Title: Nevertheless

Disclaimer: I do not own Jujutsu Kaisen

AN: Not going to lie, I struggled a bit with this chapter. It's like I didn't want to make Natsue too overpowered in just a short amount of time but at the same time, I didn't want to underwhelm her. There's a more detailed explanation of my dilemma at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 5

It was easy to fall into routine as a student sorcerer. Unlike other occupations, sorcerers didn't have set work schedules, like Saturdays or Sundays off. We worked if there was a mission or in need of money and took breaks if exhausted or severely injured. With that being said, we continued to complete missions across Tokyo: exorcising cursed spirits and investigating locations. But that doesn't mean those missions went on smoothly.

For instance, one of our missions required us to exorcise spirits in an abandoned factory and let's just say all of us forgot to cast a curtain around the area. I still can't believe not one of us remembered to cast it. The ensuing chaos from our mistake earned us a very harsh scolding from Yaga Masamichi but I had the feeling this won't be the last time we were going to forget. As punishment, all four of us had to clean and reorganize the school's library and let me just tell you, the library was big as hell and filthy as hell. Those three days of cleaning felt like three months.

I tried my best not to blame the entire incident on Gojo as part of it was my fault for forgetting the curtain. But damn, it was hard not to. During the entire cleaning process, he loitered around, talking with Suguru and occasionally handed Shoko and I books off the ground for us to put back into the shelves. Not to mention, he was the one that caused the explosion from the factory, alerting nearby governments and attracting national attention to the incident.

Speaking of Gojo, if there was one word that could describe our relationship at the moment, it was… annoying. He incessantly teased, borderline bullied me until Suguru or Shoko tried to intervene but of course he wouldn't listen. He was the root of all my migraines these days. Honestly though, without his presence I feel like life would be a little dull and too stiff due to our professions. Which is why I learned to tolerate his antics, sometimes even playing along with him to his delight. And this was something I will probably never admit to anyone but I somewhat enjoy his playful demeanor.

Suguru, on the other hand, reminded me so much of my older brother from my distant past. Both were proper men, full of compassion that you can't help but grow to rely on. They were the type of people who watched you from behind, encouraged you from behind, making sure to always be there to catch you from behind when collapsing from the hardships of life. So, it wasn't difficult for me to open up to him and reveal a little bit of my problematic childhood and family relations to him. I remember how he sat there, listening without a word but his silence had said everything. He offered me advice, consoled me, and was there whenever the malicious side of my inner psyche began taking over. But it was heart wrenching to remember that one day all of this will disappear. Straying away from the path of a jujutsu sorcerer and losing himself — no losing faith in humanity. The thought was constantly at the back of my mind, poking at me whenever I was around Suguru. What caused the change? Realistically, could I stop it?

However, their relationship was not as deep(?) as the one I formed with Shoko. Don't get me wrong, gender has nothing to do with our relationship dynamics as they all became equally important to me but I felt like there were certain limits to how much they can understand me, not to the extent that Shoko does. I swear to God, the rate at how fast we became close friends should be a world record. Majority of the bonding came from that one mission we covered with just the two of us at Shinjuku. I was surprised at how naturally we opened up to each other after that, spending many nights sleeping over at each other's dorms (even though her room was right next to mine), going shopping, confiding in each other with things that only she and I will ever know, and just girls stuff in general. She was like a sister that I never had but wished for in both my previous and current life.

My rank placement test occurred two weeks after I first arrived and as Principal Yaga predicted, I received a grade two, which was exceptional upon enrollment. There's really nothing much to describe how the test went as all I did was demonstrate my Blood Manipulation techniques and martial arts. A small audience had gathered at the location where my exam was supposed to be conducted, which I'm guessing were some of the other teachers and very few of the higher-ups. They observed me, assessing my skills and afterwards debated among themselves what I rank my skill level was at. But what was strange to me was how acquiescent my family were after I received the rank. I thought they would immediately throw a conniption, doing everything they can to stop it. Instead, all I was met with was silence and my suspicions grew, paranoid of their quietness. They had to be plotting something.

