Chapter 16 : Ghosts

He had been caught red-handed.Even if by some possibility Luke had kept his thoughts of vengeance hidden from Master Yoda before, it was all out in the open now, after his vision in the cave.

"Hmmm," Yoda said with a sound that said both nothing and everything.

Maybe Yoda was right; revenge was a motive unbefitting a Jedi. The past could not be changed and the dead could not be revived by any action he could take.But acceptance was such a hard lesson. More difficult than moving stones, or using the Force to somersault his body, acceptance didn't even require the Force. It was simply a state of mind, but one that seemed pivotal to becoming a Jedi.

Accept your destiny, accept the things that happened to you, feel no anger, no hatred, no passion. Just be. And he was trying, both to please Yoda and because the alternative was rather frightening. He'd lost many hours of sleep trying to figure out the meaning of his vision in the cave, to understand why his own face had been inside Vader's mask. Because if he were to strike Vader down, he would become like Vader ? If he struck Vader down, it would be like killing himself ? Underneath, Vader was like him ? Wow, that one was really crazy.

Whatever it meant, it was certainly a warning.It felt like the Dark Side crouched behind every tree, just waiting for him to make a wrong move.The Dark Side could come in through so many doors : anger, fear, greed, love.To avoid being seduced by the Dark Side, whatever that really meant, he would have to work to be exactly the Jedi that Yoda described : peaceful, serene, nonreactive, always in control.

He was nowhere near being that person. He felt too much, especially about his friends. Back on Tatooine, his feelings and his loyalty had always served him well, but that was before he knew of the Force. Being sensitive to the Force was a gift, but he now realized that it was also a burden.The Force was a powerful weapon that could destroy as easily as it could protect.

Why hadn't Master Yoda just left his X-wing submerged in the swamp ? If he didn't have the option of leaving, he would have had to stay and finish his training, accept that he could not help Han and Leia. But with the X-wing available, there was no way he couldn't go to help them. As much as he had learned from Yoda, he had not yet learned to be detached

He looked around on the ground for any piece of gear he might have forgotten. Nope, all on board except for one thing. He closed his eyes, focused his mind, and used the Force to set R2 on the upper deck of the X-wing.

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Sometimes he wondered how much of the future Palpatine actually saw through the Force, and how much of his predictive ability was simply the result of following logic. He himself could have impressed his crew, said that he forsaw that the Millennium Falcon would come to Bespin, but that would be lying to them. Once Boba Fett had relayed that the Corellian ship had not blasted into hyperspace, but instead drifted off at sub-lightspeed when the fleet dispersed, the list of possible destinations had shrunk considerably. When Fett added that the Millennium Falcon had once been owned by Lando Calrissian, the administrator of Bespin and a known associate of the current owner of the freighter, the answer had become obvious. He was going to have to give Fett a little extra for that last bit of information.

It bothered him some that he could duplicate Palpatine's methods so easily. Calrissian, a smuggler at heart no matter how official his position at Bespin, eagerly went for the deal that promised diversion of Imperial attention from his untaxed business. People were so willing to do what you asked if you just held the right prize in front of them.

When the Millennium Falcon landed on Bespin, his hopes rose when he felt a glimmer of the Force onboard the freighter. Watching the passengers come down the ramp, he was disappointed to see the source of Force energy was not Luke, but Leia Organa, whose incidental Force talent he had already noted. Not his son, but a prominent Rebel, and hopefully one that would lead him to Luke.

He could accept having a Rebel for a son. He couldn't accept Luke being a Jedi. It wasn't that he disagreed with everything the Jedi had taught him; quite the contrary he found himself frequently using some aspect of his early training. The skills themselves were not the issue, although he would rather be teaching Luke himself. The problem lay in the philosophy that would be shoved down Luke's throat if he indeed were being taught by a survivor of the Purge.

If Luke was being indoctrinated in the Jedi way, no doubt he was being told to never act out of emotion, to forsake any attachments he might have, and to fear the Dark Side as if it could swallow him whole. If Luke believed all of those things, it would make his real training that much more difficult.

He remembered his first encounter with Dooku; he had looked upon the Sith Lord as evil incarnate, an absolute enemy to everything he believed in. He would have dismissed anything Dooku had to offer without even thinking about it. Continued Jedi training would make Luke equally resistant to everything he needed to teach him, everything Luke would have to learn so that they could overthrow Palpatine.

