Every step feels harder than the last. Every breath jerkier than the last. Every blink longer than the last.
"Goddamncastleupinthemountains. Why did it have to be Skyhold? We couldn't have had an Earthhold instead? Something on a beach?" Dorian moans.
"What's the matter, mage? Can't hold your legs up?" Thom says with a scoff.
Cervas doesn't have the strength to chime in. He almost drags his own feet up the stairs, not even the spectacular view of immaculate summits turning him away from how heavy his entire body feels.
"You'll manage there, Boss?" Bull asks, the slight tremolo of concern plain to hear in his voice. "You look a bit pale. I can lift you if you want."
His own chuckles rattle his throat. "As much as I like the idea, I don't think you carrying me like a bride will make a very good impression up there."
"Hey, we won. If there's one thing people won't give a shit about is if you're carried by a big strong Tal-Vashoth."
"Carry Dorian and leave me be," Cervas mutters, repressing a small smile when he catches Bull's eye twinkling and snapping toward the Tevinter.
Dorian apparently caught it too. "That is so not happening."
"Pfft. Afraid he'll be too big?" Sera quips.
"I will not dignify that with an answer."
"The Iron Bull is not wrong, Inquisitor," Cassandra says. "You fought the hardest out of all of us, even with the Anchor behaving. There's no need to…"
"To what?" Cervas asks with a lifted eyebrow.
"To…"
Someone snickers at his right, but Cervas is too tired to decipher whose laugh it is. He waits for the voice to speak so he can recognize who. "To what, Seeker?"
Of course, it would be him.
"Shut it, Varric. I'm already having trouble finding the words as it is."
Cervas laughs aloud and picks up the pace. "Nevermind, Cassandra." The entrance to the castle is in sight, and a light clamor reaches his ears from afar. His feet feel a tiny bit lighter. "All right, gents. We're almost there. Look sharp. Or at least try to, considering the dirty blood and bloody dirt."
Vivienne sighs audibly. "That is a preposterous demand to make with… With…"
Her words fade away progressively.
Stepping into Skyhold's main gate, the group is stunned into silence by the sheer amount of people standing inside the courtyard, turned towards them. Hands over their hearts, tears on their cheeks, smiles on their faces.
The exhaustion vaporizes as soon as Cervas enters the castle proper. The crowd until then silent starts to whisper and splits open, widening a corridor for him to walk through. He advances, his companions following close.
The Inquisition's soldiers are there; the nurses, the diplomats, the spies, the chefs, the smiths, the horse-masters, the mages and the messengers too. He hears one or two claps, then a few dozen, and soon enough everyone joins the round of applause. Some victorious cries rise and boom.
But Cervas only sees the relief, the pride, the joy. Oh, the joy. The entire Inquisition is smiling in joy. Eventually, his very own party adds to the merry shouts—even Cole raises an arm and laughs while high-fiving every single hand he can reach.
"You hear that, Handy? That's for you," Varric says. His voice sounds proud.
"No, Varric," Cervas replies, and he feels a fire burning inside him as well as he watches his group basking in the blazing glow of their victory. "It's for us."
Dorian clears his throat—he would never admit it, but his emotions got the better of him too often for him not to be embarrassed about it sometimes. "I could get used to this."
"I would if I were you, Kadan," Bull answers.
Cervas mirrors as many smiles as possible while crossing the short green stretch. Then he reaches the staircase, and that's when he finally sees her. She's above him, on the small platform before the second round of stairs, exactly where she had given him that sword. Cullen and Josephine are there too, but he almost misses them.
Leliana waits for him with that beautiful smile of hers. Cervas climbs and climbs, the dolor in his muscles muzzled by his determination to tell the good news that was news to no one.
He reaches the platform and stands there, before his advisors. He throws one glance behind, at his battle companions, then looks back ahead to accept Cullen's handshake; it feels warmer than ever before. The two men share one glance and not a word.
They don't need them. Neither do Josephine and Leliana. They shared so much beforehand. Now, they only have to relish their triumph.
The Commander's hand falls back, and he bends forward with surprising elegance.
Josephine lifts delicate hands to her sides as well as a careful foot to the air and gently tugs at her dress in a tasteful and gracious bow.
