Chapter 24
Demons
AN: Hey all, major correction on the last author's note from the previous chapter. At the end of the chapter, I wrote the following: 'He really does mean to be a jerk.'
LMAO! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for even making that mistake! I'd posted it and then went to go reread my author's comment and then caught it. My heart dropped! Of course he DOESN'T mean to be a jerk! LOL…Love Kenshin…Love Kenshin!
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The following day after Kaoru had stayed the night, Mr. Himura arrived at the hospital early in the morning.
Kenshin was still napping and she'd already gone downstairs for a quick bite to eat and some tea. As she went to enter his room, she could hear mumbling through the slightly ajar door. Not wanting to intrude considering it could've been a nurse or doctor she waited just outside and inadvertently heard everything.
"You don't need to be here, so why don't you just leave!" She knew Kenshin's smooth baritone voice anywhere, but he was highly agitated by the sound of his tone.
"I don't want to intrude in on your life, but don't forget you are my son" came a stern response.
"That's his father" she thought feeling awkward that she could hear everything and yet was unable to move away from the conversation. "Fight again…"
"Intrude in on my life? What in the hell are you talking about? Now all of a sudden you care about what happens to me? This is BULLSHIT!"
"Don't talk that way to me. I'm still your father and I think I've given you enough time to vent about the past."
"Oh god, in the hospital guys?" she looked around nervously and prayed their voices wouldn't carry over to the staff and other patients.
"The past? Oh so that's what we're calling your wife now right. The past! She's dead and gone so just forget about her and everything that happened right? I'm still her son damnit and I can't forget what you did to her." Kenshin's voice grew louder and Kaoru gripped the tea cup tightly in her hand out of nervousness.
"Kenshin I never said forget about your mother. I…I don't know how to explain to you…"
"JUST GET THE HELL OUT!"
"Just listen for a second Kenshin!" the man grew more impatient.
"Listen to what? Your excuses? Your lies? It's all too little too late Mr. Himura" his last words were coated with bitterness. "You know what? You don't want to leave, than I will…"
With that Kaoru heard the fumbling and ruffling of sheets and creaking of the bed. "Oh my gosh…" she ran inside throwing the door open and went straight towards him.
"Kenshin! You're not supposed to moving around like this!" she screeched putting her tea cup down and her hands on his chest. He looked miserable, like a trapped animal trying to claw his way out. He was sitting up at the edge of the bed with his feet already on the ground.
"No Kaoru! Just…just let me be!" he argued.
"KENSHIN! Please!" she begged. She looked over at the man standing at the foot of the bed and pleaded mentally with him. "Please just leave for now!"
He got the message and promptly walked out, "I'll send the nurse in."
Kenshin glared angrily towards the retreating form of his father and finally calmed down. Kaoru continued to look down over him and helped him lay back. She was at the edge of tears once again as her already frazzled nerves threatened to completely give way.
She sat down at the edge of his bed and gently soothed his bangs out of his face. "Kenshin…"
He snapped out of his angry glare and looked up at her as if seeing her for the first time. Gently stroking her face his demeanor softened, "I'm alright…" his tone was back to the smooth, calm melody she loved, "I don't know what I would do without you."
She smiled faintly at him and he couldn't help but see the fatigue in her brilliant blue eyes. "As much as I hate to say this, you should probably go home and rest. You look like you could use some time, although you're welcome to join me in my bed" he smiled.
Kaoru rolled her eyes and laughed, "I think you're a bit bi-polar you know that?"
He chuckled and tugged at her ear playfully. "Call Sano to pick you up after school and take you home. Or, if that jackass is still around tell him to take you home."
"Jackass?" she thought momentarily before figuring out who he was referring to.
"Kenshin, don't call him that. He's your dad" she chastised.
"Yea" he started angrily and added dryly, "right!"
She wanted to continue on with that but figured it wasn't the right time. "He'll just get angry again and end up doing something stupid to agitate his wounds." She decided to save it for another time, "Soon though!"
A little while later, she called Sano and Misao and they both confirmed that they would be visiting shortly after school. Kaoru walked out of the room to find his father while Kenshin spoke to Sano over the phone.
She found him at the same spot as the night before, by the large window. "Oh great, what do I say to him now?"
He looked at her as she walked up to him and did his best to smile, although it faded quickly and he averted his gaze back out the window. "His anger really reminds me of myself at his age."
"You should really sit down with him and talk this out once he's home. It'll take time, but I'm sure…Kenshin's not entirely stubborn, all the time" she added.
He chuckled, "He's my son Kaoru, and he is very stubborn just like his father." He turned to the young girl, "I'm glad that you're there to calm him, he really needed someone like you in his life."
"And here I thought it was me being the needy one" she thought.
"I'm glad to have him in my life Mr. Himura."
"Call me Hiko dear."
"Um, I don't think I can. He's my fathers age!" she thought and replied only with a smile.
