Chapter 30

Disclaimer: The story "Hugs and Kisses" is written by THE best Jericho/Steph author EVER, DCFanatic4life (Nina). The song "Used To Be" belongs to Rich Ward (The Duke) and is on his kickass album, My Kung Fu Is Good. Great story and great song, so check them out when you get a chance!

He was watching her, and she was watching him. He hadn't laid eyes on her in almost two whole months, and he missed her with everything in him. He wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice, to just be able to share that closeness he'd shared with her not that long ago. The problem was, he didn't know how to approach her. That was rich, wasn't it? He'd made love to her, told her he loved her, shared so many meaningful moments with her, and now he didn't even know how to approach her.

He watched as her brother walked over to her and embraced her. She looked over at him, then whispered something into his ear, gesturing in his direction. Soon after, she pulled away and walked out of the room, while her brother headed in his direction.

"Chris," Shane said in a friendly tone.

"Shane," Chris said suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"It's not about what I want, Chris, it's about what you want," Shane said, smiling at him. "And I happen to know that you want my sister."

"Not anymore," Chris lied. "That's over now, all over..."

"She knows it, Chris, she knows that you want her," Shane went on, ignoring Chris's denial. "And she wants you, too..."

"She said that?"

"She said that."

"I don't believe you," Chris stated firmly. "I can't believe you."

"She's waiting for you," Shane continued. "She's waiting for you in your locker room, and she needs you to meet her there."

"Don't play with me, Shane," Chris warned, grabbing Shane by the collar of his expensive shirt. "You McMahon's have a tendency of playing with me and taunting me, and Stephanie, she broke me once..."

"She won't wait forever, Chris. Go now," Shane urged, not disturbed by the fact that Chris was holding him by the collar of his shirt. "She needs you."

"Why do you keep saying that she needs me? What's wrong with her?" Chris demanded, letting him go. "Tell me!"

"She needs you," Shane said again, smiling lightly as he fixed his shirt. "She won't wait forever. She'll think you're rejecting her."

"Just like she rejected me? Why not give her a taste of her own medicine?" Chris asked. He walked away before Shane could answer.

I just need to clear my mind, he thought as he began walking aimlessly through the hallways. He wondered if what Shane had said was true. Did Stephanie really want him back? That doesn't matter, he thought. I'm not taking her back. She won't break my heart again...

And yet, he still managed to find himself standing in front of his locker room a few moments later, one hand on the doorknob, wondering if she was really in there waiting on him, wanting him like Shane had said.

There was only one way to find out...

He stepped into his locker room and closed the door. He looked around, but didn't see her. He sighed, disappointed, and sat down heavily on the couch, closing his eyes.

"You thought I wasn't here, didn't you?"

He could feel her warm breath tickling his ear, could feel her lips brushing against his ear with every word she spoke, but he didn't say anything. This had to be a dream, it had to be, and he didn't want to wake up... So he kept his eyes closed, and his mouth as well.

"Chris," she whispered, brushing her lips over his cheek. "Say something..."

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, eyes still closed as he felt her straddling his lap. Instinctively, his hands went to her waist. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me that you love me," she said, cupping his face in her hands. "Open you eyes and see what's right in front of you, and tell me that you love me."

He opened his eyes and stared into hers. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she whispered back. "I never stopped loving you, even when I told you that I didn't. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, even Hunter... Especially Hunter..."

"I never stopped loving you, either, Stephanie," he told her, pulling her to him and kissing her. "I love you so much..."

Trish stood in the doorway of Chris's bedroom, shaking her head at the sad sight before her: Chris lying in bed, hugging a pillow and moaning Stephanie's name. "I never stopped loving you, either, Stephanie," she repeated, copying him in a mocking voice. She was so sick and tired of this.

It was the same thing every single night. He'd fall asleep and dream about Stephanie and he'd moan her name in his sleep. He'd asked her why she didn't love him, why she wouldn't let herself love him. Trish supposed that these were all questions that he wanted answers to, questions that he was too scared to ask Stephanie in real life... because maybe he was too scared to hear the answers.

She walked over to the bed, sat down, and touched his arm softly. "Chris, sweetie, wake up," she whispered, shaking his arm gently. "You're doing it again."

It took a while, but he finally snapped out of it and woke up. "What?" he asked irritably.

"You were doing it again," she said, knowing there was no need for her to say what "it" was. "I heard you from in the guest room."

"Sorry," he apologized quietly. "I know I should be moving on by now, but I can't stop dreaming about her. I guess somewhere deep inside, I keep hoping that maybe she'll change her mind and come back to me..." He looked away. "I know it's stupid. I'm stupid."