Being a grade two meant I could go on solo missions that weren't as dangerous but still required a capable sorcerer. I completed a few solo missions compared to Gojo and Suguru who probably completed about a hundred each by that time. The experience was like any other regular mission except it was… peaceful. At one point, I actually felt weird that I wasn't hearing the usual bickering between the boys.

If we weren't busy with missions, Principal Yaga would train us one on one or teach us all at once. For example, one day it'll be sparring and the other, teaching us the importance of curtains and how to cast one. Let me just say, that man did not hold back during sparring. Every session had me feeling bruised and sore, wishing that I was back at my dorm already for a warm bath. However, I was seeing the improvement that I craved before attending the school. I could feel myself becoming stronger, my Blood Manipulation techniques were more refined than before and I was using cursed energy more efficiently and effectively.

Reliving life twice during the mid 2000s made me realize how atrocious the fashion choices were and ancient the technology was. The group (mainly Shoko) wanted to go downtown Tokyo to go shopping in the evening. Correction: it was more of Shoko and I's shopping secession while the boys unwillingly followed. So I took this opportunity to finally buy a phone. Oh, excuse me, a flip phone. I had to repeatedly remind myself that it was still 2005; smart phones such as the iphone weren't released yet. Their reaction to me never owning a phone in this life was amusing. Suguru and Shoko reacted like any other friends would if you told them you didn't have a device; they ushered you inside an electronics store. Au contraire, Gojo promptly seized the opportunity to tease me.

"I still can't believe you didn't have a phone." Gojo snickered as we walked out of the store.

"Because my father didn't let me." I repeated what was like the trillionth time and felt my cheeks flush in unnecessary embarrassment. Why was it so embarrassing? It was probably because it meant I had no social life and the thought of not having a phone at this age, especially with technology on the rise, was outlandish. "Leave me alone."

Suguru, bless his soul, came to my defense like always. "At least she got one now." He pulled out his phone. "Let's exchange numbers."

Shoko pulled out her own rose gold flip phone, "looks like you made good use of those solo missions' money, huh."

"Yup." I proudly exclaimed while taking out my brand new device.

If my old world had the job of being a professional sorcerer, I would abandon everything to become one. The pay that we received for completing a mission was so— marvelous. Every time I receive my bank book with the deposited money, no matter what mood I was in previously, a smile will unconsciously form in my lips. That's why when Shoko suggested we go downtown earlier, I happily agreed without hesitation.

"Here." Gojo handed me his phone.

The moment I was done inputting my number and about to add my name, he snatched it back from me.

"Hey, I didn't put my name in!"

"I'll take care of that." He simply replied with what I thought was an irritating smirk on his face. "See? Natsue." He displayed his phone to me, pronouncing my name the correct way when in fact it was written wrong.

Sometimes he would purposely misspell my name to Natsu, a more masculine version just to get me riled up and at first it did annoy me for a time being but like many other of his banters, I learned to tolerate it.

Suguru ignored our little squabble, "I'll add you to the group chat. And Satoru, I swear if you start spamming cat pictures in the chat again, I'll kill you myself."

"Eh, if that's the worst thing that'll happen, I'll do it again!" Gojo shrugged whilst sticking out his tongue a bit.

You see, threats virtually don't work if you're the strongest.

"How much did he send?" I asked. "It couldn't be that much right?"

"He sent so much to the point our phones began lagging." Shoko glowered at Gojo. "So we had to clear all the messages for our phones to work properly."

I was impressed. Spamming using a flip phone was no easy task.

"But weren't they cute?" The white haired sorcerer aww'ed. "I just wanted to share their cuteness with my friends!"

"You can fond over their cuteness by yourself." Suguru said frankly.

I clapped my hands together. "Alrighties guys, we haven't got all day and I still got two more stops to go." I started walking towards a specific direction without them.

"What're you going to buy now?" Gojo complained. "We've been out for hours and I don't want to carry any more bags for you."

"You're not carrying that much. Now come on." I commanded.

Shoko tugged me towards a nearby store. "Can we also stop by a shoe store? I need another pair of sneakers after a cursed spirit vomited on mine the other day."

"Sure."

"Looks like we're far from done." I heard Suguru mumble from behind while carrying Shoko's bags of necessities.

Ever heard of the phrase, 'cute but deadly?' Some might use it to describe animals, others for people but in this context, I'm talking about Principal Yaga's cursed corpses. I give you one piece of advice; no matter how cute they look, do not fall for their cuteness. I repeat, do not fall for their cuteness.

I rubbed my upper arm, attempting to soothe the pain away from the sucker punch I received from Coco and admittedly, I kind of deserved that for underestimating the cursed doll. As a response, it mockingly giggled, taunting me for the momentary pain I was in. The second cursed doll, Mimi tried to sneak up behind me again, but this time, I was prepared.

Whirling around, I connected my feet to its face with enough power to make it fly back and before I had the chance to permanently incapacitate it, the third doll, Ranmaru, punted me on the stomach, knocking the wind out from my lungs. I swear those plushie hands and feet were made out of iron or something. At the corner of my eye, Coco began advancing towards me with unparalleled speed.

I tucked in my arms, keeping them tight against my chest. The moment Coco tried striking me, I dodged and immediately threw a left hook across its face. Sensing an impending attack from both Ranmaru and the recovered Mimi, I reached from the latter's head, holding on to it with a near death grip and smashed its face on my knee cap. Anticipating a punch from Ranmaru, I didn't try to avoid it, knowing the cost of this opportunity if I did. I was in very close proximity with the doll. Even though I expected the attack, the punch hurt like a bitch. With a brisk move, I retaliated by landing a combo of an uppercut and a spinning hook kick.

Now, I could get this spar over with by using Blood Manipulation but, I wanted to improve my hand to hand combat skills with the Principal. Throughout the few missions I've completed from my short stay here, I realized I've been relying too much on my inherited technique. What would happen if I ran out of blood bags? I couldn't use the blood flowing within my body as a replacement without avoiding death. So, I specifically requested the headmaster for today's spar to be strictly martial arts.

All of the cursed dolls were the creation of Principal Yaga and he frequently used them for sparring against my classmates and I. The notion of nonliving objects endowed with curse energy and allowing it to gain self-autonomy or pre-determined commands was fascinating to me. In my previous life, I always wondered what it was like if my plushies or stuffed animals were able to move and I guess I know the answer to that.

All three were able to recover within minutes and I could feel the beginning effects of fatigue creeping over me.

"You are still not understanding the essence of cursed energy." The headmaster said disapprovingly. "Although you have meticulous control of your cursed energy, you are still lacking another crucial step."

I frowned. Welp, scratch what I previously said about having better control over my cursed energy. Before we began the spar, the principal asserted that he was going to teach me a new jujutsu but it required an incredible amount of concentration and even warned me that no jujutsu sorcerer was capable of using it at will. How encouraging.

"I don't think I understand what you mean." I finally admitted. "You repeatedly say that I'm not understanding the essence of cursed energy but what are you referring to? I take that there is an underlying issue that I am not quite grasping since I already know the fundamental concepts of it in order to perform jujutsu."

It took a lot for me to confess that I didn't know something without having me figure it out first as I'm the type of person who wants to try solving things by themselves.

He didn't say anything at first, scanning my face for any indication of realization. But when he found none, he walked towards me. "Like most sorcerers, you instinctively believe it starts from the negative feelings within your stomach and flows through the rest of your body. And that's incorrect."

I stared at him, even more confused now. If cursed energy didn't power from the stomach, how else does it travel throughout the body? During my days of research and from father, I assumed cursed energy originated at the center of the body, where everything is aligned. Like the heart pumping blood throughout the body, I thought that cursed energy was pumped the exact same way but from negative emotions originating around the stomach, the center.

"You are unconsciously thinking of your body as different sections, dividing the cursed energy in which parts that need the most and parts that don't. This process is erroneous as it delays the flow of your energy." He formed his hands into a circle, demonstrating what unity is to me. "Everything has to be united, under one. Your soul, body, mind, whatever it may be, everything has to be unified. You exist in the world as one."

"As one." I repeated.

As one.

This entire time I have not been utilizing cursed energy with full potential. Why haven't I thought about this before? Why was I so oblivious to it until now?

"Only then will you be able to reach your full potential, increasing your cursed energy awareness. Today's spar was an attempt on making you unleash Black Flash for the first time." He revealed. "Due to your immaculate control over cursed energy, I judged that today was the right moment."

Black Flash. The phenomenon in jujutsu that amplifies the user's physical strikes when cursed energy is applied within one-millionth of a second. The phenomenon that was described as 'the sparks of black do not choose who to bless.'

Coupled with the fact I was utilizing cursed energy incorrectly and the precision required to perform the technique, doubt lingered in my mind.

"I don't know if I'm capable of performing the technique." I said hesitantly. "I read that the user has to apply their cursed energy within one-millionth of a second to achieve it. How can I— who just found out that I wasn't using cursed energy to its true potential, perform one right now?"

There was a momentary silence before he asked me a question that I thought had an obvious answer to. "Do you know why I decided to let you attend this school?"

"I— well, it's because I want to become a sorcerer." There was a slight inflection in my voice as uncertainty began trickling in.

"There. That uncertainty. Why are you doubting yourself so much? Where is the self-confidence that you displayed to me when you first arrived?" He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I let you attend because I believe in you. That day, you showed me your determination and sheer will to defy what has been already laid out to you. Ever since that day, I had a strong feeling of premonition from you and will continue to do so. Have faith in yourself more, trust in yourself more."

He believed in me.

Growing up, I was constantly told that I was never good enough, a mistake that should have never been born and to hear someone have so much conviction towards me, it was— it felt— special. All my life, I had only two people who provided me the same amount of trust and support that he did and to know that there was another added onto that list, made me appreciate the non-toxic environment I was in.

I said nothing more except for widening my stance, ready for another round with the curse dolls.

A ghost of a smile formed on Principal Yaga's lips. "Remember to focus on the flow of your energy. United as one."

I nodded and took a deep breath, channeling my cursed energy within me. As one. Soul, body, and mind. As one.

This time, only Coco charged at me with its ungodly speed and landed some blows. I didn't flinch when the left side of my face began throbbing painfully nor did I move to swipe blood dribbling down from my temple. I was unaware of the pain actually, as my entire mental effort was set on one thing.

The timing had to be perfect, not a single mistake can occur during the process. Salty droplets fell down my face from concentration as I honed my cursed energy. My eyes burned from the lack of blinking that occurred and exhaustion was pounding at my doors but I ignored.

When Coco was unfortunately in close proximity with me again, I waited for the precise timing. A millionth of a second.

Just a bit more.

A little bit more.

Now.

The space between Coco and I became blurred, distorted. The world slowed, temporarily whitening and at the corner of my eyes, I saw black sparks clapping through the air. Streaks of bold lights swallow me whole and the chirping of coal black lightnings deafen me. A roar of cursed energy rushed through my right hand and my fist smashed into its face, sending it backwards with a momentum so fierce that the poor cursed corpse broke through the surrounding location's trees. The earth shook, angry for being disturbed.

I heavily breathe in and out, staring down at my hands. The familiar, warm feeling rushed throughout my body but this time something was… different. It was hard to describe but it felt much more invigorating, lighter and my perception of the energy heightened. It reminded me of when I initially used Blood Manipulation.

Everything was clear. Everything was connected.

"How do you feel?" Principal Yaga asked.

"Like I understand… everything. Everything… is so connected." I managed to reply, still in shock of my new found achievement.

"That is the higher understanding of the essence of your cursed energy. Compared to the you five minutes beforehand, the you now gained intensive knowledge of how your energy flows and works. From now on, unleashing Black Flash won't be as arduous as it was the first time. Your mental process of manipulating cursed energy becomes second nature like breathing." Principal Yaga explained. "Congratulations Natsue. You have grown."

One evening, after coming back from a sparring session with Suguru, I was called into Principal Yaga's office, citing that my presence was necessary. I already knew it had to do with a mission, maybe a solo one. Before a sorcerer is dispatched for a mission, the headmaster will provide a brief case introduction or background so that the sorcerer knows what they're going into.

Sakaguchi escorted me to the office and once we entered, I was mildly surprised to see Gojo casually sitting on the couch adjacent to where the principal sat. I took a seat next to Gojo, forcing him to scoot over for more space and to sit properly.

"For this mission, I'm having the two of you go together."

We both shared the side glance of childish annoyance.

"Is there a problem?" The principal lifted a brow.

"No sir."

"Nope." We simultaneously replied.

"Right then. This mission will be a bit different compared to your other ones, Natsue, as it'll be your first mission not in Tokyo."

I cringed from that. Please, please don't be in Kyoto. I still wasn't emotionally, mentally, and physically ready to deal with my family yet.

"Your mission will occur in Osaka, in the district of Shinsaibashisuji, the entertainment powerhouse of the city."

Thank God.

"You mean the street food powerhouse of the city." Gojo corrected. "I heard that the takoyaki and curry will bring tears to your eyes!"

Woah, woah, hold up. Street food powerhouse? I'm not sure whether I should believe Gojo or not but under circumstances that involve food, that's a game changer.

"I heard that their takoyaki is one of the best. Do you think that's true?" I asked, my heart jumping from excitement.

"Of course! I heard the octopus they used is totally different from the ones used in Tokyo. And the desserts, Natsue, the desserts are the real killer!"

"The desserts?!" Okay, he sold me from here. If there was one thing Gojo and I had in common, it was our love for sweets.

He rambled on. "The dango, daifuku, and taiyaki are the must eats when visiting. The creamy red bean filling of taiyaki is exquisite and the bread gives you that crispy crunch if baked at the right temperature and—"

"Ahem." The headmaster cleared his throat, not amused at the slightest. "Here are the details of the mission. From August ninth to the present, a total of twenty-one women between the ages of twenty to twenty-eight have gone missing without a trace. The alarming rate of their disappearances prompted the Osaka government to launch an official investigation, preparing for the worst: a serial killer. However, after hearing about the news, we decided to send a sorcerer to investigate as well, in case it was connected to a cursed spirit. And it was. We found cursed energy residue in parts of the city, leading to a manhole underground. There, we discovered the gruesome bodies of all the missing women."

The number of morbid missions I took basically made me immune from the grisly details but this was still too much.

I placed my index finger on my chin. "Are there any other commonalities the women shared?"

"That is what I'm about to inform next." Principal Yaga pulled out a file from his desk drawer that contained official documents about the victims. "All of the women were known prostitutes around the area, primarily operating from one in the morning to dawn. Meaning this cursed spirit is active particularly during the night. Your job is to find this spirit and eradicate it before it claims more unnecessary lives." He brings out another paper but this time it was a map of the district with red dots at specific locations and pointed at them. "The red dots indicate the last place the victims were seen and as you can see there is a pattern: red light districts and alleyways. This should be enough to track down the spirit considering both of you can also detect residue."

He folded the map and handed it to me. "We bought plane tickets and reserved hotel rooms in advance; however, I expect both of you to return within two days. Sakaguchi will accompany you in case something goes wrong but I have full belief that there will be no disturbances."

Gojo smirked. I knew that smirk. It was his signature of-course-nothing-will-go-wrong-because-I'm-the strongest smirk. "We'll be back within a day since we have me. When do we depart?"

"Your flight is scheduled to depart at eleven in the morning tomorrow. And I expect both of you to not cause any trouble while you're there. Understood?" He warned, fully knowing the amount of trouble Gojo and I could get into. "You're both dismissed."

We sauntered out of his office, stopping by the vending machine to buy some drinks.

"I want the strawberry flavored one."

"Yeah, yeah I know." He inserted a coin and pressed the button before repeating the process for his own drink.

"What do you think this cursed spirit is? Grade one? Special grade?" I took a sip of my drink.

"Probably either one of those. Who knows? We'll know by tomorrow." He scratched the back of his head in mild annoyance. "I wanted to explore the city before coming back but he expected us to return within two days."

