After Cassiopeia Black's husband was sent to Azkaban, 'emotional train wreck' were the only words she could find to properly describe her state of mind. She simply couldn't believe that the man she had known and loved for so long could be a cruel, heartless murderer. And more so, she couldn't believe that he had laughed as they incarcerated him, as if the lives of his three friends and all the others meant absolutely nothing to him.
He had betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort, and it was only by a miracle that their son, Harry, survived. Sirius had also murdered Peter Pettigrew along with many other innocent people, but there had never been any forewarning that he had turned to serve the Dark Lord. There had been no change for the worse in his attitude, he still continued to serve the Order (he could have been a spy, though, she thought), and if he really was a Death Eater, why had she never seen his Dark Mark? The whole situation seemed completely surreal. At times she couldn't help but think that it all was just some terrible nightmare and that eventually she would wake up and everything would be back to the way it had been. But for weeks the image of Sirius on the night of the Potters' murders had been the real nightmare, the way he had left without a word and left her on their front step to cry over the deaths of their best friends replaying itself in her dreams night after night.
It was also extremely tiresome dealing with members of her family who constantly harped on her to 'divorce and drop the bastard's name,' and to 'find someone decent' to take his place. But she found that she didn't want to do either of those things. For reasons she couldn't express, she believed, opposed to dozens of muggle witnesses, that her husband was not a murderer, nor was he a Death Eater, and most definitely not a traitor to his friends. There must be unknown truths behind the known, truths that could change the whole sequence of events from upside-down and topsy-turvy to right-side up and correct. She hoped that one day she would find herself correct in her thinking, but for now there was nothing but confusion and heartbreak.
And then there were the members of the Ministry and of the press who hounded her almost nonstop for months. Numerous times Aurors from the Ministry had appeared at her doorstep with a search warrant which authorized them to go and rummage through Sirius' things looking for Dark objects. They had asked her not to disturb anything in the house until after their inspections were complete, which wound up taking three weeks. They had, of course, uncovered absolutely nothing. The Minister himself had visited her thrice, trying to comfort her while also interrogating her on her husband's involvement with Death Eaters. For his first two visits she had politely told him that she knew about nothing of the sort, but the third time, sick of him asking her questions that she could not answer dozens of times over, she finally lost her temper and ordered him to leave. He had surprisingly done what he was told without a word, looking fearful as she slammed the door behind him with an angry huff. Almost everyday a different reporter appeared at her doorstep or came tumbling out of her fireplace, most of them working for the Daily Prophet. But regardless of where they worked, they all wanted the same thing, an interview that would make her husband look like more of a monster than he was already thought to be, a tragic story of a maniac husband and a tortured wife. But she refused to entertain them for even a second, leaving them to throw questions such as Had Sirius been an abusive man, and Had he ever pressured you to join the Dark Lord also?, as she forcibly kicked them out of the house.
Eventually it came to the point where Cassie no longer wished to live in the house that she and Sirius had once shared. She didn't want to live where the Ministry and the press could find her and where there would be neighbors, both muggle and wizarding, that would lend her comforting words and evil glares that she didn't want or need. It took a while for the house to be sold, but when it was, Cassie was able to buy a quaint little home in the north of Scotland. It was one-story and relatively small, though more than enough for one person. It was separated from the surrounding woods and the nearby dirt road by a fence of high box hedges, and in the back there was a garden that Cassie kept magically stunning all year long. She had told only her closest friends, including the lycanthropic Remus Lupin, where they could find her should they ever want to visit.
She had lived there peacefully, returning to England sparingly to visit relatives and friends, and to do a fair amount of shopping. But she had not stepped foot on the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley until it came time for her godson's eleventh birthday, the age he would begin attending Hogwarts. It was Hagrid she saw first, towering over the bustling crowd, looking as cheerful as ever. But as he drew near to where she sat just outside Florean Fetescue's, she could see that Harry was jogging alongside him, trying desperately to keep up with his enormous strides. He looked so much like his father it was almost painful, but his brilliant emerald eyes were a beautiful credit to his mother. His legendary scar was veiled by his unruly hair that hung haphazardly over his forehead.
"Hagrid, so good to see you again," Cassie said, rising from her seat as they stopped to greet her.
"Cass', it's be'n such a lon' time." he sniffled, pulling her into a warm yet suffocating bear-hug. She took a deep breath as he released her and put a hand an Harry's shoulder. " This is Harry."
"Hello, Harry. I'm Cassiopeia…Rencher, and you have no idea how pleased I am to see you again." she said, thinking at the last moment that it would be best to use her maiden name. His godfather's story was better left for another day, perhaps even another year, when he was older. Had he somehow heard the name Black tied to a murderer before, she did not feel it proper to divulge any information to him just yet, especially the part about Sirius having supposedly betrayed his parents to the Dark Lord. The poor boy had enough to deal with as it was.
