AN- Hi all. The delay this time around was unfortunatly unavoidable; I hadda go up to Boston for Thanksgiving, then I got sick, and then I had the worst case of writer's block I've had so far. I was working on it late the other night, but that episode of FMA was just so funny I couldn't concentrate. I'd bet my house Riza was dreaming about Roy!
R+R as always!
Of Fear
And so it began.
Riza, at first, wasn't sure what the hell had happened; Roy had come blazing into the office some time around 1:30 A.M., looking like he would fry the first person to look at him cross-eyed. He'd stomped around for a bit, ranting about God knows what, before telling her gruffly to get some rest. She was going to ask him what was wrong--it wasn't like she was all that tired anyway--when Hughes had showed up. He'd done his best to calm the colonel down, but finally had just dragged Riza out, shaking his head and saying that the only thing they could do was let Roy blow off some steam. Then, back in Hughes's office, he'd told her why Roy was so pissed in the first place.
Riza wasn't surprised by the news that she was still the homunculi's target; she'd expected as much. What surprised her was how Roy was taking that news--usually he didn't let others see that their threats were getting to him. His pride wouldn't allow it.
Of course, Hughes had gone off on a tangent about what it all meant, about how it was just more proof that Roy was 'so crazy over you, he can't even think straight!', but she'd tuned him out. Even if it was true--which it wasn't--if she was going to be that much of a disturbance for him, then maybe the higher-ups were smarter then she'd given them credit for, creating that no-fraternization rule. The colonel only had room for one worry right now, and it should definitely not have been her.
The homunculi, the threats, becoming president…those were the issues he should have been focused on. Not her. Not their messed-up relationship and whatever the hell had changed between them.
Riza knew she was turning into a real distraction, never mind what Maes Hughes's foolhardy opinions were. He was just being naive, seeing only the good and not the bad…! Even assuming the colonel was interested: even ignoring all the times he'd dated other women, all the times he'd insisted he was never settling down, all the girls in the city who claimed he was 'in love' with them…even ignoring all that…Riza still knew not to bother hoping. The colonel was too smart to open up that Pandora's box.
Roy would never do anything that might endanger his rise to the top; he'd often said so himself. If he was to start throwing it all away…if he was to start throwing all he'd worked and sweated and bled for away, just because of her…well…it was simply something she never wanted to see. It was simply something he would never do, not for anyone…not for Riza Hawkeye.
The first lieutenant understood all this completely. She knew her chances with Roy were nonexistent, she knew he wouldn't date a fellow soldier because it might affect his personal goals (goals that were as much hers as his, frankly). Didn't she want to see Roy make it to the top? Wasn't she willing to stay on the sidelines if it would help him become president? Of course she was…
And yet…
And yet, sometimes, late at night, something inside Riza would whisper that she was wrong. That Roy would throw everything away for someone he cared about…that he would turn his back on his mission without thinking twice for someone he loved. Even though her rational mind disagreed with a vengeance, that little voice would simply not shut up. Even though her rational mind told her it was reckless, it was risky, it was rash and dangerous and stupid to have a relationship with a commanding officer…even with all that, her conscience sang with the idea, with the certainty that it was the right thing to do.
The right thing to do…how could that be the right thing to do?
How could endangering both their goals and their lives, not to mention the lives of everyone around them, for some crazy emotion be the right thing to do? Since when was it smart to be stupid?
(But always she remembered a hot and sticky day back in Ishbal, by a crowded medical tent, where a young and overwhelmed major had asked her why she didn't just run away…)
"First Lieutenant Hawkeye?"
Riza lifted her head out of her arms, dragging herself out of a restless sleep. Considering the time, she'd decided not to bother going back home, and had instead gone down to the cafeteria. It was late enough that the morning crew had already arrived to open it up, and one of the workers was nice enough to boil up a pot of coffee for her. She'd sat down at one of the tables, hoping the extra caffeine would help keep her awake. Instead, she'd promptly fallen asleep.