"You will try to make things better between yourselves right? Just as soon as he comes home!"
He inhaled and sighed heavily, "I don't know Kaoru. Kenshin and I haven't been eye to eye since his mother passed away. And you saw how we were at each other throats in there. I just-I thought I'd given him enough time to grieve, but I was wrong, again."
"There's no definite grieving period for what you both have been through, and what if he's in grieving for the rest of his life? You two have to make up for so much already, why not start now? No one said it would be easy, but you're his father. You're older, wiser, and should be more patient with him. And if he's your son and you know him so well, then you of all people should understand what he's going through right now."
He looked at her thoroughly impressed, "You're very mature for your age young lady, and very wise. Kenshin is a lot smarter than I thought."
"Oh god, there he goes again" she blushed.
"I spoke to your mother by the way, last night after I left here."
Her heart dropped momentarily and she wondered what that conversation was like.
"Oh?" she inquired.
"Yes, it seemed only right since her daughter was out of the house in the middle of the night. She's seems like a very hardworking and caring woman and is very dedicated to you and your brother. I told her about you staying the night at the hospital with Kenshin and how much I appreciated it."
"God, that doesn't sound bad" she thought sarcastically. "What did he get the entire family history?" She laughed uncomfortably, "She works way too hard sometimes."
"Either way she's very proud of you, and I'm a lot more comfortable knowing that she's okay with you and Kenshin. I wouldn't want my son to do something dishonorable."
"Dishonorable? Eh?"
He continued, "She ah, told me about the situation with your father."
"What? Dad? What did she say about…oh god, not about the drinking I hope! Please no! This is so embarrassing!"
"Yes, I'm not entirely comfortable with the notion that your father isn't in agreement over your relationship with Kenshin. But your mother assured me that she'd met Kenshin and was very happy with him. That puts my mind at ease somewhat since I won't have to explain to yet another set of parents what my boy with doing with their daughter."
Kaoru was relieved to hear nothing about the drinking. "I guess mom's not entirely ready to give up on the old comfortable lie either! Wait! Another set of parents? Gees, casanova has some questions to answer."
"I know this is hard for you, but I also now understand why you're so mature for your years. I'm so sorry to hear about your father and his troubles and I wish there were better words for the situation. It really is a sickness sometimes" he looked sadly towards the girl.
"So he does know" it slammed into her and she averted her gaze. "It's nothing. We've learned to deal with it and there's really nothing more to say other than that."
"You're really an impressive young lady Kaoru and your mother speaks so highly of you. I hope Kenshin knows how lucky he is."
She turned to him and chuckled, holding back her bitter tears, "I hope he also gets better soon!" She desperately needed to change the topic. It was one thing to open up to Kenshin about all this, but his father? "No this is-I feel like I'm in a therapy session. Argh…why did mom talk to him about that?"
"I better go check on Kenshin. Sano and Misao will be here soon to take me home so you can go on ahead. I'll be back either later tonight or tomorrow, I'm not sure yet."
Hiko understood her emotions and let the girl have her space, "Alright. I guess I should find his doctor and then head home. There's no point in the both of us getting at each other's throats in here again."
"Promise that you'll make things right with him when all of this is over!" she added.
He looked at her for several seconds and finally answered "I'll try my best. I promise."
With that the two went on their way; Kaoru back towards Keshin's room and Hiko into the elevator car. She walked back into the room and found the red-head impatiently flipping through TV channels.
"Where'd you go?" he asked not tearing his gaze from the TV stationed up high on the wall.
She sat down in the chair next to him, still thinking about her conversation with his father. "I-I was talking to your dad" she replied as casually as possible.
He looked at her, "What? Damn man! What did he say to you?" he asked irritably.
"Calm down! He called my mom and spoke to her just letting her know how much he appreciated me being here for you. You know? Like parent to parent type of thing. Mutual respect!"
"I don't know why he feels the need to do all of this now."
"He's your dad Ken…"
"So what?" he snapped. "Just-Just don't argue with me about him okay?" Then just as quickly he changed his tone, "I just want to spend some time with you in peace and quiet." He looked longingly at her.
"I wasn't arguing with you Kenshin" she explained while keeping a tight lid on her own frustration towards him. "He was really nice and sweet to me and I respect him a lot."
"That's because you have no clue" he added coolly.
She could've nearly ripped his head off, "I-You're right! I have no clue. Because guess what? YOU DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING! I open up to you about everything: past, present and even future. But talking to you sometimes…I-it's like you don't want me to know about you."
"MAYBE I DON'T!" he yelled. For the first time she'd seen the intensity of anger swirling in gold rims around the amethyst in his normally serene eyes.
"WHY?" she yelled back stubbornly.
"Because maybe I think that you won't like what you'll find when you dig into my past" he snapped back without thinking.
