Chapter 17 : Dreams of You
The elevator platform sprang up from the lower level, and there he was. His son. Flesh and blood, not a fantasy son in his head, not a three year old boy playing in the desert sand. His grown-up son.
The dim light kept him from seeing Luke's face, but he didn't need to. He could feel him through the Force, and that told him so much more. Luke, glowing as brilliantly in the Force as ever, but with a new edge, no doubt due to the focusing of his abilities through the lens of training. Unself-conscious, making no effort to mask his feelings, Luke's confidence and sense of purpose bristled around him.The boy reached out with the Force, searching, aware, touched him lightly, and withdrew.
He felt as proud of his son now as he would have at watching the boy's first steps. He realized he was smiling.
He took it all in : Luke's cool, controlled movements at odds with the almost fiery thoughts streaming from his mind.The military uniform. The blaster clutched in his hand instead of a lightsaber. He was not too late. Whatever training Luke had begun, it was far from complete.
He flicked on the overhead lights with his mind. " The Force is strong with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet."
Luke turned towards him, located him at the top level platform, and met his gaze with an unflinching stare. The boy advanced up the steps of the platform, athletic and lithe, moving without hesitation.
His smile faded. He saw new details as Luke approached, details that were familiar. He could see Luke clearly now, his face exactly as it was in his vision. The same tan Rebel flightsuit. And the lightsaber the boy held was his own, the one he had crafted before the boy was born.
Luke was silent, standing before him with an expression that matched the one he bore in the vision, intense, unblinking, almost predatory. He prepared to draw his own lightsaber, but kept it sheathed, hoping against hope.
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He was supposed to be here. As if his own feelings weren't enough to convince him of that fact, Vader addressed him by name.
So, you know who I am. You know who I am because my father was a Jedi, a powerful Jedi. You know who I am because I am to be the avenger. This moment has already been written, and I will fulfill my destiny.
As he climbed the steps to the upper platform where Vader awaited, he repeated the thought-this moment is already written- to steady his nerves, because the closer he got, the more he realized how big Vader really was. Not just in the physical sense, though there was no denying the intimidation factor present in two meters of black armor, but in the Force. It was like walking up to a supernova.
They were face to face now, no words between them, none necessary because their roles were already established. The murderer and the avenger, the hand of evil and the hand of justice. Yoda's words came to him-Do or do not. Luke activated his lightsaber, and took aim at Darth Vader.
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The ignition of Luke's lightsaber snuffed out his last bit of hope.So, this is how it will be.
The boy was not subtle in his technique. His son's lightsaber came swinging at his head, the boy's full weight thrown behind it, as if the lethal power of the lightsaber was not weapon enough. Passionate, but not smart. He met the blows easily, pushed Luke backwards off his feet.The boy picked himself up off the floor, came back at him without missing a beat.
Ah, the persistence of youth.
He yielded ground, moved back carefully in response to Luke's unrelenting pressure. Who are you fighting for, son ? Whose honor do you think you are avenging ? Obi-Wan's ? The Jedi ? Condemned me already, have you ?
Countering the energy of Luke's swings was giving him a work-out like he hadn't had in years. The boy needed to refine his style, but at the moment his intense drive was making up for his lack of knowledge. His self-confidence shown through, his mind unguarded and honest. The boy was performing amazingly well considering his level of training.
"You have learned much, young one," he said.
"You'll find I'm full of surprises," came the retort.
His own insolence reflected back at him did not strike him as amusing.Time for you to learn who you're sparring with, son.
He undercut the blade of Luke's lightsaber with his own, and flung the handle out of Luke's hand. An inhibited strike in front of the boy sent his son tumbling down the stairs. He leapt off the platform after him, using the Force to glide through a controlled fall.
Now weaponless, the look of hostility had left Luke's face and was replaced by concern, but not panic. His eyes darted about the room, the roiling activity in his mind completely palpable in the Force.
We just need to focus all that energy in the right direction, Luke.
"Your destiny lies with me, Skywalker. Obi-Wan knew this to be true."
That statement drew Luke's eyes into his own. "No," was the only reply the boy could muster, and he failed to notice that the stage of the carbon-freezing chamber was beginning to lower into the pit.
Forgive me for what I'm about to do, Luke, but it seems to be the only way. He stepped towards Luke, and as the boy retreated he fell directly into the open chamber.
"All too easy," he said, activating the control lever with his mind. "Perhaps you are not as strong as the Emperor thought."
He peered into the chamber, but Luke was not there. A noise drew his attention upwards, and he spotted Luke in the overhead mechanism. The smile returned to his face.
