Title: Nevertheless

Disclaimer: I do not own Jujutsu Kaisen

AN: Now here is the chapter where I bullshit how curse energy works with blood manipulation. Honestly, I think I got it right but at the same time I didn't. I tried my best lol. Also, there may not be an update next week due to midterms coming up but we shall see :(

Some unknown terms: Danna-sama = master, the lord.

Edit: I went back and changed a part towards the end of chapter one. It wasn't something big, but it was kind of contradicting things that I planned for the fanfic. I'm sorry. I usually plan things out before I start writing but things keep getting altered due to the high expectations I have of myself. But everything's been finalized now!

Chapter 2

I tried not to cringe as the attendant behind me tugged on a strand of my hair a bit too hard. She wove the small chunk of hair into the intricate bun and securely pinned it in place. With the number of pins stuck in my hair, I was afraid one small move could end with them launching out like missiles without a target. At the same time, another attendant in front of me skillfully tied the obi around the obiage as if she had done the procedure a billion times already. She then wrapped the final article of my kimono by tying the obijime around my abdomen to keep the obi from slipping.

The moment mother announced my father's request, the attendants behind her wasted no time preparing me for such an important meeting. I, on the other hand, stood still like a mannequin perturbed and absolutely petrified. What did he want from me? And why now? From the memories, he had never personally called for me and even after my accident he never once visited. These thoughts swirled inside of me endlessly as the attendants finished with the final touches on my hair and kimono.

If it wasn't already blatantly obvious, I did not want to go. I would much rather stay in this room for all eternity than have the little father and daughter reunion. Should I make a run for it? The window was wide open. But the thought of my mother's fate due to my absence made me flush that idea away pretty quickly.

Mother came back inside the room, worry permanently etched onto her features. Her previous disheveled state was gone as if it was never there. "It's time to go." Her voice was barely audible as she took my hand.

We silently walked out with the attendants lined orderly behind us. The warm breeze brought the floral aroma of the landscape with it and stray cherry blossom petals littered on the floor made me realize this was my first time out of my room. If it wasn't for my dire situation up ahead, I would've taken the time to explore my surroundings but it's a shame, isn't it? I don't think I'll ever have a pleasant stay here.

Though, that doesn't mean I didn't look around. The architecture was breathtaking, mirroring the traditional buildings of feudal Japan. The room I was staying in was only a small portion of a huge compound with many traditional looking houses lined within the stone walls that surrounded the area. At the center, there was a koi pond and a giant cherry blossom tree that swayed along with the gentle wind. A wooden bridge ran across the center, connecting this compound of houses to a second compound that nearly looked identical except it looked more extravagant.

We walked across a wooden bridge and there stood a stern looking elderly woman waiting for us.

"Please, follow me. Danna-sama is waiting." The elderly woman said while leading us up the stairs to the most ornamental building of all.

Before we entered, mother pulled me back and gripped my shoulders. "Everything will be okay. No matter what happens, I will always be at your side."

No matter what happens, I will always love you.

Why did it seem like she was saying goodbye? Like in case something horrible went down in there and she won't have a chance afterwards.

I clenched my sweaty hands, my legs felt strangely weak, and my stomach felt like that ticklish feeling we would all get before something nerve-wrecking happens. It was fear. I was afraid but why? I technically didn't know this man. He hadn't done anything to me specifically and yet the intense emotion was all I felt at the moment.

I nodded, trying to mask the fear from creeping into my face. I didn't want to worry her any further than she already was.

"Danna-sama, Lady Kamo and Lady Natsue have arrived." She announced to the closed shoji.

"They may enter." A smooth, baritone-like voice answered.

The shoji opened and there, my father sat at the center of the room. But he wasn't the only person present. At both sides of him sat three very elderly men and a woman. Judging by their clothing and seated position near my father, they must have high positions within the clan.

Right away, I noticed a jade-colored bowl on the chabudai in front of father and a cushion seat.

Mother bowed, "Yoshinori-sama." Then turned her attention to the old people and bowed again. "I greet you clan elders."

