Chapter 20
Chris sat at the table in the little diner, looking down into the steamy depths of his coffee and sighing. Trish watched him from the other side of the table and wondered what was wrong with him. He'd gotten her message about an hour and a half after she had left it, and about thirty minutes after that, he had called her back, agreeing to meet her at a nearby local diner. They'd been there for ten minutes, and he had yet to say anything to her.
"You look preoccupied," she said finally, breaking the tense silence.
He didn't bother looking up from his coffee because he didn't want to see her. "Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm a bit preoccupied," he said quietly. "Actually, a whole lot preoccupied."
"Want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked.
"No." His answer was quick and to the point, and he wanted to let her know that there would be no changing his mind about talking. He didn't really even want to be there with Trish at the moment, but he didn't really have a choice, after what had happened that morning when he and Stephanie had woke up the second time...
Flashback: Earlier That Morning
Stephanie woke up in Chris's arms and smiled to herself. She felt extremely content and wished that she could wake up that way every morning, not with Chris specifically, but with that feeling of contentment after sharing a passionate night with an experienced man who knew what he was doing in the bedroom. She looked over and saw the sunshine streaming through the window, and she knew that it was time to get up now. She grudgingly began to pull away from Chris's warm body, but she didn't get very far.
"Don't leave me, Steph," he mumbled, his arm tightening around her waist and pulling her closer to him.
"I'm not leaving you, Chris, it's just time to get up and face another day," she answered, trying again to pull away.
"Do you remember what happened when we woke up the first time?" he asked, letting her go even though he didn't want to. He liked the way she felt in his arms, and he wanted nothing more than to grab her and pull her closer again. Instead, he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Do you?" he repeated.
"What happened?" she asked curiously.
"You asked me to take you," he said with a little smile. "You wanted me..."
"Yeah, that sounds a little something like me," she chuckled, running a hand through her hair.
"It does, but this time was different from any other time we've done it before... It was special, and it was different..."
"How was it different?" she asked, brows furrowed together, trying to remember.
He looked at her, wondering if she was joking with him or if he was serious. "You really don't remember?" he asked.
"I remember being with you, but what was so different about it? What makes this last time so special that it stands out from all the amazing experiences we've had before?" she asked.
"This time... We didn't use protection," he said, looking at her. "And you let me...you know... And we've never done that before. We've never...it's never been like that before."
She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. "We...did that...with no protection?" she asked, clearly horrified.
"That's what you wanted," he said slowly, still looking at her. "You said it was ok."
"And you...did that...inside of me?" she asked, breath coming in short spurts like she was going to hyperventilate or something.
"Well, yes, Stephanie," he said in a low voice. "I tried to...um...not do that, but you told me it was ok and you told me to just let go, and so I did because I couldn't hold back anymore..."
She looked at him for a minute, then got up and pulled on an oversized "Triple H" shirt. She started pacing back and forth in front of the bed and he just watched her, wondering what was on her mind and waiting for her to speak.
"I can't believe we did that!" she exclaimed finally. "I mean, you... You actually..." She stopped pacing, put her hands on her hips, and practically glared at him. "Chris, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that you wanted it. You asked... It was your idea," Chris pointed out. "I was under the impression that you wanted it, since I asked you if you were sure and you said you were."
"Of course I said I was sure! I was horny and half-sleep, so of course I said I was sure!" she practically yelled. She turned and walked over to the bathroom. She leaned over the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Oh God," she whispered. "What the hell did we do?"
"Why are you mad at me?" he asked, following her into the bathroom after pulling on some boxers. "What did I do wrong, huh?"
"I'm not mad at you, not really. I'm more mad at myself," she said with a sigh, turning to look at him. "I'm just... What if I get preg..." Her voice trailed off, and she found that she couldn't say the word pregnant. She looked down at the floor. "Well, you know, what if?"
"Then you and I... We would deal with that together if that happened," he said logically. He'd thought about that briefly before he'd done it with her, and he had wondered if she was... "Are you on birth control?" he asked, finally voicing his concern, what he'd been wondering about earlier.
"I was, but when Hunter and I stopped...being intimate, I stopped taking the pills, and..."
"So you're not?" he asked, biting his lip as he looked at her.