"No, you're not," she replied simply.

"Then tell me why I let myself fall for her in the first place," he demanded.

"Just for the same reason that I fell in love with her husband," she said, avoiding eye contact with him as she thought of Hunter. "Because I couldn't help it. Because you couldn't help it."

"You love that bastard?" he asked incredulously.

"I do, and he's not a bastard," she answered, patting him lightly on the arm. "Now get some sleep. We're leaving for the airport in a few hours..."

"Alright... Sorry again," he apologized, watching her leave the room.

"Not a problem... Get some rest," she replied, shutting the door behind her as she made her exit.

Chris laid back down in the bed and looked up at the ceiling in the dark, thinking. This was the third time he'd had the same dream about Stephanie in just as many days, and he wondered if it was some kind of sign. After that weird phone call from a week before, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He could remember the phone call and everything she'd said about how they would end up together and how he shouldn't give up on them.

"I don't want to give up on us, Stephanie," he said aloud. "But, with the way things have been, what other choice do I have?"

He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn't. "I don't even know why I try," he said with a sigh. He reached over and grabbed his phone. Opening the web browser, he went to his bookmarks and clicked on one of the links, the one that he knew would calm him down and help him fall into a calm, peaceful sleep...

He opened the box slowly, not knowing what could possibly be inside. He looked inside, and the only thing in the box was a key. It looked to be an antique, and it had an intricate design on it. Jericho looked at Stephanie wondering why she had gotten him a key.

"What's the key for, Steph?"

"Um, yeah, you know how you gave me my necklace," she said, holding up her necklace as a demonstration.

"Yeah," he said, still mystified by her gift.

"Well, I had to think of something as meaningful as this, because you said that this symbolized your heart."

"Uh-huh," he said nodding, still having no clue where this was going.

"Well, that's to represent that you have the key to my heart," she said softly, her gaze dropping, as if she were embarrassed or something. Tears formed in Jericho's eyes against his will at the thought of such a heartfelt gift.

"After Hunter broke my heart, when he humiliated me after I had stood by him for so long, I didn't want to give my heart to anyone, because they could so easily crush it like he did," Stephanie said, her gaze still on the ground. "But then you came along, and I don't know how, but you make me believe in happy endings Chris, and I wanted you to know that."

Chris sighed again as he finished reading Chapter 34 of Hugs and Kisses: The Beginning. After he finished, he closed the web browser and gently set his phone back on the nightstand, then closed his eyes. He drifted off into a restless sleep soon after, wondering why his life couldn't be as perfect as it was in the story he'd been reading... Why couldn't he just have that happy ending?

I don't know what the hell I'm saving anymore

Cause the emptiness and fear has left me crazy

Letting go of my faded smile and empty eyes

And the jealousy inside that kept me jaded

It was the next night at Raw, and Chris was completely and totally miserable. He hadn't been able to sleep much the night before, because as soon as he had fallen asleep, he had dreamt of Stephanie again. The dreams, they seemed so real to him, so for the rest of the night, he had stayed up reading more fan fiction, wondering why his relationship with Stephanie couldn't be as perfect as it was in the stories he'd been reading...

"Jericho," came a gruff voice, a voice that Chris recognized without even having to look up.

"What's up, Hunter?" Chris asked, not bothering to look up. He didn't want to look into the face of the man that still had Stephanie by his side...

"Oh, nothing," Hunter said, trying to make Chris look up. "We just wanted to stop by and say hi..."

We? Chris looked up to see who the "we" in question was, and he immediately regretted his decision. Standing there leaning against Hunter was Stephanie. She looked... Hell, what words could he use to describe the way she looked? She was a sight for sore eyes, a sight that made him both happy and depressed at the same time. When his eyes met hers, a slow smile involuntarily began to spread across his face, because for one fleeting moment, it seemed like things were the way they'd been just a short while before. She looked as beautiful as ever, just as beautiful as she always had. The only word he could use to describe her was vibrant. It seemed like she was glowing, literally, and that could only mean that she was happy...happy without him. As he saw Hunter's grip tighten around her, his smile slowly faded, and he looked away quickly, trying to swallow the jealousy that he felt, that overwhelming jealousy that felt like it would choke him if he didn't get away.

"Nothing to say, buddy?" Hunter asked, enjoying the uncomfortable silence and the tension between his soon to be ex-wife and the father of her child. He wanted Stephanie to crack under the pressure, to admit to Chris that she was carrying his child and was in the process of a speedy divorce. He deserved to know, but Hunter wasn't going to be the one to tell him. Stephanie was going to be the one to tell him, and Hunter was going to make sure of that.