Ah yes, the clan elders. The people who use the excuse of 'tradition' to hinder a progressive future for the clan. The tradition of outdated ideals being forced into a world that no longer had a place for them. In this case, the tradition where blood ties and inheriting biological advantages were prioritized over familial bonds. Disgusting.

They barely even acknowledged her before their eyes fell upon me. I swallowed. Hard.

Mimicking mother, I bowed deeply to a ninety-degree angle. "Good evening, father. I greet the clan elders." I was totally winging it. I had no idea if any of this was correct but seeing how nobody was offended yet, I was doing good?

"Come sit." My father directed me to the empty seat in front of him with his eyes.

I forced my shaky legs to move forward, doing everything in my power to not trip in the process and sat. I kept my head lowered, not daring to meet his eyes.

"How have you been?" He asked. "I heard you had suffered from a small accident." His voice dripped with pseudo-concern. It seems like everyone in this household was skilled in hiding their true emotions. Skilled in lying.

"Yes father. I am alright." I somehow replied.

He hummed in relief as if he truly cared then finally asked a question I've been dying to know the answer to. "Do you know why you are here?"

"No, father." I flinched at the little quiver in my voice at the end of the sentence.

"Do not be afraid. I merely wish to confirm something from you." He stated nonchalantly. "A test to be exact."

Test...? It was after a closer look at the contents of the table did I realize there was also a needle next to the jade bowl.

My stomach lurched; heart skipped a beat. Blood manipulation. I wasn't even sure if I could use cursed energy but here I am being tested if I inherited the technique. I felt myself beginning to panic. This was a pivotal moment for not only me but for my mother as well. The fate of both of our lives depended on this test, depended on me. If I hadn't inherited the ability, I would be discarded for being useless to the clan. She would be discarded for being the mother of a useless child.

I desperately ran through my past memories, trying to find something, anything that could help in this situation. Let's see, blood manipulation it was… it was… the technique that allowed, allowed the user to control and —

I needed to calm down. This wasn't the first time I was in a pressured environment as I experienced moments that were a hundred times more daunting than this during my combat career. Calm down, I repeated to myself over and over again. Think.

So, blood manipulation was the technique that allowed the user to shape and control their blood beyond its natural form. But how? I don't think it was ever stated in the manga or the show. Maybe one had to channel their curse energy to mold and shape their own blood? Then, how was curse energy activated? Was there some kind of switch within my brain that I had to turn on? Fuck my fading memories.

"Do you trust me?"

Hell no. Not even if my life depended on it.

"Yes, father."

I watched through my lashes as he gave a curt nod at one of the clan elders, signaling to begin the test.

The old woman knelt beside me and took the thin but sharp needle from the table. She grabbed my wrist with an iron grip and roughly twisted it so the palm faced upward. Without any warning, she stabbed the needle into my index finger.

I yelped, wincing from the sudden prick. She didn't give me time to mentally prepare myself. What am I thinking? Of course she wouldn't let me mentally prepare; this is the Kamo family.

"Please!" Mother gasped. Please be gentle.

"Masae." Father warned.

Mother immediately shrunk, making her already small presence in the room invisible at this point.

The elderly woman squeezed my pricked finger, letting the blood drop and splatter into the bowl until she deemed it was enough. She cleaned my finger, applying pressure to help the blood coagulate faster and then bandaged my finger and went back to her seat.

"Now, the test is simple." My father explained, "you see your blood, yes? Without touching anything, move it."

And that was it.

Excuse me? There were no explanations on how, no specific directions, not even a lesson on curse energy. Just move it without touching it. If it was that easy, I would've done it the moment I found out I was a Kamo.

I sat there not knowing what to do, intently staring at the bowl of my blood and still filtering through my past memories. The silence was already uncomfortable from the beginning but now it was just unbearable and I could tell their patience was running thin. My back aches like I sat there for eons as a few more minutes painstakingly went by and that was all the confirmation my father needed.

"How disappointing." Father stated lowly, tension in every line of his intimidating frame. "You did not inherit the technique."

The tone of the room shifted dramatically. The air became thicker, harder to breathe, as if I was being suffocated. Their eyes scrutinized me, rejecting me, sneering among themselves and mumbling in agreement that I was worthless.

