I do not own fate stay night. I might not be able to write for 2 months. Sorry. I have to study hard. Also apologize for the word count being just 4k. I NEED A BETA READER AND ANYONE CAN TELL ME HOW BETA EVEN WORKS CAUSE I SUCK AT WRITING EMOTIONS AS A WHOLE.

A hill full of corpses of Knights ran littered with cloudy murky sky. A lone figure could be seen sitting atop that hill. Adorned in her blue regal clothing and silver Armour could be seen which had dirt clinging on it. She had a dazed expression, eyes full of pain and sorrow as she looked around the battlefield. Enemies who were once her own proud knights as well as those who were still loyal to her were littered around. Neither of them deserved this kind of ending. It was all her fault.

Swords were jutting out of the Earth. Dirty and full of blood of their fallen enemies. Now that there were no one to hold onto them with their hilts facing towards the dark murky skies in loneliness. The whole scene was honestly depressing.

"I am here again..."

The only figure that was still alive at the moment muttered in a voice that reflected no emotions nor feelings, as if she was dead inside.

Tears could be seen flowing from her eyes, down to her chin before falling slowly towards her dress.

"Everyone..."

For the first time the emotions that felt the sadness and guilt came out along with more tears as some of the emotions could not be held back.

"Lancelot..."

Then her hands clenched before the dam that held her emotions burst open. She then wailed towards the sky.

"Uwaaaaa..."

Then as if remembering something she wailed her hearts out.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa..."

Then she faced towards the ground eyes closed with her both of her hands clenching the bloodied soil.

"I am sorry... (sob) I am sorry"

"I...(sob)"

"I am not worthy...(sob) "

Sob*... Sob*...

Then with small amount of determination and tears in her eyes she declared

"Someday, I will win the Holy Grail.(sob)"

Then she clenched her teeth before stating...

"I shouldn't have... become a king..."

... as if it was a fact.

Gasp*

Arturia woke up at once with sweat covered dress. She could feel bile coming up in her mouth before rushing towards the restroom, two rooms away. Upon entering she headed straight towards the toilet before quickly emptying her stomach. It had been some weeks after the now dubbed incident known as "The Great Fuyuki fire". Condolences were made in the public in front of the ruined park and construction works were conducted. Few days after that man had adopted the boy, she was given clean bill, meaning everything except the leg was OK.

It seemed that in those time, they were looking for her identity. It seems as though they had found something regarding herself. Nothing to indicate who she was but just a half burnt birth certificate that said that her name really was Arturia and she was of half Japanese and half British descent. They tried to search for any relatives for some time before giving up and just sent her to the orphanage in the city operated by a kind matron. Something was surely amiss with the certificate, she felt it. Though she was kind of an oddball among other children's who seemed to be curious about her hair and overall feature that was different than that of commonly found traits of Japanese people.

It had been a long time since Arturia had gotten such vivid dream. Somehow she had a gut instinct that it was either her other half when they were separated from each other or was still cursed somehow by whatever the curse was or both. She wondered if she had done something to warrant such annoying but effective curse. She looked at the wall which had some visibility and found that it was still 2 a.m. She sighed then went back to her bed. She was now sleeping on what people know as 'bunk beds' which accommodated 2 people, up and down bed. The down bed was open as the person before her had been kidnapped by the unknown kidnappers, who had kidnapped many childrens.

Only Arturia knew the fate of kidnapped kids who were kidnapped by the deranged and mad Caster. She still shuddered about thinking about the way Caster, whose identity was Gille de Ries, looked at her with mad euphoria. That moment along with the deformed monster created from the bodies of the poor children could easily come in her top 10 most disgusting moments.

'Still I hope they found their peace.'

After a few days later Arturia had gotten rid of her leg cast. The matron seemed worried but she showed that she could run and play just fine. The nice matron's name was Fubuki Shimura. A widowed childless mother who seemed to have found joy in helping orphaned children. Arturia had found that Fubuki-san had a politician husband, who seemed to have been an influencial person in his time. He had died mysteriously just days after his marriage to Fubuki. After months of mourning she seemed to have found strength to appeal to the council for the permission to establish an orphanage with the sympathizers of her husband supporting her. It had been her dream to open an orphanage as Fubuki-san was an orphan herself.

Now that Arturia could walk again without the assistance of crutch, she started to exercise in the morning. She would wake up at exactly 5 a.m.. First she stretched then squatted for a while and then would do push up before going to jog all over the city. She witnessed many interesting things as well as various shortcut while avoiding some unsavory people in the alley.

