Chapter 18
Chris looked around, hoping no one he knew would suddenly just pop up out of nowhere and spot him. He'd gotten this far unseen, and it would be quite a disappointment if he got caught when he was this close to reaching his destination. He looked around again and then saw that he was there. He knocked twice on the door and waited for the person he was going to see to answer.
A second later, he was pulled into the hotel room by his shirt, and Stephanie practically pounced on him, pressing her lips to his and making him fall against the now-closed door. He reached behind him with one hand to lock the door, then put his arms around her and kissed her back. She pulled away after a while and hugged him tightly, something she had been waiting to do all day since she'd last talked to him in the car.
"Damn, that was quite the welcome," he said, panting a little and hugging her back. "Mind telling me what I did to deserve that?"
"You came to my office and apologized for calling me a bitch even after I slapped you, and you woke me up when I fell asleep in my office, and you gave me a ride to the hotel even though you didn't have to, and..." Her voice trailed off as she pulled back a little to kiss him again before she continued. "...and you've been here for me and made me feel needed and wanted even when my...even when he wouldn't."
"Well I didn't mean for you to tell me everything that I've ever done for you in our...relationship, but speaking of him, where is he?" he asked, looking around the room as if expecting Hunter to step out of the bathroom at any moment. "Is he in here?"
"No, and he won't be here anytime while we're in this city," she said, pulling away and walking over to the couch. She sat down and beckoned him over, and when he sat down next to her, she leaned against him and repeated what she'd said. "He won't be here."
"Why won't he be here? Did he have to go back to the last city or something?" he asked, putting his arm around her. He knew that she needed this kind of contact, that she wanted it and craved it...and he had to admit that he enjoyed it, too.
"We have separate rooms at different hotels," she said shortly.
"Wait, separate rooms, different hotels... Are you guys breaking up or something?" he asked excitedly, standing up in front of her and looking down at her.
She couldn't decipher that look in his eyes and she couldn't look away, either. "No, we're not breaking up. I just needed to get away from him for a while, after he told me... Well, you know what he told me earlier in the car on the way here," she said, grabbing his hand. "But no, we're not breaking up."
"Oh," he said, feeling strangely disappointed. He sat down next to her again and looked away. He didn't know how he'd gotten his hopes up so quickly, or why he'd gotten his hopes up at all, for that matter, but still... It was disappointing.
"There's no use in me trying to run away from the truth anymore, though," she went on, looking down at his hand and lightly rubbing his knuckles with her thumb.
"What's the truth?" he asked, looking at her face even though she wasn't looking at him.
"That my marriage is falling apart and I just can't seem to pick up the pieces fast enough," she said with a sigh. "I love Hunter, there's no doubt about that, but I don't know how to fix our marriage..."
"Maybe..." He paused for a second, biting his lip, contemplating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking. He looked down at his hand, where her thumb was still running over his knuckles, and then he looked at her face and decided to speak from the heart. "Maybe it's not meant for you and him to be together. Maybe there's someone else out there for you, someone who'll treat you like you're the only woman who's ever mattered to him, the only woman who'll ever matter to him..."
"What are you trying to say, Chris?" she asked, looking into his eyes. She saw something there in the way he was looking at her, and it scared her, that tender look in his eyes. Yet, she found herself unable to look away from him once again.
"All I'm saying, Steph, is that maybe there's another guy out there for you...a guy who would love you the way you deserve to be loved," he whispered, reaching up to touch her face. "A guy that will love you like you've always wanted to be loved..."
"If that's true," she whispered back, knowing that he was trying to tell her something. "If that's true, then why can't I find him?"
"Maybe he's right in front of your face and you just haven't realized it yet," he said softly, leaning closer. "Maybe it's m-"
She interrupted him before he could finish his statement, covering his mouth with her left hand. She could see the light reflecting off the diamond in her wedding band, and she paused for a moment to look at it. That ring meant so much. It symbolized the bond between her and Hunter, and even though things were rocky in their marriage, she still wanted to somehow fix it.
That was why she didn't want to hear what Chris was going to say, whatever it was that he had planned to say.
"What?" he asked in a muffled voice.
"Don't say it," she whispered.
"Say what?" he mumbled against her hand, which was still covering his mouth.
"Don't say what you were about to say," she said.
"Why?" he asked, confused once again. He was always getting confused when he was around her, and he didn't know why.
"Just don't, ok?" she asked, a hint of pleading in her voice.
He gave a resigned sigh and looked away, and she removed her hand from his mouth. He looked back at her and saw that her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "What's wrong?" he asked, immediately concerned even though he was feeling a bit upset that she hadn't let him finish his sentence.
"Everything's wrong," she said, trying valiantly not to let the tears fall from her eyes. "Look around. My husband's not here. He's not even in the same hotel as me, and I'm the one who decided that we should have separate rooms."
"That's your decision. Everyone needs their space sometimes," he said in a comforting voice. "I know that I like to have my space away from Trish every once in a while, lately more so than usual..."