"This is a mission, not a vacation. Besides, I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to go back to the city."

He gulped down the rest of his drink and crushed it into a miniscule ball of aluminum. "Gotta start packing then. Where're we having dinner?"

"I don't know, ask Suguru. He said he knows a good soba place." I answered. "Now hurry up and leave. I got to pack too."

"I'll see you soon, Natsu." He emphasized the last word.

"I can't believe I'm about to spend two whole days with you."

"I know right? My presence is a blessing."

"Blessing my ass." I snorted.

When I got to the dorms, I burst into Shoko's room, throwing myself onto her bed as she looked on in confusion.

"What's wrong"

"Nothing. I got a mission…"

"Then what's with the reaction?" She sat next to me.

"… with Gojo."

"Ah." She chuckled. "I can already tell he's going to give you a hard time."

"Whatever." I sounded muffled from my face smooshed against her bed sheets. My lungs began to burn from the lack of oxygen intake so I angled my face to the right. "It's in Osaka by the way."

"Osaka? Wow, how do you feel about your first out of town mission?"

"Pretty indifferent; it'll be like the other missions but without you and Suguru. I should start packing right now but the laziness is suffocating me." I was fully aware that I should be busy packing, especially my blood bags but Shoko's bed was really soft.

"Then pack later."

Again, I strive to one day achieve her level of nonchalant-ness with life.

I finally got myself out of her bed after another ten minutes.

"When are you leaving?"

"Eleven AM." I answered at her door.

"Good luck."

Before entering my dorm, I went to the school's clinic for my blood bags. Since it was an extended mission, I decided to pack double the amount that I usually do but part of me thought of packing triple. The only reason why I was against the idea was because it'll take extra space in my suitcase and I needed to pack light. I paced around my room for a while packing extra clothes, toiletries, and other things I deemed important enough to bring with me. About half way, Sakaguchi knocked on my door, handing me my official passport. Oh yeah, my passport. The most important thing you need in order to travel and here I am completely forgetting about it.

I finished packing after dinner with the group and tried to sleep early, knowing I have to wake up early tomorrow for the airport. It's recommended to arrive two hours prior to the departure time for a domestic flight and three hours for international flights, so I had to be up by eight the latest.

By the time I arrived at the front gates the next morning, Sakaguchi and Gojo were already waiting for me. We drove to the Haneda Airport, checked in for our flights, handed our luggage over, and completed the rest of the standard airport procedures.

I secretly hoped for a window seat so that I had a nice view and I don't know if this body will react the same or not but in my past life, I easily got airsickness. I should've brought medicine just in case.

Once we got to our reserved seats, I silently lamented for not having the window seat and asked Gojo if we could switch. He obliged but not without a price; we had to watch a movie.

"Let's watch War of the Worlds. It came out two months ago and I haven't watched it yet."

"That movie is about two hours long. We're not going to finish it and I like to finish my movies in one watch." I tried refusing, wanting to nap instead.

"Who gave you the window seat?" He queried shamelessly.

I huffed, "just turn on the movie."

What's the point of watching a movie if you're being disturbed every minute? I couldn't even concentrate watching due to Gojo constantly making noise next to me.

"Why are you shifting around so much!" I whispered-yelled. He was shifting his legs ever since we first took our seats but now that I'm trying to watch a movie, it was very irritating.

He pointed at his legs, "there's not enough space cause I'm too tall."

"Did you pull the seat back as far as possible?"

"This is the furthest it can go."

I sighed, "It's only an hour ride, just endure 'till then."

Did I say this ride was an hour? Because, it's starting to feel like an eternity.

AN: This chapter is mainly dedicated to the gang's bond as I wanted to make their friendship feel as natural as possible. Also, I'm well aware how difficult Black Flash is to perform as stated in the series, even Gojo wasn't capable of using it by will. But after thinking about it, I feel like Natsue is able to unleash it sooner due to her precise cursed energy control that her father rigorously trained into her. So yeah, that was part where I struggled lol Thank you for the reviews and follows. I appreciate every single one of them :)