Konoha Television

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Naruto.

--Being used as my entry to AnimeNuke's fanfic contest. -- Catkashi

Summary:

Everyone groaned when Tsunade announced that she was bored of Konoha's television shows. She told them at least fifty ideas that were not only stupid but were also dangerous! There would be no way that they'd take a part in any of those ideas… right? Kakashi and Gai wake up to the shock of their lives. A television crew would go around for one week watching them try to lead the other mans team!

Chapter One
BOREDOME

Tsunade sighed as she flipped through the channels. Ask That Ninja was a rerun, I love Ninjas was old, nothing new but crappy ninja-based cartoons for ninjas to watch… maybe they were all too into the ninja things? Then Tsunade had an idea. It was a crazy idea… it was a terrible crazy idea.
"Mwahahaha!" She laughed. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" As another idea came into her head she laughed more! And more as a lot more stupid ideas came into her head.

Kakashi the Copy Ninja was enjoying his book. He giggled slightly at the thought of his student's faces when he arrived… late again. But today he wasn't going to be able to enjoy himself while being late. No, Tsunade needed to talk to him. Anyone important would be there. When he got the message that he was to go to a meeting he felt depressed. And when Kakashi was depressed…he was late…more late than usual.

When they all had arrived for the meeting, Kakashi had held it up for half an hour, Tsunade opened it with the most bizarre statement they had ever heard from a Hokage.
"Television is too boring! We are going to fix it!" She said. "I have compiled a list of shows we can create right here in Konoha!" She pulled a stack of 1000 papers from under her desk. How had she kept it hidden? No one knew. She began reading the ideas one by one. The first was understandable. Having camera crews during the second stage of the Chuunin exams. The next was a bit odd. It was about a show where they showed how they made their weapons. It was understandable but why would anyone even want to know? So when she stated the third idea they all fell out of their chairs anime style.
"NINJA COOKOFF!" She shouted, like Naruto would. "TWO TEAMS FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THE INGREDIENTS TO MAKE A PIE!" Everyone stared at her with huge eyes.
"Are you okay Hokage-Sama?" Kurenai asked. "You seem a bit…"
"Insane?" Asked Kakashi helpfully. Tsunade ignored them and read the next idea. It was even worse.
"NINJA VIDEOGAMES!" She shouted, again like Naruto would when he got excited. "TWO NINJAS FIGHT TO THE DEATH OVER A VIDEOGAME!"
"Okay someone forgot to give her, her medicine!" Asuma said. They all looked around for Shizune, the Hokage's helper.
"Where is Shizune?" Asked Gai. "I cannot find her youthful face!"
"She has the week off!" Tsunade shouted happily.
"Oh god! SHE'S NOT ON MEDICATIONS! RUN!" Iruka shouted. They all began to jump up but found that Tsunade had glued them all to the chairs!
"Now my fifth idea is…" Tsunade began. "NINJA SURVIVOR!" Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"That doesn't sound too bad." Kakashi said.
"THREE NINJAS FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THE CHANCE TO EAT A CAKE!" Tsunade finished making them all do an anime fall again. Why they didn't run at that point is beyond me. But they sat back down in the chairs to get stuck again.
"What does that have to do with surviving?" Asked Anko.
"Uh… THEY MUST DO IT IN MY BACKYARD!" Tsunade shouted! The others looked at each other… they knew that there were over nine hundred ideas left. This was going to be a long meeting.

By the time Kakashi got to his students it was dark. They had been waiting since the morning!
"Yo." He said tiredly.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN KAKASHI SENSEI?" Shouted Sakura. "IT'S BEEN ALL DAY!"
"I was with the Hokage… she gave Shizune the week off and hasn't taken her medicine." Kakashi answered. "She wants to produce one thousand new programs that are all based around Ninjas killing and/or doing something stupid for a stupid prize." Naruto laughed.
"Granny Tsunade has gone insane!" He giggled.
"Just hope you don't get put in any of the shows…" Kakashi warned. "She wants to use real Konoha ninja for them."
"WHAT!"

Kakashi groaned. He felt weird. Then he realized he was tied to a pole. Gai was tied next to him. He looked around and realized that Tsunade was standing there laughing at him. He struggled to get free but failed.
"What is going on?" He demanded.
"We are preparing my first Television show!" Tsunade answered with a crazy grin. "You will be the leader of Gai's team for a week! MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"That doesn't sound too bad." Kakashi said. "Nothing like your other ideas."
"Maybe…" Tsunade said. She looked like a three year old who was planning on stealing a cookie. "But there will be CHALLENGES!" Kakashi groaned. He should have realized.
"Like?" He asked. He wondered if it was worth asking.
"Like PIE FIGHTS!" Tsunade answered with glee. "And of course… KILLING! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"You want our Genin members to kill each other?" Kakashi asked. He wondered if they made the right choice in picking a Hokage with a mental problem.
"Yeperdoodles!" Tsunade said. "Oh and while you do it you must dress like Gai! Including your hair!"
"My hair is not black." Kakashi said. "And I won't remove the mask."
"Ok the mask stays and you can wear this wig! I made it out of pasta!" Tsunade said while she put a wig on Kakashi, who groaned. Gai was still sleeping. He let out a snore and spoke in his sleep.
"SPRINGETIME OF LEE!" Both Tsunade and Kakashi looked at him like he was crazy.

The next day Gai who was dressed like Kakashi and wearing a gray-furred cat on his head greeted Naruto and the others.
"YOSH- I mean YO! MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!" He shouted.
"What's wrong with Kakashi?" Naruto asked Sakura. She proceeded to punch him into the nearest tree.
"That's not Kakashi-Sensei!" She said.
"That's right you baka!" Sasuke said. "That's Gai… dressed like Kakashi."
"NO WAY!" Gai shouted. "IT IS I! KAKASHI THE WORSE-THAN-GAI NINJA!"
Naruto smiled.
"That's good enough for me!"

Neji and his team were in for a surprise. When Gai didn't show up on time for their training.
"Where the heck is Gai-Sensei?" Asked Neji.
"I am worried! Maybe he lost his Springtime of Youth!" Rock Lee shouted.
"Yo…sh." Said Kakashi slowly. God this is embarrassing. He thought.
"WHERE IS GAI SENSEI YOU IMPOSTER?" Rock Lee shouted.
"…Nonsense…Lee…I am Gai!" Kakashi said. He didn't sound convincing and he knew it.
"NO YOU ARE NOT! GAI WOULD GIVE ME A GREETING HUG!" Lee said. Kakashi had a hard time resisting the urge to shudder.
"…uhhh…" Kakashi said. "…"
Neji activated his Byakugan and Tenten pulled out her scrolls. Rock Lee was cracking his knuckles and they all approached Kakashi slowly. Kakashi sweat dropped.
"Uhhh…." He said… This isn't going to end well…