Chapter 9

Because It's All the Same

Monday was a new beginning. Kaoru noticed her room was cooler than usual and suspected the fading summer and approaching autumn for the change. She loved the fall because of the beautiful colors of the leaves, cool winds, and mild temperatures. It was never too hot or too cold, just perfect.

She'd awoken at her usual time of about 6 am and started her morning routine of showering, changing, and making sure Yahiko was up. Her mother would send the young boy off to school, but he always needed an extra push in the mornings just to get out of his bed.

All morning Kaoru performed her rituals absentmindedly. Her thoughts were on the approaching meeting with Kenshin. As if it had never known another pace, her heart refused to slow down. It thumped away in her chest and she'd felt her stomach go into knots the moment she'd opened her eyes.

Kaoru slipped into her uniform and before heading downstairs for a quick breakfast, she lingered a few moments longer in front of the mirror. She made sure her hair was well groomed and gathered it into a high, perky pony tail. A blue silk ribbon adorned the top. Her bangs were smoothed with extra care and they framed her face perfectly. She wore her favorite tinted lip gloss and splashed on a few spritzes of her vanilla and jasmine body spray.

She looked at her image for a moment and was more than satisfied with the results.

Her stomach truly was in knots and she finally decided she had lost her appetite for breakfast. She gave Yahiko a few more warnings to wake up before their mother arrived home from work, as she gathered her books and school bag. He groaned a few times under the covers and finally woke up and dragged himself into the bathroom.

Kaoru checked her watch and knew it was time to head out the door. "Misao will be jumping up and down until I get there. Then she'll jump down my throat asking me about I'm going to say to Kenshin."

Last night's events had disrupted her thoughts from the red head. She had woken up just as confused as she had gone to bed. "I wonder…how he'll act today?"

Kenshin was always the jovial one around school. He had a quality about him that was nothing short of magnetic. The way he spoke, his light-hearted attitude, and his presence exuded confidence. Kaoru never understood how someone could be so much like one of the boys, and turn around and be the total sweetheart he was to her on Saturday. Sure she didn't recall every single detail, but she did remember the scene in his car. "He was so worried about me. Even Misao said it. Why though?"

She walked downstairs and put on her shoes in silence. Her mind still was racing about the upcoming meeting with Kenshin. As her mother entered through the front door, right at her usual time, Kaoru barely noticed. She idly said good morning then good bye to her mother and walked out.

Kaoru walked in deep thought to her normal meeting spot with Misao. "Kenshin… I have no answer yet. Argh. What if…what if he's like every other guy?"

Never the one to casually date, Kaoru scoffed at the thought of Kenshin having been in probably a ton of previous relationships with girls. "He can't be that good looking, that rich, and that outgoing, without having had some serious relationships before! Where does he really think it will go with us?" She knew Kenshin wasn't a complete jerk, otherwise he'd wouldn't have been so tender with her. But that didn't mean she trusted him completely.

Her thoughts flip-flopped around and she didn't even notice when she'd arrived at her meeting spot with Misao. As expected, the green-eyed girl was already waiting on Kaoru more impatient than usual.

Without a greeting or good morning, she started, "SO? What're you gonna' say to him?"

"Morning to you too Misao" Kaoru stated sarcastically as she continued to walk past the girl.

"HEY! You're still not gonna' tell me Kaoru? That's not fair you know! I mean, you asked me my opinion, the least you can do is give me a heads up on what you finally decided." Misao rushed and caught up to her friend.

"Misao…I…really don't know yet."

The shorter girl looked at her with disbelief.

"Ummm, you DON'T know? Is that what you're gonna' tell him?"

"NO! Of course not! I just…I really do like him, but…this is a huge step for me. I mean I never even really had a crush on a guy. And now THIS…and I don't even know him that well. Besides…why me? There are a ton of girls at school that'd jump on him at any moment. Why me?"

Misao quieted down as she seemed to be in deep thought. Kaoru wondered what the mischievous little girl was pondering about. "Another hair-brained scheme no doubt!"

