turning over.

"Dad…I…" all she wanted to do was go into her room and sleep. All she dreamed of was going through a single week, month, or year without this man making their lives a living hell. Her childhood was plagued with the same despair, and now that her mother gave her daughter money to have on her "just incase" she too had become his victim. She was too tired to argue and the last thing she wanted was to call her mother at work. "She just got there. I can't call her with this shit already. She won't be able to work in peace. At least at work she can be away from him".

Making up her mind, Kaoru nodded at him and told him to wait. He said nothing and returned to the darkness of his room. She climbed the stairs and went to her room. Going straight to her purse, she pulled out a few bills from her wallet. After counting them, she headed back downstairs.

As she made her way into the hallway, she noticed her younger brother's form in the dimly light hallway. If not for the nightlight, she probably wouldn't have seen him there. He looked tired and confused at the screaming he heard from downstairs. Kaoru went to him and guided him back into his room and tucked him under his covers once more. She gently shushed him to sleep and told him not to worry, but she was only trying to convince herself again.

As she continued to look down on her sleepy younger brother, his voice boomed through the house once more, "KAORU!"

She shot up from Yahiko's side and hurried out the little boys' room, shutting the door behind her. She ran down the stairs and found her father already sloppily dressed in the same sweats and a button down flannel shirt with a light jacket over it. He wore his old dress shoes with no socks, and the mismatched ensemble made him look like a complete bum. To hide his unkempt hair, he donned a baseball cap and kept it lowered over his eyes.

Kaoru handed him the skimp wad of bills in his outstretched hand and placed it in his palm. He clumsily handled the money for a moment as he counted it. He looked at her in disgust at the small amount and nodded in defiance as he spoke, "I see how your mother treats me like a dog! She'll get what's coming to her!"

Not a word passed through her lips as she saw him grab his house keys and unlock the front door. He disappeared through the doorway and into the night leaving the door slightly ajar behind him. This was a habit of his, since he really didn't care about more than getting to the nearest grocery or liquor store and getting his booze. So many times the family came home to unlocked doors and had to enter in sheer terror incase robbers had taken advantage of the situation. But he didn't care anymore.

Kaoru shut and locked the door behind him and silently walked up the stairs as if in a daze. Her thoughts, her emotions, everything was dark. She checked on Yahiko who had now already fallen back asleep, and went into her own bedroom. At first she climbed wearily into her bed, but as soon as she had lain back, all sleep left her.

She stared at the ceiling, then at some inanimate object in her room, and finally out the window. Her mind raced with a million thoughts, as she finally turned to check what time it was. "Damn, almost 11 pm. I'll have to be awake for school soon enough." Suddenly her mind went to the sweet red head she would see tomorrow. He'd want an answer to his question, and Kaoru was still shaken up by her father. Her life seemed to go from bad to worse at times and she was always anticipating the next depressing event that would happen. Usually it almost always would have to do with her father.

There were times when she'd wish for the worst-case scenario. She thought about how much easier their lives would be without the oppressive man. "He should just die", she would think out of anger and hate. But then what about her mother? Even through the hardships the woman had endured because of her husband, she remained loyal and by his side through it all. He cursed her, hit her, tortured her mentally and emotionally, but she was still his ever faithful wife. Kaoru couldn't be any more proud of her mother's strength and determination. Until now Kaoru never thought about her future other than school and a career. Because of her mother's strength and hard work to provide them with everything that she could afford to buy, Kaoru wanted to be able to stand up on her own two feet. She wanted to be able to become a professional in the medical field and in turn assist her mother when the time came for retirement. So busy she'd become with school, assignments, and living through the tortures at home, that the possibility of finding a soul mate completely eluded her.

"Wait, Kenshin is NOT my soul mate…well at least I don't know…it's too early … Argh! I can't think straight!" She looked back at the time, 11:23 pm. "Where is he? It's been almost half and hour!"

Suddenly the telephone broke through her thoughts and pierced the silence of the house. Kaoru jumped at the noise and rushed over to the tabletop and answered it.

"Kaoru, is your father home yet?" it was her mother and she sounded extremely stressed. The constant flow of customers and registers also came through from the other end as Kaoru focused on her mother's question.

"Ah, n-no mom. He's not. What happened?"

"He came in here demanding money. I was so embarrassed you know. He practically looked like he was homeless or something and I just knew he'd make a scene if I didn't give him some money. I dragged him outside and gave him some cash and told him to leave immediately. He can't do this on my JOB you know!" The woman sounded more distressed than usual and Kaoru could sense the tension on her voice.

"I know mom. He…I gave him some money. He was cursing about the beer and stuff." Just then she heard the door downstairs and went into the hallway with the phone still on her ears.

