Chapter 21
Trish sat in the hotel room she was supposed to be sharing with Chris, the very same hotel room that he had yet to sleep in. She still hadn't found out where he'd slept at the previous night, but a nagging little voice in the back of her mind kept chanting in her head that he'd been with another woman. The way he'd acted earlier at the diner only made that little voice chant louder in her head, so loud that she couldn't ignore the truth anymore...
"But what's the truth?" she wondered aloud.
She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes, thinking about her truth. She didn't love Chris, but he was always there to comfort her when things got rough... Not for much longer, though. Eventually, he was going to leave her and find himself a woman who could love him, and she knew that "eventually" would be sooner than later. She would miss him if...no, when...he left her, but not because she was in love with him. No, someone else had her heart.
Hunter had her heart.
At the thought of what had happened between her and Hunter earlier that day, she buried her face in her hands. She just couldn't help crying at the thought of him..
It was this scene that Chris walked in on. The whole time on the way from Stephanie's hotel to his own, he'd built up his resolve, had built up his courage, had thought about the words he would use to break up with Trish. He wanted to let her down easy, because that was just the type of man he was. In his head, everything would go perfectly, and it would be a little something like this...
"Trish, there's something you should know," Chris would say, walking into their hotel room and shutting the door.
"Really? What?" Trish would ask. She would be lying on the couch watching something on the TV.
"I... This might hurt you," he would say, sitting down next to her.
"I'm incapable of being hurt," she would say, looking over at him and giving him a disinterested look. "Spit it out already while the show is on commercial break."
"Ok, here goes," he would say. He would pause and take a deep breath, then go on. "I'm in love with another woman."
"Oh, is that all?" she would ask with a laugh, looking back at the TV. "I thought you were going to say I had a pimple or something."
"So...you don't care?" he would ask in disbelief.
"Not really. Why don't you just go be with her?" she would ask, not sparing him another glance.
"No tears, then? No sadness, no suicidal thoughts?" he would ask skeptically.
"No, one," she would say, standing up. "But I would like a hug before you go."
"Not a problem. Just let me go get my stuff," he would tell her, beginning to smile. He would go into the bedroom and get his luggage, then come back and put it by the door. Afterwards, he would walk over to her. "Hug?"
She would hug him and he would hug her back, and then she would whisper, "Good luck with Stephanie."
He would pull back, shocked. "What? How did you know it was-"
"Get out of here, Chris, she's waiting," she would say, laughing and pushing him away. She would slap him playfully on the butt and he would turn around, pretending to be angry.
"Hey," he would scold her. "Hands off the merchandise. It's all Stephanie's now."
"Damn, I don't get the benefits of that sexy body of yours anymore?" she would ask, laughing as she walked him to the door. She would open the door and he would step out, turning to face her one last time. "Bye, Chris," she would say softly.
"See you around, Trish," he would reply, and then he would be off, on his way to be with Stephanie...
Of course, there was no way in hell this was going to happen. It was too perfect, and he knew that it could never be that perfect, not ever. He became even more aware of that fact when he walked into their suite and saw Trish over on the couch crying her eyes out... In his little fantasy of the way things would happen, she'd been over on the couch watching something on TV, not crying a river...
"Shit," he cursed to himself, going all the way into the suite and closing the door. He walked over to the couch, dropping the keys to his rental on the table before sitting down next to her and pulling her into his arms, where she cried on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, rubbing her back slightly. He knew how to comfort crying women now. He'd learned that from his experiences with Stephanie...
"Everyone's leaving me," she sobbed, not even attempting to stop crying because she knew that she couldn't. The tears would stop when they wanted to stop. "I'm not capable of being loved or holding on to a man."
"Where's this coming from?" he asked curiously, wondering if she knew that he was about to break up with her.
"You don't have to pretend anymore, and I can't pretend anymore," she said, pulling away. "It's no secret now that you love another woman. You said as much earlier in the diner, and we both know that woman isn't me, so let's just stop pretending."
"Trish, I can explain," he began, but she put a shaking finger up to his lips.
"It's ok. I don't love you, either, Chris. I care about you, but it's not love, and it never will be," she went on. "I do love the way you're always here to comfort me, and you are great in bed..."
"Well, yeah," he said with a little laugh, and she laughed a little, too, despite the tears. "They say I'm the best," he joked.
"But," she continued. "My heart... It belongs to someone else, and I don't think I'll ever fall for anyone else...ever."
"So where does that leave us?" he asked, biting his lip. It was almost too good to be true, the fact that she felt the same way about their "relationship" as he did. "Me and you... I mean, what... Where do we go from here?"
"I don't know, Chris," she said, putting her arms around his neck impulsively and hugging him. "We're both not really happy with each other, and I don't want to hold you back when you have the opportunity to be with a woman who can love you...actually love you. I don't want to be in the way of that." She leaned her chin on his shoulder and closed her eyes, arms still around him. "I think you should just go be with her..."