An ordinary Jedi, even an extraordinary Jedi, would have no hope of victory against the Emperor. There were days that if he had to listen to Palpatine's story of defeating Yoda in the Senate chamber one more time, he would have pulled off his helmet and ended it all right there. So, unless Luke had miraculously become stronger than Yoda, more than Jedi skills would be required to accomplish Palpatine's end. Those that said the Dark Side was not stronger were either lying or had never felt that absolute firestorm of Force energy that came with anger and hate, had never experienced Force lightning ravaging their body. Luke would have to learn it all if the Galaxy was to be freed from Palpatine's rule.

If Luke was like himself at that age, he would believe that any act taken in anger would grab him like quicksand and begin an inexorable slide to the Dark Side.Luke's Jedi training must be halted immediately, before his mind became totally closed to the full spectrum of Force skills. Chasing Luke across the Galaxy had proved far too inefficient, and it was time to try a different tactic.If Luke was like himself, then the boy would be unable to resist a call for help, especially from close friends.The Rebel captives could be put to good use, to create a mental distress signal that would draw Luke to Bespin. He hoped his son would forgive him for using a manipulation worthy of Palpatine, and promised to explain everything when they were finally face to face.

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They really didn't want him to go. Master Yoda and Ben had tried their hardest to change his mind, but he knew he had to leave, couldn't let his friends suffer because of him. He was in his X-wing now, streaking through hyperspace to a destination he had only felt through the Force. Traveling at lightspeed in a small ship was a wondrous journey compared to the insulated experience it was on board large craft. The starlines swirled all around his cockpit, making him feel like a part of space itself. When he had the ship on droid control, he liked to lean back in his seat and enjoy the visual display. For this trip, though, he was maintaining full alertness, with the ship on manual control.

While he waited for the Force to tell him when to drop out of hyperspace, he tried to grasp the importance they had placed on him completing his Jedi training without interruption. Back on Tatooine sometimes he had to skip school at the height of harvest season to help Uncle Owen; he'd always made up the lessons he missed by the end of the year. He wasn't sure why this was different. Once he'd rescued Han and Leia, he'd return to Dagobah and finish his training.

It probably had to do with the bantha in the room that nobody wanted to talk about, the fact that they all knew Vader would be at the city in the clouds. He himself had purposefully refrained from discussing that part of his vision, concentrating on Leia and Han's pain and distress. Yoda hadn't mentioned it at first, either, but when it became clear that he couldn't be dissuaded from leaving, suddenly both Yoda and Ben began warning him about taking on Vader.

He wasn't leaving his training for that purpose, though, no matter what Master Yoda thought of his vision in the cave. He was going to rescue Han and Leia. If he had to face Vader, he wouldn't back down, but he wasn't going to seek him out, either. And how the Emperor got into the picture, he wasn't sure at all. He was just one Rebel; why would the Emperor be interested in him ? It almost seemed like Yoda and Ben were holding something back, not telling him the whole story.

They had nothing to worry about; he was Luke Skywalker, the destroyer of the Death Star. He could take care of himself. Like the Death Star mission, he was just going to get in, get the job done, and get out. He'd be back on Dagobah in no time.

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His son was coming. He could feel it, the spotlight of Force energy that was drawing near, the one without a familiar mental signature attached.

With all the years of effort he had invested in trying to find Luke, his son's imminent arrival should have filled him with joy. Instead, his stomach was in knots, and his thoughts were flying out of control. It didn't help that the view from any window in Cloud City was reminiscent of the view from his apartment high up in Imperial City. And of the view from Padme's apartment.

The stronger the Force signal became, the more the past roared up to torment him.What if he asks me about his mother ? What do I tell him about her ?

Her face filled his mind so strongly that it brought other memories, long surpressed, and he not only saw her face, but remembered her scent, felt the softness of her skin. He remembered her kiss, what it felt like to lose himself in her body. But most of all he remembered what it was like to feel safe in her embrace, to have a place to let down his guard. His eyes brimmed with tears, and once again he couldn't live without her, even though he knew he already had.

In the unfolding images in his mind, one moment was almost hidden, such was the glare of what came after, the event after it so hardwired that all it took was a lapse in his defenses, and he was back on that landing platform on Mustafar.That memory was exquisitely vivid, the moment when he reached out with the Force not as a caress, but as a punishment, when he tried not to save her, but for a moment, thought of killing her.