"Wait…I think he's home mom. Lemme' check."

Kaoru made her way half way down the staircase and saw the man taking off his cap and jacket. He then removed his shoes and cradling a brown bag in his hands, he moved into the living room.

"Mom, he's home."

"God help that man! He came in here looking like hell in front of my crew. How can they look at their manager with any dignity knowing her house affairs practically follow her to work?" Kaoru's mother sounded on the verge of tears and Kaoru silently made her way to her room.

"I know mom, just please don't stress okay?"

"I'm okay Kaoru. You should be asleep. It's about a quarter to 12 already. Go to bed now. Just…check the front door locks. Last time he left the entire house open to thieves."

"I will mom, don't worry" and she promptly hung up as tears flowed down her cheeks. She didn't want her mom to hear the pain and misery in her own voice. It was now a habit for Kaoru to hide the tears from her mother. It would only bring her more pain and stress. The woman had enough to think about and worry over.

Kaoru checked the locks quickly and ran back upstairs before she'd have to confront the man again. She climbed into her bed as tears still trickled down her face.

"One day, I'll be able to sleep in peace. We all will. There will be no more tears for us. Please give us strength to make it through this. Please help us all."

Kaoru wasn't the type to rely on the fantastic powers of the God's in which her mother so heavily relied on for strength. But there was no other mortal being on the face of the planet that could help them, it seemed not even their God could help them.

--------------------FLASHBACK------------------------

---------KAORU, AGE 10 IN THE OLD APARTMENT----------

She sat with her legs crossed on top of the bed and the warm blanket draped over her small shoulders. Her mother had arranged sleeping quarters in the living room again since her father insisted on locking himself up in the only bedroom that day. The room was dark except for the hallway light that shown through the doorway.

Kaoru looked over to the couch where her younger brother was slumbering soundly. The house was dark and deafly silent. Not a single sound was heard throughout, except for the howling wind outside. The wind made her feel colder and she shuddered under the blanket for warmth. There was no snow on the ground, and she remembered the man on TV saying how it would be a snow-less, barren Christmas Day.

It was Christmas Eve at her house, but there was no feeling of joy or merriment. There was no lavishly decorated Christmas tree. There were no presents piled up in stacks for them to rummage through early the next morning. There would be no visitors, no carolers, no family, and no friends.

Her father was drinking again, she knew this. Even at her young age Kaoru knew all too well what was going on in her house. But she didn't know why it was happening to them. Earlier that day, she saw the family that lived next door to them all pile into their car and drive off probably to a relative's home for a party. Kaoru had looked out the window and her gaze followed each of the family members.

There were the three young children whom she often played with. They were each decked out in their finest party wear and bundled up with layers of winter outerwear: coats, scarves, gloves, and hats. Their mom looked beautiful in her long, elegant party dress. Her hair was done up and she wore a beautiful, long, black wool coat. Then Kaoru looked at their father. He was smiling and laughing with his children. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she knew they must be having the best time. She could've sworn even through the glass she had heard their laughter. It was music to her ears. A small family, all happy, all together, on Christmas Eve. Her heart ached for such times. She had always seen such things on the TV, in movies, or in other families. Always in others, never her own family.

She sat there now, still staring into the darkness outside the window for a moment. As if still being able to see the same family and hear their laughter, Kaoru looked out with her small head titled to the side. Her small hands cradled a little snow globe. It was the size of a small orange and the scene inside warmed her heart.

It was Santa Clause in his sleigh. He was perched in front of a few small homes and trees, and looked ready to take off. When she shook the little, glass globe the scene danced with 'snow'. She remembered her teachers telling them about the jolly, fat man. How he made the wishes of children all over the world come true. But only for good children and Kaoru thought hard about that.

The little girl glanced over at the time, '10 pm'. She had made up her mind that evening. Even though they had no tree, no presents, and no party, Kaoru would stay awake all night and when Santa came she would ask him for something.

'I've been a good girl all year long. I did good in school and I help mommy a lot too. Sometimes I fight with Yahiko, but I'll tell Santa that he starts it most of the time!' Her thoughts raced to exactly how she would tell Santa what she truly wanted. Looking down at the globe, she shook it for the hundredth time and thought.

She didn't want presents or candies or even a beautiful tree. Even though for as long as she could remember, every year she'd wished they would have a tree. No! She would ask Santa for something even more important.

'I will ask Santa to make my daddy stop drinking and for us to be a happy family. Yes! That's what I'll tell him. Santa, I don't want candies or cake, gifts or toys. Just please make my daddy love us again and stop drinking.' Her bright blue eyes filled with tears at the thought of her father. 'Why does he always drink just in time for special days like Christmas?'