"I'm not," she whispered, looking back at him. She closed her eyes, leaning back against the sink. "I'm going to get pregnant! I'm going to get pregnant and it won't be by my husband and everyone will know that you and I have been doing it and-"
"No they won't, now take a breath and calm yourself down, ok?" he said, taking her by the shoulders. "The odds of you getting pregnant this first time, those odds aren't very high."
"You're right, you're right," she agreed, nodding and letting him hug her. "You're absolutely right."
"All the loyal Jerichoholics would think so," he said with a smile. He held her close for a while, then let her go. "Now, what's this junk you were saying about facing another day?"
"You have such a way with words," was all she said.
They showered and got ready for whatever the day would throw at them. They didn't know what the day would hold, but they would be ready.
Quite some time later, they both sat down on the couch together, and he took her hand in his. He didn't say anything, though. He just brought it up to his lips and kissed it, looking into her eyes the whole time.
"What was that for?" she asked, blushing.
"You're just beautiful," he said softly, smiling a little at her. "Do you remember what you asked me earlier when we woke up?"
"Oh no, are there more scary surprises?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "Did I ask you to run away with me and elope or something?"
"Nah, you didn't. You're married so there's no way you'd ask me something like that," he said, laughing as well, then getting serious. "But if you were to ask me something like that, I wouldn't hesitate to leave Trish for you."
"Funny," she said, biting her lip. "You're quite the joker."
"I wasn't joking... But anyway, you asked me if I would ever love you," he told her. "You asked me if I closed my eyes, could I see myself loving you..."
"Damn, I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut when I'm sleeping," she said, shaking her head. She was a little curious to know what his response had been, though. "Well, what did you say?"
"I said yes," he answered right away. "And I said that on some level, I already lo-"
It was at that moment that her cell phone chose to go off. She reached for it and looked at the display. "I have to get this, it's the husband," she said. She saw the upset look on his face, and she squeezed his hand softly before answering the phone. "Hello? Yeah, I'm up, I'm just a little busy... Really, you're downstairs in the lobby? Holy...no! Don't come up, I'll meet you downstairs and we'll go talk somewhere... Ok, yeah, I'll be right down, don't come up here... Bye."
"So you're going somewhere with...him?" Chris asked slowly.
"Yeah, he's right downstairs and I don't think it would be very sensible if I let him come up here, do you?" she asked.
"No, it wouldn't, but you don't even know if I had something planned or something," he said.
"Well, did you?"
"No..."
"Ok then, what's the problem?"
"It's just, I... I didn't think you would make plans to leave me so soon after we shared such a passionate night...and since there's still so much up in the air about us."
"We could always talk later, you know?" she pointed out.
"But there are things about our relationship that I wanted to talk about," he said, "I wanted to finish our conversation..."
"And we will," she assured him. "Just...later."
"But Steph..."
"Let's not argue, Chris," she said, standing up. "We've never argued and I don't want to start now..."
He stood up as well. "What do I have to do to make you stay?"
"There's nothing you can do... He's my husband, I have to go," she said with a sigh. She walked over to get her purse, then came back over to him and hugged him. She kissed him softly, then pulled away and touched his face. "Meet up with me later?" she asked.
He gave a resigned sigh. "Later," he agreed, and then he had to watch her go. When the door closed behind her, her words reverberated through his mind, making him frown a little.
"There's nothing you can do..."
End Flashback
"Chris, you still here with me?" Trish asked, reaching over to touch Chris's arm, which was resting on the table.
Chris pulled his arm away from her touch like he had been scalded, then nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I was just thinking."
"Why won't you just let me in?" she pleaded. "I'm your girlfriend, I want to know what's on your mind, what's bothering you and hurting you..."
"It's none of your business, and that's it," he said, finally looking up at her, eyes blazing.
She was taken aback by the anguished look in his eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked him again, in a softer voice. "Just tell me."
"Fine. How the hell do you work up the nerve to tell someone that you think you love her, when you know she's not going to want to hear it?" he asked her harshly. "How do you do that when she told you not to fall for her in the first place? How do you tell her that you think you've fallen for her anyway?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, again taken aback, this time by what he'd said and by how harsh his voice sounded. "Who are you... Are you talking about me or are you seeing another woman?"