"Impressive, most impressive," he said as he lashed at the bundle of hoses Luke was using as a scaffold.
The boy somersaulted down from his high perch and directed a blast of cold Tibanna gas from a severed hose straight at him while simultaneously summoning his lightsaber to his hand. The stream of escaping gas momentarily pushed him backwards, and by the time he had recovered, Luke was ready, ignited lightsaber in hand.
The boy was thinking on his feet, keeping his mind under control."Obi-Wan has taught you well."
Now if could just get his son to stop attacking him. He remembered the day when Palpatine revealed himself to be a Sith Lord, a time when Palpatine was not yet his master. He had almost killed him on the spot, but for the then Supreme Chancellor's deft deflection of his intention by a plea for him to use the Dark Side. The call to step into the forbidden zone, to abandon his Jedi training, had made him reconsider his plan, and deflated his determination.
"You have controlled your fear," he said. "Now release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me."
The confused look on Luke's face said his words had hit the mark. Uncertainty was now clouding the boy's mind.However much he might loathe Palpatine, he had to agree that his methods were effective. He launched a new round of blows with his lightsaber, but Luke held enough focus to return them successfully.
Luke switched from defense to offense and he stepped back from his son's attack, only to find he had misjudged the edge of the platform, and found himself falling the three meter drop and landing flat on his back.
Glad there was no one there to see that.
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The Dark Side wasn't stronger. Here he was, a half trained Jedi youth, and he'd just sent Darth Vader tumbling backwards off the edge of the platform. Sure, Vader had disarmed him once, and maneuvered him just right so that he fell into that cold pit, but he'd overcome it all. He'd used the Force to leap out of the pit, to call his fallen lightsaber to his hand, and now he'd just battled Vader back over the brink.
He was worried that his emotions were skating dangerously close to the line, that his strength was coming too easily from his own anger. But he'd been able to pull himself back, especially when Vader tried to entice him to use the Dark Side.He'd held steadfast in his beliefs, and still gotten the better of his opponent.
He jumped down off the platform into the darkness. Time to finish what he'd started.
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From the reactor control room located beneath the carbon freezing facility, he reached out with the Force to locate Luke, and realized he still could not recognize his son's presence. He felt a presence in the Force, however, moving towards the same control room.
He thought Luke would sense him as well, but when the boy appeared in the room he seemed lost until he heard the sound of the ventilator. Upon recognizing the sound Luke turned towards him, and reignited his lightsaber , the expression of determination back on his face.
You don't give up do you ? Perhaps you are stronger than the Emperor thought. Let's find out what you really know, son.
He held his own crimson blade in front of him in defense position, then used his mind to pull a metal cylinder from the wall and throw it at Luke. The boy swung at the flying cylinder with his lightsaber, slicing it, but doing nothing to halt its momentum.
Ah, we just found the limit of your experience, Luke. You need to use your mind to stop it, not your lightsaber.
He stepped forward to engage Luke with his lightsaber. The boy was comfortable with this form of battle, and met his blows with seemingly undiminished strength and resolve. He sent another container flying towards Luke's back, and this time the boy lost his focus, neither sensing the metal box before it struck him nor warding it off .
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He'd been conned, given the false impression that he was able to hold his own against Vader. It was now being revealed to him quite clearly that previously he had seen only a portion of Vader's power. With casual ease, Vader was able to simultaneously engage him in a lightsaber duel and hurl things at him from around the room. Not just levitate objects, but throw them with enough speed that they hit him, they almost knocked him off his feet. He felt chagrined that he had ignored Yoda's warning, that he'd been felled not by hatred, but by pride.
His strength was fading, and the adrenalin that had kept him going was quickly running out. He slashed ineffectually with his lightsaber, unable to stop the assault of airborne metal. From the corner of his eye he could see Vader passively observing him, ignoring the opportunity to charge in for the victory. He was being toyed with, and he didn't know how he was going to get himself out of this mess.
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He stepped back from the boy and lowered his lightsaber, continuing to use the Force to throw objects at Luke.This method of attack completely befuddled the boy, robbing him of his concentration.. He felt of the boy's unguarded mind, committing to memory the characteristics that were unique to Luke. He swept past the surface feelings of desperation, felt the inner core of resolve, tried to feel for the source of his son's unrelenting opposition.The knife edge of righteous indignation and judgement he thought he would find was not there.
A thought struck him.Is it possible he doesn't know ?
