Jim gripped the handle of his suitcase stronger in his sweaty palms. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door.

"Jim!" He heard his name called in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

His smile was weak for the receptionist. "Just grabbing some stuff that I forgot." he replied, then opening one of his drawers and unlocking the suitcase, putting a few things in.

"Hey, when's your plane?" Pam asked.

He quickly glanced up at the clock before continuing his packing, delaying his reply. "Two hours."

"Where are you leaving from?"

"Downtown." His voice wasn't like it usually was. It was dull, monotone. Not a hint of anything else.

"You'd think someone about to do the most exciting thing in his life would be a bit more...well, excited." She continued.

"Yeah, I was going to say the same about you." Again, he cringed. His mouth had succeeded in always remaining closed before. After all, isn't this why he hated his life right now? Because he couldn't speak up? Well then why couldn't it stop working now?

"Excuse me?" She sounded hurt, though he wouldn't look at her.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly.

"No your not."

That was it. He stood straight up and looked over at her. "No, you're right. I'm not."

Her forehead lost all of it's wrinkles. Instead, she now had a straight face, her eyes betraying her hiding her inner fear. "...What?"

He shook his head, shutting his suitcase and heading out. "Nothing. Forget it."

But she ran after him. What did he mean? "Jim! Jim stop! Wait! Jim!" After her last scream, he did, but he didn't turn to face her. "Yeah, Beesley?"

"What has been going on with you lately? The truth. What's wrong with you?"

And now he had to look. Had to, because he wasn't sure if he could say the words. Could she just read them out of his eyes? Weren't they obvious enough?

"You already know."

"No, I don't! Tell me."

"You say this, yet you don't want me to. You don't want to really know."

"I do, Jim! Just tell me!"

He shook his head. No, he wouldn't tell her. He'd hold out. It was too late anyway. What could be done now?

"Jim, please!" She was pleading now. Maybe she did want to know. Maybe she was looking for an escape. Maybe he should tell her once and for all. After all, how would it hurt him? He was leaving in two hours, gone for two weeks. Maybe more. Maybe forever.

So he grabbed her arm, pulled her close. And he hesitated. Looking in her eyes made him stop. It was wrong. It felt right, but it was wrong. "I cant." He said, biting the inside of his lip.

"Cant what?"

He closed his eyes. "You already know this. Why do you want me to say it? I can see it in your eyes - you know. You always have known. And now you beg be to tell you two days before your wedding."

Now she was biting her own lip, her eyes shifting.

"Pam...if you want me to stay here...I'll stay for good. You know what that means. You know I've been willing to for months. But you're going to be a bride in two days. You're marrying Roy. So there's nothing to really talk about."

"You're...you're right." She finally mumbled, seemingly surprised that they were having this conversation at all.

He nodded, and started to walk to the elevator.

"Can you just...say it?" She stumbled upon her words. Never had she pushed herself so far. Why was she pushing this? Why did she want to know?

Jim exhaled deeply. "Say what?"

"If I'm supposed to know all these things...well you should at least know what I'm talking about here. Say it."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just want you to."

"Want me to do what, Pam? To tell you that I love you? That I have secretly adore you and always have? That I love the way you play solitaire on mute, only to put the volume up when a deck goes to the corner so you can hear that sound...that...weird sound...do it."

She grinned. "Ditditditditditditditditdit." her tongue clicked quickly against the roof of her mouth.

"Yeah...that sound. And how you dig the fruit up from the bottom of your berry yogurt so it's evenly distributed...without it going over the rim. I tried, I cant do it. Or how your perfect lunch is chips and a soda...and you can actually be filled with that. Or how you actually keep jelly beans on your desk, always stocked with the black ones sorted out of it, ever since I told you about how jelly beans were my favorite candy. Is that what you want me to tell you?"

Her eyes were filled with tears now as she stared back at him.

"If you're done...I got to go."

She watched him walk away, watched the doors of the elevator open, and then swallow him inside. And then with a cry, she let go of everything. Let go of her guard, her wall of protection, her cares.

And she shouted out.

"Jim!"

His finger quickly jabbed the open door button. "Yeah?" He asked, his brow furrowed.

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"Pam?" He asked.

She licked her lips, trying to get it out, knowing if she didn't say it now, she'd lose everything.

"Jim..."

He waited, his grip on his bag getting lighter. 'Say it, Pam. You can do it.' He silently willed.

She dug in her cardigan sweater and produced a DVD, showing him.

"What's that?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Uh...that camera man that was in a few days ago...he gave me this. It's...you."

"Me?" Jim knew what she was talking about, but he couldn't believe it. The camera man hadn't...

Her eyes finally met his. She breathed in deep. This was it. Just say it. Let go of that safety that you always cling to. Just let go. Take the jump. For once in your life, take a worth while risk.. Jim wouldn't let you fall. You had the DVD in your hands to prove it.

Her mouth opened, her hand slowly reached out.

"Stay."

The suitcase hit the floor.

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--End