"It's not that easy," he said, thinking about Stephanie. "I want to be with her, but it's... It's a complicated situation, really complicated."
"It can't be all that complicated. Just go get your things and go be with her," she said, pulling back. "You want her and I'm setting you free... That way, at least one of us can be happy, and I'll feel a little better that at least you're happy..."
"If I didn't know any better, Trish, I'd think you were trying to get rid of me," he said, smiling a little. "Are you?"
"I'm just setting you free, Chris, that's all," she said with a sigh, finally letting him go. She got up off of him and sat down next to him but with about a foot of space between them. She felt like she had just hugged him for the last time, and surprisingly, that made her feel a little empty inside. She looked away and thought about what a mess her love life was.
"So, are you going to go be with this guy you love?" he asked curiously.
"I don't think that's possible," she said, sighing again. "It's all so complicated with him and... I don't think he'll ever take me."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
They sat there in silence for a few minutes until she looked back at him and forced herself to smile. "So," she said brightly. "Go ahead and get your stuff and go be with her."
"I can't leave you here now, Trish," he said, not moving from his spot on the couch. "You're not ok right now, and I'm not going to just leave you here alone."
"I'll be fine," she assured him, her voice cracking a little. "Just go be with her, whoever she is."
"I..." His voice trailed off as he thought about the opportunity she had just given him. This was what he'd been dreaming of, this was like his little fantasy. She was setting him free, and he was free to go and be with Stephanie. All he had to do was go get his things and leave, and Trish was ok with it. What more could he ask for?
Without another word, he got up from the couch and went into the room to get his stuff. It wasn't that hard for him to gather up his things since he hadn't unpacked the night before... He'd stayed with Stephanie... He grabbed his luggage and went back out in the front where Trish was still sitting on the couch, looking off into space, and he couldn't help but think that she looked kind of like a lost little puppy with sad eyes.
"You're going." It wasn't a question, she was just stating the obvious. He was going, and he was leaving her, just like Hunter. Earlier when Hunter had made her go, it had been a little easier to swallow, knowing that Chris was going to be there to comfort her like he always did. Now that he was leaving her, too, she had no one to turn to for comfort, no one but a pillow that she would probably end up crying herself to sleep on.
"Yeah, I'm going," he said uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was uncomfortable. She moved like she was going to stand up, but he spoke before she could. "You don't... You don't have to stand up and walk me to the door or anything." He walked his luggage over to the door, then walked back over to the couch and kneeled down in front of her. "I care about you, Trish, don't think I never did. I stuck with you even through everything that happened with Hunter..." He saw her flinch at the mention of Hunter's name, but he went on. "And even though we're... I guess we're not together anymore now... But even though we're not together, I'll still be your friend, if that's what you want." She nodded mutely, and he smiled a little, thinking they were on the same page. "Ok, well, um..." He stood up, then leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "Go get your guy, Trish... Don't just sit here and be depressed."
"I'm so not depressed, Chris," she said, smiling, but it was a fake smile and she didn't look at him. "I'm happy, I'm great, I feel great..." She was lying the whole time, but she didn't want him to know that. She just wanted him to go and be happy. At least one of them would be, and if anyone deserved to be happy, it was him since he'd stuck with her for all this time when she'd been using him...
When had she become this person she was now?
She didn't know.
"Well, if you're absolutely sure," he said skeptically.
"I'm very sure," she said immediately.
"Ok, then since you're sure," he said, grabbing his keys off the table. "I guess I'll get going." She still didn't look at him, so he opened the door and stepped out, bringing his luggage with him. "Bye Trish," he said softly, waiting for her to say something.
"Yeah, bye," she said, still just staring off into space.
He didn't know what else he should say, if anything, so he began to close the door. Right before he closed it all the way, he looked back inside and saw her crying. She was actually crying. Of course she would be crying, how could he think that she wouldn't? He closed the door all the way behind him and pulled out his phone. He needed to send Stephanie an IM...
cjrocks: Steph, are you still up?
Stephy76: Yeah, waiting for you... Are you coming?
cjrocks: I wish I could, but I have some things to wrap up with Trish. Can we meet tomorrow sometime?
Stephy76: I guess...
cjrocks: Don't be mad at me, Steph, but Trish... She needs a friend tonight, and I can't just leave her like this.
Stephy76: So you're staying? You're staying with her?
cjrocks: Just for tonight, to make sure she's going to be ok without me.
Stephy76: Whatever, Chris. Do what you want.
cjrocks: Please don't be mad, I'll have good news for you tomorrow, I promise.
System Message: Stephy76 is no longer online.