His own focus became wrapped in that idea, and the piece of machinery he was tossing at Luke slipped from his control and went crashing through the enormous window facing the reactor shaft. The pressure gradient sucked the air out of the control room at high velocity. He grabbed onto a support column to counter the wind, but Luke had no such protection, and he watched him get pulled out through the gaping hole. He strode to the window to see Luke hanging precariously off the outer walkway.
Enough of this. Somebody was going to get hurt. This was not going the way he had thought it would. There had been neither the joyous reunion that he had dreamed of, but not expected, nor the lash of accusations from Luke that he was prepared to answer. If he could just get Luke to stop fighting so that they could talk it all over.
He walked down to the level that was adjacent to the outer walkway.He held his breath, and prepared to mount an overwhelming assault that would bring an end to this counterproductive battle.When Luke stepped close to him, unaware of his presence, he flew at his son, no longer keeping his blows inhibited.
He unleashed his real power, driving the boy backwards down a narrow gantry, finally pushing him off his feet."You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed, as Obi-Wan did."
He felt Luke's mind, sensed that the boy expected to die.I don't want to kill you, Luke.You're my son. I only want to protect you.
The boy found a last reserve of strength, and scrambled to his feet, engaging his lightsaber once again. This time the boy found an opening and he felt the burn of Luke's lightsaber through his armor into his flesh. His body, sensitized to pain and damage, flashed him back to Mustafar, and the pain transformed into rage. He struck out and disarmed his opponent without even thinking.
Except that his opponent was his son, who was now clutching the stump of his right arm, the look of agony on his face all too familiar.I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Luke, stop fighting me. I can't let Palpatine have you.
"There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you."
The boy in front of him still said nothing, only backed further out on the gantry, further away from him. This boy did not respond at all like the son he had imagined. Could the child really be so cold in his need for vengeance that he felt none of the connection between them ? Did he want nothing from his father, not even explanations ?
"Luke," he said, saying the name out loud for the first time,"You do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the Galaxy."
He was offering him everything, and yet the boy still increased the distance between them. "I'll never join you," came the response.
The answer was too dogmatic and quick. You really don't know, do you ? That's why you're fighting me. You don't know who I am.
"If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke was as far out on the gantry as was possible, the wind whipping mightly around him, but his voice came through as strongly as if it were on his helmet comlink. "He told me enough. He told me you killed him."
You took everything else from me,Obi-Wan, and still you needed to rob me of my son ?
"No, I am your father."
Luke did not look enlightened."No...no...that's not true. That's impossible."
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true." Can't you feel it, Luke, the connection between us ?
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He hated that he couldn't know the answer through his own memories. To know who his father was, he had to trust the person who was telling him. Growing up, he had no reason to doubt Owen and Beru, not until Ben told him differently.Now Ben's word was in question. It was all a matter of trust, and he hated that the person it seemed he should trust the most was the monster in front of him. It seemed he should trust him because when Vader could have killed him, he held back, pleaded with him instead. It seemed that he should trust him because when he thought of Vader as his father , he felt a spreading tranquility in the Force.
But if Vader was telling him the truth, then the whole rest of his life was a lie. He wasn't the son of a war hero, the instrument of justice, he was a product of darkness, an unwitting heir to murder. He didn't want his life to be a lie. He didn't even want destiny anymore, not if destiny's face was always this cruel.
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The feeling did not bring Luke comfort."Noooooo...nooooo...," he wailed.
"Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has forseen this. It is your destiny." Even if you cannot accept me, you must accept that.
"Join me, and together we can rule the Galaxy as father and son." Do you know how long I have held that dream, Luke ? Since the moment I saw you,son, the moment I saw you.
He saw the edges of that dream begin to unravel as Luke looked only for a way out, not a way back. A terrible clarity came to his son's face. He extended his arm even farther out to the boy, trying to make contact. "Come with me. It is the only way."
A strange expression, conveying both victory and self satisfaction, never left Luke's face, not even when he tumbled backwards into the unending depth of the reactor shaft.He stayed with him as he fell, used the Force to soften the boy's impact, felt the winds of Bespin's atmosphere buffet the boy's body.He could do nothing more for him from here.
He let go of the Luke's mind to make his way back to his shuttle.An Imperial officer ran up to him as he headed to the landing platform.
"M'Lord, while you were tracking down Skywalker, the Rebels were able to escape in the Millennium Falcon."
Brave of you to tell me that. Lucky for you, I have more important things on my mind.
" We will deal with the Rebels later," he said on his way to the ramp of the lambda class shuttle."Tell my Star Destroyer to prepare for my arrival."
