Chapter 15 : Secrets

Strapped into the pilot's seat, Darth Vader launched his lambda class shuttle from the main hangar of Kuat DriveYards, Fondor Division. He headed towards the space docks of the shipyards to make a slow pass around the Super Star Destroyer that would soon be his.Eleven times longer than a standard Star Destroyer, its size was ridiculous, really. It took the concept of lack of maneuverability to a whole new level, its mass surpassing that of a space ship and entering the realm of a space station. With the Death Star gone, this Super Star Destroyer would now be the most powerful weapon in the Galaxy.

But as he looked upon its seventeen kilometer length, he saw not power, but freedom. For the first time since the reassignment of Devastator following the Death Star disaster, he would again have his own ship. A ship wherein the crew would follow his standards, not the Imperial Navy's. A ship wherein the Imperial officers would be held accountable for their actions, and their performance would be strictly measured.

He could have no tolerance for errors. He never thought that the search for Luke would take this long. Almost three years he'd been chasing the Rebels, and he felt no closer to success. Every day that went by weighed heavily in his mind as he dreaded the fateful call that would someday come from Palpatine. The call in which Palpatine would say, "Tell me about your son, Lord Vader."

The very thought of it made him want to wring the Emperor's wrinkled neck, and this time with his bare hands, and not the Force. Never, he would never let Palpatine touch Luke. Not his mind, not his body, not his soul. He would never allow Palpatine to do to Luke like he had done to him.

The Force was crackling in him now, so great was his anger.Only the bitter knowledge that even now, even with the darkness of his thoughts infusing the Force into every muscle fiber, he was still not powerful enough to overcome Palpatine, only that tempered his rage.He could not do it alone. He needed Luke, just as Luke needed him.They would work together, watch each other's backs, be family.

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Sometimes Luke was amazed that she didn't just slap him. Or shout, "Enough !" But she didn't. Instead, Leia seemed to take his continual questioning in stride, actually tried to dig into her memory to give him the answers he was seeking.

It was not like he had a different question each time. It was always the same one. "What else do you remember your father telling you about the Jedi ?" he would say.

When she did remember something new, it was often a gem, a bit of information he couldn't find anywhere else. And it was not like he hadn't tried to research everything he could about the Jedi. The Alliance members who had lived through the Clone Wars recalled the Jedi as an important part of the Old Republic, but when he searched the data libraries, it was like they had hardly existed, like they had been erased from the history discs. If he did find something, usually it related to them being traitors to the Empire, which didn't fit with what little the older Alliance members had told him.

It made Leia's tidbits of information all the more precious to him. It had become an obsession with him, to know who the Jedi had been, to know what defined a Jedi Knight. It was the only link he had to his long dead father, and he wanted to understand who his father had been, even if it was only in this one way. Maybe, if he knew who his father had been, he could understand who he was.

He knew he wasn't a farmer. Owen and Beru had been very open from his earliest memories that they were not his parents, but rather his uncle and aunt. Why ? No one would have ever known the difference, least of all himself. So why had it been important to make that distinction ? After Ben told him that his father had really been a Jedi Knight, and not a navigator as Owen had told him, he began to think it was because his father had been someone important, that there had been a reason his name had stayed Skywalker, and not become Lars.

Once General Rieekan had overheard one of his conversations with Leia, and joined in with an especially dear piece of information that confirmed that belief.

"I never knew that he had any children, but there was a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker," he said.

"You knew him ?" Luke said with excitement.

"Everybody knew him. Or of him, anyways. He was a hero of the Clone Wars. He was on the Holonet at least once a week."

His search didn't mean he wasn't grateful to Owen for all that he had done for him, all that he had taught him.The survival skills he had learned from his uncle while living in the desert had proved surprisingly useful now that he was moving with the Alliance from planet to planet. While he might have chafed under Owen's strict discipline at home, he now found those lessons were serving him well as a soldier in the Alliance. The military had nothing on Owen.

The Alliance had fled Yavin 4 to new headquarters in the mountains of the planet Thila. The stop here was only temporary, though, just until the new base was completed on Hoth. Hoth would be another new environment for him; the planet was completely covered in ice and snow, and only marginally habitable.

