Title: Nevertheless

Disclaimer: I do not own Jujutsu Kaisen.

AN: Hey guys, I'm finally back. The amount of blood research that went into this chapter...oof.

CampPillow- Thanks for reviewing! Yes, she will change the plot of the story. How can she not, when knowing some major points of the plot?

Unknown terms: Engawa- an edging strip of non-tatami-matted flooring in Japanese architecture, like a mini veranda. Te-asobi- hand games like chop sticks. Furoshiki- traditional Japanese wrapping cloths used to wrap and transport goods.

Chapter 3

'Time flies over us, but leaves a shadow behind.' A quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne in his book, The Marble Faun, I read in my previous life. I found it odd that I kept thinking about this quote as the years went by. Why did I find this one line profound, when it was seen as trite by the narrator in the context of the book? Maybe it was because my experiences over the past years left a type of trail behind in my mind, filling it with both fond or grim memories and it changed me mentally and physically.

Suffice to say the past decade of my life was uneventful which was surprising considering who my family was. Well, except for a few instances.

It took me almost four weeks to precisely learn how to control my curse energy and by the time I resumed lessons with my father, he simply berated me for taking that long. I, on the other hand, was rather proud of myself and expected at least a small praise from him. Looking back now, I don't know why I had expectations (even if it was a very small amount) for the man. Regardless, I had mother and Chitose, her attendant to fill the missing void. I spent many days in my room, training, learning where my limit was and trying to overcome it trial after trial. This was gross to admit but due to the fact that I hated piercing my fingers each time I needed blood, I would at times keep practicing with the same blood for days until it became worn out. And blood is not supposed to be kept for long periods without proper maintenance. It would curdle at first, thickening until it was actually kind of difficult to mold with curse energy and then it'll start rotting. Again, it's disgusting. I know. I'm sorry.

During the small periods of free time I had, I would tour around the compound with Chitose, memorizing and mapping important places that would become useful for me later on. Places such as the library, one of my key factors to survive in this world as it was the basis for education. The Kamo estate had three libraries: the western, eastern and the main library. The main library was my true target. It consisted of important books such as the one mother brought with her that one night of my reincarnation discovery. Books about Jujutsu sorcery. At first, father taught me both blood manipulation and the basic concepts of jujutsu but he rescinded that statement after a few weeks. He instead assigned an uncle, uncle Hisatoshi, who I never met before to teach me the concepts and terminologies of sorcery. I hated every moment of those lessons. It was made clear from the first day that he had no experience in teaching and no patience with the way he would gloss over many essential subjects or present very vague information. That was why I turned to the libraries.

If I wanted to bring any change within this story, I needed to learn, to expand my knowledge of this universe. I had to work hard now, understand as much as I can and form important relationships later on because I couldn't bring the changes myself. I had to become strong.

I begged Chitose to stop by the library for a little while, pretending to be interested in the small section of children's books when in reality I was looking for works on sorcery. Whenever she was distracted, I would quickly stuff a book under my kimono, bringing it back to my room to read during the night. There were a thousand books just in the main library, I doubt anyone would notice books missing if I borrowed one at a time.

One of those days, I stumbled across a family history book that had more details about mother's clan and there really isn't much about them. The Aida clan originated from the area now known as the Nara prefecture and were famed for their poison jujutsu. It's said that before their victims ever realized they were poisoned, it was too late. The reason for their obscurity was not because they were a minor clan but a dying one. In order to stay alive, the clan took desperate measures and eventually the clan head decided to marry off one of his daughters to a much more prosperous clan. The prosperous clan was the Kamo family and the unfortunate daughter was my mother. It was likely that my mother was the most acceptable, not the most suitable candidate due to her family's neutrality throughout history. They had no influence or ties with the Zenin or Gojo families and so, they were a perfect clan to bring under control.

After my seventh birthday, I began to learn the special attacks of Blood Manipulation with the first one being Convergence. It was the precursor for the extension techniques such as Piercing Blood and Supernova so it was a rudimentary step to learn. But there was a problem. I did not have sufficient blood to train for it and if overdrawn, I would obviously die. As a seven year old, my body didn't produce enough to draw one of those pint bags that you see in blood drives and Convergence required at least a pint to effectively use.

So, how did they solve this problem? They correlated blood draws with weight. Under the age of fourteen, it's dangerous to draw blood in voluminous and unregulated amounts as the body cannot recover from the abrupt loss. They had a fixed schedule and a detailed record of the amount drawn in every session to keep track. For me, I was about fifty-two pounds at my first session and based on that weight, they drew a maximum of twenty milliliters then waited three weeks to repeat. This is to reduce risks of anemia or other blood related abnormalities. Can you imagine a Kamo with anemia? Ha. How ironic. Anyways, they next properly store your blood, accumulating it to a pint as each session occurs. Gradually as I age, the amount of blood drawn will increase to a pint and the number of sessions decreases. Blood also clots when it comes out of the blood vessel and to counter that, anticoagulants such as Heparin, Citrate, and Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid (or EDTA) are added while collecting. You won't believe how long it took me to read and understand all of this during my study days. I'm so glad I joined the military not med school in my previous life.