"Actually, no, I was... I was, uh, just leaving," Chris stammered, looking up again just as Hunter whispered something into Stephanie's ear, then kissed the top of her head affectionately. Thoroughly disgusted by the display of affection and even more jealous of the fact that Hunter and Stephanie seemed to be officially back together, he turned and rushed away, wanting to be anywhere but there with them...

Stephanie watched him go, then leaned her head against Hunter's solid chest, one tear slipping out of her eyes and rolling slowly down her face as she visualized how suddenly empty Chris's eyes had looked when his smile had faded...

I miss the way it used to be

When everything was beautiful

You were there and I was sure

I miss the way it used to be

When anything was possible

Now all that was is dead and gone

"Hey, now, why are you crying?" Hunter asked, as if he didn't already know.

"I... I miss it," Stephanie whispered, looking down to the end of the hallway as Chris turned the corner and disappeared from her view.

"What do you miss?" he wanted to know.

"The way it used to be," she said softly, wiping her tears away. If Chris had been the one she was leaning against, he would've wiped her tears away, or more accurately, he would've kissed her tears away, one by one. She wished it was Chris. It was always him in her dreams, without fail, and, she reminded herself, it would be him again in less than two weeks...

That was, if he decided to take her back.

"Come on, we can go somewhere and talk about this," Hunter suggested, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Why would we talk?" she asked absently, biting her lip lightly.

"Because I'm your husband...or, I'm pretending to be your husband... Whatever," he said, confusing even himself. "I can just tell that you need to talk about something, so why don't we just go somewhere... My locker room?" She only nodded, and he placed one hand on her lower back as they walked down the hall, headed for his locker room.

"It was so beautiful," Stephanie said a few minutes later as she sat there on the leather couch. She leaned back and sighed, one hand on her stomach, gently rubbing it.

"What was beautiful?" Hunter asked curiously, observing her. She had this far away, almost nostalgic look in her eyes as she looked off into space. He had no doubts that she was thinking about times she had shared with Chris. Did she really think Hunter didn't know by now that Chris was her mystery man? That she was hopelessly in love with Chris and was pregnant with his child? If she honestly thought that he didn't know, then he would be forced to question her intelligence. But he wouldn't let on that he knew. He would let her admit it...

"What Chris and I used to have," she answered simply, still looking away. "He was there for me, he was my rock when things got rough with you... Our friendship was beautiful, he was beautiful..." Her voice trailed off and there was silence before she spoke again. "And now we're not friends anymore, and now... Now I'm not so sure about anything."

"You know, I'm kind of curious as to why you two aren't friends anymore," he said, leaning back on the couch and looking intently at her. "I mean, you guys were damn near inseparable. You two went from hanging out all the time to... Well, to not even talking at all."

"I know." She looked down at her hands. I guess that's more my fault than his, though. I can't blame him for any of what happened. I mean, how long did I really expect for him to keep putting up with...with everything? No, I can't blame him..."

"What exactly happened? The last time I really saw you two together, he was, like, storming out of our house and then that was it," he said. "I'm confused about the whole situation. It's like he went from being around all the time to not being around at all."

"We had an argument," was all she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"We just did, ok?" she said, closing her eyes.

"But for you guys to stop hanging out, I mean, it must've been pretty serious," he said. He paused, looking at her face, contemplating on whether or not he should speak his mind. He'd said that he wouldn't say anything, wouldn't let on that he knew who her guy was, but he just couldn't close his big mouth... "Does he even know that you're carrying his child?"

My reflection tells me all I need to know

And my grip is surely slipping from what is real

This infection has been here from the start

Now the darkness comes, looking for a soul to steal

"How did you... What... What are you talking about?" Stephanie managed to ask, looking at Hunter with wide eyes. Had he really just asked her what she thought he'd just asked her? Or had she just imagined that he'd asked her if Chris knew that she was carrying his child?

"Stephanie, I know... I know about you and Chris," Hunter said, placing one hand on her knee. "I know that he's the one you were with, that guy you told me about when you were in the hospital and you told me that the baby you're carrying isn't mine..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, looking away. "How could you suggest that Chris and I have ever been anything more than just friends?"

"Look, you don't have to cover it up anymore. It's all so obvious to me now," he said seriously. "Besides, he already admitted it when I talked to him a few days ago."

"You talked to him? What did he say?" she asked anxiously. "Did he say that he hates me or-"

"He doesn't hate you, Stephanie. He's more in love with you than ever. If he hates anyone, it's himself, because he doesn't know what it was about him that made you stay with me," he replied, cutting her off.

