Chapter 17

Decisions

Kaoru sat on the couch glaring angrily at the red-head. She couldn't believe what'd just happened and more so she couldn't believe she'd slapped him clear across the face.

"Oh my god, what the hell am I doing here? How could I let myself get caught up in this stupid fantasy world? Of course that's what he wanted…argh! Stupid, stupid, stupid Kaoru! Damn, did I really just slap him?" She couldn't get over the betrayal and anger she felt towards Kenshin.

She assumed he was there for her out of honest concern, but now she thought different. Not knowing what to do for a moment she noticed that his eyes flickered in the dim lights of the room. He looked shocked and then angry and now she couldn't read the expression in his eyes. Deciding that she didn't want to stick around to find out what he thought of her slapping him, Kaoru quickly gathered herself up and left the room.

Before exiting the room, she listened for any footsteps coming from behind her, but heard none. She looked back and saw the red-head still sitting dumbfounded on the couch. "Argh, what was I thinking!" she thought as she headed down the hallway.

She felt heartbroken. The past week and everything that had transpired between her and Kenshin felt surreal to at times. Every moment of happiness and exuberance that they'd shared together was as if it'd be their last. She dreaded being shaken from the surreal reality she was floating through the entire time. He was perfect and now she realized it was too good to be true. It was time to wake up from the perfect dream.

"Was it really a mistake for me to try and go out with this guy?" she thought. How desperately she wanted him to be her knight in shining armor and how stupid she felt now for letting herself get carried away by him. "You're so damn delusional Kaoru damnit wake up already!"

She finally reached the front door and made quick work of opening it to get out of the house. The mild afternoon sky was receding quickly into the darkness of the night. She struggled with her thoughts of disappointment, shock, anger and at the same time was trying to find a way to get home.

"Bus? Cab? Call Misao or Sano?" she contemplated her next move and was walking down the driveway when suddenly she heard her name being called from behind.

Turning around she saw that it was Kenshin running up to her.

"KAORU! KAORU!" he came running and was quickly standing face to face with her.

"Wait…I…I'll drive you home okay?" he said trying to catch his breath.

"WHAT? NO! I don't need you to drive me anywhere! Just…just leave me alone okay!" she screamed back trying to fight her tears. "Why do I want to cry? Argh, don't let him see you cry damnit!"

"Kaoru…please…just let me drive you home. It's getting late and there's practically no buses running at this hour on the weekend!"

"Isn't he pissed at me for slapping him?" she thought suspiciously. "Kenshin please! Just leave me be! I…I can't talk to you right now." She was using every resolve she had to try and not to break down in front of him. The disappointment and anger still bubbling within her.

She looked past him and refused to meet his eyes and felt her own fill with tears. "God, just leave me alone! Damnit…don't cry! Argh…how could you Kenshin? Why would you do something like that?"

"Kaoru, please…" Kenshin stepped closer to her, cupping her face within his hands, "just hear me out for a second."

She remained quiet and still refused to meet his gaze.

He continued still holding her, "I'm really sorry about what happened…I…I just don't know what the hell I was thinking. And then when you slapped me…I just…I didn't know what to think".

Kaoru still refused to make eye contact with him. "You will NOT sweet talk me again Mr. Himura! Argh."

"Kaoru…I…I'm just sorry. That's all I can say. Please, let me drop you home."

That last sentence came with hesitation and it caused her to look towards him for the first time since leaving his house. Warm eyes with pain and despair stared back at her. He looked absolutely broken and ashamed and she knew despite her anger for what happened she was surprised to see him so sad.

"Shit! Now what? I mean…I guess I wasn't exactly yelling 'STOP, STOP' either, but I'm still pissed. He should know better! What the hell does he think I am? Argh…there's no way I can walk home from here and he's right about the buses crappy weekend schedule. Call Misao? Yea right! Sano? Argh…NEXT!

Kaoru looked back at him angrily and practically growled, "Fine! Let's go!"

She walked ahead of him at a quick pace and reached the passenger side of the car. Within a few minutes they were driving in uncomfortable silence once more. She wished she could read what was on his mind.

The night sky was above them and she glanced over at the time, which read 6:23 pm.

The rest of the ride went without either of them breaking the heavy silence. Kaoru's mind was as usual buzzing away with a million different thoughts. She kept seeing herself with Kenshin all those times they'd spent together and how stupid she was for thinking that her life would be any better with someone else coming into it.

"I wonder if he's angry about me slapping him. Well…he completely deserved it! What a jerk! I guess all the other ones didn't mind him getting fresh with them…argh…I just…I don't know what to say to him anymore. It hasn't even been a month and we're already like this. Is it even worth the trouble to keep going forward? I mean what did you expect Kaoru? For him to marry you? Keh…he's looking for what they're all looking for!"

Finally they reached her home and sat in silence in the car. Kaoru looked up toward the house and noticed not one light was on indicating that no one was home yet. Coming home and having the place to herself was at least some consolation after the evening she'd just had.

She looked back at Kenshin who was staring placidly out the front windshield. Not knowing what to do she let her emotions take hold of her and spoke first. He would have to listen to her and know once and for all what sort of girl Kaoru Kamiya was.

"Kenshin…I…I don't know what to say to you right now. I'm really mad at what happened, but…argh…why would you do something like that? Do you really think I'm that type of girl that's gonna' see your big expensive house and servants and crap and just expect me to…"

"Kaoru! No! Damnit…I didn't think that of you for a second. I just…I'm sorry for being an idiot. I feel ashamed for what happened and even worse for how I made you feel. I…I didn't plan any of it if that's what you're thinking. I…I'm really sorry."

She knew he wasn't lying. He looked right into her eyes and had spoken every last word while his eyes filled with unshed tears. She was a mess of emotions and didn't know what to think.