In terms of how Convergence felt, it was just powering curse energy into a palm full of blood, compressing and condensing it until it reaches its limit, a blood sphere. If skilled enough, more than one Convergence spheres can be manifested at one time. Honestly, the process wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be however, the only drawback is that it takes time to flow curse energy into the blood, making me vulnerable against rapid attacks. I suppose I'll get faster over time with practice but even then, it'll require some time to apply.

Between eight and nine years old, I was taught two more blood manipulation attacks; the Piercing Blood, building off from Convergence and Crimson Binding. I remember when I first tried to practice Piercing Blood and ended up with a broken butt. My god— the speed at which it launched from my fingertips swept me under my feet and before I could even react, my butt collided with the ground hard. Due to that tremendous speed and velocity, it was difficult to aim at first. They say that blood manipulation's efficiency and strength depended on the user and judging by the gaping hole I caused on the concrete wall, my blood manipulation was not to be underestimated. Don't think Crimson Binding was any easier. The attack required awfully precise curse energy control to transform the shape of my blood into a net and based on the size of the target, I had to stretch my blood to accommodate the size.

It was when I turned ten, a major event occurred in my life. The birth of Noritoshi Kamo, my younger half-brother. I'm willing to bet my father had over twenty mistresses or as the clan elders called them, concubines and over thirty half-siblings I never knew about. The news about his birth spread like wildfire within the clan and no one was spared from the rumors that surrounded it. They say that he might be the potential heir of the clan if mother could not conceive a male child with blood manipulation. I mean they're not wrong since we're clearly still going by the original plot. Though, pointless rumors such as how the mistress bewitched father with some sort of sorcery also circulated due to her looks being mediocre compared to mother's. These people must be bored out of their minds. The clan elders were relieved, hopeful that Noritoshi will be the perfect heir that they've been obsessing over since forever. From what I heard, preparations for his own test will undergo when he turns six as most techniques manifest at that age. Either mother conceives by then or he will become the heir. It was a race against time that everyone was anticipating.

Eleven was the age where I first came face to face with a cursed spirit and it was traumatizing. When you're watching a cursed spirit through your screen, it's not terrifying. It might look creepy, but not frightening because you know it's not real. Now, compare that to staring at one that's about a hundred feet away from you. The mental fortitude of jujutsu sorcerers was amazing. The fact that they can fight and exorcise no— even come close to one was unbelievable to me. The fear I felt took everything within me to not to run away from it. The medium sized spirit was some sort of a pig monster that had six legs, a deformed head and crawled on the floor like a bug, oinking gruffly as it went. According to father, it was a grade four ranked curse spirit, meaning I could exorcise it. He locked me inside a training room with it, telling me that I could only come out if I exorcised it. I remember banging at the door scared shitless and begging father to let me out. In time, I somehow did, using only long ranged attacks like piercing blood but it was horrifying and when mother visited me that evening, I didn't say anything. I didn't want to relive the experience again.

I would be constantly locked inside the training room with a curse spirit, desensitizing me to the point it became a normal part of my life.

Eleven was also the age where I was told about the accident that occurred before I reincarnated and it wasn't something big like I originally thought. I fell from a bridge and 'almost' drowned in the koi pond below. But then, I woke up with a start one night, gasping for air, thinking about the possibility that the real Natsue had died by drowning. It was an eerie feeling, deep inside me and I was disturbed at how fast I had accepted this fact. The small body of water was deceiving as I thought it was shallow when I first crossed it to meet father five years ago. I refused to go near it for days.

The last four years of my youth were filled with training and it was hell, ending them bruised, exhausted, and incredibly sore. I was also trained from an early age in martial arts, such as judo, karate, and aikido with kendo and kyudo later being added onto my list. It was rigorous but I didn't mind as I knew that my adult mind combined with my military background were the catalyst to my swift understanding.

The summer after I turned fifteen, my life took a turn for the worse. It was the year 2005 and the events of the canon parts of the story grew closer and closer, screaming at my very existence, asking me what I was going to do. And I really don't have the answer to that. I mean, whatever happens, happens, I guess. I don't even know if I'm going to even interact with the main casts of the series as I lived in Kyoto. If I was enrolled, I'll attend the sister school of Jujutsu High. That was a big if.

I swiveled around its sharp claws, narrowly avoiding a gash to my face. The grade two cursed spirit howled in frustration, believing that it had gotten me this time. This spirit was the ugliest one I've seen so far, possessing a humanoid like flesh and form but fused with a spider; it was like a fleshy spider. The mouth took the largest portion, stretching from one side of the head to the other and the eyes were vertically slitted, making it look like it had none. Its speed was tremendous, catching me off guard the first five minutes as it relied on its four hind-legs and two midsection legs to give it the momentum to charge at me. I barely escaped its clutches multiple times, jumping around the room like a frog. The worst part is, it sporadically spits out melting acid and webs from its ass.