He was ready for the challenge of Hoth. The time here on Thila was dragging, with the fleet grounded in order to ensure that the Empire didn't accidentally stumble across them. He still had his assigned shifts to pull, but they were hardly any more interesting than his time off. He was in between shifts now, sitting in his bunk with his back against the wall, the coarseness of the blanket faintly itchy against his bare feet.

Except for this period of enforced nonaction on Thila, he loved being a pilot in the Alliance. It was everything he ever dreamed of doing when he had been stuck back on Tatooine : flying spacecraft, fighting the good fight, being an integral member of the team. The Alliance had become like his family, really, and sometime he felt ungrateful for wanting still more. Maybe he should just be content to look forward to the future, and stop dwelling in the past. It was hard though, when understanding the past seemed so important to knowing what he should do now.

There was no ignoring that the Force spoke to him, and not to anyone else he knew, except for Ben. He had become accustomed to Ben's disembodied voice uttering instructions and encouragement to him from time to time.He had so many questions he wanted to ask Ben, but when he tried to talk to the voice, it never answered directly. The voice had helped him to become more aware of the Force and taught him a few new skills, but the sessions often left him frustrated because the process was so slow. Back on Tatooine he had promised Ben and himself that he would become a Jedi, like his father. But how could he become a Jedi if he didn't really know what it meant to be one ?

He was holding his father's lightsaber in his hand now, wishing it could talk. He rolled it from side to side, as if by close examination he could unveil its secrets.He noted how the ridges on the activator switch were worn a bit, how the handle grips were rounded off in a pattern that almost, but not quite, fit where his own hand lay. Wear that could only have been created by usage, by his father's hand. What battles had this lightsaber been in ? What enemies had it felled ? Was his father holding it when Vader killed him ? He didn't like to think about that, and decided it was unlikely, because how then could his father have given it to Obi-Wan to give to him ?

But Vader had killed his father, and not just his father. That was one of the first things Leia had told him, about the great Jedi Purge, and how the Emperor had commended Vader in front of the Senate for killing the Jedi. Ben said Vader had been a Jedi once, which meant Vader had betrayed and murdered not strangers, but his own friends. That was evil beyond compare, evil that could not go unpunished.

Leia had also told him some of her father's stories of the Jedi during the Clone Wars. While Ben had called the Jedi guardians of peace and freedom , by the time of the Clone Wars they were on the battlefield, leading the clone troops. Ben himself had called his father a cunning warrior. Whoever the Jedi really were, undeniably they were powerful fighters. A Jedi would avenge the death of another Jedi, wouldn't they ? Didn't all warriors do that ? Wouldn't his father have done that had he been left alive after the Purge ?

He remembered the last thing Ben ever said to him face to face, while they were still trapped on the Death Star.Your destiny lies along a different path from mine.What did that mean ? What was his destiny ? He was the son of the man who had been the greatest starpilot in all the Galaxy,a fierce warrior, and a hero from the Clone Wars.To follow in his father's footsteps, he would have to be a man of action and courage. As far as he knew no other Jedi existed, so it would fall to him to avenge his father and Ben, to avenge the Jedi. It would be his responsibility to kill Darth Vader.

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Something changed. At that very moment, with the snow drifting across his boots, something in the Force changed. The trajectory of the future shifted, as the Force pulled irreversibly down a new path. He strained to see more, but details evaded his vision. Luke, was it you that caused this disturbance in the Force ?

The now abandoned Rebel hangar on the ice planet Hoth was the closest he'd come to finding his son. He thanked the Force that the recently promoted Admiral Piett had been onboard Executor. Good man, that Piett. Excellent powers of observation, and enough courage to say what he thought. If not for Piett, that idiot Ozzel would have let them pass right on by Hoth, and he'd never be as close to finding Luke as he was now.

Although he had announced to Ozzel "That is the system, and I'm sure Skywalker is with them," only half of that had been the truth. He had been certain that the power generator located on a desolate planet had been evidence of the Rebel base, because despite Ozzel's ridiculous theory, smugglers did not invest large sums of credits in permanent structures. As for Luke being among them, that had been only a guess. Truth was, Luke was a stranger, and he could no more distinguish his presence among the many than he could renounce his life support suit.