"Kenshin…" she looked out the front windshield as she spoke to him, "where is this all going? I mean…are we serious about each other? It's been one week and all this crap with my family. Do you even want to deal with someone like me? Why would you? I just…I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to waste either one of our time." Her heart was breaking at those words and she could barely keep her voice from trembling as she softly spoke to him.

He seemed shocked to hear what she had said. "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know Kenshin. I don't know what to say or think or even what I mean. All I know is this isn't some fantasy world that we're just gonna' float through. I mean I don't expect a ring on my finger or anything, but tonight just made me realize if we're going to get any further in this relationship then…we have to start thinking about my parents finding out. And I don't know where you stand…and I can't predict the future. I just…I don't know."

She couldn't keep back her tears. "Am I really crying because I'm afraid to loose him? How can I be so attached to him already? No! This is nonsense. Just be strong Kaoru!"

"Kaoru I'm not gonna run away if your folks find out. I…I'd prefer they do find out so we don't have to sneak around behind their backs." Kenshin spoke softly to her, but she could hear the strength and seriousness in his voice. "Do you think I like the fact that you had to lie to your mom to spend time with me today? I can get over your dad since he's sick in hospital, but what about when he's back home? Will you have to continue to lie to him too? It kills me because I know what we're doing is not wrong so why should be hide like thieves?"

She reflected on his statement and realized how right he was. "I know…I know. It's just that, they're really serious about the whole relationship thing. And I know when my dad finds out it's gonna be really hard. I just…I need to know you'll be there and that I can trust you."

He seemed hurt by her statement. "Kaoru, you still feel like you can't trust me?"

"I…it's not that…it's just that…" she stammered for an honest answer to his question, but in truth she didn't even know herself.

He let out a breath and looked down letting fiery red bangs cover his eyes. "I guess you should take some time and think things over about us. If you decide that you want to take this chance in your life then just know that I'll be by your side no matter what happens. You have my word on that. If you decide that this relationship isn't worth the trouble that your parents will give after they find out, then…then I won't bother you ever again. Just…just let me know what you want Kaoru. I support you no matter what you decide."

She couldn't believe what he was saying. "Is he implying we break up?" she instantly answered her own question, "no YOU implied that you two break up. He's just laying it out straightforward."

She turned to face him with tears rolling from her blue eyes and her heart breaking slowly, "why is this so hard?"

"Kenshin…" she cried gently and let the hot tears fall freely down her face and into her lap, "…I…I don't know what to say to that."

He looked up at her and gently wiped some tears from her face, "Just go home for now and rest. You have some thinking to do and I guess I do too. I don't want to see any more tears in those big beautiful eyes though. Go and get some sleep. Call me whenever you want."

She couldn't help notice that he didn't bend over and kiss her. He merely kept his hand on her cheek for a few more moments and looked longingly into her eyes. His own were filled with pain and sorrow. But she knew he was right. For now she would have to tear herself away from him and figure things out on her own.

Slowly she exited the car and walked up to the front door of her house. Fumbling around in her bag, she finally located her keys and opened the door. As usual Kenshin waited until she was safely inside before driving off.

Leaning against the door Kaoru heard the engine of his car roar off and gradually the sound left her ears. She was left standing in the dark house completely alone. She didn't know what tomorrow would bring and shuddered at having to make a decision about her and Kenshin. She wiped at her tears in vain as only more fell from her eyes.

After trudging up the stairs and washing up, she lay in her bed still thinking about his words. "I'll be there no matter what…just let me know what you want…"

"What do I want?" she mumbled aloud.

She was so angry at him after everything had happened at his house, but she just couldn't stay mad at him. Perhaps it was her bashfulness and the fact that she'd never really had a boyfriend that caused her to act so defensively. She felt a bit guilty for slapping him but knew that he accepted blame for his actions. So shouldn't she forgive him? "Argh…good work Kaoru! You went all Kendo on his ass and he probably thinks you're some kind of violent karate freak!"

She remembered the times that her father always taught her how to defend herself. Especially against rude boys with wandering hands. He'd always taught her to be self-reliant and strong when it came to someone putting their hands on her. "Lesson learned dad" she thought sarcastically.

Still her mind went back to the decision at hand. She wanted more than anything to keep living the charmed life she was experiencing being with Kenshin. But reality was all too harsh and she knew that sooner or later it would all come crashing down. "Whenever something really good begins to happen, life just has a way of slapping you in the face" she thought bitterly.

"Well you have one hell of a decision to make Kauro Kamiya."

Looking over at her clock she saw that it was only just past 8 pm. The long day however was wearing heavily on her and she let her body relax against the bed, as exhaustion finally overtook and she drifted off to sleep still thinking about Kenshin.

END CHAPTER 17

Wow. Can't believe I banged this chappy out in one sit down. It honestly started off really quickly and I just went right through it before I even realized.

Well I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know it seems like our cute and cozy couple only now got together and I'm already putting them through hell, but they really need to find out if they'll stick by each other no matter what right? Facing traditional minded parents isn't exactly for the weak of heart!

LOL…Oh and for those of you who still can't figure out why Kenshin went for second base so quickly, I guess the answer is that he's a guy! And guys will be guys! Especially if they're good looking and are used to having chicks fall for them. I guess you can say he lost himself in the moment, but now he regrets it! Miss. Kamiya isn't one of his ex-girlfriends and that handprint across his face is proof of that! LMAO

Anyhow…next chappy will see our lovers either getting together to being torn apart by reality. Also…coming soon….D-Day! Evil grin

Please review and let me know what you think so far! This story is really getting stretched out huh? But I'm trying my best to keep extra 'fluff' out so we can get on with the plot.

Arrigato!

xoxoxo