Chris read the message, surprised that she had signed off while he was still talking to her. Was she mad at him because he wasn't coming back tonight? It's not like he didn't want to go be with her, he did, but he couldn't just leave Trish alone in the state that she was in. He'd always been the type of guy to put other people's needs in front of his own desires, and that's what he was doing tonight. Trish had set him free, and that was huge for him, but tonight he was going to stay and comfort her...
He put his phone back in his pocket and took a deep breath before opening the door to the suite again. He stepped inside, pulling his luggage in with him and shutting the door. Trish looked up.
"Chris! I thought you left," she said, quickly wiping her eyes so he wouldn't know that she'd been crying again. "Did you forget something?"
"No, I didn't forget anything," he said, walking over to the couch and sitting next to her. "I just feel really bad for you right now, Trish. You're obviously upset and I know it can't be a good thing to just leave you alone while you're feeling like this."
"Don't pity me, ok? I've done some pretty messed up things these past two years," she said, her voice catching. "I don't deserve anyone's pity, least of all yours."
"Look, I'm here as your friend now. I said I'd be your friend, and I'm not going to go back on what I said," he said, opening his arms for her. "Now come here, because it looks like you need a shoulder to cry on, and I have two..."
She practically flew into his arms then, and she just let the tears come. He held her while she cried, and she closed her eyes. "Whatever woman gets you, whoever she is... She's so lucky," she whispered. "So lucky."
He didn't say anything. He just held her and let her cry on him, knowing that it was going to be a long night. His mind wandered off and before he knew it, he was thinking about Stephanie. I wonder what she's doing right now...
Stephanie sat in her hotel room on the bed, looking off into space and thinking. Chris had sent her an IM telling her that he was going to stay with Trish, "just for tonight." "Yeah, right," she said with a scoff, and she didn't know why she felt so bitter all of a sudden. It hadn't bothered her before when she knew that he was going to be with Trish, but now just the thought of it made her physically ill. She didn't want to share him, not with Trish...
She laid back in the bed and grabbed her cell phone. She had gotten mad at Chris when he'd told her that he wasn't coming back until the next day, so mad that she had just signed off of AIM even though she knew that he was probably going to send her another message. Ok, so she wasn't really, truly mad at him. She was more nervous about what he was going to tell her after that, so that was why she had signed off.
She closed her eyes and remembered the night before when he had stayed with her. That was only the second time ever that he'd actually stayed with her all night, and that morning had been the second morning ever that she'd woken up in his arms... She didn't know why, but she felt like it would be a challenge for her to wake up alone the next morning with him not next to her... She wondered what he was doing, then frowned when she thought about it.
He's probably doing Trish, she thought bitterly, and then before she knew what she was doing, she found herself dialing her husband's cell phone number.
"Hello?" Hunter answered.
"It's me," Stephanie replied, looking up at the ceiling.
"Stephanie? Is something wrong?" he asked.
"No, nothing's wrong," she replied, closing her eyes and thinking about Chris. "I just... I miss you."
"Did you want me to come over?"
"Would you?"
"I'm your husband, of course I would."
"Thank you."
"There's no need to thank me. I'll be there in about ten minutes."
She didn't say anything else, she just ended the call and opened her eyes again. She sat up and waited, sitting on the edge of the bed, and ten minutes later, Hunter was knocking on her door, just like he'd said he would be. She got up and walked out of the bedroom and through the suite to the door. She opened it and he walked inside, and then she closed and locked the door. After that, she took a deep breath and turned to him.
"So... What did you want to do?" he asked, looking around.
"I didn't call you over here to sleep with me in...that way, if that's what you're thinking," she said, looking at him. She could've sworn that she saw a look of relief appear on his face, but maybe she was just imagining things, so she went on. "I just didn't want to be alone tonight..."
"And you wanted me to hold you while you slept," he finished for her. She nodded, and he bit his lip. "Sure, I'll do that, if that's what you want."
It's not what I want, you're not who I want, but I guess it's the next best thing, she thought, but of course she didn't say this out loud. Instead, she just grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom. She got in the bed under the covers, and he took off his clothes, leaving on his boxers, then slid into the bed next to her. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close to him.
"Goodnight, Steph."
"Night, Hunter."
He paused for a minute, closing his eyes and thinking of Trish. "Steph... I love you."
She was already halfway sleep by now. "I love you, too, Chris," she whispered back.
"What'd you say?" he asked her loudly. "Did you just call me Chris?"
She didn't reply, though. She was asleep, already dreaming of being with Chris...
A/N: I'm not happy with this chapter, not at all. I know what I wanted to happen, and most of it happened, but still... I'm not happy with the product, know what I mean? I'm going to work really hard on the next chapter, though, so hopefully that'll be a bit better... Review, por favor! Oh yeah, and I should be updating The Princess and The Duke sometime this week hopefully (I'm halfway through Chapter 10), and it's gonna be crazy!
