Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. But I would like to own Tim Rozon. Two words: Yum, yum. I also don't own the song "Everything's dust (what I know)" by Jake Epstein from Degrassi. It's featured in the episode, "Rock 'N Roll High School."

Chapter 9: I don't know if you'll forgive me

I sat there quietly, listening as the song pulsed through my head. It had been done before. It was a great song… A cover, but I wanted this to mean something. The words had meaning, and if this time spent with him didn't do anything, then the song sure would.

"You okay, Jude?" Kwest asked her, taking a drink of his coffee.

I looked around the coffee shop and then looked at him. "I'm alright…"

"You're not, I can tell. What's wrong?"

"I hate myself."

"Why?"

"For what I said."

"Jude, don't…"

"Please, listen. I hate that I was so stupid; I want you to be my boyfriend. What I said didn't mean anything, and you have to know that."

He looked down at his coffee. "Jude, stop. We aren't meant to be, it's pretty obvious by know. Tommy is obviously coming back into your life."

"He's just my producer, nothing more."

"He broke up with Eden. You want to know why? You. He wants you back, he really likes you, Jude."

"But I don't care about him like that anymore, Kwest. I care about you."

"Sorry, but this isn't something we're supposed to do. I just have that feeling."

"Kwest…"

"Sorry, Jude, I'm out." He got up and left the coffee shop.

"Tommy, I have a new song that I want to record," I told Tommy the next day at the studio.

"Another brain child?" He replied.

"Actually, it's a cover."

"A cover? Jude, are you serious?"

"Yes, just give it a chance, and if you hate it, we'll dispose of it. Please, Tommy?"

"Okay, let's get to work."

I positioned myself in front of the microphone and nodded to Tommy and Kwest.

I don't know if you'll forgive me

For being so blind

To how you felt

Don't ask me why I couldn't see it

That might take me years to figure out

And that's not something I know much about

But there's only one way to find out

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What I know is that I've hurt you, oh

What I know is that I suck

And what I know is that I'm sorry

What I know is that I'm a loser, yeah

What I know is I screwed up

And then I never earned your trust

And what I know is that everything I touch just turns to dust

I took off the headphones and left the studio. I took deep breaths. "Okay, calm yourself. He probably understood what you were talking about. Just calm down." I was really trying to hold back tears. I wanted him to know how I felt.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Please be Kwest, I mentally prayed. I turned around and saw Tommy standing there.

He locked me in a hug. "Jude, I understand it."

"Tommy, it's not about y-" I was cut off by his lips on mine. I had felt them so many times before but I had meant it all the other times, this time meant nothing.

"Yeah, you sure like me, Jude," Kwest said, entering the lobby. He shook his head and left G Major.

I shot an angry look towards Tommy. "What the hell, Tommy?"

"What?"

"That wasn't about you! That was about Kwest! I care about him! You and I are over forever! And I'm sorry about that but I like Kwest! You ruin everything!"

"Sorry, Jude, I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. But, I think… I think I might love him."

AN: That's a tough confession, trust me. Anyways, R&R!