Leliana doesn't leave his eyes, doesn't lose that smile. She bows too, one hand in front, one hand behind. Like a true Orlesian.
And the Inquisition explodes in a resounding mix of happy shouts, joyous whistles and cheerful calls. The roaring celebration seems to reach for the skies.
Cervas barely manages to contain an immense grin. He doesn't even register his own rallying cry. He lifts a hand to the heavens; the hand that had started the fight, and the one that had ended Corypheus.
"To the tables!" someone shouts from below, and the crowd moves in a joint step towards the hall and the tavern—Skyhold's main chamber is big, but not quite assemble the entire Inquisition big. The four leaders wait until everyone is settled before breaking their little group.
"See you up there, Inquisitor," Cullen says, offering his arm for Josephine to climb the stairs.
She's the only one left. It's her turn to speak. "A moment, milord?"
The sound of her voice makes him shudder. Cervas turns to face her. "Of course."
They walk up, slowly, enjoying each other's non-death. But Leliana's radiant smile is off. She is a master when it comes to hiding her emotions, but that slight arch above her nose doesn't lie. The subject to come is upsetting. And Cervas's mind directly flies to the heart of it.
"No sign of Solas yet?"
Leliana sighs as she brings her arms together in her back. She never likes it when he guesses what she's going to say.
"My agents found no trace of him. He… has simply vanished." She gazes inside, then at her feet. "If he doesn't want us to find him, I don't think we will." She then stares up at Cervas from under her hood. "But I'll keep looking."
"This is strange…" Cervas says. "Why would he just leave like that?"
"Your messages said he looked upset about the orb… It was elven, maybe he was only in it to find it?"
Something doesn't sit right with Cervas. "That can't be the only reason. And what about Morrigan?"
"Gone as well. She came here earlier today. We… talked, before she left. She still hasn't really swallowed the idea that you drank from the Vir'abelasan, but she says she's glad you did. She extends her warmest salutations."
Cervas shivers at the mention of his now unbreakable bond to Mythal. "No need to sugar coat it. Just call it the Well of Sorrows."
Leliana's eyes harden ever so slightly. "We still have to talk about that. I'm baffled that you took such a risk."
"Had to. I like Morrigan, but she didn't strike me as the unwaveringly loyal type."
"She isn't. Well, not to us anyway. It was and still is the right call. I'm just a bit upset that it had to be you. I wouldn't trouble myself with that now, Inquisitor. Tonight is a night for celebration," she says with an inviting nod towards the warm and crowded hall. They walk inside, and he feels her hand brushing against his. "Now that Corypheus has a few discussions with his old magister friends in the Fade, we have a moment to relax and just breathe." Again, the faint touch of her skin tickles his palm. "Afterwards, you will be busy. Every noble in Thedas will fight tooth and nail to meet you."
"The battle is over. Why would they want to meet me now?" Cervas asks as his eyebrows quirk up in confusion.
Leliana laughs, her hand darting up to cover her mouth. He stares at her blankly, waiting for her to get over his—apparently, hilarious? —sentence. She then examines his face from the corner of her eyes and stops in bewilderment.
"Oh Maker, you weren't joking."
Cervas crosses his arms. "No. But do tell."
"How did someone as clueless as you not die at the first opportunity out there?"
"I have a big magic sword. What was this about nobles?"
Leliana chuckles. "You're cute. They want to be associated with you, at what they think is your peak glory. They want some of it to rub off on them. The Winter Palace is still standing mainly because of you." For the third time, her hand seems like it seeks his and he suppresses as gasp at the contact. She's getting bolder. "There are a thousand more problems to solve, and they'll want your opinion, whether you want to give it or not…"
Cervas shakes his head. "Now they want my advice. What a bunch of vultures."
"You are the one who stopped Corypheus. Before today, you were a rebellious mage leading a troupe of other rebellious mages and cast out heretics fighting an uphill struggle against a force so powerful they'd rather turn away than watch. Until Corypheus showed his blighted self, there was no one to blame for the Conclave and for The Breach. When he appeared, everyone had a target…" Finally, her fingers discreetly lace around his and give him a delicate squeeze. "And now, you're the only one left." Her fingers go, but the burning heat in his cheeks stays. "Enjoy the evening while you can, Inquisitor. I'll meet you when you're done."
