The shooting affected everybody in different ways. Toby's friend died, and his other friends rejected him. Jimmy was shot. He can never walk again. His basketball career, his future, everything is over for him now. Ellie lost her boyfriend. Spinner lost his friends because he played a prank on the wrong guy at the wrong time. And Rick lost everything. His pride, his glory, his life. He was humiliated during what should have been the highest point in his life. Spinner and Jay and Alex ruined that for him.
And I? I had to watch somebody die. And the only person that could help me was the one who killed him and he moved back in with his parents. I lost myself. I wasn't Emma 'Save the Trees' Nelson anymore. I was Emma—gonorrhea slut, blowjob whore, ravine prostitute. I had, after all, given Jay a blowjob for those stupid bracelets. That's considered prostitution. I hoped nobody else put that together.
I didn't know what I was going to do or how I was going to turn out in the long run. I felt ruined. Like I was nothing. Useless. Cheap. Immoral. I just wished that somebody could help me. There had to be someone who could save me.