"I'm not staying with you. Our divorce will be finalized by the end of this week," she pointed out. "We'll no longer be married and I'm going to be with Chris."

"I know that," he replied, squeezing her leg lightly. "But Jericho? He doesn't know that, and he doesn't know that you love him... Maybe you ought to tell him before he does something crazy."

"I can't tell him yet," she said, getting to her feet. "I wanted to wait until everything was done with the divorce and then approach him."

"And you can do that," he agreed, nodding his head. "But Steph, you have to let him know that there's some kind of hope left or something. He loves you more than anything, and it's killing him, the way things are right now. Did you not see how empty his eyes looked when he left us in the hallway?"

"I saw," she said quietly. She looked down at her feet, then back at him. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back later."

"Don't rush. I have something to do anyway," he said with a small smile. "I won't even be in here." He watched her nod, then disappear from the room. A few minutes later, he got up and left the room as well, heading for Trish's locker room so he could talk to the woman he loved...

Meanwhile, Stephanie stepped into the bathroom and headed straight for the sink. She was still kind of shocked over what Hunter had said. He knew that this baby was Chris's? He knew that it had been Chris all along? More importantly, he'd talked to Chris and found out that he still loved her?

It was all so much to take in! She splashed some cold water on her face, then dried it and looked into the mirror, really looked. She did love Chris, she did, and he should know that, but despite that, she still wanted to wait until the divorce was over with. She wanted to be able to give herself to him fully, not with a husband on the side. She was going to do this the right way... But looking at her reflection in the mirror, it was like she couldn't see herself. All she could see was the look on Chris's face when she'd told him that she didn't know if she was in love with him or not, and she could see the look on his face from earlier back in the hallway... He was hurting, and it was all her fault.

Hunter was right. She would have to let Chris know that there was hope for them, if only he could hold out for just a little longer...

I miss the way it used to be

When everything was beautiful

You were there and I was sure

I miss the way it used to be

When anything was possible

Now all that was is dead and gone

She was standing in front of his locker room, one hand poised to knock, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She was too nervous... Why was she nervous? It was just Chris, after all! It's only the love of my life... It's only the man who was here for me when I needed him, the man that I hurt for absolutely no reason at all... What if Hunter was lying? What if Chris hates my guts? All the thoughts assaulted her mind at once, and it was so overwhelming that she had to lean against the door for a minute to gather her bearings...

And at that moment, the door swung open.

Stephanie felt herself falling as the door opened, and she instinctively tried to protect her stomach... She closed her eyes and actually tried to prepare herself for falling, tried to think of a way she could fall without landing on her stomach, tried to prepare for the inevitable pain...

Only, she never hit the floor, because Chris was there to catch her.

Just like always.

Will you miss me when I'm gone?

When all that's left are the memories

Of the way it could have been

And the way it should have been

And the way it used to be

"Ste..." Chris couldn't even get her name out. He was just so shocked at the fact that she was in his arms. "What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

"I need to talk to you," Stephanie answered, looking up into his eyes as he clutched her tightly. She held on to him tightly as well as she stared into those mesmerizing eyes of his, those ones that she could so easily get lost in. "Um, thanks for catching me."

"Yeah, whatever," he answered, helping her stand up straight again and letting her go, even though he didn't want to let her go. "What did you need to say to me?"

"Hunter told me that he talked to you the other day," she began.

"What's it to you? Are you mad that I told him I was the one?" he asked, frowning a little. "Are you mad because I told him what's been going on with us...or rather, what happened between us over these past few months, because there's no us now. All that's left of us now are memories... Good memories, but they're just memories."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," she said, still holding on to him. She didn't want to let him go. "I-"

"What? You miss me now?" he asked, interrupting her. "Are you here to tell me that you miss me, now that you see what it's like without me? Now that you see what it's like when I'm gone?"

"I do miss you," she said quietly, looking down. "I miss you so much, Chris, and I just wanted you to know that there's still hope for us..."

"There's not even an 'us' anymore, Steph. You and Hunter are obviously back together again," he said, spitting the words out like they tasted nasty, and to him, they did. "Like I said before, all we have now are memories of the way things were..."

"The way things still can be, Chris, if you just wait a little longer for me," she cut in, looking into his eyes. "I know I said some things, ok? But something's going on right now, something that you don't know about yet... And I can't tell you what that is right now, but it's-"

"Whatever it is, it's not going to make us the way we used to be, is it?" he asked, cutting her off. He didn't wait for her to speak again. "It's never going to be the way it was before. I've realized that now..."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she said, one hand still holding on to him. "I know that you're hurting, Chris, but I promise, things can go back to the way they were before, you'll see..."