"We have seen enough." The old woman remarked as she stood to her feet. "I find it humiliating that the Lady of the Kamo family could not carry out her most important duty of securing a child with the inherited technique; a female at no less."

Self-control was a funny thing. It was a fixed resource because the part of the brain exerting control gets tired— it gets drained as it requires energy. So, the repression of anger needs careful thought. If it's boiling up, how will it be cooled? If it explodes, who bears the brunt? Who bears the consequences? My self-control is dangerously low right now.

Mother hung her head in shame while father paid no attention to the remark and made no attempt on defending his wife.

After a moment, she pulled herself together. Piece by piece, gathering herself with determination and raised her head. I could not look away, rather, I watched with awe. "Is it not too early for her to be tested? She is only six and in some cases the technique manife—"

"Do not interfere." Father's second warning was laced with potent amounts of venom.

"It was not my intention to interfere." She bravely pushed on. "But it seems that—"

"Must I remind you to know your place!" Father's voice rang around the room, making the porcelain vases that graced the shelves rattle.

Something inside me flared. It was seething, screaming deep within me to let it out, boiling perilously like a demon who was ready to unleash hell. All I felt was anger. How dare he. How dare all of them. Never in my past and current life had I felt so degraded, seeing someone being so harshly vulgarized. She was my mother. The fact that they never cared, the fact that we were mere disposable toys to them, so easily replaceable and as if we weren't human beings. I tried swallowing the burning rage, knowing the consequences of it. And yet, these fists clenched and my teeth grinded, anger threatening to burst from my mouth.

But all my anger bled out instantaneously with what he said next and was instead replaced with bewilderment.

"It seems I have spoken too soon, Natsue."

Momentarily forgetting the fear of meeting his eyes, I snapped my head upward and realized for the first time ever, he had called me by my name. He had properly acknowledged me.

When I still haven't realized what elicited such a response from him, he simply gazed into the bowl. I followed his gaze and my eyes widened, stupefied. Right before my blood scattered into a shapeless blob, it had temporarily collected into a lopsided circle in the middle as if the splattered mess just moments ago never happened.

Did— did I do that? I mean there was no way father or the clan elders would've helped me. Then when? And why couldn't I do it before I almost lost my temper?

"You have proven your birthright by demonstrating your competence for blood manipulation. It is a prized technique passed down from generation to generation within the family since the golden age of Jujutsu sorcery." He continued. "Starting from tomorrow, you shall receive proper education in math, science, history, basic calligraphy, and Japanese. As for blood manipulation and the fundamental concepts of jujutsu sorcery, I will personally train you three times a week in the evening with your first lesson also starting tomorrow. Your room shall be moved from the west side of the compound to the north, near my personal chambers." He glanced at the elders. "Are there any objections?"

The silence was so loud that you could hear a pin drop in the room. I could barely register anything he said as I was still in shock.

"Well then, I have great expectations from you, Natsue. Do not disappoint me."

"I understand… father." I responded hesitantly, not fully knowing what I was getting myself into.

"You are dismissed."

Relief crashed into me like waves against a shore as I stood up to my wobbly legs. They had become numb from staying at a prolonged position. Mother glided to where I was, relief also written in her features but was stopped midway.

"I wish to have a word with you, Masae."

She momentarily grimaced before quickly returning to her usual placid expression. "Of course, Yoshinori-sama." She turned towards me, "It is late now so Chitose will tuck you in for tonight."

I nodded and the attendant who was supposed to tuck me into bed ushered me outside. I briefly looked over my shoulder and saw the fury within my father's eyes as they glared at my mother. For the first time in a while, I felt helpless to defend someone that I loved and it was a shitty feeling.

That night, sleep was far from my mind as it was brimming with ceaseless thoughts of mother, tomorrow's lessons, and blood manipulation.

I had blood manipulation. It was finally sinking in on me that I can manipulate every physical property of my own blood. I didn't know whether I should be amazed or be grossed out. I mean, this was blood that we're talking about. Seeing excessive amounts of it being contorted in ways that's physically impossible should be freaking me out. It felt oddly surreal as someone who read and watched the technique, knowing that it was fiction, was now able to use it in reality.