He rooted through the debris left behind by the Rebels, passed his hands over the wreckage of their military workstations, tried to find something that would give definitive evidence of Luke's presence here. His search came up empty. Perhaps Luke had been on the Corellian freighter he now knew as the Millennium Falcon, the ship he and the stormtroopers had watched blast off from the hangar, just barely escaping capture. He didn't think so, though, because the change in the Force had come after the Millennium Falcon had left, as if Luke had still been here planetside.

He commed ahead to Captain Needa, instructing him to put the Avenger in full pursuit of the Millennium Falcon.The Millennium Falcon had come to Luke's rescue at the Battle of Yavin, so even if Luke wasn't on board, its crew would certainly know his whereabouts. What was a few more hours, or even days, compared to the years he had already waited to meet Luke ?

We will be together soon, my son.

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A few minutes ago, he had thought only of finding the Millennium Falcon admist the asteroid field it had entered. He had been thinking about what he would do, what he would say if Luke was on board. How he would compel the crew to reveal Luke's location if he were not. He was deciding what would be the first skill he would teach Luke.Then it had all turned to ash.

If Piett had been able to see through his mask, Vader was sure he would have averted his eyes, given him privacy for the stricken look on his face. Piett was that kind of man. But of course it was impossible to see his expression, and so Piett had not known that the Emperor's command to make contact had filled him with terror.There would be only one reason why Palpatine would be calling now ; he must have felt the same ripple in the Force.

His heart was in his throat as he made his way to the projection room. He had to gather himself, control his fear, appear absolutely unperturbed to Palpatine.

He knelt deeply on the holotransmitter platform, sunk his head down low, as he worked to push all thoughts out of his head. "What is thy bidding, my Master ?"

"There is a great disturbance in the Force," Palpatine said.

"I have felt it," he said. His worst fears were coming true. He hadn't been fast enough. He hadn't found Luke in time.

"We have a new enemy. The young Rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker," the Emperor said.

"How is that possible ?" he said. You lying heap of dung. You who told me I killed Padme'. You who told me my child died with her. How is that possible, you worthless waste of midi-chlorians ?

"Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us."

You have no idea how long I've known it to be true. He could destroy you, you mean. He is my son, afterall.

"He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him." But I can.

"The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi," Palpatine said.

Ahh, there was the source of the disturbance in the Force . Another survivor of the Purge must be with Luke, must be starting to train him in the ways of the Jedi.For once I agree with you, Master. That possibility would complicate things.

He tried to pull the Emperor's malevolent gaze away from Luke. "If he could be turned, he could be a powerful ally."

The Emperor's tone made it sound as if he were truly considering the proposition for the first time. "Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done ?"

"He will join us or die, Master," he said. By my own hand, if that's what it takes to save him from becoming your "asset".

His anger fed his bravado, but he still realized that with Palpatine's awareness of Luke, the act of training his son had just grown exponentially more difficult. And if Luke was already being trained by a Jedi, there was no telling what poison was being pumped into his mind. To bring Luke to his side, he might have to combat both the Emperor and his son's unknown mentor.

His thoughts drifted unbidden to the past, and his confidence abandoned him. He saw his mother die in his arms, felt the warmth leave her body. He heard Palpatine telling him Padme' was dead, felt the gash in his heart that had never healed over. Not this time. This time I will not fail.

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Luke Skywalker decided he liked rain. Of all the new things he'd encountered after leaving Tatooine, rain had been one of the most foreign.After spending his youth working on the family moisture farm, fighting nature to glean precious water from thin air, he'd discovered there were places where water literally fell from the sky. It was like that here on Dagobah, and while its swampy wetness bothered him at first, in the end, he decided he liked the rain. Especially when he was inside Master Yoda's hut, the interior warmed by fire, and the raindrops softly hitting the roof with a now familiar and soothing sound.

He was lying in his bed on the floor of the hut, his blanket only loosely over him, the heat from the fireplace pervading the small dwelling. He had gotten his wish. He was learning to be a Jedi, being taught by the Jedi Master of all Jedi Masters, at least any that had lived in the past 800 years. Trouble was, he was more confused than ever. Everything that Yoda was teaching him went totally against what he thought he knew about the Jedi.