He watches her as she walks away; the roguish smile that he won't forget anytime soon; the light swaying of her hips under her meshy robe; the little glimpse of red that peeks out of her hood.
Cervas shakes his head clear. The party is waiting for him.
Cullen is standing not far, alone, as per usual. He wonders if he heard anything from his discussion with Leliana.
"Enjoying the punch?" Cervas asks while clasping his hands in his back.
The younger man chuckles at his glass. "I guess. Am I imagining it, or do we have a moment to breathe?"
"Pinch your hand and brace for the comeback, Commander."
"Hah. Here's hoping I won't wake up in my bed all sweaty." He seems a bit lost in thought before resuming. "The Conclave, Haven… It seems so long ago."
"Oh, I still remember your singing like it was yesterday. It's getting a bit hazy, but I also recall that you were the first to burst into song?"
Cullen stares aside and scratches his nose in embarrassment. "I, um… I wasn't the first. Leliana was."
"Yes, but she's Leliana."
"She is." They both look for her and find her at the end of the hall, talking with Josephine with glittering eyes. "She's been through a lot, hasn't she?"
"More than we could imagine."
"I'll always remember the day I tried to get her to talk to me about Warden Surana."
"The Hero? You knew her?"
That's a new one. And something Cervas would never have suspected.
Cullen aimlessly plays with his glass, nostalgic eyes glued to the roof. "I met her, a long time ago. Only for a few days, but she… she made an impression. Even I could see the grandeur in her."
"You met the Hero, you were at Kirkwall with Hawke, and now you manage the Inquisition's military? You're the world's most prolific savior."
"I was more a bother than anything else."
"No, you weren't," Cervas asserts with a giant smile and a tap on Cullen's back that he makes sure is a bit more forceful than necessary. "You've been through a lot too. And we made it thanks to you."
"You're one to talk," Cullen says with a laugh after a few coughs. "You should hear the stories in the barracks. The sheer pride. You are proof we made a difference. And I am honored I was there by your side."
"Our soldiers put their trust in you."
"And you gave me a chance to prove myself. In your place… I'm not sure I would have done the same. But enough of this. Everyone seems to want your attention. I'll let you get back to it."
Cervas chuckles and moves forward. He spends the next hour mingling about, checking on his companions, keeping tabs. He chokes up at each of their heartfelt proclamations and shares a drink with all that would.
The time flies by, and soon enough he joins Leliana and Josephine, not far from the Avvar throne.
"What's the news?" the spymaster asks as he approaches, a mischievous glint shining in her irises.
"Where do I start? Varric wants to write a book which title starts with Shit, Sera wants to punch everyone and looks serious about it, Dorian hugs old ladies and Cole's already drunk when I thought he didn't even need food. What could go wrong?"
Leliana chuckles earnestly. "At least you can enjoy the refreshments. Fresh and hot from Val Royeaux's Madame Lucienne, courtesy of our own Ambassador. Delicate attention, wouldn't you say?"
"It was a nightmare!" Josephine squeals as she furiously scribbles down… something on her parchment. She never lets go of her portable desk; not even for parties, apparently.
Leliana shrugs. "At least the petit-fours are great."
"Oh, I love tiny cakes!" Cervas cheerfully says. "And there's so many of them!"
"Not as much as there should have. Ugh, I should never have hired new caterers so late," Josephine exasperatedly mutters.
"Leave it be, Josie. Everything's fine!"
"It is not! I'm terribly sorry, Inquisitor. Nothing's quite as it should be. Are the drinks to your tastes?"
Cervas sees a breach and jumps headfirst. "If I said the port was a little dry, would you burst into flame?"
The way Josephine stiffens almost makes him explode into laughter on the spot. "You're joking, yes? Please tell me you're joking."
"He is joking Josie," Leliana intervenes with a disapproving shake of her head. "He has no common sense."
The Ambassador sighs then wears a warm and almost motherly smile. "I guess preparing a bad banquet is preferable to the other option. Now if you'll excuse me, I must inspect the port."