Sergeant Major Kain Fury stood next to the table, in a stiff salute. Hawkeye stood up, making sure her bun was still in. It always annoyed her when it came loose at work.
"Sergeant Major…what time is it?"
"10:30, sir."
Riza frowned. Usually she was at her desk and working by eight.
"First Lieutenant, the colonel has asked for everyone to meet in his office."
Riza raised an eyebrow. "Did he say why?"
"No sir…he sounded very serious, so I'm assuming it has something to do with…" Kain's voice trailed off, and he glanced around the now-bustling cafeteria. Riza let out a slight sigh.
"Understood. Tell him I'll be there shortly."
"Yes sir." Fury saluted again and left.
Riza stretched, understandably tired considering she'd slept for exactly four hours—and slumped over in a chair, on top of it. Plus, her head was still aching from that damn cut…she rubbed the area experimentally and winced. Great: it was still bleeding. Riza decided she'd better make a detour to the bathroom before she went to the colonel's office.
A few minutes after she'd left, the slender, brown-haired woman sitting in the opposite corner, out of sight of everyone else in the room, put down her own coffee cup and stood up. She wasn't in uniform, and her non-regulation high-heels clacked against the tile as she rose. As she passed, the woman behind the food counter smiled at her.
"Is there anything else you'd like, Ms.?"
"No."
"Are you sure? I can make another pot of coffee for the president if you'd like, it'd only take a few minutes."
"Sorry. I'm afraid I'm busy right now." Sloth turned and left without another word.
Roy paced behind his desk, back-and-forth, back-and-forth. Behind him, everyone was muttering amongst themselves, trying to figure out just what was going on. Maybe it was the way Roy was fidgeting that told them this wouldn't be an ordinary meeting.
Fury, Breida, and Falman whispered--loudly--about what might be happening. Havoc joined in every now and then, but for the most part just leaned back in his chair and smoked. Hughes sat off to one side, unusually quiet and grim-faced. Armstrong, apparently noticing this, was also keeping quiet.
Roy kept pacing. "Dammit…" he muttered, "Where the heck is Hawkeye already!?"
"I told her just like you said, sir," Fury said nervously. Roy looked…rather angry today. "She said she would be up in a minute…"
"It's been more then a minute!"
Hughes raised an eyebrow. "Jeez, Roy, she's probably on her way right now." Roy mumbled something and flopped down into his chair.
"The colonel sure is upset today," Falman whispered to Breida (or, at least, tried to whisper; the whole room heard anyway.)
"Yeah, I know," Breida 'whispered' back. "What do you think happened?"
"Maybe someone else was attacked!" Fury broke in excitedly.
"How could someone be attacked? We've all been here in Headquarters the entire night."
"Well…maybe someone was attacked inside Headquarters!"
"I guess that's possible…but who? I wasn't attacked…"
"Me either."
"Me either."
"Hey, Havoc, were you attacked last night by any chance?"
"Does it look like I was attacked?"
"Weell…"
"Not funny, Breida!"
"Shut it," Roy growled at them, and the whole bunch gulped and went quiet. And stayed quiet. Hughes sighed, his eyes on Roy, who had gotten up and was now pacing again.
Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back-and-forth…
The door opened, and everyone in the room turned to see who was coming in, simply because it was something to do to relive the tension. Riza raised an eyebrow as she sat down next to Hughes. Now what was going on?
Roy watched her sit down, then cleared his throat. "Ok, here's the deal—" He stopped abruptly. "Someone want to close the door?" he asked testily.
Riza got up again and went to shut it, seeing as how she was the one who hadn't closed it to begin with. As she turned to go back to her seat, her boot heel sank into the carpet with a slight squish. Water bubbled up around her foot.
"It looks like another part of the roof is leaking, sir," she informed him as she sat down.
Hughes shook his head. "Stupid building can't even hold up under a little rain."
Breida snorted. "A little rain? It's been pouring for three days! It's been drizzling since last Friday!"