I thrashed around in bed, body riddled with half anticipation and nervousness for tomorrow. Or was it mainly anxiety that I was feeling? Either way, I was actually looking forward to tomorrow's lessons, wanting to know more about this universe and how similar it is compared to my old world. What I wasn't looking forward to was my first blood manipulation training with father. Judging by how quickly he gets disappointed, I knew he wasn't the type to be easily satisfied. Which meant, training was going to be brutal. How brutal we shall see tomorrow but I'm hoping it won't be too much considering I was just six.

The slight creaking of the wooden floors near my door prompted my eyes to snap close, pretending to be asleep. (I mastered the art of pretend sleeping after being caught a few times in my previous life playing my Nintendo DS late into the night.) It was nearly two in the morning and if anyone were to find out I was still awake, I will be awakened tomorrow with mother's harsh scolding.

The shoji drifted open carefully with the person making sure they were producing the minimal amount of noise as possible and made their way towards my bed. The tips of their fingers gingerly brushed my bangs away from my forehead and I knew just by her fingers it was mother. She stroked my hair a few times and then gently kissed my forehead before silently leaving the room.

After making sure she left, I slowly opened my eyes and placed my fingers over the exact spot she left a kiss. I made myself a promise that night. I promised that one day I will become strong enough to free her. One day only laughter and joy will fill her days.

Boring. The classes were so so boring. I fiddled with my pink eraser with one hand while the other rested my chin on and all the while tried to keep myself from looking at the clock every minute. My science teacher was explaining the different states of matter and how they change after a short lesson on their properties. I stopped listening for a while now, only actively paying attention whenever he stopped to ask me a question. Come on now, these were the three states of matter and with my adult mind, I didn't need to hear this all over again. That was the reason why I was bored out of my mind all day. The lessons were basically the first-grade curriculum and ya girl already learned that during elementary school. I sat in each lesson, repeating to myself that 'I was a six year old, act like one' every single time the teachers would ask me something. I had to purposefully answer some of them wrong knowing that getting them all correct will arouse even more unwanted attention. And we definitely don't want that right now.

While father assigned himself to teach me blood manipulation, each of my lessons were taught by different teachers. Math was taught by Kamisaka Fuyuko, Haitani Kenjiro for my calligraphy and Japanese, Nakajima Kanami for History and Moto Hirosama for science. I was woken up at nine and oh joy, math first thing in the morning. Calligraphy wasn't too bad except my kanji looked like ink poop blotches if you angled the paper in a certain way and as for Japanese it was a working progress. (Again, I was grateful for those short lessons with mother.) Actually, if I think about it, history was the only class that I found the least boring. Don't get me wrong, I was not a history buff but the second part of today's lesson caught my attention as it was about the Kamo family history.

I'm assuming that when I'm at a certain age, I'll learn the entirety of my family's history in detail but for now, all of the information was simplified. Everything about the family such as individual lineages, birth and death dates, important locations, and positions within the clan were all extensively recorded down in a family tree book. Let me just tell you, I have a lot of family members. The pages were filled with uncles, aunts, cousins that I have never met before. And guess who's the current clan head from all those people. Yup, my father Yoshinori Kamo and I wasn't even surprised. It was more like a 'yeah, I saw that coming' kind of reaction. Which confirms one of my theories a while back; I am the stain of my family for being a girl. The first born, the heir was a female and we can't have that in this clan. Which also means I will be the older half-sister to a brother in the coming future. From the clan elders' attitude from yesterday, they've probably been trying to successfully secure a male heir the moment I was born.

There was a small voice at the back of my mind always asking about my fate when the time comes. What will happen to me then? When Noritoshi is brought into the family at the age of six, will they discard me? Throw me away as I was no longer useful to the family? Surely not as I too had inherited the precious technique they all obsessed over. I have no doubt in mind that my survival was due to the grace of being born with this inherited technique. But I knew that there was still the possibility and I needed a plan before that day arrived.