"Trish, I don't want to talk about this right now!" he exclaimed.
"But Chris, we're a couple, couples talk," she protested. "Let's talk... What happened to you, and where's the Chris I used to know?"
"He's lost and confused right now," he said, standing up. He pulled out some money and dropped it on the table. "That should cover the cost of my coffee... I need to be by myself right now."
"But Chris-"
He didn't stick around to hear what she had to say, though. Instead, he quickly walked out of the diner, head down, and headed for his rental. He got inside and drove to a park he remembered seeing on the way to the hotel the day before. He needed to go somewhere alone so he could sort out his mind, and that was the best place he could think of.
He parked his rental and walked through the park with his hands in his pockets, kicking at rocks on the sidewalk that wound through the park. He found a bench where no one was around, so he sat down on it and looked dejectedly out over at a pond that was nearby.
He sat there looking out over the pond for a very long time. Hours passed and it was already pretty dark by the time he heard his phone alert him that he had a new IM. He flipped his screen around and opened AIM to see that he had a message from Stephanie...
Stephy76: Where are you?
cjrocks: I'm in the park.
Stephy76: Are you alone?
cjrocks: It's just me and my thoughts... And why are you IMing me anyway? Aren't you off with...him?
Stephy76: No, he's gone now...finally. I came back up to my room and you weren't there...so I got kind of worried about you.
cjrocks: Why worry about me? I'm fine.
Stephy76: I don't like the way I left things with you, and I wanted to finish that conversation we were having.
cjrocks: It's your call, Steph. From now on, everything between me and you is going to be on your call, because... I don't want to mess this up.
Stephy76: There's no way that you could. You're perfect, Chris, and I don't think you could be any other way.
cjrocks: No, you're the perfect one.
Stephy76: No, you...
cjrocks: You...
Stephy76: Can I see you? Right now?
cjrocks: What did I say the last time you asked me that...yesterday?
Stephy76: That I could see you any day or night that I wanted to.
cjrocks: So does that answer your question?
Stephy76: Yeah. I'm going to walk to the park... Meet me at the entrance?
cjrocks: I could just come and pick you up. It's pretty dark out here and I don't want you getting hurt or anything...
Stephy76: Oh please, it's five minutes away... Just meet me at the entrance to the park and then take me back to the spot you're sitting in.
cjrocks: I'll be there...
About ten minutes later, Stephanie made it to the entrance of the park, where Chris was waiting. When he saw her, he wanted to kiss her or just hug her, but he knew he shouldn't, so instead he just put his hand on the small of her back and led her through the park to the spot where he'd spent hours thinking about...her.
They sat down close on the bench together, close because he wanted to be close to her and he didn't know why. He was beginning to wonder if he needed their contact more than she did. He didn't know, though... He just knew that he enjoyed being with her, maybe too much...
"So...back to our conversation," he said finally, breaking the silence.
"Wait... Just let me kiss you first," she whispered, one hand softly caressing his face. Her lips met his and she kissed him for what seemed like forever. When she pulled back, her hand was still on her face, and she smiled. "Ok, now we can talk."
"I'm not sure if I can," he said, looking at her lips.
"But I want to," she insisted, a serious look on her face. "Now where were we... Oh yeah, we were talking about what you said when I asked if you would ever love me..."
"I'm not sure you want to know... You made me make that promise not to fall for you, remember?" he reminded her.
"Disregarding that for a minute..." She grabbed his hand. She was really curious to know. "What was your answer?"
"I said that I already do, on some level," he replied quietly, looking right at her. "It's... I know you probably don't want to hear this from me...but I think I'm falling for you..."
"How can you be sure?" she wanted to know.
"I just... It's just something that I feel, that's all," he answered honestly. "It's powerful, whatever it is..."
"Wow," she said, looking over at the pond. It was late, and the moon was reflecting off the surface of the water. She didn't really know what to say, so she didn't speak for a while. She looked back at him, then stood up. "Well, it's pretty late now. I'm going to get back to the hotel... Are you coming with me?"
"I actually need to clear some things up with Trish," he said, standing up. "If I don't come back tonight, it's not because I'm sleeping with her or anything. It's because I'm talking to her... I think it's time for us to reevaluate our 'relationship' if you can even call it that anymore..."
"Oh..."
