Yo I'm back with the fourth episode pimps!
And I still don't own a goddamn thing!
The PAW Patrol have drove kilometers after kilometers of land and have just crossed the ferry into the Kingdom of Barkingburg in the suburban.
They were all tired and bored but they were on the short road now so it kept them up.
"Why the hell do we have to go to this bitch's party, she fucking hates us." Skye moaned.
"Because the Princess is paying me to, since she apparently has no friends except her toy frog and we need money because we have a whole crate of space shrooms that I still can't find a buyer for." Ryder droned like he explained this a million times.
Chase muttered something incoherent but he turned back around to take another nap.
Ryder looked back at them then he turned back around. "How about some music pups?"
The responses were "meh, sure, just not Country."
"Okay." Ryder said as he turned the radio on.
A light bell was heard then a piano.
The pups froze, their eyes widened.
Chase looked at the radio. 'I write sins not tragedies' was the song, the only song Ryder sang to. God no!
"Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear, no, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words."
Ryder worded them with his lips and started dancing in the seat.
"No!" The pups cried in unison.
Marshall did the smart thing and covered his ears and eyes.
"What a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter, and, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."
Ryder was singing lightly now, which wasn't bad yet.
"No! No! No!" Rubble dug his paws in his ears.
It's not the song the pups hated but it was Ryder singing and dancing.
"I chime in with a HAVN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF, CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR? No, it's much better to face these kinds of things, with a sense of poise and rationality!"
Ryder was full on singing and dancing in his seat now, the pups worst nightmare.
"Ryder stop!" Skye demanded on the verge of crying.
"Fuck!" Marshall's strategy wasn't working anymore.
Rocky made a motion with his paws like he was putting a bullet in his head.
Chase began growling and started to chew the top of his seat.
Ryder continued singing but stopped when he noticed Chase in the rear view mirror. "Chase I swear to fucking god you better stop or you're paying for it!" He shouted. He went back to singing when Chase collapsed in his seat.
"Oh, well in fact, well, I'll look at it this way, I mean, technically, our marriage is saved, well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne."
"Ryder keep your eyes on the road!" Rubble complained.
Ryder turned the radio volume all the way up, assaulting the pup's eardrums to the fullest.
"Ryder!… sto… please!" Everest whined, but Ryder couldn't make out half of what she said.
"I chime in with a HAVN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF, CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR? NO, IT'S MUCH BETTER TO FACE THESE KINDS OF THINGS, WITH A SENSE OF POISE AND RATIONALITY!!!"
As Ryder Sang that part, he turned back at the pups and pointed at them for dramatic effect.
"RYDER!!!" Skye screamed at the top of her lungs and pointed ahead.
Ryder shot around
"HOLY FUCK!" He squealed as he yanked the wheel over. An eighteen wheeler was honking at them and they were about to collide before Ryder got back on the right side of the road.
"Phew, that was close one." Ryder laughed.
The pups weren't amused.
The radio was off now but Ryder started to lightly hum the lyrics.
"Ryder!"
They made it to the castle much to the relief of the pups but now they were out of the frying pan and into the fire.
As they pulled up, an old white guy in a royal uniform came walking down the grand stairs.
"Alright guys what did we talk about?" Ryder asked.
"Don't make Sweetie mad, don't piss on any of the furniture, and don't make fun of their accents because we won't get paid if we do." The pups droned.
"That's right." Ryder gave a thumbs up.
They dismounted.
"Well isn't this a splendid surprise, all of the pups? I'm sure Sweetie would be delighted the showed up for her special day." The man greeted.
"Yeah hey gramps, is the princess here?" Ryder asked, trying not to be rude but failing at it.
"Why she is waiting for you all in the throne room, I shall escort you." The man said before they followed him into the castle.
The pups braced themselves for a miserable time.