"Well, yeah, but you think the president's building is leaking-?"
"If we could drop this fascinating conversation for a minute…" Roy snapped. Everyone fell silent again, but it was an uneasy silence at best. "Ok, listen up. The homunculi have made the first move. We're going to be making the second."
Riza clenched her fists and hoped what she was really feeling didn't show up on her face.
"Um…sir?" Fury spoke up timidly. "I-Is that wise, sir? I mean, considering that there's still so much we have to learn…"
"Yeah, really, chief," Havoc added around his cig. "Why so hasty all of a sudden?"
Roy didn't answer. Because of me, Riza wanted to scream, because of me! He was acting stupid and reckless all because of her! Whatever happened from here on in was her fault! No wonder Hughes looked so tired; he'd probably spent half the night trying to talk sense to Roy. He must not have been successful, although it wasn't like that was some big surprise. Once Roy made up his mind there was no stopping him.
Roy spoke up again. "We're making our move now because now is our best chance of success."
Liar…Riza snarled mentally. Liar…why don't you just tell them all the real reason? Dammit, she never wanted this…she never wanted to be something the colonel had to protect…
"It's a pretty simple plan," Roy continued. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes did some research and found out that once or twice a month, President Bradley falls off the radar. Even his own secretaries don't seem to knew where it is he vanishes off to." His lips curved upwards in a derisive smirk. "It took Hughes three days to track him down."
Hughes nodded but still didn't say anything. That only made Riza more apprehensive: was Roy's plan that dangerous that Hughes was worried?
"There's an old prison on the outskirts of the city. It hasn't been used since before the Rebellion, probably because there were a lot of complaints of prisoner abuse circulating out of that place. What with the war in Ishbal, the last thing the higher-ups wanted was another scandal, so they closed it down. We have reason to believe it's being used as another laboratory directed towards creating the Philosopher's Stone. You know, along the lines of Laboratory 5."
"So the president is going there every month to check on the research…" Falman said slowly.
"Most of the top research facilities for these creatures are in the city," Roy nodded, "presumably so that Bradley can get to them without causing too much suspicion. It would look kind of strange if he was traveling out of the city without the usual billion-man escort every month, don't you think?"
"The nerve of these villains, using our beloved city as a tool in their hideous plot!" Armstrong thundered.
Roy rolled his eyes. "Take it easy. If everything goes the way I've planned, they won't be using Central much longer. Now here's the deal.
"Armstrong: you, Breida, and Falman will stay here. Act like it's just a normal day, but keep your ears and eyes open. If you hear any sign that the higher-ups have gotten wind of something, get in touch with Fury. He'll be in touch with Hughes via radio.
"Hughes, you already know your role: you, Havoc, and Riza will be stationed around the building. If any of you see anyone--other homunculi, other soldiers, anyone--heading towards the building, make sure Hughes knows. Then the two of you hold them off just long enough so that Hughes can reach the power box. It's right next to the building, won't take him more then five seconds to reach. Once the lights go off, I'll know to get out of there. But," and here he gave both Riza and Havoc a stern frown, "like I said, it should only take Hughes a few seconds. Neither one of you is to try and stop whoever's coming, got me? Hold them for a second or two, and then back off. I don't want any casualties on our side. Any questions?"
Riza looked around incredulously. Surely someone was going to say something--but no, everyone else was shaking their heads. Hot anger rushed through her. What was this? Yes, Roy was angry, yes, no one wanted to piss him off even further, fine--but they couldn't honestly agree to this!
Roy turned and started shuffling up papers. "Right, well, if no one's got any questions, then—"
"Colonel Mustang…" He turned back. Riza was on her feet. "Sir…according to this…plan…you'll be inside fighting against President Bradley…alone?"
"Yeah…" Roy hedged. A cowardly little part of him had hoped Riza would somehow miss that particular detail, but of course she'd picked it up first thing.
"So, if something goes wrong, who will be there to back you up?"
