New Beginnings

Chapter 18

Emma sat in her first period of the day, right next to Shawn. They were seated alphabetically, and since Shawn's last name started with -h and hers started with -g they were right next to each other. Emma wasn't talking or passing notes with Shawn, but she could see just by looking at him that his eyes were bloodshot and he was really upset. Everyone else just thought that he was tired from the trip, but Emma knew better.

Emma and Shawn's bedrooms faced each other, so Emma could see strait into Shawn's room. His light had been on all night. Emma could see him lying face down on his bed. At one point Emma got up and went to the window, but then Shawn looked over so Emma quickly turned.

After class Courtney came over to Emma. "Do you know what's wrong with Shawn?" she asked.

"No, I have no idea," Emma said. "He looks really bad."

"Ya, I know," Courtney replied. "So, do you wanna come over to my house after school and we can go swimming in my indoor pool?"

"Sure, I'll bring a bathing suit. Can I sleep over too? I don't feel like staying at my house tonight."

"Ya, sure. I'll invite the whole gang. When you go to your house to pick up your bathing suit pack an overnight bag."

"Okay," Emma replied. She knew that Courtney had said that she would invite the whole gang, but she thought that only meant, her, Courtney, Allie and Jenna.

When Emma got to Courtney's house, no one else was there yet. Emma decided to wait until everyone else got there to change. She went and got a snack and helped Courtney decide which bathing suit to wear. Suddenly something occurred to her. "Hey, Courtney, can I invite someone else?" she asked.

"Ya, sure, but make sure it's someone cool." Courtney replied.

"OK." Then Emma took out her phone. She went into her contacts and called Dave. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey Dave. Um, me and the gang are getting together at Courtney's and going swimming, and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be over in fifteen minutes."

"'Kay, I'll see you then." Emma hung up and called out to Courtney, "Dave's coming."

"Okay," Courtney called back. Just then the doorbell rang. It was Allie and Jenna, and after them Dave came. I told them I was going to Courtney's room to change. Dave said that he was going to use the guestroom to change, but he was quick so he came into Courtney's room while Emma was changing. Emma had just taken off her shirt to put her bikini top on, but she hadn't put her bikini top on yet. She saw Dave standing there.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," he said back. "So, you ready?"

"Not yet," She laughed and fell into his arms, which started a big make out session between them. They were in the middle of their kissing when Shawn walked by in the hall, going toward the bathroom. He stopped for a minute to look, but then continued walking. When he got to the bathroom he locked the door and sat down on the toilet seat, and started crying all over again.

Back in Courtney's room, Emma and Dave had finally stopped, and Emma had finished getting dressed. Dave sat on the bed waiting for her.

When they went down to the pool Emma saw Shawn.

"Oh my God," she muttered under her breath. "I'm going for a walk," she said.

"Do you want me to come?" Dave asked.

"No, I just want to be alone," she said.

She started walking towards the backyard, even though it was 35 degrees out. Unfortunately, she didn't see Shawn following her.

When she did finally see him, they were deep inside the bushes.

"What do you want?" she said.

"I want a second chance," he replied.

"I'm giving you a second chance just by standing here talking to you," she said.

"I want a second chance as your boyfriend," he said.

"Well that's not gonna happen so get over it," she snapped. Then she turned around and started walking again. She expected him to follow her, but he didn't. When she looked back he was sitting on a bench and his cheeks were streaked. Emma found another way out of the bushes and went to find Courtney.

"Two thing," she said. "First, is everyone sleeping over?''

"Ya," Courtney said. Emma felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She hadn't forgotten what had happened last time she had a sleepover at Courtney's house.

"And also, I'll be right back. I need to go grab something from my house that I forgot."

"'Kay."

When Emma came back she was carrying a bag, but no one could see what was in it. She went up to Courtney's room, but on the way she passed the guestroom. She saw Shawn sitting on the bed, staring into space, with a tear-streaked face.

She walked quickly past into Courtney's room. She took a little pink book out of the bag and a pen. She started writing.

I don't know what to do, she wrote. I still like Shawn, but I really like Dave. It's obvious that Shawn still likes me, and Dave does to. Maybe I should give Shawn another chance. But then I would have to cut Dave, and I don't want to do that. How did I get into this?

Then Emma sat there on the bed and started crying. She was there for about five minutes until she felt the weight of someone else sit down next to her. She looked up and saw Shawn. She started sobbing uncontrollably, and leaned into him, pushing her head into his arm. He hugged her and started stroking her hair. She looked back up at him, her face streaked with tears, and gently brushed her lips against his. He kissed her back, and she started crying again, still hugging him. Dave had come upstairs to look for Emma, but when he saw her with Shawn he went back downstairs and left.

"So," Shawn said. "What does this mean?"

"What does what mean?" Emma said.

"I dunno, this...us..." Shawn replied.

"I'm not sure," Emma said quietly. "What do you want it to mean?"

"I know what I want, but that's not what the question should be," Shawn said. "The question should be, what do you want."

"I don't know, I'm so confused and I don't know what to do," Emma replied and started silently sobbing again. Shawn pulled her into a tighter embrace.

"Take some time and think," he said. "Then let me know." He kissed the top of her head, got up off the bed and started waking away.

"No," she said fiercely. Shawn turned around and looked at her. "Stay," she said a little more gently. Shawn walked back over and sat down next to her. She leaned her head on her shoulder and whispered, "I know what I want it to mean. I want you." Then she gently kissed him, took his hand, and went back down to the pool. Just as they reached the bottom step they remembered that they weren't telling anyone about them, so they dropped each other's hands. Emma went looking for Dave so that she could break up with him, but Courtney told her that he had left. Emma figured that she would just tell him at school tomorrow. She walked into the pool and Shawn followed her.