At The End of The Day
Authors Thoughts: Those were harsh words by Haley huh? She didn't mean them the way they sounded but Nathan doesn't know that therefore he's almost blind sighted by her words. This chapter deals with the ramifications of that, and it's a little angsty. But this obviously isn't the end. And just for clarification it picks up right around where the last chapter left off.
Chapter 13"And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless" –"Over My Head (Cable Car)" The FrayNathan shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked and sucked in the cold air. It felt colder. Was that really all that she thought of him? That he was just a freshman? Just Lucas' baby cousin? Just another friend? Just another guy?
Just…a just?
It was one thing for Haley to not like him in the romantic sense that he did her…but it was another thing to hear those words coming out of her mouth. There was no way he'd heard wrong she'd flat out said that he, Nathan, was just a freshman, and that was why they would never have a chance at dating. A part of him wondered why they'd been talking about that to begin with. Brooke and Haley were clearly discussing the idea of he and Haley together. But what did it matter how the conversation started? All he heard was the end. And that was all he needed to know.
It hurt though to think that she thought of him like that, only like that. He thought he meant more to her. He thought he was her best friend, or at least one of them. But she hadn't said, "He's just a friend," she said "he's just a freshman."
He was sick of that, sick of being the baby of the group. He thought hanging out with Lucas' friends, all seniors was a cool thing. He had his friends in his classes but he was always hanging out with his basketball friends who were all in different grades and it just wasn't an issue how old you were. And he thought the same was the case when he hung out with Lucas' friends. But now that he thought of it, they always made references to him being the youngest, or the baby, or Lucas' younger cousin, Lucas' baby cousin…never just "cousin" always the reference to the age.
Maybe he was naïve to think that college kids didn't have the same mentality as high school kids did of "ew, freshman" but apparently they did, or at least Haley did.
He sighed reaching his dorm room.
Haley.
Why did she have to go and say something like that? She ruined it. Ruined the image he had of her of a sweet girl who was his close friend. Maybe he was fooled all along. Maybe he was wrong all along.
It was ironic he supposed, he was "young" he had a lot to learn. Like not to fall for older girls who wouldn't give you a chance because you were just a freshman.
He rolled his eyes plopping down on his bed. It was a good thing he hadn't gotten a chance to tell Haley how he felt. What a fool he would have made of himself.
Haley didn't like him like that. Which he would have understood and been her friend anyway but apparently he was less than that to her.
Just a freshman.
Fine then.
Haley was leaving Brooke's room as Lucas was coming up to it. She smiled at her friend before feeling something at her feet. Bending down she picked it up just as Lucas got to the door.
"Here tell Brooke this was on the floor I have to go meet Peyton for dinner," she told him hurriedly plopping a kiss on his cheek and scampering off.
Lucas looked down at the book confused and walked into Brooke's room.
"Hey I asked Nathan to bring this to you but apparently it was left on the floor by your door," his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion as he handed the book to Brooke.
"That's weird," she said, "Nathan didn't come here, or at least he didn't knock to check if I was here to give it to me."
"Why would he just leave it on the floor?"
Brooke shrugged, "Doesn't matter." Tossing the book on the desk she pulled Lucas into a hug, "I missed you today boyfriend."
"Yeah you too."
Brooke smiled not letting go when the book on the desk caught her eye again and she remembered she and Haley had been talking about Nathan. Had he come while they were talking about him? Had he heard any part of their conversation? She pondered it for a second before letting it go and focusing her attention back on the boy she hadn't seen all day, and was seemingly seeing less and less of each day.
Nathan was eating in the Pizza Parlor not in the mood for the cafeteria dinner tonight when the door jingled and he looked up to see Peyton coming in, a few steps behind her…Haley.
Finishing up his last bites he began to wipe his hands and get up just as Peyton and Haley reached his table.
"Hey stud, can we join you?" Peyton smiled.
"Actually, I'm done here so…" Nathan replied looking at Peyton.
"So stay and keep us company," Haley prompted.
"No really," he threw his trash out in the garbage can, "I should go," he finished avoiding her gaze and heading for the doors.
Peyton turned to Haley, her eyes wide, "Well that was weird."
"He probably just had a bad day at practice he can get moody sometimes when that's the case, you order the pizza I'll go see if he's ok."
Peyton nodded and Haley jogged out the door spotting Nathan already several feet away from her.
"Nathan! Nathan wait up," she yelled as she ran to try to catch up with him.
"What do you want Haley?" he finally stopped and turned to her.
Taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to catch her breath she answered him, "I just wanted to see if you were ok."
"I'm fine," he stated coldly crossing his arms.
"Are you sure I mean you seem a little tense and I…"
"I don't need a babysitter," he cut her off, his words harsh.
"Whoa Nathan did something happen? What's got you so upset?"