"Well, like I said, if Hughes cuts the power then I'll know—"
Her voice rose ever-so-slightly. "That isn't what I meant. Sir, if you're injured or…if you're alone in the building, and something goes wrong, how will anyone else know? Even if you stay in contact with Fury, it will take Hughes, Havoc, and myself several minutes to reach you. Anything could happen by then! Someone needs to be with you, as support."
"No."
"But sir—"
"Meeting's over. Tomorrow's the day—we're moving fast, so be prepared."
One by one, they filed out, muttering amongst themselves. Hughes was the last to leave, and as he headed out, he saw Riza still standing there, stiffly, and shook his head. He'd tried everything to convince Roy not to go through with this plan of his…or at least, not to go through with that particular part of this plan of his. It really was a stupid, risky thing to do, going in head first and without any immediate backup.
Plus, who was he trying to kid? He had to know Riza would spot the problem instantly and bring it up, and he had to know she'd never agree with it. But Roy was stubborn as always, and he refused to put anyone else in a dangerous position. He wasn't dumb (though he was sure acting like it lately); he knew what the chances of him walking into this, and being able to walk back out were. He wasn't about to subject anyone else to those weak odds…
But, just because he wanted to face Bradley by himself, didn't mean he was going to be able to so easily. After all, when was the last time Riza'd let the colonel do something dumb 'just because he wanted to'?
Roy was looking out the window, so he didn't notice at first that he wasn't alone. It wasn't until he turned around and saw her that he realized Riza was still there.
"Lieutenant…?"
She inhaled sharply. Roy noted that, although she stood rigid the way a soldier was supposed to, her hands were clenched by her sides. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"
"Uh…yeah, sure. Go ahead, Hawkeye."
"Sir, with all due respect…"- she took another deep breath- "you've lost your mind!"
Roy blinked. "…Alright…"
She sighed. "I apologize, Colonel Mustang, for overstepping my boundaries and speaking to you inappropriately." Her voice rose again, sounding more distressed then she realized. "But, sir, you can't honestly expect this plan to work!"
He looked at her, expressionless. "Can't I?"
"No!" The lieutenant closed her eyes briefly, struggling to get a hold on herself. But, when she looked at him again, the note of pleading was still coming through her eyes loud and clear. "Walking into a potentially fatal situation with no knowledge of what you're about to face…there could be other homunculi already there, or…sir, it's too risky! You could be seriously injured!"
"And you think having one more person there with me will honestly make any difference?"
"It would help. At least then, if you are injured, there will be someone else to keep fighting, to cover you…"
"Sorry, Hawkeye. But I've got to do things differently this time around."
"Why?!" It all rushed out of her; there was no controlling the words spilling out of her mouth. It was all she could do not to slap him. "Why do you have to do things differently? Why do you have to do this at all?"
He opened his mouth, to answer or to yell, but she kept speaking. Her voice and her gaze both dropped. "It's…because of me, isn't it, sir? Because of what happened earlier…"
Roy's throat closed up, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. "Lieutenant…it's not…"
"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes informed me," she said softly. "He told me that the homunculi are still targeting me. Sir, I'm not afraid or…you don't need to rush into anything." Again, her tone became pleading; again, Roy found himself wanting to break down and tell her everything, but couldn't…
"Sir, please. I understand you want to protect those under you, but there's no need in this case. I'll be careful…I'll be fine."
Riza, I know…I know you're not afraid, I know that! But I am afraid, dammit!
"I won't allow myself to be a distraction to you."
A distraction? But you're not…
He finally found a shred or two of his voice. "Listen, Hawkeye, one of my subordinates has been threatened. I'm not about to take that lying down."
Yes, because that's all it is…that's all you are…a subordinate, right? Goddamn.
"I've done more planning then you give me credit for. I've known about Bradley going to the prison for a while now—it isn't as though I decided all this last second. Hughes and I've been mulling over what to do with this information for weeks…" He paused. "The incident with Greed has sped up our schedule. We're moving earlier then expected. That's all that's changed."