Washed out in the blinding glare of that moment were the events that came before, the words that caused the moment to happen. The point at which he first realized she was not coming with him, despite all he had done for her, all he would give for her.She was choosing to leave his side, even though he had sacrificed everything he was just to be with her.You're going down a path I can't follow...Because of what you've done.

He heard the words in her voice, repeated again and again, until the voice changed, and it was no longer feminine, but masculine.Because of what you've done, you've gone down a path I can't follow, said the voice, except that it was no longer Padme's but his son's.

Why didn't I stop that day I saw you on Tatooine ? I could have made Owen understand that it was me, there were things I could have told him that only he and I would have known. I could have held you, and stroked your hair until you fell asleep,like my mother used to do for me. I would have come to know your mind so that I could find you anywhere. I could have let you know me so that you would not be afraid of me. You could have grown up knowing that your father loves you.

We belong together, Luke. Whatever they've told you about me, it's probably a lie. They were afraid of me. They didn't trust me and they never understood me. I did kill them all, that part is not a lie, but if they told you I did it for power, that I did it out of bloodlust, they are wrong. I did it to save her, to save your mother. Once, I too believed that the Dark Side was a stealthy predator that would consume my heart if I stepped off the Jedi path. So when my Master told me that I had to commit a horrendous act in order to become strong with the power of the Dark Side, I believed him. I believed that killing the Jedi was such a terrible thing that it would cause the Dark Side to fill me with the strength to save your mother's life.

You want to know what it was really like ? You want to know how it felt to destroy the Jedi Order ? I'll tell you how it was : You are not angry with them when you cut them down, but rather ashamed when they recognize you, and you want that bewildered look to pass from their eyes.You are barely able to lead the clone troops through the Jedi Temple because you have to stop and vomit behind every pillar because you are so revolted by what you are doing. You keep killing faster and faster, not because you feel the passion of righteousness, but because you need it to be over, you need it to stop, but you cannot stop until they are all dead. You think that for having committed these murders you will now be infused with a mystical Dark power. Instead you find the Force is a unity, the division of Dark and Light only the creation of men. You have started down a dark path, and it does now dominate your destiny, but not because you have changed, but because your actions have taken you so far from where you started that there is no road back, and all that is left for you is to go further into the darkness.

I didn't mean to end up here, Luke. Can you understand that ? Can you see past their lies, can you see that I am not evil ? Don't forsake me, Luke. Only together can we set right that which went astray. Only together.

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He didn't like it, the ease with which his son's name fell out of every crewman's mouth. He had guarded that secret for so long, that it seemed an obscenity to have it pronounced so freely. After their conversation outside the asteroid field, Palpatine must have commed every ship in the Imperial Navy to announce that the Empire was in search of Luke Skywalker.

Luke's capture would be a triumph for the Navy, a prize for the Emperor. That's not what he wanted to happen. He and Luke needed privacy, time together, so that he could explain the past, give his son time to understand why his father had made the choices he had.They needed to complete Luke's training away from prying eyes that might report what they saw to the Emperor.

He thought he had the solution.Carbon-freezing. It was a little risky, but unusual problems called for unusual solutions. If Luke was safely frozen, it would eliminate the possibility of accidental or intentional injury when Luke was taken into Imperial custody. If everything went as planned, he would spirit Luke away to a secret location, and revive him quickly before hibernation sickness set in. He might even concoct a story that Luke did not survive the freezing process. Palpatine would see through the ruse eventually, but it might gain them that precious commodity : time

First he had to make sure that Bespin's carbon-freezing chamber was capable of placing a living being safely in hibernation. Another of the captured Rebels, the smuggler Han Solo, would serve as the test case. At least it would get Fett off his back. While Fett's services had been instrumental in finding the crew of the Millennium Falcon, he could do without the bounty hunter's continual insistance on taking Solo now.

He was watching the Rebels' melodrama unfold now : the futile protest of the loyal Wookiee friend, the passionate kiss between lovers about to be parted, the declaration of love from the Princess to Solo.

"I know," was Solo's only response to her as he was lowered into the carbon-freezing chamber.

He shook his head inside his helmet.Coward. You don't know if you'll see her again.You should tell her what you feel. She wants you to.

The blast of super-cooled liquid eliminated the possibility of Solo saying anything more. His carbonite encased body was lifted from the chamber and unceremoniously dumped on the upper platform.