Of course she avoided the church like a plague. She had once seen the priest, Kotomine Kirei, handing something like--no it was surely a DAGGER, to a small child who was with a woman in a wheelchair just outside the cemetery. The young twin black haired girl didn't notice, but Arturia sure did notice that smile he had shown for an instant which showed a sense of twisted amusement on it.

There had to be some sort of connection there. The priest seemed to have good instinct as he could feel her gaze before looking at her general direction but Arturia had evaded it. She then resumed her jogging...at the opposite direction of course. She also made to avoid the insect familiars that were spread out over the whole city. Her instinct had alarmed her to those creepy crawlers. She made sure to rein her prana to the outmost limit while keeping training as well. After all if her base strength increased so would her power when prana was activated. After jogging she would come to the forest at the back of the orphanage.

It seemed that the orphanage was located near the Einzbern property...

Here she would work on her sword skill. She would take a crudely made wooden sword. She would practice her sword forms for a while by swinging her sword along practicing her footwork. She then went to a place surrounded by trees which had a string attached to its branches. At the end of the string there were some wooden blocks attached to it. She had gotten this idea by watching childish cartoons along with other childrens. While childish it did serve it's purpose of being a challenge instead of just swinging her sword all the time. Here at the center of the trees she would let out some small prana brust scattering the blocks everywhere and due to the force of gravity would come swinging at her.

She would then dodge where she could and deflect when she couldn't. It would be a great exercise for her body but as there were many blocks, some of them would end up hitting her head for some reason.

She would not cry, definitely not cry at all!!(Though, there were some tears at the corner of her eyes.)

She would then return just after 8 a.m. finishing all this in 3 hours. She would then take a bath along with other girls as well as some female workers who seemed to share the same joy for helping the orphaned children as their matron did. After refreshing herself, Arturia would try to help her matron in some way or another as she could not stomach of not returning the favor of taking her in and taking care of her. With key word being 'tried'.

"Arturia!! That's not how you wash the clothes!! You are going to tear the poor clothes!!"

"Arturia! How did you even manage to break the plate in half without even throwing it on the ground!?"

"Arturia!! ..."

"Arturia!!..."

But it seemed that there was a fundamental problem with her 'helping'...

'I swear those ridiculous cartoon characters are hax! Hax I say!! They show how ridiculously easily they did things.'

She thought while slumping on the ground with dark overcast expression. She was so depressed and embarrassed that she couldn't see the matron and other helpers looking at her with warm eyes while giggling amongst themselves.

After eating dinner with other children they all went to sleep along with a depressed Arturia.

It was snowing. This time she was fighting against a hooded figure which had the shape of a man at a wooden corridor just outside the room of a traditional Japanese temple at night. She saw a hooded figure enter the room. She shouted to someone as if she was worried,

"Sh*r*u"

She could not hear the name though. She was wearing her armor and blue dress. She could hear muffled grunt until the hooded figure came out of the door and closed it. She swung her invisible sword, Excalibur, at the figure but the figure dodged with some effort atop her. She again said something,

"Sh*r*u, i*'s As*a*sin"

Then she again swung her sword at the hooded figure who dodged by moving backwards. Then he started to run away. She chased him through the wooden corridor before he jumped to the roof before again jumping to go to the other part of what looked like a Japanese temple. She tried chasing him through the field but was forced to deflect bladed projectiles thrown at her by swinging her invisible sword sideways.

He landed on the roof without much difficulty, which showed that the hooded figure was very swift and agile, before running away on the roof. She jumped onto the roof and clutching her invisible sword with both hands chased him while wildly flaring her prana to use her ability. He briefly glanced at her which showed that he was wearing a mask before again jumping on the open corridor of the temple as if to make her hesitate to use her ability lest she would kills any innocent people still living in the temple.

She chased him into another corner. She trickled her prana into her weapon. The air around her blade seemed to shimmer as if it was about unleash something. Just as she went around the corner she lifted her sword perpendicular to her and with both hand on her sword she thrust her sword toward the direction of the black hooded figure.

"Ha*m*r of the *in* k*n*!"

A vortex of air suddenly erupted from her sword towards the figure but it seemed the figure seemed to casually swirl towards her inside the vortex of air. She was surprised for a bit. He then lifted his hidden hand which wielded a dagger from inside of his cloak and tried to stab at her. Arturia's instinct screamed for her to dodge and dodged by a thin margin she did as it passed her head.

As the figure passed her she moved forward to create some distance away and faced him.

"Tsk!"

She readied her blade. She then ran towards him in preparation for a close combat battle. Just as she was about to reach him, her instinct seemed to scream at her. She immediately jumped backwards nearly missing almost being stabbed by what looked like a black ribbon like things with red borders. It felt full of malice and curses. She then repeatedly jumped backwards as to avoid being skewered by it which seemed to appear from underneath the wooden planks.