"They won't, because you and I? We're through," he said shortly, turning and beginning to walk away.

I miss the way it used to be

When everything was beautiful

You were there and I was sure

I miss the way I used to feel

When anything was possible

Now all that was is dead and gone

She watched him walk away for a second before going after him. "And just where do you think you're going, Jericho?" she demanded, grabbing his arm when she caught up with him. "Gonna walk away from me again?"

"Why not, huh?" he asked, masking his shock over the fact that she'd come after him this time. "There's no reason for me to stay here."

She closed her eyes and cursed under her breath for a minute, then opened her eyes and looked at him. "There are a lot of reasons you should stay here. As a matter of fact, there are two really big ones that I could name right now that would knock your socks off... But I can't tell you what those reasons are just yet."

"Then how do you expect for me to stay?" he asked logically.

"I just need you to trust me," she answered in a low voice. "Just trust me, because without you in my life, Chris, I'm not sure about anything, ok? When I had you, everything was great, everything was beautiful...and now? I just..." Her voice trailed off as she stepped closer and put her arms around him. "Just trust me for now," she pleaded.

"I would've, Steph, a couple of weeks ago, I would've trusted you without question, but look where that got me. Look what you've done to me," he whispered as his arms pulled her closer. "You hurt me, you rejected me, and it's like now whatever we had is just...dead."

"If it's so dead, why are your arms around me? Why are you holding me?" she whispered back. "Why are you going to let me kiss you?"

"I'm not," he said, but he didn't sound very convincing.

She kissed him lightly, and she felt him kiss her back. It was difficult for her to pull back when she wanted him so much, but she managed to break the kiss and pull back to stare into his eyes. "Meet me next week on Raw, ok? I have something important to tell you..." He didn't say anything, just stood there looking at her, and she pulled away from him and walked away without another word.

I miss the way it used to be

When everything was beautiful

You were there and I was sure

I miss the way it used to be

When everything was beautiful

Now all that was is dead and gone

Chris opened the door to Trish's locker room and walked inside. He shut the door behind him and sat down in a steel chair, staring at nothing in particular, thinking about what had just happened. What was he supposed to do? He wanted to be with her, he did, but what if she was just going to do what she'd done to him before? What if she was going to play with his emotions and make him believe that she loved him, only to tell him otherwise a few months later? And besides, wasn't she back with her husband now?

"Chris... I didn't know you were in here," Trish said, coming into the room. He looked up at her with an expression on his face that gave her the sense that he was completely lost. She walked over to him. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"What do you think? It's Stephanie," he replied, putting his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do about her. I talked to her and-"

"You talked to her?" she interrupted. "When did that happen?"

"She came looking for me a little while ago. I opened the door and she literally fell into my arms," he recalled. "She started going on and on about how she missed the way things were between us and how if I can just wait a little longer then we can be together."

"She said all that?" she asked, smiling widely.

"Yeah," he said, looking up. "What are you smiling for? Do you know something I don't know?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," she said mysteriously. "Now what happened?"

"She basically asked me to meet her next week on Raw, but Trish, I don't know if I can," he said, raking his fingers through his hair.

"And why can't you?" she demanded. "This is what you've been dreaming about! This is what you've been waiting for."

"It is, but reality can never compare to dreams," he said, sounding a little sad. "And that's why... That's why I'm not going to meet her next week. I can't let her break me again."

"You're not making any sense at all, Chris Jericho. You love her and you are going to meet her next week, do you hear me?" she asked him in a completely serious tone. He looked surprised, and she raised one eyebrow. "Do you hear me?"

"I hear you," he agreed finally. He sighed and sat back in the chair. "So I'm meeting her next week, a week from tonight."

"That's right," she said, smiling again. "And maybe you'll get that happy ending you've been dreaming about..."

"Yeah, right," he mumbled under his breath, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was right. Was it possible? Could he have that so-called "happy ending" with Stephanie?

He'd just have to find out next Monday night...

A/N: Not pleased with this chapter at all... It's pretty long, isn't it? I liked the beginning, the part that had part of HaK in it (because that's just an amazing story), but the rest of it? Eh, it could've been better. Perhaps I shouldn't have included "Used To Be" in this chapter. It all worked out so perfectly in my mind and then when I started typing it, I got lost, LOL! Please review anyway, though, this thing almost has a hundred reviews! Also, to give you guys a heads up, I think this story will be ending pretty soon...maybe in the next chapter, which I have NO idea when it'll be up...