I activated Flowing Red Scale to match with its speed. Immediately, I felt the rise of my body temperature, pulse rate, and felt warm blood spread around my right eye. The movements of the fleshy spider seemed to slow down but in reality, I had become swifter and in a blink of an eye, I was standing right behind it. Realizing I was no longer in front of its sights, it frantically searched and the minute its nonexistent eyes finally landed on mine, I was ready. My cursed-energy-channeled fist landed on the middle of its face, around the eyes with a loud 'wham' noise and the spirit flew across the room, screeching. Blinded by my punch, I quickly threw a pint bag up in the air and blood exploded, responding to my curse energy. I straightened my arms and clapped my hands together, compressing the blood in between them. Making sure the fleshy spider was still in line within my target, I fired. Piercing Blood.The blood shot out of my fingers, penetrating the spider at the center of its body.

The blood curdling scream it produced grew louder as the cavernous hole I caused in the mid-section profusely bled purple. I kept my hands together, ready to launch another strike in case it would heal itself but to my relief it didn't. The legs of the cursed spirit twitched a few times before finally succumbing to its lethal injuries.

Every three or four times a week, I exorcised or sparred captured cursed spirits in order to hone my skills and today was one of those days. I was cleaning myself from the purple residue when Chitose told me that my father wanted to see me shortly.

What did he want now? I inwardly groaned before following Chitose to his office. The number of times he had personally asked for me outside of my lessons were rare. It was becoming increasingly obvious that father and the clan elders were showing favorability to Noritoshi as the boy grew. There were even talks of bringing him early into the clan, even though they weren't a hundred percent certain that he inherited the technique. That was how confident they were. As a result, their attention to me gradually declined, with the training occurring once every several weeks at a time and uncle Hisatoshi quit the lessons altogether. The latter didn't matter to me as much since I was teaching myself all of the concepts anyways but my stagnant blood manipulation lessons were irritating me. I developed my own obsession of becoming strong over the years, berating myself if I hadn't seen any progress and thus took matters into my own hands. Whenever I brought it up, my concerns were merely dismissed and these days the volume of misogynistic statements from the elders increased.

Like always, he wasted no time in drawing things out. "You will not be continuing your lessons."

I felt my resolve shatter at those words. "E-excuse me?"

"You know I do not like to repeat myself, Natsue." He calmly stated after taking a sip of his tea. "You will stop training."

I stared at him, in complete disbelief. Why? Why after eight years was he abruptly stopping? All those years of extensive training just to not continue. All those years crumbled away, wasted by a single sentence.

"I… don't understand. May I ask why?"

"Your value lies elsewhere." He drawled.

"Elsewhere?" I almost spat, perplexed and rage built up within me.

He swirled his tea cup around nonchalantly, his eyes full of boredom. "Rather than becoming a sorcerer, it has been decided that you will be more beneficial to the clan by forming key alliances through marriage."

I felt my mouth go dry. My mind could not— would not comprehend. Marriage. At the age of fifteen, my future has already been decided. I knew way beforehand that to my father, I was just a pawn in a chess game in order to pursue his own personal interests but still. Is this how mother felt when she was betrothed to father?

"Father I—"

"I do not want to hear excuses." He interrupted. "Serving as wives, bearing and raising children is the women's virtue. And you will learn to uphold those marital duties. A day from now, your current lessons will be replaced with sewing, embroidery, and proper lady etiquette."

I mentally scoffed. What was this? The seventeenth, eighteenth century? Up until recently, they were fine with me learning the blood manipulation, and as long as I did not covet for the clan head, they seemed fine with me becoming a sorcerer. Hell, just last year I overheard mother talking about how the elders might send me to Jujutsu High once I turned fifteen.

"Then why did you train me all these years?" I demanded, "why put all this effort on me if it was all going to waste?"

"Because I was not certain if another child with the inherited technique would be born. But now, there is a possibility that a male could have the technique."

I was a spare. In case for the worst, they still had me as the last resort.

"And how can you be so certain?" I asked, fully aware that Noritoshi did inherit it. "Most cursed techniques manifest around the age of six. Even I was tested at that age."

"There is a possibility." He said adamantly.

I studied his face for a minute, trying to decipher why he was so insistent. My father wasn't me; he had no prior knowledge of the future. He was so confident for what? Unless…

My eyes widen with realization. "You already tested him." I accused under my breath.

No wonder he was so fucking confident. My father was a cautious, calculating man and unless he knew for sure, he would not proceed. In the canon, it was said that Noritoshi was brought into the family as heir at the age of six but the boy turned five a few days ago. Maybe he was tested earlier in the original story too as it was never stated when. Why keep it a secret then? Were they still waiting to see if mother would conceive? The thought was possible since at the end of the day, mother was still the rightful wife and her child, if male, will outrank Noritoshi. The real question was how did he already show signs of blood manipulation? In the books I read, techniques such as inherited or innate usually manifested at six.