"Kaoru, you should give it a chance." Misao's tone was soft as she tried to make her friend understand the reasoning, "he's seems to really be into you. He was nothing but sweet and caring on Saturday night. Even when you slapped the crap outta' him! I mean what other guy like that puts up with that shit? Any other guy wouldn't have cared even if you were drunk. He would've just walked away or something."

"Ep! Did I slap him that hard?"

Misao continued, "And like I said before, you need to really grow up a bit. For god sake's woman you need to date a bit. I mean I KNOW you're looking for freakin' Prince Charming and shit, but this isn't a fairy tale. You need to at least give this a try."

She listened to her friends reasoning closely. And surprisingly, Misao made no other attempts at finding out Kaoru's answer after she'd finished. Kaoru was surprised to hear no further arguments from her friend, and noticed that they were approaching the main gates of the school.

"She's right, this isn't a fairy tale. My life is far from that. But what she doesn't take into consideration is my father! I…can't deal with all of the nonsense at home, and deal with Kenshin. Damn, why me?"

Her heart raced faster and harder in her chest. She felt her palms grow sweaty and the blood drain from her limbs. The mild, September morning left her hands freezing cold and sent shivers down her spine.

The yard was full with the usual crowd of high schoolers, and the two girls made their way through it towards Sano and his group. Sano immediately turned when he noticed them approaching.

"Well, well, if it isn't our little Missy! Still think you can out drink me?" and he proceeded to laugh.

"Argh put a sock in it Sano. You practically had the girl split her head open on the table. If it wasn't for YOU she wouldn't have been so wasted in the first place." Misao yelled so loudly at Sano, that a few other students turned in their direction and listened in on the screaming match.

Kaoru felt ashamed as some of them probably figured what the conversation was about, and who had been the one to get drunk. She glared at the two and wished they would shut up.

"I didn't see YOU stopping her either shrimp! In fact I recall you adding a few words of encouragement! Go Kaoru…Show him what you're made of!" Sano purposely did a poor imitation of Misao.

"OKAY YOU TWO! God! Shut up, I don't need the entire student body to know my business!" Kaoru interrupted just as Sano and Misao got nose to nose with each other. Sano of course had to bend down to even be at Misao's level.

Both stared dumbly at the girl and proceeded to call a temporary truce of silence.

"So Missy, you didn't get in trouble or anything right?" Sano asked.

"No I was okay by the time…by the time um Kenshin dropped me home" she practically fought a blush at the thought.

"Yea that was pretty nice of him. Considering…you know…you slapping him and all!" Sano grinned.

Kaoru's jaw dropped, "Argh! SANO! I didn't mean to! I mean…I didn't realize…" she stuttered. "Shit…I slapped him hard huh?"

Sano laughed aloud, "yea Missy! You cracked him a good one across the face. I mean if it would've been me…well, let's just say no GIRL is gonna get away with something like that!"

Kaoru felt horrible! She'd slapped the boy and now Sano was making her feel terrible about it. She tried to recall the events that had led up to it. "Wait a minute…" she realized something important.

"Hey Sano you jerk! He kissed me! So I slapped him. There's nothing wrong with that" Kaoru shot back.

Sano raised an eyebrow at the statement and was amazed at the girl's unabashed attitude.

"Whatever Missy, here he comes now. You can deal with him yourself, especially since you can stand up straight now!" Sano quipped.

Kaoru turned around still blazing with anger at the accusations, when she set her sight on the red head making his way through the crowd. He was greeting everyone he recognized and she was amazed at how many friends he'd made in such a short time. The grin on his face exuded confidence, but also warmth. She was frozen in place, all the anger leaving her as she continued to look at him. A few girls came up and spoke to him about how his weekend was and other random things to try and get his attention. He smiled back at them and answered, but kept moving towards Kaoru.

He got closer to her group and locked eyes with her. Caught ogling him Kaoru spun around to face Sano and Misao. Her was back towards him, but she could still feel his gaze burning into her.

Suddenly she was dizzy, anxious, cold, hot, scared, nervous…every emotion coursed through her. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

Kenshin came up from behind her and smiled sweetly down at her as he stood next to her. She noticed his perfect clear amethyst eyes and blushed at his perfect grin.

"How are you Kaoru?" he asked. His voice made every fiber of her quiver and his soft tone made her legs feel like jello.