As she waltzes away, Leliana elbows Cervas's side a bit harder than she usually did. "You could have just said Yes and let her enjoy the evening."
"We both know she'd get anxious over anything. This way she'll check something we're aware is perfectly fine," he tries to justify himself, throwing a glance filled with a mix of unwarranted confidence and very apparent bashfulness.
"I shouldn't let you get away with this."
"Aww. But you will. Because I'm just that adorable."
"You tire me."
The pair drinks in the sight of the full hall, the sounds of clanging tankards, the echoes of the chanting groups.
"You're a pain, but I must admit. This is you," Leliana softly utters. "You made this possible."
"We're doing this again?" he says with a chuckle. This time, and despite the shaking that invades him, his hand seeks hers. "We did. We all did. That includes you."
She faces him again, locks their fingers together and raises her glass. "For all we've done."
After one last visual tour, Cervas lets go. His head feels too heavy for him not to crumble to the ground in the next minute. "I'm going up."
"You are?"
"Mmhmm. My head's spinning. Shouldn't have drunk that thing Bull gave me… Probably should climb the stairs while I still can," he adds with a chuckle.
"Then I'm coming with you."
"No, stay. Enjoy the party. The night is still young."
Her voice drops lower, barely above a whisper. "I'm coming, Cervas." She never calls him that when there are people around.
"But everyone will see y—"
"I don't much care."
"Ugh. Figuring you out is going to kill me, woman."
"It'll be the sweetest death ever, wouldn't it?"
They both stealthily step away from the hall and into the staircase at the far north. The climb is tedious, but Leliana's support helps immensely.
"You're stronger than you look, Sister Nightingale," Cervas teases when they reach the halfway mark.
"And you're heavier than you look, Inquisitor Trevelyan," she fires back without skipping a beat.
"Okay, touché. This round is yours."
They finally open the door to his quarters and the crisp mountain air hits his face at the same time as the bright crimson shine of the setting sun. As soon as they pass the room's landing, Cervas's legs give up under him. Leliana hoists him up and practically carries him to his bed.
"Everything alright?" she asks, and the tinge of worry he perceives makes his heart leap.
"Yeah, yeah. No more fuel is all."
"You're sure?"
Cervas lets his entire body collapse on the mattress and he releases a long sigh that somehow relaxes a lot of his muscles. "I should be good, now." He stretches over the bedsheets like a baby, not bothering to suppress the inelegant yawn that drifts past his lips.
Leliana sits on the edge, right next to him. "You deserve a rest."
Cervas has no feelings in his fingers or nose, but there's still something he wants to discuss. "That I do. Tell me, Leliana…"
She gently plays with his hair with a sober and serene smile. "Yes?"
"What are you going to do?"
He knows it's not the merriest matter to bring up, but he has to. And her features drop immediately.
"Now?"
"I want to talk about it."
"How about we wait until you're not beaten up and drunk."
"I'm beaten up, but I'm not drunk. I want to talk about this, Leli. It's important."
Now that Corypheus is defeated, the next hot topic across all Thedas is very easy to guess.
Her shoulders slump and she lets out a heavy breath. "I think… I think we can use the little time we have. Before I'm called."
Cervas's chest tightens in a vicious knot. She has chosen. She is the best candidate to be the next Divine; even better than Cassandra. Everyone knows, and he does better than anyone else. But that doesn't lessen the weight on his heart.
"Again, stealing little moments…"
"You're the one who endorsed me in front of the High Priestesses. You had the choice not to. I wouldn't have minded."
"Don't you dare lie to me." He stirs slightly to look her in the eye, trying as much as he can to transmit his emotions without speaking them aloud. "I know this is important to you. I know you want to do what Justinia couldn't. How could I not endorse you? The Chantry needs you. I don't regret it one bit."
"You don't?"
"You made the right decision."
Her hand comes to his cheek and drags along his beard like the sweet caress of twilight. "Not for you, I didn't."
"I'm not worth the entire world."
Her hand dashes back to her side, and she stands from the bed a bit too quickly—her hood flies from the motion and uncovers her head. Leliana strides to the balcony with swift and silent steps while Cervas's eyes follow her until she's hunched over the railing, apparently observing the frozen mounts he woke up to every morning.