"But that's a lot to change, Colonel!"
Even if I told you why I have to do this, you wouldn't understand…! You wouldn't understand if I told you—maybe it doesn't make sense. You and I aren't even…
Lieutenant Hawkeye shook her head. "Then at least allow someone to go with you!"
Roy knew what she was really saying. It had come down to it--in a way he had always known it would--and now his stomach clenched at the thought of what he had to say.
"Sir…" Riza began, "Sir…Second Lieutenant Havoc will be able to do what you assigned the two of us to do himself…so…." She looked him square in the eyes. "Colonel, I would like to be permitted to go alongside you as backup when you fight the president."
So…there it was. As long as she only hinted at it, he could pretend not to understand what she was saying, but now…
"Sir, please allow me to—"
"No." Said with his back to her, said coldly, said without even the slightest hint of emotion.
"Colonel…" She was getting desperate now, he could hear it in her voice.
"I said no!"
Don't ask me…
"Colonel, I—"
After everything, you can't ask me…
"Colonel Mustang!"
With sudden violence the colonel smashed his fist into the wall. It struck him as odd that it did not hurt.
"I said no, Hawkeye! Shit, since when are you such a glory hound that you can't be on the sidelines!"
Absolute silence met his outburst. Roy knew instantly that he had gone way, way too far. A quick look back at Hawkeye's expression only confirmed that sinking suspicion: fury, cold, hard, raging fury, was etched over her face. Her beautiful features were sunk into an infuriated glare.
"I would hope," Riza said in a voice that shook with anger, "that you knew that my concerns have nothing to do with glory. I would hope that you would know that I'm only concerned about your well-being." She turned on her heel to go.
Roy rubbed his forehead. "Hawkeye, wait," he said tiredly. "I know…I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."
She paused. Turned to look at him again. This time, she didn't even bother to hide the worry in her voice. "Colonel, I just want to…"
"I know." He smiled, weary. "I was hoping you'd get mad enough to drop it, because I don't want anyone to get hurt needlessly. Not because of me."
She couldn't help but smile slightly. "I understand, Colonel. But protecting you has always been my job." Another pause. Roy threw up his hands.
"Guess I can't escape it." He rubbed his eyes. "You really want to come with me."
She nodded, and without a second of hesitation said, "Yes sir."
"But, Hawkeye…it's going to be pretty…you know…rough."
"Ah…that's why I want to go with you, sir."
Doesn't anything scare this girl??
Unfortunately for Roy, he was running out of ideas. He couldn't scare her into not going, he couldn't reason with her into not going…so what exactly was he supposed to say? 'Sure, why not, come along for the ride?' No way in hell.
Maybe it was dumb and over-protective and all that crap…maybe it was pointless to try and protect someone already in the military; after all, what was he gonna do next time she received an order to ship out to some battlefield somewhere?
But Roy refused to put her in harm's way unnecessarily. He would not--he could not. What was the point in reasoning it away? It'd remain a truth no matter what. Her job might have been to guard his back, but that didn't mean she had to risk her life for him when it wasn't absolutely vital that she do so. Funny, how crazed being head-over-heels for her made things…
Only, how exactly was he supposed to tell Riza all that?
He eyed her. She was looking at him expectantly. Waiting. Showing no signs of giving in.
Dammit.
He could always just order her to follow his plan as it was, she'd have to listen to him then…but…he had a sneaking suspicion he'd feel even crappier if he resorted to that. He had to say something, though, didn't he? Even if all he could think to say left him stalling uselessly.
"Tell you what, Hawkeye. I'll think about it and let you know."
She stared at him. "But, sir, if this is all taking place tomorrow—" she started to protest.
"Relax, Hawkeye. I promise I'll decide in time to let you know. Now, why don't you go home and get some rest." It wasn't a request.