"Ah…morning Kenshin, I-I'm fine" was all she could muster in response.

He continued to smile at her. Would he ask her about her answer? Or was he waiting for her to say something first? She still had no answer for him, and felt completely lost at the sight of him.

They said nothing to each other for several seconds. He had continued to look at her in silence, inviting her to speak first. But her voice was caught in her throat. Finally, Kenshin turned and greeted Misao and Sano. The two boys shook hands and starting to chat about some car Sano was planning on buying. He wanted Kenshin to come with him to take a look at it later, and they continued on about the model, year, etc.

Kaoru looked over at her friend Misao, who in turn smiled confidently back at her. Kaoru was confused though, "Why is he acting like nothing happened?"

The red head seemed to have greeted her as if it were any other day. As if there had been no Saturday. Kaoru suddenly felt great distance between them.

Anger welled up inside her as it dawned on her, "You're so stupid! He probably felt sorry for you and said a few nice words. And you go and think the boy actually likes YOU! Keh! Nonsense. He can have any girl in this entire school, why would be want YOU?"

She felt stupid, berated, and utterly confused. "Who does he think he IS?" She looked back over at him standing with Sano and the other group of guys. A few girls walked up to them and began to add in their own comments. Kenshin didn't seem affected, but she noticed he did nothing to stop it.

Kaoru looked at Misao and began to walk off before she could suffer in front of him any longer. The petite girl quickly followed after her, leaving a confused Kenshin behind.

"Where'd she go in such a hurry?" he asked Sano.

Sano merely shrugged in bewilderment.

During the rest of the day, Kaoru and Kenshin continued to play the same game with each other. He would look at her while she went out of her way to ignore him, and she would do the same. Kaoru saw him speaking other girls in the class and it had set her on fire! "Little…argh!" She saw him laughing, smiling and chuckling with the "LITTLE WHORES" and couldn't understand why she felt so strongly.

It seemed so easy for him to just take up with the others, "especially other GIRLS!" Kaoru wasn't exactly anti-social, and chatted unnecessarily with her other classmates as well just to show him that she didn't need to talk to him. Yet during every class, at almost every moment, she let her eyes wonder to the sight of him.

She had no words to express her anger, but it was her pain that she had more trouble hiding. "He doesn't even seem like the same Kenshin from Saturday".

Misao pleaded with her to go over and talk to Kenshin, but being stubborn, prideful, and hot-headed, Kaoru refused. "If he has something to say, he'll come over".

Finally the school day ended and Kaoru's heart felt heavy. Her anger had given way to frustration, and now there was nothing but disappointment. "How could I think that he would want to…to…go out with me?"

Misao had cut out early from the rest of classes and snuck off to see her boyfriend Aoshi. The green-eyed little girl was excited to see her love and Kaoru warned her not to make a habit of running off from school like that. Misao vehemently promised her friend that it would be "just this one time".

"Sure it will" Kaoru thought.

Kaoru took her time in packing up after her last class and even managed to make up a good excuse to discuss some assignment with the professor. She wanted to make sure and not run into Kenshin afterwards. Or at the very least, she wanted to avoid seeing him with another girl. The pain and confusion that was left behind from his actions all day, was too much for her to handle at the moment. All she could think of was going home and sinking into her bed in peace.

The hallways of her school seemed otherworldly without the bustle of dozens of teenagers walking about. She walked casually down the familiar paths as she was in no rush to get anywhere in particular. Her meeting with the professor had ended, and she was grateful to walk in silence.

Her thoughts consumed her so thoroughly that she didn't even notice how loudly she was mumbling to herself, "Stupid boys! Such a damn waste of time..." and on she went.

As she stepped outside into the afternoon, the school yard had already cleared of the regular crowds. The beautiful clear sky seemed to invite her to take a long, leisurely walk through the park on her way home. She wanted nothing more than to forget her current worries and forget about Kenshin.

Kaoru began descending the main entrance stairs of her school when she was momentarily blinded a bright reflection in her eyes. She shaded her vision with her free hand and looked ahead to see the bright silver car that cast the reflection to her. "Great…" she groaned.