Yoda didn't talk about warriors or fighting or being a hero. He talked about being calm and passive, about using the Force only for defense.More than that, he said that for a Jedi, emotion was wrong. To have feelings, to use the information they provided was acceptable, but to act on those feelings was wrong. And not just negative emotions like anger and hate, but even feelings of love and friendship. A Jedi was not supposed to have attachments. Was that why his father left him with Owen and Beru ? A Jedi was not supposed to have a family ? How could love lead to the Dark Side ?

It all seemed so strange, and he would have cast a doubtful eye on Yoda's teachings, except that they worked. When he was able to clear his mind completely he could feel the Force more strongly than he had ever thought possible. He finally understood what Ben had meant about a Jedi feeling the Force flowing through him.It was always there, and he just had to learn to let it in, let it help him. It enabled him to move things with his mind, to sense the feelings of the other creatures around him. He could feel the tree branch under the coils of the snake, the snake's alarm when he grasped it.He had to agree; it was very peaceful and calming to feel connected to every living thing.

But communing with nature couldn't be all there was to being a Jedi.Yoda had spoken in an almost reverential tone about how powerful Luke's father had been. How could power and passivity go together ? How could he be expected to know that Darth Vader had killed his father,killed Ben, decimated the Jedi Order, and do nothing about it ? Ben must have sent him to Yoda for a purpose beyond mere education. Why was he being trained at all, if it were not to take action ?

There must be a way for the two paths to cross, to follow the way of the Jedi, and to follow what was in his own heart.He already knew the Jedi answer would be to trust in the Force, to let his destiny be revealed to him.Yoda would say he had to learn to let go, to be at peace. But what if what it took for him to be at peace was to destroy Darth Vader ?

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He'd been staring at the viewscreen inside the hyperbaric chamber for way too long, reading the incoming reports, trying to find the Millennium Falcon . He'd been staring at the screen so long, in fact, that his vision had become a little blurry. It was like there was a mist in the room. He cursed the mask for preventing the simple act of rubbing his eyes. He tried blinking it away, but it was still there. In fact it was getting thicker, like a fog, and soon it covered everything. He felt cold, though the temperature regulator should have made that sensation impossible, but the chill was strong enough to make him shiver inside the suit.

Now all around him he could see gnarled tree roots hanging in the air, as if he were below ground.Ahead he could just make out the outline of a path, and he moved forward to see where it led. The ground was muddy, moisture laden, and it squished beneath his boots.Snakes crawled in and out among the tree roots.

Then suddenly someone was there, coming through the mist. A youth, blond like he had once been, but not him, in a flightsuit that was not Imperial issue.The young man stepped back from him, looked at him with guarded eyes that seemed almost hateful.

He took in the boy's face, followed the features that were not unlike his own."Luke," he called, but no sound came out. "Luke, is that you ?"

The boy answered by igniting his lightsaber, holding it forward in a challenging manner.

"Luke, what are you doing ? I'm your father," he thought he said, but he couldn't hear it.

The blue lightsaber pushed towards him, and he brought his own crimson blade up to meet it. They exchanged parries while he wondered why they were fighting, and then the boy unleashed a mighty swing that must have hit him. It must have hit him because he felt himself falling, felt his head hit the ground roughly .

The boy was standing over him now, the lightsaber not sheathed, though at least his expression had softened. He saw the saber handle in the boy's hand, really saw it for the first time. It was his lightsaber, the one Obi-Wan had taken from him on Mustafar, held tightly in what could only be Luke's hand.

"Why ?" he thought, and then a brilliant flash of light blinded him.

By sheer will he brought himself out of the vision, pushed the Force out of his mind, until he could feel only the hard angles of the chair arms, see only the interior control panels of the meditation chamber. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest.

Was this the future ? Luke wanted to kill him ? But why ? They were blood, they were father and son. He was going to train him, teach him all the ways of the Force, so that together they could bring peace and justice to the Galaxy. Why would his own son want to kill him ? Unless...

Unless Luke knew that his father had attacked his mother right before his birth, had contributed to her death. Unless Obi-Wan had told Luke of the slaughter at the Jedi Temple. Unless his own son hated him for what he had done.

He realized he did not know this boy, did not know what dwelled in his heart. Not you, too, Luke. Don't you turn against me.