A.N: So very sorry about the delay. I had written this and then decided it wasn't quite realistic enough so I rewrote it, from the beginning. Scrapped the whole 10 pages. This one ended up being like 13 handwritten. Not bad. Umm I'm thinking I might put the other one up as well anyway because I did like it but I haven't decided on that yet. I've got another Snippet done and I'm working on 2 others so hopefully the next delay won't be as long but who knows. I've got less then a month till my thesis is due, scary thought, and that's taking a lot of my time. Anyway enjoy this and I hope to be posting again soon.
About four days after Tommy returned from his mission he'd resumed all of his usual activities, including his daily run. He'd so far managed to avoid explaining where it was he had gone, on his date the night before with Kimberly they'd discussed much more pleasant things, but he had the feeling his luck was running out.
Today he decided to run to Jason and Kim's dojo/gymnastics center. He knew the girls were going to be there after school and he hadn't gotten much of a chance to see them since he'd gotten back. And he wanted to check out one of Jason's classes. He'd been asked to consider the possibility of helping teach at some point but he wanted to watch the school in action before he agreed. Though it wouldn't be fair to make his decision just yet considering the center had only opened two weeks before.
So after the requisite half hour, he had to stay once classes let out so he'd be available for student questions, he changed into his running clothes and, after putting his briefcase and clothes into his jeep and making sure his keys were in the pocket of his shorts and not inside the jeep, he set off for downtown Reefside. As he ran he considered how he would present his story, assuming they asked him. Of course the first thing he would insist on would be that Amanda and Taylor not be around. They did not have to hear this story.
When he got to the center he found Jason teaching a class, Kim filing paperwork and the girls nowhere in sight. He stretched out again and then leaned against Kim's office door. He just watched her in silence for a minute, taking the time to just appreciate what he'd never expected to have in his life again. While he just stood there watching her she turned to get something and gasped. As soon as she recognized him, however, warmth lit her eyes.
"Hey," she said, crossing over to him. She went to give him a hug and realized he was all sweaty. Instead she leaned up and gave him a kiss, careful to keep away from him. When he gave her a wounded look she shrugged. "Your all sweaty. I just took a shower after my last class."
"Fair enough. Can I come in?"
"You could, but I'm about to go out and straighten up the equipment we were using today."
"Okay. I'll ummm . . . lay on the mats and watch you." He grinned at her. "I might get the equipment all sweaty and I'm sure you already cleaned it."
She swatted him. "No, I didn't but you can't help anyway. You don't know where it goes. And it has to go where it belongs, otherwise somebody will grab the wrong one tomorrow and then all hell would break loose."
Tommy looked at her skeptically but followed her to the workout room and stayed out of the way as she started tidying up. "So where are the girls?" He asked while trying to find somewhere to lean that wasn't covered in mirrors.
"Kira took them to the craft store. They have some sort of project that requires building things and since Jase and I are both absolutely helpless on that front she offered to help out."
"Oh." Tommy deflated a bit at hearing it wasn't likely he would get to see the girls today but suddenly perked back up. "So that means you're all alone?"
"Except Jason who's upstairs with a bunch of kids, yeah."
"What do you say to a match?"
She blinked at him. "What?"
He grinned. "Out of practice? I asked if you wanna spar. I feel up for a match at the minute."
"No. Crazy person. I told you I just took a shower. Why don't you go see if Jason is up for putting on a demonstration for his kiddies."
"Cause I wanna spar with you, not Jason."
"Tomorrow. I won't shower after my last class. We can spar then." She finished what she was doing and came over to settle near him on the floor. He dropped onto the floor in front of her cross-legged, which pulled the hem of his shorts far enough up his thigh to expose the scar he'd gotten on his mission. She stared at it a minute and then reached out to trace it gently. There was no escaping the fact that it was a very new scar, it was still very pink and still had the slightly puckered appearance that comes when two pieces of flesh knit back together. There was additionally no escape from the obvious fact that it had been a very deep, nasty wound. She looked at him with horror in her eyes. "Where did you get this Tommy? What happened?"
He looked away, unable to see the horror in her eyes even if it was for him and not at him. He opened his mouth to answer but closed it again without saying a word. Every thing he'd planned to say on his run over was wiped from his mind by the feel of her hand on his thigh. He swallowed hard and, without taking his eyes off their reflections, specifically off the link between them in the form of her hand on his leg, he gave her part of the answer she was looking for. "I got hit with a spear." He promptly hissed in pain as she dug her fingers into his leg in surprise.
"A spear? How in the hell did you get hit with a spear?" Her astonishment was evident in her voice.
Tommy was about to answer but at that moment they both heard the clattering that heralded Jason's class coming down from the second level. "Not here," he said instead. "Can we go to your office?"
Kim nodded, not sure she could trust her voice further, and rose to lead the way. Tommy followed, his stomach twisting in knots at the cold, impassive front she was putting forth at the moment. He'd known it wouldn't be easy to tell her but he wasn't expecting this coldness. Though he hadn't actually told her what happened yet. She still had time to explode like the volcano her Pterodactyl Zord had called home.
They settled into her office, Tommy making sure the door was firmly shut before dropping into one corner of the sofa. Kim curled up in the armchair at the furthest corner from the one in which Tommy sat. This action made the knots in Tommy's stomach tighten and his heart clench. It was obvious she was withholding judgment on him, and, he couldn't help but think, on them, until she'd heard his story.
'I am absolutely going to kill Andros if this breaks us up.' Tommy thought, gazing at Kim's slightly pale face. He'd survived once when she left him, barely, but he didn't think he was strong enough to do so again. The obligations and responsibilities that had kept him going the last time were gone and he was terrified that he was going to end up needing them again, but this time they wouldn't be there. He took a deep breath and started, this time to give her the full story.
"I got hit with the spear on that mission I went on with Andros last week. Basically we went to this planet, I forget the name of it, out in the middle of nowhere. The person who lived there had gotten his hands on the World gems, a set of gems that legendarily have great power. Power Andros thinks can be used to tap into the Morphin' Grid. Nex, the person who had them, was not, however, the type of person you want to have that kind of power. So we, well I, broke into his compound and relieved him of the temptation to use them for evil. Unfortunately he had them really well guarded and I got hit by one of his traps right before Andros teleported me out."
"If he could teleport you out then why didn't he just go ahead and pull the damn gems out without putting you in any danger?" Kim's voice, while low, vibrated with rage.
"He said that they're signal wasn't strong enough for him to get a lock on."
"And you believed him?" Icy sarcasm had joined the rage.
"Well, yeah. Why would he go to all the trouble of getting highly confidential items from KO-35, picking me up from Earth and inserting me into Nex's compound if he could just pull them out himself?"
"Because he was bored? I don't know why he did it, but if it's powerful enough to fuel a morpher don't you think it would be powerful enough for him to get a lock on without endangering your life?"
Tommy wasn't sure why she seemed to be focusing on Andros but he was willing to go with it if it spared him the brunt of her anger. "Maybe it's because there were five of them. The signals were so disparate he needed one very strong one to lock onto." Okay maybe he wasn't totally going with it but then it didn't seem completely fair to just blame Andros. Surely he'd had a good reason . . . right? To his delight she did actually seem to consider this for a minute.
"I suppose that could be true" she said finally, slowly. "But that doesn't change anything," she snapped just as he started to relax. "Why did he have to call you? