This was written by Bella.


Buck watched the trucks pull out of the bay; sirens blaring; heading off to a warehouse fire. Once again he was left as the man behind. He knew it was his own doing. The lawsuit he filed against the city; against the department; against Bobby; had caused cracks in the foundation of his friendships with his team. As time passed those cracks became canyons and now that he was back where he knew he belonged Buck didn't know how to fix them.

He had been back to work three weeks now and nobody would pay him even an ounce of attention. He spent the first week trying to apologize and explain why he had done it but nobody wished to listen. They would just scowl and walk away or tell him to shut up and then walk away. They would glare whenever he walked too close to them anywhere in the station; mumble insults under their breath whenever he walked past. Other then that it was usually silent when and where he was concerned. He had gotten the hint after eight days of trying to talk to all of them multiple times.

He knew he could handle it from most of the crew; it wasn't like they were all that close to begin with. It was the four he looked at like his family. It was Bobby, and Hen, and Chimney. It was Eddie. Hen and Chimney had said they forgave him day one but followed everyone else leading the silent treatments. They would just shake their heads at him and walk away whenever he opened his mouth to talk to them; ask them how they were; ask Hen how Karen and Denny were. Bobby was the only one that actually still really spoke to him; even if he couldn't really call it talking. The Captain would yell at him for not getting a chore done fast enough; or give him a longer list of chores to complete by the end of his shift.

Then there was Eddie. The silent treatment or angered words from his best friend hurt the most. Buck tried multiple times asking how Eddie was doing - the guy was still grieving for his wife after all - or about Christopher - the kid had lost his mother and then almost died in a tsunami. Eddie would always glare and practically growl, "We're not your problem anymore." before storming away. That hurt worse then walking into the locker room and Eddie instantly leaving; or walking towards the gym where Eddie is working out only for the older man to instantly stop and leave.

The kicker was not feeling welcome up in the loft with the rest of the team; whether that was for meals or just generally hanging out between calls. The first couple of days back he had tried; he had. But the looks he would get always made him feel small and like he was the nerd in high school trying to sit at the cool kids table. After the fourth day he just stopped trying to join the team for meals - opting to bring his own and eat them outside in the parking lot or in the locker room; if he even brought something at all. It was by the sixth day that he just stopped going up into the loft in general when everyone was around. The only time he would step foot on the stairs and ascend them would be when Bobby ordered him into his office - usually to yell or reprimand him for something small and stupid - or when they were out on calls so he could clean up after the crew; making sure to be back downstairs before they returned.

Three weeks with the cold shoulders and silent treatments and muttered insults was exhausting and hurt but Buck knew he needed to be patient. He had hurt them first and they had a right to be angry with him; he was angry with himself too. He still felt justified about filing the lawsuit; he just wishes he had done a little more thinking before being his normal impulsive and reckless self. Maybe then he wouldn't be on the outside looking in with his team; his family. Because that was what they still were to him; they would never be anything else. Bobby was his pseudo-father; Hen and Chimney annoying but loving older siblings; and Eddie... well Eddie was a different story. He was his best friend but since the day Eddie started Buck had always wished for more between them; especially after learning about Christopher.

Buck knew he had Maddie too; his biological family. But at the same time he really didn't. She finally had a good life with Chimney. After her horrible marriage to Doug, Buck was happy to see his sister so carefree and happy again. During the lawsuit she had tried to keep in touch with him but because of her dating Chimney, Buck didn't feel right about it. Then when he had finally dropped the suit and got his job back they had had lunch just the two of them but Buck still didn't feel right about pushing himself back into his sister's life again when she was finally so settled. As much as he needed his big sister he knew she didn't need him so he always made excuses about being busy; or tired from a long shift; or whatever else he could think of to not have dinner at hers with her and Chimney; or even lunch just the two of them.