Leia Organa's face was filled with horror as she looked upon the frozen slab of carbonite. Something in him wanted to soothe her mind, to ease her fears, and bring her some measure of comfort. The look of hatred she directed at him said she might not appreciate the gesture.

"Well, Calrissian ?" he said. "Did he survive ?"

"Yes, he's alive," came the reply. "And in perfect hibernation."

So, it would work. "He's all yours, bounty hunter," he said."Reset the chamber for Skywalker."

He wanted them all out of the room : the stormtroopers, the Rebels, the Imperial officer who felt compelled to tell him what he already knew, that Luke's X-wing had landed at Cloud City. He wanted them all out before Luke entered the chamber. This was a family matter, not a public display. He ordered Calrissian to take the remaining Rebels to his ship, and the Imperial troops followed behind to ensure Calrissian's cooperation.

He was at last alone in the chamber. He could feel a presence in the Force that must be Luke moving steadily towards him.Almost here. The moment was almost here when Luke would walk into the room, and they would at last be face to face.Even though he knew there was a strong possibility things might not go smoothly between them, he hadn't completely abandoned his dreams of Luke. For a moment, he didn't think of Palpatine, or the Jedi, or the Galactic Civil War. For a moment, he was just a man waiting to see his son.

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This was different. It felt like the volume and brightness of life had been turned up all the way. He hadn't noticed it back in the swamps of Dagobah, where he'd grown accustomed to the environment. But here, in this city among the clouds, on this planet his navcomputer told him was named Bespin, in these new surroundings it was like the planet had ten suns. He felt things he'd never been aware of before.

He could sense Leia somewhere in the building, the physical distress that he'd felt on Dagobah replaced by a new emotional sorrow. He could feel through closed doors which rooms were occupied. He knew which way to turn down hallways that he'd never walked before.

So this is what it's like to be a Jedi.

Multiple sensations bombarded him at once, and he had to work at keeping himself focused.He suddenly knew that a group was approaching the hallway intersection, though he wasn't sure if it was the Force or the sound of footsteps that arrived in his head first. He peered around the corner to watch his perception come true. Why did it feel like Han had just gone by when he knew he hadn't seen him ?

Once the entire party had passed by he ran after them to the next point of cover. The blaster fire that almost hit him said someone had noticed him. He returned fire until his assailant quit. He turned down an adjacent corridor that emptied just ahead of the next group of stormtroopers.

This time many Imperials saw him, and blaster fire erupted all around. In the commotion he heard first the bark of Chewie, and then a frantic warning from Leia. "Luke, it's a trap! " she managed to shout out twice.

It didn't matter if it was a trap. He was here to rescue her, and Han and Chewie, so where she was going, he was going. As soon as the blaster fire stopped, he moved forward after her captors.

Even though he was only seconds behind them, they had vanished. The hallway fell abruptly silent. No footsteps, no voices, no zips from a blaster. Nothing to indicate where he should go next.

He drew in a deep breath and reached out with the Force the way Yoda had taught him. The corridors around him felt empty, devoid of life, except for a notable presence in the Force. It felt like it was watching him, very calmly, very quietly, but lacking the comforting manner of Master Yoda's presence. Even though Yoda was strong enough with the Force to have moved his submerged X-wing as if it had been a pebble, the Jedi Master's presence never exuded power. The presence he felt now was not like that at all, its stillness marred by flares of Force energy that flicked out from it like the corona around a stellar eclipse.

As he walked on he knew he was coming closer to the presence, but he couldn't turn away. He should be trying to find Han and Leia, but he couldn't stop himself, even though he knew the presence could only be Vader.

He stepped through a doorway and the white hallways of Bespin yielded to dark metal. The door slammed shut behind him, but he barely took notice. The soldier in him should have been concerned, should have looked for a way out, but escape didn't even cross his mind. He finally understood what Ben had meant when he spoke of destiny. He was supposed to be here, he could feel it.

What seemed like solid floor became an elevator platform, and he rode it while it whooshed to the top of its travel. The presence was so close now he ought to be able to see it, but the room he found himself in was dense with shadows. He looked down at the blaster in his hand. Not the weapon of a Jedi Knight. He holstered the blaster and ran his fingers over his lightsaber.

He didn't know if his father could communicate with him from the afterlife the way that Ben did, but if ever there was a time to try, this was it. Father, if you can hear me, just know I'll make you proud.