It was same silver Z3 that she hoped on not seeing, but then there it was, right in front of her. And there he was, leaning on the fender of the car and facing her. He had his arms crossed in front of him and seemed to be listening to the music coming from the convertible before he looked up and noticed her. She saw him smile and cringed at the fact that he purposely waited on her.

"Keh! SMILING? What a jerk! After ignoring me ALL day!"

Kaoru continued to walk through the yard and noticed Kenshin crossing the street towards her as she exited from the front gates.

He walked up to her and smiled, "Hey".

"HEY? That's all he has to say? Hey? Son of a…"

"How're you feeling Kaoru?"

She let out an irritated sigh, "Fine! You asked me that already remember?"

He seemed surprised at her curt reply, but regained his composure.

"On your way home? Ah, I'll give you a ride!" he offered.

"No thanks, it's a nice day and I think I'll walk through the park" she started walking off.

"Well in that case, I'll walk with you!"

She didn't expect that from him. "Doesn't miss a beat does he? Well, he's probably had so much practice from all the other girls". Her thoughts were bitter and filled with resentment.

"Hold on a minute okay?" and he ran off towards his car. She saw him climb inside and fiddle with a few controls before the top and windows went up and the engine shut off. He ran back over to her while pressing the armed button on his keypad to lock the car. She noticed the way he smiled at her, as if she wasn't even mad at him. Or maybe her being mad didn't affect him?

"Okay, shall we?" he grinned.

Another sigh and Kaoru began walking along side him. They walked several moments in silence as the park entrance neared. She had nothing to say to him. What could she say? "By the way sorry for getting drunk and slapping you? Sorry for thinking you liked me? Argh. Why is he here?"

"Kaoru," his voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked over towards him, "ah, are you mad at me or something?"

Kaoru wanted to fall over in exasperation. Was she mad? How could he ask such a question? She decided to stop the games once and for all, she was angry, frustrated, hurt, and by now she knew what to say to him.

"Kenshin, I'm sorry about Saturday. I…I appreciate you lookin' out for me and all, and thank you for the ride home. Sano said I umm…may have behaved badly with you, and so … sorry about that too!"

He looked at her and smiled, "Kaoru, it was no trouble at all. I guess I shouldn't have let you drink so much. When you accepted Sano's challenge, I assumed you'd had a few drinks in your life." He let out a chuckle and continued, "but if I'd have known you were gonna' wasted, I wouldn't have let it get that far."

She stayed silent. "Please don't ask about going out, please don't ask about going out…"

"Kaoru, do you remember anything from that night?"

His voice had seemed so inquisitive and for the first time, she thought she heard a twinge of uncertainty in it.

"Ah no. Well…sort of, but it's all really hazy. I guess I must've really been out of it." She felt slightly guilty about lying to him outright, but wanted to see where he was going with the conversation.

He seemed perfectly confused.

"Why do you ask?"

"Ah well…" he laughed. "Kaoru, I…umm…I had asked you…about something…and…ah…damn you don't even remember though huh?" His voice was strained, as if it really bothered him that she didn't remember.

Kaoru stopped in her tracks and looked down at her feet. They stood in the middle of a wide dirt path that wound through the park. Faint noises of children at play filled the air, but everything was drowned out by her thoughts. The breeze gently wisped by and carried freshly fallen leaves with it. The sun had begun its descent, but with the absence of any clouds in the sky, it still cast its bright rays down on the earth. How perfect that moment felt to her: a bright, beautiful day and the serenity all around her. But her moment of peace passed quickly as she returned to reality.

She stood at a crossroads in her life and knew the painful decision she had to make. Misao was right, but she was not Misao. She had to deal with more than just school, exams, and friends.

Her ebony bangs shielded teary blue eyes from his sight as she took in and let out a deep breath. That had helped give her the strength she needed to say what she needed to say to him and hide her pain.

Kenshin had walked up a few steps before noticing her sudden stop. He turned around and looked back at her and waited for her to speak.

"Kenshin…we…I…I'm sorry. But we can't do this." Her heart pounded louder, "you know the situation with my…my father, and…I just don't want to get you involved. My dad won't stand for it, and…and I'm sorry to say, but I don't think you'd be able to handle the drama with him."