I decided to visit him some time later.

His cold, detached eyes displayed a bit of humor in them. "The elders nor I could wait. We visited him recently and examined him ourselves."

I clenched the hem of my kimono. "I cannot accept this as my future."

There was an edge of displeasure in his tone. "Are you disobeying me, Natsue?"

"And what if I am?"

"How arrogant. We both know you are not impudent enough to challenge me. You think you are grown enough to defy my words but that very defiance will lead to your disgrace. So, I suggest you remove that pseudo mask of courage you are donning and show your true self; an insecure and dependent child. Let this be a warning."

He expected an immediate response, one of me recoiling in fear or flinching from the thunderous wrath in his voice.

I took a second to gather myself, piecing together my shattered resolve moments prior. I straightened my posture, clasping my hands together on my lap, and raised my head high, mirroring mother all those years ago.

"Father."

He conscientiously watched me, noticing the change in my demeanor and his eyes reflected a hint of curiosity.

"I know. I know I am still young and have much to learn whether as a lady or even as a person. I am not so presumptuous to declare that I am an adult that has much experience in life but I ask of you for one thing. I ask you…" I paused, "do not take me as naïve."

I made sure my gaze did not falter from his.

"I am not naïve nor ignorant enough to blindly follow your commands like a marionette that has no conscious thoughts. Perhaps a fool that tends to let sentimentality and emotions control me at times but I am not so far gone that I would foolishly follow your every word without defiance. For I no longer fear you as I did before. I am fifteen now, no longer that child who used to cower at your sight, who let you decide what's best for me."

I closed my eyes, recalling the cruel ways he treated my mother and I. Recalling the way he would 'discipline' me using fear, isolation, and loneliness to keep me from defying him. I was done. I was done with his bullshit.

"Perhaps we do share a common trait, father. I too, do not like to repeat myself. So please listen well. I will attend Jujutsu High and I will become a sorcerer. No matter what it takes and you do not get to decide who or what I become in my life." I stood up to my feet and bowed, "thank you for listening. I trust that you would take it into consideration."

Without being dismissed first, I left the room.

I fiddled with the strawberry shaped wagashi on the plate, distracted by the conversation I had with father earlier.

"Natsue, is everything alright? You haven't eaten the wagashi on your plate and they would've been gone by now." She said teasingly. Her attempt at cheering me up I suppose.

I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to confess the entire conversation I had with father. But she was my mother and I could never keep a secret from her.

"Father announced that I will no longer pursue a career in sorcery."

Mother remained silent, not meeting my eyes for a moment and then tears. "It's my fault."

I abruptly ran over to where she sat, my hands hovering over her tear-stained cheeks. I— I didn't know how to react. It was— she— it was alien to see tears on mother's eyes as she was a strong woman who hated vulnerability. She was skilled in controlling her emotions, keeping them hidden in ways that I could never and to see her break down like this made me realize that she too was at her breaking point.

"If only I was strong enough, if only I was resolute enough, maybe just maybe you wouldn't be suffering like this. All those years you suffered such atrocious treatments from him and all I could do was watch it all." She gasped for air. "I hate myself so much. For saying all of this in front of you… I hate myself so so much."

She gave me a weary smile through her tears. "I'm sorry for being this kind of mother. A mother who stands by and does nothing as her child hurts. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." My own eyes started to sting and throat began to constrict.

"When your father also informed me of his plans for you the other day, I tried convincing him to let you be." Her voice trembled. "To let you choose your own fate. You do not deserve a future like mine."

Like her. I stayed silent, handing her my handkerchief. I read about her past. I don't need to ask for more but if she decides to tell then I will listen.

And I did just that. I listened.

"I was the youngest of five children, growing up the most sheltered and only believing that nothing in my peaceful life could change." She began after composing herself. "But it was the spring that I turned seventeen did I fully realized the dire situation my clan was in. Unlike the three great sorcerer families, the Aida were not as affluent or politically prominent in jujutsu society. We were becoming a figment of time, dwindling in numbers. Combined with the financial burdens and potential threats from other sorcerer families around us, my father had to consider a difficult decision. And I knew that final decision would plague him for the rest of his life."

The emotional pain seeped out of her words and it hurt to hear them, hurt to read them.

"The sacrificial lamb of the family. The one that'll bring change, they said. But at what costs? It wasn't… fair. And I believed I was thinking selfishly, reasoning with myself that I will bring prosperity back into my clan with this marriage." She continued, "without a chance to defend my own life, I was taken at nineteen to marry a man that I never met before and was demanded to produce an heir with a man I did not love. I was scorned for years leading up to your birth." She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "you were not desired by the clan, but very much dear to me. That is why I ask you, Natsue, be greedier for your future. Do not let others determine your fate. It belongs to you and only you."