She was about to ready herself when the lake beside the house suddenly erupts while displacing the water towards her. She looked towards it and before she could jump away to create the necessary distance, four to five of those black ribbons seemed to grab her left ankle.

Then she felt something, something very very malicious and full of curses being poured inside of her. She stiffened and curses grew, cor*up*i*g her. Black veins could be seen from her clothes spreading upwards from her legs. Her face was frozen in surprise and when the cor*up*i*n reached her face suddenly she could feel pain much much worse in an instant.

"UGH!!!"

She slumped down but before she could fall flat on her face she stabbed her sword onto the wooden plank to make a makeshift support. She tried to suppress her pain and looked at the hooded figure in pain. She stumbled while she shakingly pointed her swords towards him.

"As*as*in... You..."

She was in pain.

Arturia gasped and suddenly woke up from her nightmare. She seemed to have sweated a lot. It seemed that the dream was getting worse and worse for her. At first she could only see images, flashes in her dreams. This was the second time she saw a full dream... no a nightmare. She seemed to be a bit thirsty. She slowly and carefully got out of the bed so as to not wake other children up.

Arturia is by no mean a stupid person. She had led the kingdom in her prime and could conclude a little or speculate from little informations available. The dreams she saw could have been of the holy grail war if Assassin is there. Next one or the after the next one could not be concluded. But it seems there was something amiss with the war. Something foul at play here. But that is for the future. There may be another 50-60 years gap left.

She carefully and silently made her way towards the kitchen. As she got to the kitchen she found herself a glass and poured water in it. She then drank it in two big gulps and poured herself another one. She silently went towards her room but she could see someone in the outer corridor or engawa they say. It was the matron. The matron was still wearing a yukata.

She seemed to have noticed Arturia because without turning back she asked her,

"Arturia, you can enjoy your time with me here if you cannot sleep well at night."

Arturia, being polite as she was, said,

"Thank you for inviting me, Matron-san."

"Well, you don't need to be so stiff and polite. Want some tea? "

"Well I don't want to bother you..."

"It's OK dear. It's not a bother. In fact it's a welcome one because it's been long since I shared this tea with anyone."

They both stopped talking after that. Arturia sat on a seiza position. The night was still young. A full display of the moon could be seen. The fireflies seemed to glow all around the area before them. From bushes to trees to the pretty flowers that had yet to bloom. Arturia then heard the pouring of the tea. It's scent was fresh as if the tea used was freshly made. It seemed that the tea helped you to relax because just after the tea was made, served and sipped, the stiffness of her back seemed to loosen.

"The tea is delicious Matron-san."

"Well you can call me by my surname you know."

"Ah! I will keep that in my mind, Shimura-san."

"Well, I am glad that you are enjoying the tea."

sip*

Both of them seemed to sip at the same time as the silence continued.

"You don't need to do all those work you know, Arturia."

"It's nothing. I just don't like doing nothing when I 'could' do something."

"Is it just that or do you think that it's your duty?"

Arturia didn't seem to answer it.

"Nee Arturia, when I first saw you at the hospital, I didn't see a young girl. I saw someone who is much more mature. Has faced numerous obstacles. Has her own demon that still lingers to this day not because of the fire. A person who could do something very stupid. But I also see a child. A child that was denied the chance of normal life. A child that once believed in something but now has abandoned it. That is why I brought you here Arturia. Despite falsifying your birth certificate I wanted to bring you here. A chance, that maybe you can lead a satisfying life. A chance to start anew. "

'So that's how I had a birth certificate.'

Arturia seemed to be quite shocked but composed herself.

" You seem to be quite an observant person, Shimura-san. "

Arturia decided it was best to be truthful (or half-truthful) at least for the hospitality provided.

" Well my husband was a politician, a very good and kind one at that. I had to learn to observe people."

Arturia pondered for a while.

" Can I ask you a question, Shimura-san? It might seem a bit impolite. "

" Well, after you ask your question I will think about it. "

" Well if you could change your past, would you try to do it? Would you reset your achievements so that the end outcome would be favorable for everyone? You know if you had met your husband before he became a politician and change his course of life so that he never became a politician and got to live with you longer? "

'If I want to change my past, would it be worth it?'

Arturia was still unsure what to do. To change her past or to keep it as it is. What would be the correct choice for it? At the banquet of the kings, she was mocked for it.

Maybe if I could gleam at it.

This question also made Shimura-san to look at her for a bit before she sipped her tea. She looked as if she was pondering for a bit.

"Hmm... You come up with the most interesting question, Arturia-san."

The first time Arturia had heard her using san which seemed to reveal that the question surely was a heavy one.