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His mind found him, even before his eyes picked up the sight of the Millennium Falcon working to evade the TIE fighters launched from Executor. The boy was exhausted, spent, almost to the point of unconsciousness, not even the agony of his severed arm enough to keep him lucid.
Luke, can we start over ? I didn't mean to hurt you. I want to explain everything to you.I thought you knew. I would have done everything differently. Can we just start over ?
He knew the boy needed rest, but he couldn't stand waiting. "Luke," he called through the Force.
"Father," the boy answered, waking with a start.
His heart was glad for the small token of acknowledgement. "Son, come with me."
He felt the boy consider the offer, then waver, and finally, turn away. An image of Obi-Wan, the old man Obi-Wan, came drifting from Luke's mind.
He closed his mind to Luke, stung by the rejection. He turned from the window to face the interior of Executor's bridge, comforted only by the privacy afforded by his mask. He though of Padme', lying on the landing platform at Mustafar, how he never had the chance to get down on his knees and tell her how sorry he was.Never got to beg for her forgiveness, never got to feel the relief of that second chance. He thought of Han Solo, not knowing whether he was coming out of that pit alive, and still only able to say, "I know."
I will not be that coward.
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If he just stayed still, it wasn't so bad. If he didn't open his eyes, or move his legs, or bump that place where his hand used to be, he could lull himself into a false sleep, a plane of nonexistence. He tried to stay in that space between unconsciousness and awareness, to dull the pain by not thinking about it. But then he would drift towards real sleep, and it would feel like he was falling, and the sensation made him jump to catch himself.The muscle tension would light his arm on fire and his head would feel like it was being squeezed between the plates of a garbage compactor. Then the cycle would start over and he'd try again to stay absolutely motionless.
It was into this state of enforced nothingness that he heard his name, plain as day. It didn't make his head hurt like the sound of laser cannon hitting the ship, and it wasn't coming in through his ears, but it was in his head all the same. The impulse to respond was immediate, the feel natural, as if he'd said it all his life, though he'd never said it to anyone, ever.
"Father."
It didn't even hurt when he sat up, as though the voice in his head cleansed him of pain. Son, come with me, it said. A part of him wanted to do just that, to give in to the persuasive pull of the voice, to have a place to put his trust. He made himself ignore the voice.It would be wrong to follow it. He had promised he wouldn't fall. Even if he had been beaten, he would not give in. He thought of Ben, wondered why Ben would have lied to him.
Vader's presence withdrew from his mind. He didn't want to be alone if it decided to come back. He pulled himself out of the medical bunk and made his way to the bridge of the Falcon. He must look really bad, because the stranger who had rescued him from the weather vane took hold of his good arm, flashed him a look of concern. He nodded in acknowledgement, and stood near Leia, too wrung out to be of any use, but comforted by her company.
Through half open eyes he recognized the unending length of a Super Star Destroyer looming directly in front of the Falcon. As the freighter swooped by the flank of the Destroyer, his mind touched something familiar.
"It's Vader," he said aloud, although it was really to himself.
So, the communication ran both ways. Vader's mind welcomed his, and the voice was in his head once more.
Luke, it is your destiny, the voice said. And then the torrent began. It was one thing to sense another's feelings in the Force, but this was like being caught in a Tatooine sandstorm, with a wind so violent that it could pull you off your feet, the sand capable of flaying the skin from your body. It was messy and jumbled and intense. It was an image of himself, very small, nestled against black armor, it was a metal hand tousling his hair the way that Owen never had, it was standing on the bridge of a Star Destroyer, it was a conversation that required no words, it was striding side by side through a hangar full of fighters, the troops at crisp attention. And through it all was woven despair and anguish because none of these things had come to pass.He shut his eyes against the onslaught. The emotion was pure and undeniable, and it was for him.
"Ben, why didn't you tell me ?"
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He reached for Luke one more time. "Luke, it is your destiny."
He felt Luke recognize the contact, and then he sent him everything he had, every hope, every dream he ever had for them together as father and son. He sent the images, the feelings, he sent the pain, the despair, the pride, and his love. He sent it all. He felt Luke turn to Obi-Wan again, but this time he kept the link between them open.
Open, until it was ripped apart by the Millennium Falcon entering hyperspace.
He felt hollow, ravaged by the very destiny he tried to show Luke. Why was he fool enough to believe there was ever such a thing as a second chance ?
As he left the bridge, he met Piett's eyes, saw the anxiety in them as his faithful admiral wondered how much of his own life remained.
Don't worry Piett. The failure is not yours, it's mine.