She fought hard not to cry and felt herself grow angry over the images of Kenshin and the other girls laughing and giggling all day in school. "I don't know why you…wanted to go out with me, but I'm not like everyone else. Those other girls in school…they…they adore you, and you love the attention. You can have anyone of them. I don't want your pity or charity! So please…let's just leave it where it is with us."

She heard no sound come from him, and looked up. He stood in silence, his arms at his sides and he continued to stare at her in disbelief. The warm color of his eyes picked up the light and shown brighter towards her. His hair was pulled back in a low pony tail, and blew in the breeze. The winds carried his spicy sent to her nose, and she fought back every urge to break down.

"Kaoru…" he started softly, "I…I don't understand. I don't pity you…I…I like you. I didn't ask you all this out of charity…"

Before he could finish, Kaoru interrupted. She raised her voice out of frustration and glared at him. "You just don't understand Kenshin, that's just it! It's not your fault, no one understands, and I don't expect them to. You…you're used to having girlfriends and changing them every time something goes wrong. But that's not me. I…I don't need anyone in my life for no reason. I can't be in meaningless relationships just with anyone and go from one person to another…there's too much at stake for me. I'm sorry to drag you into my drama, but please…just…just know that I can't be like every other girl that you've met. I can't be the girl you expect and are used to."

He said nothing.

"I…I don't know what else to say, except I'd still like to be your friend and I…I appreciate you listening to me on Saturday and putting up with my crap. Thank you for that!"

She waited silently for a response from him. Her heart felt like it was about to jump out of her chest. Feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and anger surged through her.

He crossed his arms across his chest and looked to his right, refusing to meet her eyes any longer. The expression on his face wasn't of sadness, or hurt, or even confusion. He simply looked out into park and the tone in his voice made her think that he was giving her one last chance to accept, "I can't change your mind can I Kaoru?"

"Be strong Kaoru, be strong" she chanted to herself, while gathering the last of her resolve.

"I'm sorry Kenshin", she softly replied.

With those last words she walked past him and continued down the dirt path of the park. She could no longer stand to be so near him and not jump into his arms, but she knew that would only hurt her in the end.

She was angry at him for being so damn smug but then she had admired him before because of his cordiality. He was cocky and that had irritated her, but his confidence had intoxicated her as well. She scoffed at the thought that she'd allowed herself to be caught off guard by him. The memories of being in his arms as she had confessed everything to him in his car tormented her. He'd seemed different from everyone else, but no, it was all the same. He'd proved that this morning and throughout the day.

"He's like every other guy Kaoru. Your Prince Charming just doesn't exist."

The thought weakened her momentarily as tears silently slid down her face. She was happy and sad that the he didn't follow after her. "He didn't come after me. Why did I expect him to? Argh Kaoru you still think he'd come after you? Stupid girl!"

She continued to walk alone, her thoughts consuming her, "It's over".

END CHAPTER 9

Oh man, you romantics out there are going to hate me after reading this chapter! LOL

Sorry about leaving it like this, but I just couldn't give our lovable characters a happy ending just yet. There are many other little bits and pieces that I want to explore first.

I want to thank ENAJ for all the support! I agree about Kaoru. I wanted to make her a happy-go-lucky type of character no matter what she was going through. And her mother was the source of that characteristic.

Onhiro, I'm glad you like the fic so far. Kaoru's life truly isn't easy, and the stuff going on her house, shouldn't be endured by anyone! Hope I can live up to your fondness for the fic.

So I know I flip flopped around in this chappy. It started out and she truly was anxious about seeing Kenshin, and if things had gone differently, she probably would've said yes to him. I was leaning in that direction, but I think that would've been completely gone against Kaoru's nature. She was raised with deceptions in her life, her father being unreliable and so on. So how could she just trust this brooding little Casanova that just moved in? And I promise to explain from Kenshin's POV exactly why he had behaved so passé with Kaoru! Well…everything happens for a reason right? And who said love was easy? Especially finding it!

Hope you all enjoyed the chappy, and the next one will be up as soon as possible, promise!

Please continue to review and tell me what you think so far. Much love to you all!

-Arrigato!