"Maybe, Maybe not. If I did change the past I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I wouldn't have been able to save these many childrens. I would just be a normal housewife but these children? They do not have anyone to rely on. I wouldn't change my past because it made me who I am. It is because of our past mistakes that made us who we are. It is normal for us to look back. Nostalgia is woven to our own being. "

" But looking backwards constantly, to either relive old glories or rekindle old mistakes, is one of the indicators of how unhappy someone is with who, what and where they are now. If someone is still stuck in the past that I would call it being childish. Just because something doesn't go your way doesn't mean that you would selfishly cling onto it. The world just doesn't work that way. "

By saying that Shimura looked right in the eyes of Arturia, who was shocked. Black eyes met Jade green eyes who looked away.

" Daichi, my husband was someone who was well respected and kind. He helped people when he could. Accomplished works that could benefit the people and the society as a whole. But such people are eyesores for other people. He was murdered in front of me. Even in his dying breath he felt no remorse. No regret. Well there was only one and that was that he was leaving me forever. I... I could never take those accomplishments that means so much to him. I could never be that selfish. "

Fubuki looks down and twirled her straight hair on her finger.

" But that's my own opinion on it. But who am I to judge?"

Arturia was tongue-tied at the answer. Was she so childish for wishing such a wish? She just wanted her kingdom to flourish. To save all her knights. Then the words of King of Conqueror ringed on her mind,

You saved them, but you never led them. You never showed them what a king should be. You abandoned your men when they lost their way. Then alone and untroubled, you followed your own petty ideals.

'Is this karma? To be reminded time and again what a failure of a king she was? Maybe it would have been better if she were never to be bor-...!!'

Arturia could not see but there were hazy black smoke like things being emitted from her body as she was laid downcast with empty eyes. Fubuki caught the sight of Arturia who was honestly looking quite dead with her growing pale skin. She squinted her eyes before shaking Arturia.

"Ummm... Arturia?"

"!!!"

Arturia seemed to wake up and shook her head to get rid of her current dangerous thoughts.

'Just-.. Wha-... This is getting ridiculous!! To be influenced by the curse to this extent!! This curse... whatever it is, I must get rid of it as soon as possible!!'

"Thank you, Fubuki-san for the insight. I appreciate it. I... I will head back to the bed now. It was an excellent tea by the way."

She made an excuse before finishing her tea and headed towards her room in a hurried manner. Maybe once she has a sleep she could... Just sleep!!

Few months later

Arturia could be seen training inside the forest with her wooden shinai gifted by Fubuki-san who seemed to have insight on her love for swords. Wooden blocks attached to the tree branches could be seen swinging all around her. A wooden block came at her. She sidestepped right. into another block's path. She crouched and rolled once to her right. Her instinct seemed to flare up and she jumped forward without hesitation before a wooden log crashed into the place where she had been.

Now she started to block the wooden blocks and while casually dodging falling wooden logs. The more she started to block, the more force the block started to rain down on her.

'This is it.'

Without losing her focus she started to channel her prana from her core into her whole body making her more faster and stronger. In a flash she seemed to appear in front of one of the wooden blocks and cuts it in half before appearing to another and doing the same. The same motion repeated until the last of the blocks were roughly cut in half. The ground where she used her prana burst along with reinforcement was destroyed.

She wiped off her sweat.

"It took me 8 seconds to destroy ten small wooden blocks. My body is still not used to this much stress. My body can only last for a minute if I actively use my prana. The recovery of prana seems to be delayed by the damn curse. Extremely so. It used to take 5 minutes to recharge my expended prana but now it will take almost 2 hours. I can only use limited amount of prana due to trying to contain the curse. "

Arturia was really ready to rip her golden hair off. Seriously almost 70% of her prana was used to passively contain the curse from her magical resistance. She still didn't know where the curse had come from. But she could sense that the origin of the curse as well as the perpetrators to the 'Fuyuki Fire' incident was at the park. The same location where the grail had manifested as well as destroyed by hers truly.

And the smell of curse that man, Kiritsugu, had was any indication then there was something very wrong with the grail. Now that her prana was passively resisting the curse and she was getting more clear headed, she could form some hypothesis. Kiritsugu's dream was for world peace. A man who would do anything to get that wish. Why at the end would he throw the chance away? Why without remorse would he command her with two command seals to destroy it?

No reason to mull over it. The next holy grail war won't start for the next half century... but why do I get the feeling that I have just jinxed it somehow...

Arturia seemed to shiver for a bit.

This is all for the time being. Honestly I have no idea what the plot would be. I just wanted to make it the first fic about reincarnated Arturia after Fate Zero. As for love interest, honestly I have no idea. Will she fall in love with Shirou who is 6 years younger than her. Hmmm... Well see you later.