Her words were engraved in my mind. "I will." I leaned on her shoulder, new found determination and ambition fueling within me.

But the thought of Noritoshi lingered at the back of my mind, thinking about his future in the canon series. The pressure given to him at a young age will cause him to embody all of their distorted values and often not think for himself. Forced to take responsibility for a clan that openly disdained his mother, he had to make a choice.

"The son of father's concubine…" I grimaced at the word concubine. "I wish he could be spared from the burden."

I might be bringing up a touchy topic but I was curious. Based on her reactions up until now, she doesn't know about Noritoshi inheriting the technique. What were her thoughts on Noritoshi and his mother? Was she spiteful of them? Maybe a little resentful since she cannot bear a son? Knowing her gentle and understanding nature, I doubt she was the vengeful, wife archetype.

"Yes. I cannot fathom the pain that she goes through every single day. The abhorrent treatment she endures from the clan is worse than I ever faced due to her origins. I could only hope that her child will not undergo similar conditions." She paused. "Though, the woman and I are not much different, yes? For both of us are outsiders."

I said nothing more, knowing that she was right.

Just as father proclaimed a day ago, my new lessons started and I retaliated with every fiber of my being. When the embroidery lady arrived by noon, she was bewildered by my absence, alarming every attendant who usually stood in front of my door. According to Chitose, they alerted the entire clan grounds, sending out men to find me. Pretty overdramatic for someone they deemed a mistake, don't you think? In contrast, I was calmly reading a book about writing talismans in the west library and when they found me, peace once again returned.

Father was furious when the news of my two hour disappearance reached him and with support of the elders, I was ordered to be confined in my room, until all of my lessons were completed for the day. The lessons were utterly useless and unless I'm back-stitching the shit out of cursed spirits, yeah no. Now practically speaking, I could overpower the male attendants guarding my door but was it ethical? Absolutely not. These men were probably terrified of him and were only following orders.

I wasn't about to sit around during confinement and do nothing about my situation. I had a plan but hesitated as it could make my already crummy situation worse. The plan was to contact the principal of Tokyo Jujutsu High and ask to enroll in the school. I was well aware father was one step ahead of me and approached the principal of the Kyoto institution at some point, influencing them to not enroll me with the excuse of tradition. Not to mention, the principal was Yoshinobu Gakuganji, a member of the Jujutsu higher-ups and a staunch conservative. So my chances of convincing him to let me attend was zero to 'don't even think about it.' Which left the principal of the Tokyo institution, Masamichi Yaga.

It was stupid to think father only blocked my chances in Kyoto however, the headmaster of the Tokyo school appeared to have fair judgement and embraced progressive ideals in the series. Out of the two, he was my safest bet. It was a gamble, really as I wasn't sure how easily he was willing to accept me. I remember he asked Yuji his purpose of enrolling before being accepted to see if he truly understands the grim lives of sorcerers and the importance of their duties. But that was thirteen years into the future. There was no guarantee he would ask me the same question. As long as I am being honest, I think I'll be fine. I had to be as this was my only chance.

I obediently took my lessons, not arousing any suspicions and during the night I planned. I searched up one-way trips and ticket prices of bullet trains, finally landing on the JR Tokaido Shinkansen. It connected major cities of Japan including Kyoto to Tokyo and took about two and half hours to arrive. The pricing wasn't bad either, costing fourteen thousand yen or about a hundred and twenty-five dollars for a reserved seat. I made a copy of Tokyo, mapping out where Mount Mushiro was and nearby hotels I had to stay in if something went wrong. Chitose and mother helped me pack essential things inconspicuously, little by little. Money was probably the only perks of being the daughter of a clan head and if I ever needed more, I planned on selling my jewelry. I also needed to purchase a phone since father never allowed me to possess one but it wasn't a priority yet.

Operating in the pretense of a Buddhist temple, Jujutsu High was a broad campus of several traditional Japanese architectural buildings. The school itself was well hidden, far and high in the mountains of Tokyo's outskirts. It had no official entrance as there were several. This was because of Master Tengen who maintains the protective barrier to hide the property from the outside world. Since I read the manga, I recalled one of the entrances that led to the school and wrote it down in code so I won't forget. The entrance was in the foothills of Mount Mushiro, up a long case of stairs marked by Torii gates and that was my destination.

There was another reason I hesitated implementing my plan; my mother and Noritoshi. I didn't want to leave them behind. I knew nothing bad would happen to Noritoshi but that can't be applied to my mother. I thought of including her into my plan, but what happens if I'm not successful? But if I left her here, she could be held accountable for my disappearance. The thought kept me from leaving for days until finally, I concluded on bringing her with me.

She refused.

"Why not?" I asked incredulously.

"I'll be a hindrance."