Cassie extended her hand for her godson to shake. His grip was oddly limp and she could plainly see confusion in his blazing green eyes as he looked curiously into her own dull brown ones.
" Pleased to me you," he said politely, "But, I can't say that I remember meeting you before."
Cassie smiled warmly, clearly remembering the last time that she saw him at his
his christening, wrapped in a blanket with his mother cradling him in her arms. " I wouldn't expect you to remember. You were barely a year old then. You see, Harry," she said, pausing awkwardly for a moment, "I'm your godmother."
Harry's eyes went wide at her words, his jaw falling open in disbelief. He looked briefly up at Hagrid as if to make sure the woman standing before him was indeed in her right mind to say such a thing. Hagrid gave a solemn nod, twirling his pink umbrella wand through his fingers. Harry turned back to Cassie and smiled, seeming at a loss for words.
Cassie gave a solitary laugh. Standing dumbfounded the way he was, Harry seemed too adorable for words. " Come on," she said, beckoning both he and Hagrid to follow her, "we have to get you prepared for school, don't we? We can talk while we walk."
As they proceeded, Harry stayed at his godmother's side while Hagrid remained close behind, taking in their conversation.
" If you're my godmother," Harry began, threading his fingers through his hair, allowing Cassie to see his scar for the first time which sent a ghostly chill down her spine, "then how come I didn't meet you sooner?"
" Well, I'm a witch, Harry. Now, you didn't know you were a wizard until a short time ago, right?" she paused, allowing him time to nod in agreement, "In order for you to meet me sooner, you would have had to be introduced to magic sooner, and none of us who care about you, including myself, and your soon-to-be Headmaster, and Hagrid, " she added at his snort, "thought that that would have been best for you, given your situation. But we've met now, haven't we?"
He gave a small grin and nodded. "You must have known my parents very well," he said, letting his grin fade and looking miserably down at his feet.
" I did. Your mother and I were the best of friends. I was pretty close to your father, too. And if you don't mind me saying it, you look everything like him, Harry."
He said nothing as they continued, seemingly unaware that most everyone who neared him was either gawking, or whispering or pointing, or doing a combination of all three. Cassie knew that it must have been difficult for him to absorb so much information all at once. In just one day he had learned that he was a wizard, that he would be attending a wizarding boarding school, how he had really received that scar on his forehead, and probably most importantly he learned that, even though she was not related to him by blood, he still had one living relative that cared about him and to whom he could look up to.
When they reached Olivander's wand shop, Cassie left the two to wait for their turn in line, only to return just as Harry received his wand, surprising him with a beautiful snowy owl that could accompany him to school. After their shopping was completely finished, Cassie, ignoring Hagrid's polite refusal, treated them both to dinner. The conversation that accompanied the meal mostly consisted of Harry recalling his life with the Dursley's at Cassie's request. But the tables were then turned and Harry began to question his godmother, asking her everything from what his parents where like to where she lived. She answered with complete honesty until, however, he reached the one question that she was silently hoping he would not think to ask.
" Out of curiosity," he said, pushing the remnants of his salad back and forth on his plate, " I wouldn't happen to have a godfather, would I?"
Cassie dropped her fork and looked up at Hagrid, who widened his eyes and looked away. "Well, yes, you do." she said nervously, noticing that Harry's eyes had lit up, " He's my husband….but I don't think you'll be seeing him for awhile, none of us will…But that story's for another day, Harry. Sorry."
He nodded, looking put down, but to Cassie's relief deciding not to push the subject. "Cassie?" he asked with a heavy sigh, prompting her to ask him what was troubling him. " If you're my godmother, than why was I left with the Dursleys? Shouldn't I be with you if my parents trusted you enough to make you my godmother?"
Cassie's heart dropped. After hearing his horrible stories about life with his aunt, uncle, and cousin, Cassie wanted nothing more then to be the one to take him home at the end of the day, to give him the loving home that he deserved and to try her best to fill the place Lily had once held in his life. But she knew if she wanted him to be truly safe while away from Hogwarts, that was impossible.
" I really wish you could be with me, Harry. But you can't. Should anything happen, you're safe while you're with the Dursleys. Your mother died to save you. She didn't have to die, but she did. For you. You're safe while you're in a house where your mother's bloodline dwells. That safety is something I can't give you."
Harry put down his fork and pushed away his plate, giving a nod that said he understood. When dinner was over, Cassie stayed behind as the two traveled back into the muggle world, but not before pulling Harry into a hug and promising him that she would be there to see him off on his first day of school, and be there for his return when the school year was over.
A/N: The next chapter soon...