Another surprising fact about my lineage is mother's family. Before the history lesson, I thought mother was a civilian who didn't know what she got herself into when she married father. However, that was not the case. My mother was also from a sorcery family, a minor one. In the book, her maiden name was Aida Masae from the Aida clan, home province of Nara in the Kansai prefecture of Japan. What her clan was known for sorcery wise, I have no idea. Were the Aida clan even briefly mentioned in the series? I knew there were minor sorcery families other than the big three like the Inumaki but still, I don't think I heard about them. I made a mental note to research more about her clan later.

Towards the end of the lesson, the other two big sorcery clans, the Gojo and Zenin families were mentioned for the first time since I arrived. The teacher simply stated that the three clans were descendants of the Big Three Vengeful spirits, who were powerful sorcerers of the Heian era. Due to this and the powerful cursed techniques passed down through the clans, they have gained great political influence in Jujutsu society. Of course, I knew more but again, I'm a six year old. I'm not supposed to know more than the already given information.

When the sky began to color with a mix of orange and purple and the compound was brightly lit with lanterns, I was escorted to my father's office. I was still confused with the layout of the clan compound as it was vast and with many sections. Without the attendants leading me where to go, I'll probably get lost a thousand times.

I would be lying to myself, if I said I wasn't on edge the entire way there. The short encounter I had yesterday was nearly suffocating, imagine how a whole lesson would feel. I climbed the final stair to my father's office and the same stern-looking lady waited outside his door. She announced my arrival and with his permission, I entered.

"Good evening, father." I bowed.

The same intimidating nature radiated off from him. "Sit. You have much to learn today."

I obeyed, scurrying across the room and taking the same seat from yesterday. On the table in front of us was a white tray, a different color bowl and — oh god a needle. I seriously prayed that every lesson didn't consist of me pricking my finger but the needle on the table taunted me, telling me otherwise.

"The skill you demonstrated yesterday, although fleeting, was blood manipulation." He started off. "It is a curse technique where every aspect of the user's blood, including the plasma, composition, and the red blood cells can be manipulated. Whether it be internal or external blood, as long as it belongs to the user it can be utilized." He continued. "And like all cursed techniques, it requires the use of cursed energy. You must learn how to precisely control it and use it to the maximum efficiency."

I inwardly snorted, what a perfect technique for the people who obsess over bloodlines.

He went on to explain that curse energy originated from negative emotions such as anger or grief and proper control of those emotions is key to channeling it. This is so that one doesn't waste their supply of energy even when they are overcome with emotion. The flow of curse energy is also an important factor as unlike non-sorcerers whose energy leaks outward, in sorcerers the energy is contained within. In my case, the curse energy channeling within my body is already imbued in my blood to activate the blood manipulation technique. This reminded me of Gojo's comparison of it to electricity. Sorcerers power their own unique abilities in the same way electricity flows to 'fuel' electronics.

It all made sense now. I was able to shape my blood yesterday because I couldn't control my emotions, my anger. That flaring sensation, coiling, circulating within my body was curse energy and I unconsciously 'powered' it which responded through my blood, thus able to briefly control it. In order to develop my skills, I had to train rigorously to control my emotions and curse energy at the same time.

That was how Noritoshi during the Goodwill Event Arc, controlled the trajectory of his arrows. They were dipped in his blood beforehand and after firing them off, the light bluish black flames glowing at the tip of the arrows were refined curse energy in his blood.

Honestly, this was a lot of information for a child to take in and understand but I guess the children in this universe matured faster than children of my old world. It's also worth mentioning my family is the Kamo clan, where children were treated like pedigreed animals to the point of tormenting the 'useless' ones and buying the valuable. As such, training from an early age was expected.

"As of now, your body has not matured yet. Therefore, you are unable to produce the adequate amount of blood needed to practice the technique in huge quantities." Father picked up the needle from the table. "You will start small and work your way up until you have complete control over your curse energy. Then, you will be taught the specific attacks of the blood manipulation. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I nodded.

He held out a hand, silently asking for mine to prick out my blood. This was one of the drawbacks of blood manipulation as blood is a finite resource and if you're not careful, too much loss of it obviously leads to death. I extended my right hand out, the one that wasn't stabbed already and mentally prepared myself this time. I flinched as he punctured my index finger and blood began oozing out. He let my blood drop into the bowl until the bottom wasn't visible anymore and gave me time to clean my intentional, small wound.