"You will not be a hindrance." I articulated. "Why do you think so? You know what father is capable of!"

She carefully chose her words. "I am aware that you're worried for my safety but how will you pursue your future? Have you not promised me that you'll be the one to craft your own fate? If I came with you, I only distract you from fulfilling it. You would be constantly worried about me, unable to focus on your studies." She pulled me in for a hug. "Do not worry about me. I will be fine."

I could ask the principal to provide some type of protection for mother but I wasn't even sure if he'd accept me in the first place. I hugged her back, uncertainty and guilt churned in my mind. "I can't leave you behind."

"You are not leaving me behind." She assured. "You'll be coming back, no?"

My mother was a stubborn woman who firmly stood by her words. It was futile to change her mind on something once she set her mind into it. Trust me, I tried before. At the end of the day, she was still his lawful wife and if there was an ounce of humanity left in my father, the worst he could do was ostracize her.

"I'm sorry." I only managed to say.

I'm sorry for leaving you.

I'm sorry for not being strong enough.

I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you.

She softly chuckled. "I'll be waiting for you."

I have always wanted to meet Noritoshi since the day he was born but father never allowed it but today, I had to see him regardless. After some eavesdropping, I learned that he was actually living at the western compound, not somewhere else like I initially thought. It was a Sunday which meant no lessons and it was also the day I departed for Tokyo.

The night before, Chitose, mother and I stayed up, double checking to make sure I had everything packed and ready to go. I confessed to them that I wanted to meet Noritoshi and they both agreed. Chitose suggested I bring a gift for him and so, we made wagashi differing in shapes and sizes for the boy. Children are fond of sweets, no? Mother and I carefully packaged them in a small wooden box and wrapped it in a beautiful furoshiki.

Using the excuse of going to the western library, I instead took the detour that led to the building that Noritoshi and his mother were staying at. The western part of the compound was basically like a garbage disposal for the unwanted and forgotten. It was the place I was first inhabiting before being moved to the northern area. (I was moved again at thirteen to the eastern side.) After making sure I wasn't being followed, I sprinted to their location and made sure I didn't drop the box of sweets. As long as I completed the lessons for the day, father didn't give a shit on what I do with my life afterwards and thus no guards shadowed me today. I requested to go alone to the attendants, stating that I'll be at the library until the evening and their presence wasn't necessary. In reality, I didn't want to make Noritoshi and his mother feel uncomfortable with the amount of people following me. It made me feel important, imposing when in actuality I wasn't.

I heard a boyish laughter resonating near a slightly dilapidated building and there they were, sitting at the edge of an engawa, playing some type of te-asobi. Beside them was a single attendant on stand by. The Noritoshi in front of me was different from what I already knew. His smile was bright, brimming with laughter that was free and pure, contrasting to his later years. The clan had not tainted him yet with their warped ideologies. His forced loyalty destroyed his capability of feeling.

I must've been staring for a while as the attendant beside them bowed the moment she noticed me. "Lady Natsue."

The joyous atmosphere vanished.

Noritoshi's mother abruptly stood up, lowering her head while Noritoshi hid behind her legs. His eyes that were filled with a mixture of apprehension and weariness observed me, trying to determine if I was a threat or not.

Awkward is thy name.

I cleared my throat, "My apologies for interrupting." Keep it light! I practically shouted to myself. "I simply wish to deliver these sweets that my mother and I made the night before." I lifted the wrapped box up higher to show.

They made no movements and I don't blame them. I was the intruder.

My eyes fell back to Noritoshi, who clung on to his mother for dear life. Maybe I could try breaking the tension with him first.

I crouched, matching my eye level with his and untied the furoshiki, opening the box. "It's wagashi. My mother and I made them for you and your mother to enjoy."

He lifted his head towards his mother, searching from approval. She stares at him back, trying her hardest to hide her own trepidation and uneasiness. Remarkably, he lets his head fall, taking one step away from his mother and a cautious step towards me. It's progress.

"Come on now, I don't bite." I successfully managed to be mock-offended.

He watched me with careful eyes, but there was a flicker of humor somewhere in his features. So, I patiently waited as he slowly approached until he stood in front of me. He peered inside the box and his eyes twinkled at the sights of the treats. The tension on his features melted away. Seeing him this closely, Noritoshi strongly resembled his mother. The shape of his face and nose were his mother's but father took his eyes and brow bone.

He tilted his head downward as if he remembered something. "Mother said too much sweets are bad for me."

I hummed, "she's right but having one or two a day shouldn't be too bad. I personally like the strawberry one." I pointed at the said wagashi. I closed the box and messily tied back the furoshiki and handed it to him. He again looked back at his mother, then reluctantly took the box from me.

"Thank you." My younger brother uttered in a barely audible voice.

…my brother.

Before I could stop myself, my right hand lightly placed itself on top of his head. He stiffened from the sudden contact but didn't try to writhe away. Instead, his brows knitted in confusion.