She stays there, and it's not until a few minutes later that he hears the noises. Sniffles, twitches, whimpers. His heart falls lower than it ever did, and a new drive inside his limbs pushes him off the bed. His legs are numb, but he powers through to stand on his feet and walk toward the woman that he had only seen cry for herself once.
She hears his much less stealthy steps long before he reaches her, and she reels to the side, hiding her face as much as she can—though not once do her hands go for her hood. "No! Don't look at me now."
Cervas extends his left hand, and she stiffens when his skin grazes hers. His fingers feel the moist trail of tears on her cheek and the heat under it.
"Why wouldn't I? I already saw you like this. Twice, in fact."
"This is not me," she says, but she doesn't back away like she'd done the first times. This once she leans into his contact, lets him wipe away the tears with careful movements.
"Yes, it is. This is the most incredible woman this guy has ever known. And she's going to become the next Divine."
Despite the bitterness he hates himself for feeling, he's proud. Proud of her, and of whom she'll become.
"You only say that because you didn't meet the Hero." Her cheeks are almost dry now, but her hand covers his like it did a few months before. "When we lost her… When I lost Neria… My faith was shaken. I didn't feel the Maker's presence. Now that I have finally found His light back, and I can share it with the world… I lose the most important person to me in that world…."
"You'll get over it. I'm more annoying than anything anyway."
She cups his cheek and her smile saddens. "Nothing's going to just work out for us, won't it?"
Cervas chuckles as he recalls his favorite saying. "Things never just work for me. If you were expecting otherwise, you chose the wrong guy."
Her eyebrow lifts and the cockiness he adores comes back to her expression. "Who says I chose him?"
"The arm around my neck does."
Leliana leans in and enlaces him in a tender embrace. Cervas returns the hug whose soft and velvety touch feels even more intimate than the kiss they shared so long ago.
"You're wrong, by the way," she mutters; the vibrations of her voice tickle his neck.
"You're gonna have to be more specific, I'm wrong about a lot of stuff."
She pulls away and kisses him in a flash. The weight of her supple lips hasn't even registered that she's already parted, but he certainly feels his head starting to spin.
"You said you weren't worth the entire world?" Leliana adds.
"Uh-huh?"
She kisses him again, somehow even faster. Though these pecks are almost instantaneous, their lingering taste sticks with him even more than their first passionate kiss in her tower. These kisses are heavy, loaded, meaningful.
"Not to me," she finishes as one last tear rolls over her gorgeous features.
Cervas always tries to be as empathetic as possible, but despite all his efforts, some would still call him the asshole who only keeps things for himself. And now, in front of the woman he loves, he only wants to prove them right; he wants to throw all those efforts away, take her hand and flee where they would never be found.
"You waited so long, only for us to be once again separated," Leliana continues as she holds both his hands in hers. She seems to think for a few moments before nodding to herself. "You know what? Months ago, you made me a promise. And you kept it. Tonight, I want to do the same."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll find a way. To make it work for us."
"How?" he asks, fondly amused by how serious she looks.
"I don't care how many Priestesses I have to pois—"
"No. Poison. Leliana."
"All right, all right. But I'll find a way, Cervas. I promise. And I'll come back to you, mon amour. Like you came back to me."
He stares into her green eyes and sees the glittering shine of hope pulsing inside like a heartbeat. He sees her hand against his much darker one, folded like a dove's wing.
She called him her love. Maybe it's her bard instincts, maybe it's just the warm Leliana resurfacing again.
Or maybe she's right.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks, trying as much as possible to keep his head from fuming.
She nods instantly, her locks jumping up and down over her shoulders.
He wants to believe her. She's never betrayed his trust before. "Very well. But if you can't, I won't hold it agains—mmmph."
This kiss is not a little peck. She's launched herself around him, and her parted lips are glued to his. He can only focus on how soft she feels against his mouth, how addictively she invades all his senses.
She smells of strawberries and jasmine. The intoxicating perfume clouds his mind and draws an involuntary grunt. She reacts by moaning softly, a sweet and soft sound that drives him crazy.