It was weird now, because everything between them was so different. They didn't even realize that they were holding hands as they headed for his rental, but they were, maybe because it seemed so natural for them to do so...
The ride back to the hotel she was staying in was much too short for both of them, but they just had to deal with it. He pulled up in front of the hotel, then got out and went around to open her door for her. She offered him her hand and he helped her out, then closed the door. She leaned against the side of the car and looked up into his eyes.
"Not going to walk me up to my room?" she joked, but she was half-serious.
"You know I can't," he said, one hand braced on the car as he leaned near her. "I'd never be able to leave if I walked you up there."
"I know."
"And, I already told you this, I need to have that talk with Trish..."
She sighed and nodded, then looked around quickly before, putting her arms around him. "Kiss me?"
"Out here, in plain view of any and everyone who passes by?" he asked incredulously.
"It's late. No one's going to be watching us, and if they are..." Her voice trailed off as she leaned a little closer. "If they are, then maybe they'll get as hot as I do when you kiss me..."
"You're bad," he laughed, and then he kissed her.
They had only meant for the kiss to be a short, parting kiss but it quickly turned into something deeper. She pulled him closer and he kissed her harder, and they only broke apart when they both needed to come up for air.
"Damn, you make me get so out of control," he whispered, breathing hard.
"Kudos," she said breathlessly, touching his lips. "You better go before I drag you up to my room and rape you...or take you right here..."
"I'll try to come back later tonight," he promised, pulling away from her. "Go on inside because I'm tempted to rip your clothes off right now..."
She smiled and gave him another kiss, seemingly not caring that anyone could see them. Afterwards, she hurried into the hotel, and he watched her go. When she was safely inside, she turned and blew him a little kiss, and he caught it and blew her one back. Then he got in his rental and headed for his own hotel, wondering exactly what he was going to say to Trish...
Stephanie stepped into the elevator and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and smiling. Just being around Chris made her smile, and thoughts of him kept a smile on her face even when he was gone. The man was amazing and she would've had to be a complete and total fool not to realize that. She felt someone watching her, and she opened her eyes to come face to face (or rather, face to chest) with someone she hadn't expected to see.
"Um, hello," she said nervously, trying to take a step back even though the intimidating man was all the way in the opposite corner of the elevator. "H-how are you?"
"You don't have to be nervous, I'm not going to hurt you," The Undertaker assured her in a surprisingly gentle voice. He let his eyes roam over her. "I'm just surprised that everything my brother Kane told me seems to be true."
"Kane? What'd he tell you?" she asked.
"That you and Chris Jericho have a...thing. From what I just saw right outside the hotel, it's true." He saw how the color drained from her face, and he smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile for her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell that bastard of a husband of yours."
She let out the breath she'd been holding and smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you," she said shakily. "But how does he know? Kane, I mean?"
"He sees things that no one else sees, we both do," he said mysteriously. "Seriously, though, Jericho is a much better man than your husband, and I think it's nice that you can turn to him for comfort."
"It is nice," she agreed, nodding. "Chris is a really great person... I love...hanging out with him."
"Love, huh? That should tell you something," he said as the doors opened. "Oh, and Stephanie?" he added as she stepped out on her floor. She turned to look at him, and he went on. "There are things you don't know about your so-called husband. He's only your husband in name, really..."
"What do you mean?" she asked timidly.
"He calls himself your husband but he has yet to perform any of his husbandly duties besides wearing the ring," he explained. "And... I just think you should know that it's not wrong to want someone else if Hunter's not treating you right...because he's not. There are things about him that you don't know about..."
"What are you trying to say, Taker?" she asked, wondering why the elevator hadn't closed yet.
"I'm just saying... Don't try to make him love you when someone else already does," he said, smiling at her. "Now, goodnight, Stephanie."
"Wait! Who loves me?" she asked as the doors began to close.
"You already know," he replied cryptically, and then he was gone.
She knew who he was talking about, and even though she knew it could only spell out more problems for her already shaky marriage, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of Chris loving her as she made her way to her room...
A/N: This is the longest chapter yet! I have no idea where the ideas for this chapter came from, but here it is! I just want to thank the people who are sticking with this story even though it's always changing so fast... And leave a review to let me know if I should change anything...