Several minutes passed and she looked at the time again, '10:45 pm'.

'I guess Santa will come at 12 o'clock exactly'. The little girl knew it was against protocol for her to stay up and wait for the man. In all the stories she'd heard, he'd come through chimneys and secretly left presents behind. 'But we have no chimney, and without a tree, how will he know where to leave the presents? Besides, I don't want presents! I know what I want to ask him already!'


The time slipped by as she continued to wait and stare at the snow globe in her hands. She turned it every which way and kept looking at the image of the man in red. She wondered if he'd really look like that, but she wasn't afraid or nervous. This little girl knew exactly what she wanted and she was determined to ask him for it.

'11:30…oh it's almost time!' she thought with excitement. 'I will ask Santa for my Dad to be better again, and everything will be perfect. Mom will be so happy and we can all sit and have a nice Christmas together.

She didn't make a sound as she continued to sit in her bed and play with the snow globe. Looking up at the time, she smiled, '11:45 pm!'

Suddenly it hit her, 'how will Santa get inside?' She knew the old man had powers and all, but she didn't want to take any chances. So she crept softly out of her bed and started walking out of the living room. The floor in the hallway was colder than usual and she hated the way her feet felt on top of the bitter hard surface.

'I'll wait by the window', she'd decided. Still clutching the snow globe, she crept next to the window and settled onto the floor. She was so cold, and hugged herself for warmth. The howling wind seemed to permeate through the glass window and she felt chills running down her spine.

'11:51, any minute now' and she began to search the clear night's sky for the image in the snow globe.

'11:55 he's probably going to be right on time.'

'11:59' she felt her muscles tense up as she continued to look into dark sky.

'12 o'clock! Oh my gosh!' The little girl quivering silently with excitement. She looked everywhere outside: the streets, the sidewalk, and towards the sky again.

All was silent as ever.

'Maybe our time is fast. Yeah! Mom always set's the clocks so fast!' her thoughts cheered once more as she continued to look anxiously about her for the answer to her prayers. 'Where are you?'

No one answered in response.

A single tear rolled down her face as she continued to look up out the window. The snow globe was still held firmly in her grasp, as she looked back at the clock, '12:43 am'.

She walked back to her warm bed and curled her cold form under the covers. She could not longer sit on the cold hard floor and stay pressed against the freezing window glass. Her head resting on the soft pillow, and she allowed all the tears to flood down her face. She continued to stare at the snow globe and at the magical man's image inside.

'He's not coming. No one is coming.'

Christmas carols that she'd heard in her class played in her head as she fell asleep crying.

--------------------END FLASHBACK------------------------

------BACK IN THE PRESNT DAY WITH THE OLDER KAORU IN HER BED -------

She fell asleep with her thoughts still on her family, her life, on Kenshin, and the approaching day.

"There has to be more to this life."

END CHAPTER 8

Hey All!

Special thanks go out to Onhiro and ENJ! Thanks guys for reviewing!

Onhiro, I'm glad you like Kenshin's persona! I love the wondering Rurouniin the series, but sometimes you just want him to stop feeling so sorry for himself and just admit his love for Kaoru! That's one of the reasons why I made him a bit more…let's say…proactive or assertive! LOL!

ENJ you're the best! Thanks so much for the wonderful review and for your understanding on the direction and pace of the fic.

As for this chappy, I know it took a bit of a darker turn towards the end and it was longer than usual. But I didn't want to stray too far away from Kaoru's family troubles. Her entire persona is molded around her experiences as a child and young adult growing up with an alcoholic parent. So it was important for me to return to that and show exactly how torturous her family life can be.

Believe me, when I say that I purposely make her interactions with her friends more playful and light. She's not the type of girl that gets down on herself outside of her home even though there are such horrible things going on. She's always laughing, smiling, joking around and seemingly being normal with her friends. And no one knows what's really going on inside. That's the strong side of her character and I hope you guys are able to see that! If not, then let me know!

I hope that flashback sequence wasn't too confusing. If so, than let me explain. It started off with Kaoru settling into bed after her father returned home from going to her mother's job and harassing her for money. Kaoru was thinking about her life and all the painful memories of the past, that's when the flashback begins. Finally, after the flashback, we're back to Kaoru still laying in bed, thinking about her family, friends, and Kenshin and then falling asleep.

As for the upcoming chappys, I promise all the Kenshin lovers that he will be playing a larger part in the fic. This fic started out as a way for me to just write about certain real-life drama's going on around me, but it's turned into more. Your reviews are wonderful and I appreciate your encouragement greatly! Now I not only want to write for my personal reasons, but to keep you guys entertained. Thanks for being a part of my inspiration!

Arrigato!