The Will of Love Chapter 4: Some People, a csi: new york fanfic

Chapter 4: Some People

"Isn't it a gamble
Layin' your heart out on the floor
Nothin' short of a miracle
When you find the one you're looking for
It's another kind of trouble trying to hang on to who you are
When all you wanna do is lose yourself in someone else's arms
Isn't it a wonder that we got this far"

"You know, we can't tell anyone at the lab about us."

"Why?"

"Well first they would all say told you so and joke about it. Second I would be fired because it is against protocol for us to have a relationship."

"The first you're probably right about, but why do you think you would be fired over me?"

"Come on, Mac, you've seen all the marks on my record."

"Oh," Mac pauses, "but we are lucky to have each other."

"Yes. If anything happens, our friendship is gone."

"Well, we will just have to be careful. Thank you, Stella," Mac says leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"For what?"

"Being a great friend through everything and more."

"In that case, Detective Taylor, thank you for letting me be a friend," she kisses him softly, still afraid that he is not ready for a relationship.

"Some people aren't lucky like us
Some people they just give up
When the hard times fall
The thrill of it all is gone
Leaves you in a cloud of dust
It's sad to think that some won't find it
And others won't recognize it even when it comes
We're all at the mercy of the will of love
Some people yeah
Some people aren't lucky like us"

Stella sits on the couch while Mac cleans up the kitchen after dinner. Stella is daydreaming when Mac comes in and sits down next to her. "So, what do you what to talk about?"

"Huh? I don't know," Stella replies.

Mac thinks for a while. "What were you like as a kid?"

"Um, well, I never really had any friends except the one girl at the orphanage, but she left after a while. I was always the first one to answer science and math questions. And always asking questions trying to find out more about my background," Stella answers, shocked to find herself telling Mac what she has kept hidden for so long.

"Your friend was adopted then?"

"Yeah, and I later found out she was being abused. They told me she had gone to a better place," Stella feels sad, now knowing what that means. "What were you like?"

Mac tells her some of his memories as a kid and tries to turn the conversation back to her, because he is very interested in what she is hiding from everyone.

"Why do you keep asking all of these questions, Mac?" Stella asks quietly. Mac was now making her feel uncomfortable, but he doesn't realize it.

"Two lonely souls that just stumbled into fate
Look how much we've been given babe
In spite of all of our mistakes
And I will never forget I've been blessed with the gift of lovin' you
And when the going ain't easy babe
A little faith will pull us through
Thank God we have each other we can hang onto"

"Something wrong, Stel?" Mac asks as she moves away from him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Mac. It has nothing to do with us. Why do you even care about my childhood? I grew up in an orphanage and that is all you need to know," she yells as he tries to hug her.

"I love you, Stella. And you are always telling me to open up. You don't tell me much about yourself and I guess it seems that you're ashamed or embarrassed or you're hiding something, Stel," Mac gives on trying to physically comfort her.

"You don't know what I grew up with, Mac. You don't know what it feels like to have no family. Face it, Mac, you don't know much about me and probably will never find out," Stella storms out the door.

Mac knows better than to follow her. It would just upset her more, so he just stands there watching her leave.

Stella has tears running down her cheeks as she walks to her apartment. 'How could he do this to me,' she thinks. When she gets home, she takes a cold shower as she normally does when she gets upset about something.

"To have someone you can laugh with
Someone you can cry with
Tell all your secrets to
To have someone who won't judge you
Someone who just loves you
No matter what, they stand beside you"

Mac and Stella do not talk to each other for the next week unless it is about work. Danny and Lindsay are sure something happened as they had become very friendly towards each other lately until now, but they were afraid to ask for fear of getting their head ripped off.

Mac felt like his whole world was lost without Stella with him. He wanted to apologize for upsetting her, but was afraid he would just hurt her more if he talked to her. He had seen what she had done to Frankie after what he had done to her (not that you could blame her). Stella, he also knew, would not apologize, so it was up to him to make peace between them, even if it meant just being friends.

Stella had cried almost every night over Mac; she had lost her best friend, the only true friend she has had in her life. Mac had taken it too far. It was true: Mac had opened up a lot to her over the past three years and she hadn't given him anything in return. Her childhood was something that she didn't want anyone to know about. Maybe someday she would tell her best friend, but not know. Stella was too stubborn to apologize: 'It's his fault we're not together.'

Both knew that they couldn't be partners and friends like this.

A/N: "Some People" by LeAnn Rimes. Yeah, I don't know what happens with Stella and Frankie, but I think he tries to kill her and she ends up killing him, which he deserves after what was on that website. I hope her and Mac get together. You can tell there is something between them and also between Danny and Lindsay. Please review. I'll be kind of busy tomorrow, but I'll try to get another chapter up soon.