Riza started to argue with him, but thought the better of it and saluted, however grudgingly. "Understood, sir." She stalked out, not looking any happier then she had before the conversation.
Roy sank down into his chair. All of a sudden, he wanted a drink very, very badly.
Well, Roy thought about it. And thought about it. And thought about it some more. He wasn't sure what everyone else was doing during this last, long night before all hell broke loose, but he, for one, was tossing and turning in bed: questioning, worrying, wondering. At this rate, he'd be lucky if he could even stand tomorrow, much less fight a homunculus.
The lieutenant was just that—his lieutenant—his protector—she stood by him and fought for his goals, and he had no right to deny her that task now, when they were so close to the end…
But everything in his being wanted to see her out of harm's way, protected from this chaos…
She didn't want his protection, didn't think she needed it—but, oh! after that incident with Greed! How could he—how could she? —pretend nothing had changed since then? Everything had changed since then. Now Roy knew how much he needed her by him, needed her safe.
A fool's desire…a pipedream…Riza…
The past week had dragged on forever and a day. So why was it that now, when what Roy wanted most was nothing more then an extra hour to figure things out, time chose to speed up faster then he previously thought possible? It all came at him in a rush. Boom, he was meeting with his soldiers. Boom, he was going over last-minute details, letting his team grasp the idea that this was all happening. Boom, he was leaving Headquarters with everyone falling neatly into their places. Boom, he was standing a few blocks from the old prison, alone—well, not quite alone…
"Colonel Mustang, I still await my orders…?"
Roy turned and looked at her, gritting his teeth. The day was cloudy, cold, gloomy. As gloomy as it had been all week. His lieutenant—loyal, faithful…--stood there, watching him.
Riza wasn't going to be thrilled with this, but what could he do? It was the best he could come up with under the circumstances.
"Lieutenant…you're to wait here."
"Sir—?!"
He spoke over her objections, his tone firm and unwavering. "Hear me out here, Hawkeye. I'm going on ahead. Hopefully, Bradley'll underestimate me when he realizes I've come alone. After—wait, just listen—after twenty minutes, you have my permission to come in after me."
"But why…"
"Look, Hughes looked into all this and discovered that, despite what you'd think, the prison isn't all that heavily guarded. The more soldiers they have watching over the place, the more chances for someone to squeal, and the homunculi don't want that happening. The president's being so close to the building is protection enough for them: there's no denying how strong Bradley is."
"Which means you'll need help defeating—"
"Which means it'll boil down to just me and him. The way I always planned for it to be."
Hawkeye saw Mustang's eyes grow hard, and distant. Despite everything, a shiver ran down her back.
"I need to be able to handle him on my own," he said quietly. "Guns didn't work against Greed, and they won't work against Bradley. I'm the only one that will fight the homunculus Pride."
"Sir—"
"But as my subordinate…" Colonel Mustang gave her a surprisingly soft smile. "As my right-hand woman, you do have the right to continue to guard my back. After twenty minutes, any other soldiers that might have been alerted will have had the chance to arrive from HQ. I can't handle both them and Bradley. That's where you come in.
"Protect my back the way you've always done, Lieutenant. I'll trust you to keep other soldiers away. I'll trust you to keep me safe."
Lieutenant Hawkeye opened her mouth to argue, but then gave up and nodded. Obviously, she wasn't going to get a better deal then this.
(I'll trust you to keep me safe…
Could she stand to wait twenty minutes before she was able to help?)
"Right, " Roy said awkwardly. What exactly was he supposed to say to her now?
Riza watched her commanding officer fumble around for words. She felt a mixture of fear (fear for him, for what he was about to do) and acceptance, because she knew that there was nothing she could do now but hope that when she arrived, Bradley would be losing ground. Hope the colonel was right in suspecting there would be few guards to deal with. Hope that twenty minutes wouldn't linger.
"I'd better get going."
Colonel Mustang took a step, but paused. Riza's brows furrowed as she noticed a strange stiffness spread through him. Her instincts were sending off alarm bells again, warning her that she wasn't going to like what he was about to say.