"Why do you care?" he challenged.
Haley sputtered not believing the attitude he was giving her. This was so unlike him.
"What do you mean what do I care? You're my friend Nathan…"
"Well I'm sure you have a lot of other friends you can go concern yourself with, I can take care of myself."
Haley tried to look him in the eyes but his weren't really meeting hers and the way he towered over her wasn't helping the situation.
"Nathan why are you talking to me like that this is so unlike you."
"Look Haley," he sighed, "I'm busy ok, I can't just sit and have dinner with you and Peyton. You guys might be half way to graduation but I can't stop working just because 1st semester is over. This is 2nd semester I have work to do and things to do and I can't sit around and chat."
"Why didn't you just say that then?"
"Whatever," he shrugged, "I have to go. I have work to do and not only that but basketball is going to pick up now too. Duke goes into March Madness every year so we have to win games in order to do that. I'm just going to be really busy and not have much time to hang out." It was true, he was going to be busy but he was milking that for what it was worth at the moment. It'd be easier this way. If he gave Haley some half-lame explanation for why he wouldn't be around her as much and she bought it he wouldn't have to explain that it wasn't because he couldn't but because he didn't want to. It was easier this way, to cut her off, or rather cut himself off of her. Maybe this way he could get over her. Clearly she wasn't worth his pinning after her anyways. After all, she wasn't pinning after him. He was just a freshman. Yeah he was bitter and as far as he was concerned he had every right to be.
He didn't know that when she said that it was a way of shutting Brooke up. It was a way for Haley to put an end to the idea of she and Nathan in Brooke's head so that she could figure it out in her own head. She needed to think about it without outside influences, and if she gave Brooke the slightest hint of a clue that the thought had entered her brain, she'd never hear the end of it. He didn't know that though. All he heard was that to Haley, he was just a freshman. So as he spoke callously because he was hurt, she in turn was hurt by the tone he was using with her with seemingly no reason for it. And she couldn't understand why he was being like this.
"What are you saying that we can't hang out anymore?" she asked incredulously.
"I'm sure you won't miss me, I mean you have all of your senior friends right?" he tried to sound rational and normal and not bitter as he said it.
Haley was at a loss for words. The way Nathan was acting with her right now was so completely out of character for him that she knew something had to be wrong. Something had to have changed. But she didn't know what it was, and he wasn't giving her the slightest hint as to what it was from what she was hearing and understanding. As far as she was concerned he was taking whatever problem he had out on her. How was that fair?
If there was one thing Haley it was it was proud and she didn't have to take this kind of behavior from anybody, not even him. She hadn't done anything to deserve it as far as she knew and if he wasn't going to tell her why he was acting this way she wasn't going to take the effort in trying to figure it out. "Fine, if you're going to be too busy to hang out then I guess I'll see you around," she crossed her arms defiantly.
"See ya," he answered coolly as backed up and then turned around heading towards the pathway.
Once he'd turned around Haley bit her lip and swallowed the lump in her throat. Just then Lucas and Brooke came up from the other side of the pathway and spotted Haley standing there, and Nathan walking away in the distance.
"What happened?" Lucas asked concerned as he took in the look on Haley's face.
"Nothing," she kept her eyes on Nathan's retreating form, "He's too busy to hang out with us so I guess it's just you guys me and Peyton for dinner…maybe for a couple of dinners for awhile."
Brooke put her arm around Haley, "He said he was too busy to hang out with you?"
"Yeah apparently I have enough friends and don't need him," she scoffed and Brooke saw the glossy shine in her eyes, which she could only assume were hidden tears. "It's ok," she ran a hand through her hair and put on that plastic smile that only Brooke would recognize from having known Haley the longest, "Let's go in, Peyton's waiting."
Haley turned and headed back for the doors. Lucas shrugged when Brooke sent him a look accepting Haley's explanation and not seeing anything else to it. But then it hit Brooke. Nathan must have heard she and Haley talking about him, probably something he didn't like, and he was closing himself off. That could only mean one thing: he liked her. He liked her as more than just a friend and whatever part or parts he'd heard had hurt him. Brooke made her way back into the parlor as well and decided it was probably best not to spread her realization around, at least not for now. Taking in the sullen look on Haley's face she could see her friend was just as hurt by Nathan's actions as Nathan was probably hurt by Haley's words. Taking a deep breath she sat down next to Peyton as the waiter placed a pie on the table. Haley sat next to Lucas her eyes catching the swinging doors to the back room catching a glimpse of the pool table and she was brought back to that first week in school. She remembered the game she and Nathan had played and how they were just starting to get to know each other then. She remembered how close they'd become since then, and how she felt that friendship slipping away as Nathan walked away from her tonight.
She couldn't shake the feeling that he'd walked out on much more than just dinner.