Once I was done applying the bandage, he picked up a calligraphy brush and drew a circle, the size of a tangerine on the white tray. We waited for the ink to dry and he poured my blood at the center of the circle. The blood splayed out into a formless shape.

"Today, you must keep your blood within the ink circle by controlling the cursed energy imbued into it. If blood begins to trickle outside the circle, you are not using enough curse energy. It is a simple exercise so I expect you to master it immediately."

Simple my ass. I didn't even know I had the technique until yesterday. What makes him think I can master it so easily? I wasn't a Mary Sue although, thinking about my future, I wish I was.

I took a deep breath and focused on finding the same flaring sensation I felt yesterday. It was faint at first, lightly pulsating throughout my body and grew stronger as I sensed for it more. There's not really a way to describe how it felt. It was kind of like a second set of veins solely there to transport— I don't know, coffee(?) throughout your body. It was soothing, warm and at the same time revitalizing.

And finally…it clicked. My blood pumping steadily throughout my body, the rush of red blood cells, the plasma that carried salts, enzymes, and down to the tiniest composition of platelets. Everything was clear as day. It was overwhelming, overstimulating to see and know so much in a small amount of time.

For the first few minutes, nothing happened. I tried over and over again; my anxiety fueled by father's impatient stare.

"You are not using enough." His fingers tapped impatiently on the table. "If there is not enough curse energy applied, it will not correspond accordingly with your blood, resulting in weak movements."

Taking his words into account, my eyebrows scrunched as I tried increasing the flow of curse energy. This time the blood trembled, jerking in all directions as if invisible strings were pulling it and to an extent it was like that. It was like I was pulling the strings attached to the blood, manipulating it like a puppet to do my bidding. It was interesting, seeing the blood on the tray begin to mold slowly within the confines of the circle. There were moments where the blood broke from my grasp multiple times but steadily, it tugged into a lumpy oval. Coming from a world that had no curse energy, I thought I was doing pretty well. Here's the aggravating part though, whenever I tried to increase my curse energy just a tad to enclose the blood within the ink circle, it would shake violently and release back into a blob. I felt my frustration welling up within me and I struggled to control my emotions. I took several deep breaths and tried again.

"You are using an excessive amount."

Great. Now I was using too much. I could see why training to control curse energy was so demanding. There had to be a perfect balance as it was volatile in nature. Too little results in no response, but too much causes it to explode from the excess amount of it.

Beads of sweats began forming on my forehead and my head strained with an oncoming migraine. A second of broken concentration causes the blood to lose all of its progress and every part of my mind was begging me to stop. I ignored, pushing on. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but at one point, the world started to spin and my vision became blurry. I was at my limit.

"Stop."

I let everything go at once and the rush of the world becoming lighter, less repressed felt amazing.

"Your curse energy control is beyond inadequate from my initial standards." He sneered with irritation. "Without a solid foundation, we cannot move on."

I clenched the hem of my kimono, the sting of disappointing a parent setting in on me.

"Your next lesson will not occur until you have mastered controlling your curse energy. I do not wish to waste my time on the rest of this week's lessons on something that is supposed to be effortless." He stood up, walking towards the windows. "You are dismissed."

Effortless? Um may I remind you, today was the first day. I swallowed my objections and bowed. "Yes father."

I dragged my exhausted body down the stairs, not knowing how I was going to do this everyday. I might be thinking this way because I was so tired, but I felt like this life was worse than my previous one. Screw being reincarnated into an anime. What was the point if your life was basically a prison? Instead of escorting me back to my room, the attendants went straight ahead, ignoring the turn we were supposed to do. Oh, yeah. My room was relocated to the northern side, closer to my father.

The shoji to my new room opened and to my surprise, mother was sitting near the window with tea and sweets scattered across the table. I felt my eyes water but I quickly blink them away and a smile stretched across my lips.

"It's late, but a little bit of sweets can't be too harmful, yes?" She gestured for me to sit. "I made your favorite, wagashi."

Maybe this life wasn't too bad.

"Can I have the strawberry flavored one?"

"Of course."