"Listen, Hawkeye…" Her eyes darted to his face, his tone of voice scaring her more then he could ever know. It sounded so aloof, so stiff, so…final. So very much like a goodbye…
"Look, Hughes might outrank you, but he's not under my jurisdiction, so…"
Sick dread enveloped her…she tried to ignore what she knew he was saying.
He hesitated for a split-second, and then shook his head. "I mean, you're next in command after me. So, if it comes to that…"
"It won't." Her voice was so firm, but inside, she was screaming.
Don't tell me that! I'm not ready for it! I never will be!
He smiled. "I know it won't."
Riza tried to catch his eyes, desperately…she tried to tell him with her own that it wouldn't end that way…but his face was tilted away from her. He was pushing himself away, again. Again and again and again…
Why do you do that? Why can't you let me shoulder half your burden?
Roy was walking away from her now, looking forward like his life depended on not looking back. Which, he thought with a bitter laugh, was the truth—if he looked back, if he saw her face, he knew he'd scream.
Riza had an urge to run after him, grab him, force him to stop and look her in the eyes. But, she couldn't…even for love, she couldn't break the code of following orders she'd practiced for years and years. She could only stand there, watching, knowing in her heart and in her soul that he was not wholly planning on coming back.
And then, as she stood there and watched, the panic began to morph into something else. Something that felt a lot like—a lot like anger.
(Hughes's worried face flashed into her mind; she thought with increasing fury of how upset she knew he must have been, listening to Roy's plan without being able to save his closest friend from this crazy form of suicide he was seemingly so bent on.)
Riza wondered about this new feeling inside of her; a minute ago, she'd felt only fear, but now…but now…but now, she was pissed! How dare he! How dare that selfish, self-centered, egotistical bastard of a colonel willingly walk into an almost-certain-to-be-fatal situation! Did he think she was so strong she could ever even hope to survive his death? Did he think it was only his life he was throwing away?
"Colonel!" Roy stopped, despite himself. He didn't turn to face her, so Hawkeye spoke to his back. "Wait a second, Colonel Mustang."
The lieutenant gave him a salute he couldn't see. "Please try and hurry back. You still have paperwork back at Headquarters that needs to be finished." The slightest tremble to her words said everything else.
Come back. You have to. You cannot vanish like this, not right now…you have to come back, Colonel. Please. I have to keep you safe.
Roy tried to keep going. Really, he did. But his feet turned around of their own accord and before he knew it, he was standing in front of her again, shoving the rarely-used gun he usually wore at his side and forgot about into her hands. She stared at it and blinked.
"S-Sir…?"
"You know how it is, Hawkeye," Mustang said, rolling his eyes in mock-aggravation. '"All army personnel have to carry their issued fire-arm', even the alchemists. A waste of a gun, if you ask me. When was the last time I used the damn thing? It's only gonna get in the way, so…so hold on to it for me until I get back, ok?"
He paused. "And, uh…command's a bitch if you loose your damn gun, so just…just be careful with it until I come back." He smiled and began, once again, to walk away.
Riza's heart was thumping so wildly in her chest she couldn't breathe properly. In his own, awkward way, Roy had promised her he'd…
She stared down at the gun in her hands, its parts shiny…unused. It was too clean to have ever been fired much; although Riza took excellent care of her weapons, the dirt and gunpowder never completely washed away. But Roy's was still in perfect condition…
She swallowed. Her stomach twisted in a way it never had before. There was a great pressure crushing down on her lungs, a huge rock settling in on her windpipe…
She was suddenly certain she would never see Roy again.
"Colonel!"
He paused for just a second…she saw his shoulders jerk slightly…then he turned the corner…and was gone.
EDIT August ?, 2008: Funniest thing about not having summer classes is that you have no real reason to remember what the date is...Am actually sort of satisfied with how this chapter reads now. Imagine that.