"And that's my fault, isn't it? I did the same thing to your relationship with her that she did to my relationship with Hunter," she said, looking away and letting the first tear fall. "I've disliked her for so long since I found out what happened between her and Hunter, and then I went and did the exact same thing with you..."
"No, you know it's not like that, Steph," he said, pulling her into his lap and holding her against him. "You came to me because your husband was being a...a stupid bastard who wouldn't give you the attention that you needed. You came to me because you needed to be touched, you needed a man... You...well, you didn't really do anything wrong."
"I came into the bathroom naked and forced myself on you," she said, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "You even told me not to and I did it anyway. I seduced you, just like Trish did to Hunter."
"I had reservations about it at first since you were married... You're still married... But really, do you think I would've done it if I hadn't wanted it on some level?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.
"No, but-"
"No buts. We're not even thinking about how this thing started between us, ok? We're not going to think about that," he said, cutting her off. "That doesn't even matter anymore."
"But Chris, I-"
"This is going to be my first and last time ever telling you this," he said in a serious voice. "I'm only going to say it once."
She looked up at him. "What?"
"Shut up."
"What?"
"I said I was only going to say it once."
"Why'd you tell me to shut up?" she asked, moving off of his lap so she could sit next to him on the couch.
"Because I'm tired of hearing you say that everything's your fault. It's not your fault and you need to stop blaming yourself for every little thing," he said, reaching over to touch her. "Besides, look at you. With the way you look, I probably would've approached you someday and tried to get you in bed anyway, even if none of this with Trish and Hunter had ever happened."
"Really?" she asked, intrigued.
"Yes, really. Thinking back now, I don't know how I ever thought I could be happy with Trish...and now I'm seeing this even more, especially when I'm with you..."
"We haven't even been together for that long," she put in. "What, it's been two or three weeks, right?"
"Things happen," he said with a shrug. "Sometimes you know something's right because it feels right, and time doesn't factor into all of it."
"You do remember what I told you, and what you promised me, right?"
"Yes, but do you remember exactly what I said? That I would try not to fall for you, try being the key word," he pointed out. "I never guaranteed that it wouldn't happen."
"So what are you saying?" she asked.
"Simply that I care about you. Is that so much of a bad thing?"
"No, I suppose not... Friends care about friends..."
"Friends, huh?" he asked quietly, kissing her on the forehead and closing his eyes.
"Yeah, friends," she replied softly, leaning up to give him a kiss. They kissed for a while, getting completely caught up in the kisses, until she pulled away and looked at him. "Chris... Since you're here..."
"Tell me what you want," he instructed in a low voice, touching her face.
"I want you, Chris," she whispered. "Right now..."
"Good," he said, standing up with her in his arms. "Because I want you, too..."
He carried her into the bedroom, kissing her softly the whole time. He didn't know how many times he'd done this with her recently, but for some unknown reason, everything was different now. This wasn't going to be just sex for him, he could tell that already. What he wondered, though, as he placed her gently on the bed and kissed her again, was if she felt this change in the atmosphere as well...
She felt it, too, and it scared her, especially when it was all over nearly an hour later and she was still feeling it. She laid there with her eyes closed as he laid on top of her, face nuzzling against her neck as she ran her fingers through his hair and savored the moment.
He felt the tears before he heard the sobs, and he leaned up to look at her. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
"You didn't hurt me, but everything's wrong now," she said sadly.
"I'm sorry if it wasn't good for you," he said, blushing a little at the thought. "But it was good for me, and I really tried-"
"It was perfect. That's not the problem," she interrupted. "The problem is...the way I'm feeling right now..."
"How are you feeling?" he asked curiously.
"Really confused," she answered, closing her eyes. "Confused about you, about us. I know we shouldn't be doing this but I don't want to stop and-"
"We don't have to stop," he pointed out. "We don't ever have to stop."
She looked at him, into those incredible blue eyes. "Chris? I..."
"You what?"
"You should go. It's... It's late, and I'm sure Trish is worried about you..."
"That's unlikely, but let me ask you this, and be honest... Do you want me to go?"
"No," she whispered.
"Then let me stay tonight," he whispered back. "Let me stay with you..."
She nodded mutely, and he moved next to her and pulled her into his arms. He ran his fingers through her hair, feeling his eyelids getting heavy. This was just the way he wanted to fall asleep, with her in his arms.
"Steph?" he asked sleepily.
"Hmmm?" she responded, just as sleepy.
"Did you ever look up Smoochy Dreamers?"
"No, I forgot..."
"Look it up tomorrow...when we wake up..." He yawned, feeling sleep about to wash over him.
"Ok," she agreed, drifting into a little haze. "Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"...I care about you, too..."
"Good," he whispered, smiling. He pulled her a little closer and they fell asleep in each other's arms...
A/N: So I was looking through some recent pics of some Fozzy gigs, and I noticed that Chris's hair is really short! Grow it back, Chris, grow it back! But he's still hot, though... Now, regarding this chapter... I hope it wasn't too hard to follow, because it was extremely hard to write. It follows my outline for the story, but... I don't know. Help me, guys! I need some input here, so leave me a review please! Thanks!
