I got out of Jay's car without thanking him for the ride or giving him the chance to catch up with me.
I received a couple of questioning glances from people as I walked to my locker. I tried to ignore the looks, but a few of them got to me. Manny was waiting for me at my locker, her arms crosses over her stomach. She was wearing that blue outfit that had gotten her into so much trouble. Does she ever learn? I thought to myself, and then I realized that that is probably what people thought about me when they saw me getting out of Jay's car this morning: does she ever learn?
"Hey, Emma," Manny said to me, moving out of the way so I could open my locker.
"Hey, how's the pep rally coming?" I asked, not trying too hard to sound like I cared about her response.
"It's good. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."
"What do you mean?" I took out my English book.
"Well, the whole school will be there and I was thinking…. that, well…maybe you would want to do one of your environment projects."
"Who cares about the environment?" I asked, shutting the locker door. I started walking to class.
"You do," Manny said, catching up to me. "It might make you feel better."
"I don't feel bad."
"Emma, we're worried about you. You haven't been the same since…well…"
"Since the shooting? Go ahead and say it. Since the shooting?"
"Calm down, Emma…we're just worried about you. I saw you getting out of Jay's car earlier. Emma, what are you thinking? He's bad news."
"Who is 'we'?"
"You're friends," she said. "Liberty, JT, Toby and me."
"Well, what I do is nobody's business but mine. So back off."
"Emma, I'm only trying to help."
"I don't want you help! I don't need your help. And I don't want to spend hours working on an environment project that nobody is going to listen to anyway!" I hadn't realized that I was yelling until I saw Miss Kwan standing next to me.
"Girls, what's going on?" she asked, her hands on her hips.
"Nothing," Manny said quietly.
"Then get into class. The bell is going to ring."
I walked past both of them and took my seat. I tried to read along but I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Jay. How good it felt that he wanted me; that he had chosen me. Out of all of the girls at the ravine those nights, he had picked me. Mousy little Emma. He had liked me, and he still did. I could tell. But he was back with Alex now. The pain that I had felt when he rejected me when they broke up came back to me. He had said he didn't want me. But he did. He did want me. But there was no way I could stand a chance against Alex.
"Emma?" Miss Kwan's voice broke through my thoughts. "Emma, are you alright?"
I looked around. The classroom was empty. "I'm fine, why?" I asked, standing to gather my things.
"I'm concerned about you."
"But I'm fine," I insisted. "Can you give me a note to get to science class?"
"No, I won't give you a note to get to science class," she said, scrawling something on an empty pass. "But I will give you one to talk to Miss Suave."
"I don't need to talk to Miss Suave," I told her. "I am fine."
"That isn't what your body language, the bags under your eyes, or your grades say," she said.
I rolled my eyes. "But I am."
"You have two choices, Emma. You can either get sent to the office for skipping class, or you can take this note and go talk to Miss Suave." She held out the pass she had just filled out. "It's your choice."