His whole body burns, but not from the exhaustion; the feel of her delicate but strong frame leaning on his as her arms wrap around him seems nearly forbidden. He pulls her in, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until his knees give in. By the time Cervas becomes aware of his fingers again, they already slipped under her robes, her skin smooth and radiating heat.
She pulls away with a succinct plop, the red on her cheeks only overshadowed by the one of her hair.
He snaps back to reality and gazes upon her. "I'm sorry?" he says with a wince.
The bright light in her eyes is daring him not to repeat that sentence. She snuggles even closer to his body; so close that their hearts seem to synchronize against one another. She pushes his hands lower, enough that they're now touching the fabric of what seems to be her underwear.
"I'm not going to be Divine before a few weeks, you know?" Her voice is low, sultry, seductive. He's never heard her talk like that before. "Just saying, but there's a bed right there…"
The heat burns hotter inside his chest, but he only chortles in response. "As much as I'd like that, I don't think this is going to do it."
She stares blankly at him, her beguiling charms evaporating in confusion. "What does that mean?"
"I think I'm stuck," Cervas says while throwing a glance at his own drained legs. She narrows her eyes at him. "I swear, I tried to move, but they just won't answer. So, unless you carry me on your back, I think I'm going to have to spend the night out here..."
Leliana laughs again, and every single one of her breaths enraptures him even more; he's the mage, but he's the one being bewitched.
She strokes his hair slowly, not leaving his eyes. "Promise you'll be there when I find the solution?"
He doesn't have to think. "I will. I'll take care of your nugs while you're working."
Her head tilts to the right as she peers into him. "I think you'll have other priorities. But just in case: Do. Not. Approach. The little ones."
"That's hurtful, Leli. I love them as much you do."
"Love isn't the issue. Who gives them rocks to eat?"
"You said they could eat anything! I had to test it out!"
"You tire me," she finally says, gently bringing her forehead to touch his.
"That's my job."
They share a moment of quiet, only interrupted by Leliana a few seconds later. "You know what my favorite Canticle is?"
"Should I?"
She shakes her head and smiles.
"Now her hand is raised,
A sword to pierce the sun,
With iron shield she defends the faithful,
Let chaos be undone."
She sings it. He's forgotten how beautiful her voice is.
He read the entire Chant of Light back in the Circle; he knows which one it is. "That's… The Canticle of Victoria?"
She nods and hugs him again. "It is, Cervas." Her content sigh brushes against him and he suppresses the urge to answer with the same. "Thank you."
They both admire the scenery before their eyes in silence, the majesty of the quiet around Skyhold trumping the faint squawks of distant birds.
"Leliana?"
"Hmm?"
"On a sauvé le monde. A vous de le changer."
She's deliberately not hiding how enamored with him her eyes are as they snap to him.
For the first time, he knows she's showing him exactly what she's feeling. For the first time since he met her, she's not using filters. And that single realization is worth all the struggles he's been through for the last few months.
She beams at him. "Watch me."
Glossary: Après l'effort... = After the effort.
Mon amour = My love
On a sauvé le monde. A vous de le changer = We saved the world. Now, go change it.
AN: I know I said it would be a one-shot, but I just couldn't get my head off this idea when I replayed DA:I's ending a few weeks back. I hope you liked it.
This one is in present tense because I think of the chapters as separate entities. They are individual one-shots grouped under the same banner, but the story is not a multi-chapter. I wanted to try something else and challenge myself to something new.
I tried to focus a bit on the advisors, but truthfully this is again mostly for Leliana. I thought her becoming the next Divine would be interesting to explore in the context of the first chapter. I'm so sad the Warden couldn't be there during Inquisition...
Now, you're probably wondering: is this it?
Probably... not. I intend to explore Trespasser too. Though that won't be before a little while, I know it's going to happen. Because while the ending is not unsatisfying IMO, I think there is still stuff to be told for these two.
And yes, I am indeed French if anyone is wondering. That's how I know these translations (sometimes Google Translate just can't catch some subtleties). For example, the chapter titles are all the first half of a French idiom, Leliana being Orlesian and all that.
Ce qui se passe à Valence, reste à Valence is inspired by "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
Après l'effort, le réconfort is more French-specific, and translates into "After effort comes comfort."
That's it for now, see you in other galaxies.
Peace,
CalAm.