The Will of Love

Chapter 1: Slow Motion

"I've got a crack in my windshield

I know exactly how it feels

It's coming apart the hard way

It gets a little more shattered each day"

Mac Taylor's heart broke that September day when the towers fell with his wife inside. They were in the same city, not that far apart, and he could do nothing to save her. Even if he could have reached Claire, Mac probably wouldn't have made it out in time. It took all Stella's strength to keep him in his office and not let him go out to save her. Each day it got harder for Mac to live and eventually he just lost it. Mac went to Stella's late one night and finally cried for his wife. As usual, Stella was there for him.

"Oh oh oh, I'm breaking slow motion
Oh oh oh, how did it hit me so fast
It hurts so bad, it hurts so bad
Somebody tell me how long it will last
'Cause oh oh oh, I'm breaking in slow motion"

"Stel, how long is this going to last? I can't sleep or anything," Mac asked Stella as he hugged her tightly one night at her apartment. She had insisted he come over and let her cook him dinner a year after Claire's death.

"I don't know, Mac. You should at least try to get some sleep," Stella said gently pulling away.

"I can't sleep; all I see is Claire in the towers," Mac said holding her tighter. "Get some sleep, Stel; I'll stay here with you unless you don't want me to."

"No, I don't mind," Stella smiled inwardly to herself. She had always loved Mac and was jealous when he married Claire. Still, she was really worried about him.

While she goes to get ready for bed Mac makes himself a bed on the couch, thinking she would be uncomfortable if he slept in bed with her. "Are you seriously going to sleep on the couch, Mac?" He turns to find the brunette leaning against her bedroom doorway watching him.

"Yeah, where do you want me to sleep?" he asks watching her intently. She walks over to him and grabs his arm.

"In here with me," Stella drags him to the bedroom and climbs into her bed. When he doesn't follow, she pats beside her. "C'mon, Mac. You're the one who wanted to stay." Realizing she was right, Mac climbs in next to her. Soon he was fast asleep, and he didn't have his usual nightmare.

"Feels like I'm frozen in a dream
I can't run, can't even scream
I'm trying to fight but I can't get my fist up
How does somebody get so messed up"

Stella was in his office again, bugging him about getting over Claire's death. He had wanted to scream at her but couldn't after all she has done for him. If she didn't leave soon, he might find his courage and give her something more to worry about.

"Stel, leave now."

"No, what are you going to do if I don't?"

"Leave or you're fired."

"You wouldn't fire me. And even if you did, I'd still come and check on you. Firing me would only make your job harder. But that's what you want, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about, Stella?"

"You want to bury yourself in work because you are trying to forget your wife. More time here at work means less time for you to sit at home alone and think about her."

"Stel, my life has been a mess since she died. I'm still not over her. Just leave me alone," Mac suddenly had the urge to punch her.

The chief stood outside Mac's office watching them. Seeing Mac make his hands into fist, he decided he should stop this fight. "What's going on in here?"

"Nothing. Stella was just about to leave."

"I was not. We are not through here, Mac," and with that she storms off. The chief was glad to see her leave, which was quite unusual, not hurt, although he still did not particularly care for her. He gives Mac a warning look and leaves him standing there. All he can think about is what Stella had said.

"Let go, let go
Why can't I make myself do it
I don't know
Oh..."

'Why can't I let Claire go? She is dead and there's nothing I can do about it,' Mac thinks as he lays on the couch later that evening. 'Because I love her,' he answers himself.

A knock on the door wakes him from his thoughts. He opens the door to find Stella. She throws herself into his arms, "I'm sorry, Mac. I know you love her a lot."

Mac shut the door with her still clinging to his neck. Suddenly he hears a quiet sob. 'Was Stella crying? She never cries.' When she lets go he sees that she does have tears in her eyes.

Although he knows it will take a while to get over Claire, Mac has found someone to help him. Stella has been and will always be there for him.

"Oh oh oh, I'm breaking slow motion
Oh oh oh, how did it hit me so fast
It hurts so bad, it hurts so bad
Somebody tell me how long it will last
'Cause oh oh oh, I'm breaking in slow motion"


A/N: The song is "Slow Motion" by Big and Rich. Please Review. I already have the whole story written and I will try to type it as soon as I can. Thanks.