"What?" she calmed down and lowered her voice. The tone of his voice and the look on his face were tinged with bitterness and grief.
"Kaoru the reason why I don't want you to know is because I", he bowed his head and red bangs hid his eyes from her, "-I don't want you to hate me once you find out…" The normally smooth baritone voice came out as an edgy whisper.
"Kenshin" she reached out taking his hand into hers and patted the rough surface, "I love you no matter what, so please tell me."
He was silent and remained in the same position for several seconds as she continued to stare at him and gently soothed the back of his hand. She decidedly stayed quiet and waited for him to gather his thoughts.
"Whenever I see you cry I think about all the times that my mother cried for my father. I think about all the times that I caused pain to all the people I hurt in my past. I see their pain in your face when you're hurt. I wasn't a good person back then. I didn't care for a second who I hurt or even how much. The amount of-" he stopped in shame. "How can I tell you Kaoru? You'll hate me so much…"
Kaoru remained quiet and waited for him to continue. When he didn't she gently reached out and caressed his cheek under the long bangs framing his face. He inhaled her soft fragrance and melted under her touch.
He willed himself to continue, "I-I got into fights, picked fights and enjoyed every minute of it. I was a liar, a cheat, a thug, an asshole. Every girl I met, I thought she was my personal play toy. I was with her for as long as I was interested, and then just put her aside and moved on. I really hurt them, but just didn't care."
Kaoru listened intently to him. The words reverberated throughout her body and mind, but she also felt the deep regret and sadness in his voice. He spoke softly and thoughtfully. For the first time she felt him opening up to her with his deepest fears.
"When I think about it, it kills me to know what I did. Then I look at you" he looked up at her, with tears filling in his eyes, "and I realize how much I don't deserve you in my life."
She was in shock over seeing the otherwise strong, confident and bold red-head completely broken and torn over his emotions. Of all people, she would've never guessed he carried so much guilt and heartache inside of him. "Why didn't you just tell me this sooner Kenshin?" she thought.
He took a deep breath and looked blankly forward, "You're always giving me 100 all the time, and then I go and screw it up. Like the other day when we were driving together. I knew you were scared and I was screaming at myself to stop, but…I didn't. I thought about that the entire time I was helping Sano, I thought about you."
This time he wanted her to say something to him and looked back towards her. "Say something K."
Kaoru was utterly confused and didn't know how to begin a sentence and answer him. "I-I don't know what to say Kenshin. Why did you want to be with me so badly if you were so scared I'd leave you?" She didn't know where the question came from, or why she asked it, but something inside of her needed to know.
Kenshin looked thoughtfully at her and placed his hand on the side of her face. "Because when we met you showed me what pain felt like, the same pain I made everyone else feel. I was so numb and just stopped caring, but seeing you so sad over your dad I realized that there was nothing in this world I wouldn't do to see you always smiling and laughing. Your smile is so beautiful Kaoru and it helps me forget about all the tears I caused."
He bowed his head down again and her heart wrenched with pain. She rose and sat down on the bed next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, "Kenshin…" she whispered.
A tear rolled down his cheek and he met her eyes once more. For the first time Kaoru saw him crying, jewel-tone amethyst eyes drenched in sorrow. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, but it scares me to death to even think about loosing you. Why would you want to be with someone like me? I-I don't know what I would do…" she didn't let him finish and enclosed him in a tight embrace.
She let him cling to her and cry silently and knew that she needed to be just as close to him. Her tears spilled silently down her face and she hugged him tighter against herself. "I love you no matter what Kenshin" she whispered in his ear. "You're not a bad person and I don't care what's in your past. From now on it's me and you and I promise to always be by your side."
"I promise Kenshin, I'll always be there for you the way you were there for me…now and forever" she closed her eyes and sunk deeper against him as everything else faded away.
END CHAPTER 24
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Well, hoped you guys enjoyed it. So we finally know what's always up Kenshin's butt when he's snapping at our girl Kaoru. I started writing this chapter with something else in mind, and actually deleted the entire page and rewrote it. I think I've already mentioned a million times that this is based on real events with a few of my fantasies thrown in for drama, and I was just a bit confused as to which events to use during this particular chapter.
Then
when I was almost finished writing it, I realized how similar it
sounds to the original story about the wondering Rorouni. His past
was slightly bloodier of course. The funny thing is I didn't
intentionally want to make it similar or even based on the original
story. It's funny how life imitates art neh?
Well I think this will be it for the rough patch between Kenshin and Kaoru. I really am done putting these two through so much turmoil…lol, that and they still have to deal with a few outside disturbances.
I know that I want to continue for just a few more chapters before it's wrapped up. Neatly? I don't know…life really doesn't wrap up neatly or perfectly…
Well anyhow, please do leave a review. Tell me what you think and where you think this should go from here. I have a set of ideas, but I'm curious to know what you guys think.
Thanks for the continued support!