The temptation of revealing my identity to him was overwhelming. I had to remind myself that he was only five and wanted to spare him from many burdens before he was brought into the clan at six. I was not in fact, using the excuse of age to undermine his capability of understanding certain situations. But it was just too much. Too… heavy for him to think about right now.

"I'll come back for you. I promise."

Right now, I was powerless, alone, and insignificant. I had nothing.

I gently guided his pinky finger to hook against mine and pressed our thumbs together. "Once I make promises, it's pretty hard for me to break them, you know?"

His face still etched with puzzlement, stared back and forth between me and our linked hands. Some day he will know.

I stood up, turning my attention to his mother. What do I say to her? Apologize? There were too many things I wanted to tell her at once and I struggled to pick which held the most importance. But I didn't have to think for long.

"Thank you." Though her face displayed no emotion, her eyes expressed gratitude.

I bowed. "No, thank you."

I lifted my head to see her beyond stunned reaction and swiftly looked away before she had the chance to say anything.

"Goodbye for now, Noritoshi." I waved and turned on my heel to leave.

"Um, excuse me!"

I glanced over my shoulder.

He fidgeted with the sleeve of his kimono, contemplating on something and ultimately gathered his courage. "What is… your name?"

I grinned, "It's Natsue. Just… Natsue."

Shimmering stars illuminated the moonless, jet black sky, as if to remind us that even in darkness there is still light. It was four in the morning and we stood in front of the main gate of the compound, eloped by the blackness and hidden from father's watchful eyes.

There is a hug of gentle arms that gives you the space to breathe; then there is one with strong arms that reminds you of everything that you are and will be- soul, body, and mind and that they will always be with you.

My mother finally pulled away from a hug that almost lasted an eternity, holding me by my shoulders. "Look after your health, take breaks, and make sure you're eating well." She rambled on, "you're picky when it comes to some food but try to broaden your plate. Don't study too hard and enjoy breaks from time to time. Be aware of your mental health and try to befriend some people. Be careful of strangers and don't stay out too late. There are countless men with perverted intentions out there…"

I try not to chuckle at her rambling.

"…and, please—just stay safe." She concluded.

"I will, mother. I promise."

Her eyes glistened, "return quickly."

I wrapped my arms over her for the final time and nodded.

Tears were streaming down Chitose's face by the time I got to her. She who was like my second mother. She who stood by my side no matter the situation. She who were one of the few people in my new life that provided me with genuine affection.

I took her hands into mine. "Thank you for everything. Please take care of my mother and Noritoshi for me."

"Of course, my lady. You must come back safe." She sniffled.

I walked out, continuously waving at the two most important women in my life until they disappeared within the dark horizon.

The nearest bullet train station was about five miles away and I had to flag a taxi. Once there, I purchased the tickets for the train and within minutes the train arrived. This was one of my favorite things about Japan in my current and past lives. No matter what time you arrived at the station, if it was during operational times, there was always a train waiting for you.

I rode the train for two and half hours, arriving in the early morning and the city was just as I remembered from my past life. It was alive, with lights that rivaled the heavens. The early morning did not impede the city's life; from the honking of vehicles, to the bustling streets, and the sound of hundreds of people speaking on their phones or to each other. This was Tokyo.

I spent the rest of the morning locating Mount Mushiro, taking buses and asking people for directions. When I arrived, I began searching for the series of Torii gates and sure enough at the foothills, there they stood. I followed the trail of gates, climbing the seemingly never-ending stairs. In the haze of the afternoon, I felt my loose clothes start to cling on my back and what started as a glassy sheen, my sweat became beaded, dripping down my face. I periodically wiped it off with the back of my hand. The heat and humidity were killing me.

When I saw the last Torii gate, I stopped, taking a moment to prepare myself. I checked to see if my blood bags were around my hand reaching distance and went over my script of things to discuss with Principal Yaga. After a deep breath, I climbed the last few sets of stairs that led to Jujutsu High. A part of me doubted if I crossed the barrier or not but the sight of the ancient architectural designs of Jujutsu High quickly abandoned that feeling.

I was not a natural born navigator with my abominable sense of direction evident by the countless times I became lost in the Kamo compound. The campus itself was indeed huge, making me feel as if I was in a maze from how the buildings and trees were aligned. I mindlessly wandered around, trying to find somebody for directions and eventually I did. Two sorcerers(?) that I wasn't familiar with marched their way towards me.

"State your business here!" The sorcerer on the right demanded.

"She must be a curse user." The one next to him, a woman, stated with the same amount of aggressiveness. "I'll call for reinforcements."

I wasn't sure what to say to convince them I was not a threat, after all I was the infiltrator.

"Wait. I am not a curse user." I said as levelly as possible. "I am here to meet with the principal of the institution, Yaga Masamichi."

Suspicion and skepticism donned on their features as they took their fighting stances.