He honestly wasn't sure if he was happy or disappointed that Chimney clearly wasn't telling Maddie the truth about his return to the station either as Buck knew if she knew the truth she would be storming his apartment instantly demanding answers - and then maybe storming the station demanding those same answers from the crew - and that was the last thing Buck needed. More ammo for others; Buckley needed his big sister to fight his battles for him. He wasn't a kid anymore, he could deal with things himself. With this - he just needed to be patient and keep his head down until everyone was ready to forgive him - or until Bobby decides to ship him over to another shift or even another station.

"Buck?"

Buck blinked as his body jerked at the sudden voice; dropping the mop he had been using to clean the bay floors since all the trucks were currently out of the way. He turned around to find Karen standing a few feet away; Denny at her side holding her hand. "Karen," He cleared his throat; having not spoken all day since his shift started seven hours ago. "Everything alright?"

"Uh, no." Karen sighed as she looked around. "I got a call that my sister is in the hospital." She finally looked back to Buck. "I was hoping to drop Denny off here with Hen but it looks like they're all out."

"Uh, yeah." Buck frowned as he looked down at his watch. "Been gone maybe an hour. Not sure when they'll be back." He looked down at Denny as the boy stretched out away from Karen to lean, his hand still encased in his mother's. "You uh, if it's an emergency you can leave him here. I can watch him..." He shrugged. "If you're comfortable with that, that is." He wasn't sure what Hen had told her wife about everything that had been going on.

"Are you sure?" Karen asked, "That would be a great help but you're working."

"Nah, it'll be fine. I can set him up with some crayons and paper upstairs while I clean up the kitchen." Buck shrugged again. "I'm sure Hen will be fine with it."

Karen nodded and then looked down at her son. "You okay staying with Buck until your mom comes back or I return to pick you back up?"

Denny looked at Buck and then up at his mother and nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, that's settled them." Buck smiled as he picked up the mop and dropped it into the bucket at his feet.

"Thank you, Buck." Karen returned his smile. "You're a life safer."

Buck shook his head. "Who wouldn't wanna hang out with a great kid like Denny?"

"Okay, listen to Buck." Karen turned back to her son. "Don't get in trouble."

"Yes, Mama." Denny sighed as he squirmed away from the kiss to his forehead.

Karen looked at Buck who was trying not to laugh but the smile on his face clearly showing he found it funny either way. Karen thanked him again before leaving Denny in his hands. Denny followed him to take care of the mop and bucket of water before heading outside to his jeep where he had an art kit - sketch pad and colored pencils. He usually kept the stuff in his locker for slow shifts but after an incident his second week back that involved someone using homemade slime and covering everything in his locker with it; he's kept all his personal items in his jeep for safe keeping; even his work bag.

Once they had the art supplies both Buck and Denny made their way upstairs. Buck set him up in the lounge area with a few pieces of paper from the sketch pad - tearing them out - and opening the wooden case of his drawing supplies; telling Denny to only use the colored pencils and not to touch the chalks, markers, pastels or paints. Denny had nodded and got to his coloring. Once he knew he was settled Buck went about cleaning up kitchen; keeping his eyes on Denny the whole time.

Roughly forty-five minutes later had Buck joining the boy in the lounge. Denny was on his knees leaning on the coffee table as he colored yet another picture; many already sprawled all over the table. Buck leaned back into the couch and took a few colored pencils for himself and grabbed up his sketch book. Eddie, Christopher and Maddie were the only ones who ever saw anything he ever drew. Most of his sketches were from his "people watching" before he had joined the 118; but once he became a firefighter that had changed.

Now his sketch books were filled with sketches of the other firefighters around him: Hen and Chimney restocking the ambulance; Bobby cooking in the kitchen; Eddie in the gym, or sitting in the locker room, playing video games with Hen and Chimney. Then there were family sketches; Hen with Karen and Denny; Bobby and Athena both with and without the kids (some Michael with the kids); Chimney and Maddie; Eddie and Christopher (and even some of Abuela and Pepa); of Carla. He also has a sketch book full of Abby (that one he tucked away in the back of his closet to never see the light of day again; he never throws them away).