I seriously was not in the mood to fight. I just climbed multiple sets of stairs, sweating buckets in the process and traveled almost two hundred and twenty-seven miles to get here. But if they attack first, so be it. My hand slowly gravitated towards a blood bag.

"My name is Kamo Natsue." My final attempt before resorting to violence. "I realize that I look suspicious, finding my way into the institution without a sorcerer escorting me however, I mean no harm. I only wish to meet the principal to formally enroll in the institute."

The animosity they previously exhibited completely disappeared with the mention of the word Kamo.

"You are from the Kamo family?" The woman quired. "I thought the Kamo clan resided in Kyoto. Why are you not attending the sister institution?"

"I will only disclose the specific reason to principle Yaga." I asserted firmly.

My statement fueled the man's skepticism. "And how can we trust you?"

"If I am indeed lying, then killing me will not be a problem, no? After all, I am within your territory." I countered.

That was in fact true. I was inside the barrier of Jujutsu High which also served as a headquarters for all alumni who have graduated. There was no doubt that sorcerers a thousand percent stronger than me were present.

Both sorcerers stared at each other warily, seemingly communicating with their eyes. Hesitation and uncertainty were the main culprits of their indecisiveness. Finally, the woman stepped forward, reaching a final decision.

"We'll take you to the principal however, the moment we detect the slightest bit of conflict, we will not hesitate."

"I understand." I replied. "Thank you."

They escorted me around the campus, each standing at either side of me. When we reached a building that had the three stories high pagoda style building, the man left to notify the principal of my arrival.

"I apologize for keeping you waiting." A voice came above a short set of stairs. "My name is Yaga Masamichi, the principal of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical college."

Like the many other things I've already seen in my new life, it felt surreal to meet Yaga Masamichi in person. He was obviously younger here, sporting a shaved head with two lines that ran around his head, and didn't wear his glasses.

I bowed. "Not at all. I should be the one apologizing for barging into your institute without notice." I continued, "I wish to speak to you in regards to my urgent situation."

"I see. Please, follow me inside."

He guided me inside the building, entering a room that was his office. My anxiety and nervousness numbed my ability to feel other emotions.

"I expected your arrival sooner or later." He said while pouring me a cup of tea. "The head of the Kamo clan and Principal Yoshinobu Gakuganji have already informed me about your situation, Kamo-san. Despite knowing my answer may not be at your prospect, you still travelled a long distance."

"Then you must know the truth about my dire circumstances. My father and the clan are thwarting any chances of me becoming a sorcerer by citing my gender as the issue." I explained, "They ceased my lessons on Blood Manipulation and Jujutsu sorcery, replacing them with lessons to learn how to be a proper wife. I was tired of being treated as a political pawn that had no autonomy in my own life and I knew I couldn't live that way for the rest of my life."

"Is escaping your family your only reason for becoming a sorcerer?" He asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you trying to become a sorcerer to only evade your family's clutches?" He repeated. "The life of a sorcerer is short and bleak, with many succumbing to death very early in their age. Simply using it as an outlet for your freedom is, if I be frank, insulting."

I went silent, processing his words. Was it my only reason? Was I really just using it to escape my unfairly predetermined future? No, no it wasn't. My true reason, my true end goal of becoming a sorcerer was to reform and protect. For my mother, my brother, his mother— for the future generations of Jujutsu sorcerers.

"No. Utilizing the path of a sorcerer to avoid my current predicament is selfish and as you said, insulting to those who have made ultimate sacrifices. I wish to become a sorcerer in order to bring change to my family, to the Jujutsu system and for the future generations. I want to protect those who cannot protect themselves and those who I love."

Admittedly, the last sentence I uttered was kind of cheesy and cliche but it was honest. While growing up, the feeling of helplessness and fury from not being able to defend or do something for the people I loved ate me alive. I did not, ever want to be helpless again.

The headmaster folded his arms, contemplating whether or not my answer was genuine and his lips cracked into a tiny smile, barely noticeable. He was satisfied with my answer. "Denying a person an education, an entire future due to one's gender is unacceptable. Sakaguchi Kazuya will show you your dorm and explain the rules and security. Your first day will be in two days."

I would finally feel the rush of alleviation that was withheld for weeks if it weren't for one last adversary of my worries.

"And about my family? My father and the clan will work against me in every way possible."

"Do not worry. I'll take responsibility," he assured. "Welcome to Jujutsu High."

AN: The first three chapters are slow but important as it sets up her new life and her reaction to having blood manipulation. I wanted to make her reincarnation as realistic as possible so that's why the pace was a bit slow at the beginning but now we're finally getting into the main stuff! I feel like some of you might think I was rushing her childhood days but I didn't want to drag it out too much because well, nothing much happened other than her training, learning, and dealing with her father. I also didn't like having a lot of line-breaks detailing every year of her youth because again, that'll take too long. So I just tried to summarize by only adding important parts. Thank you for reading, the follows, and favorites. See you at the next update.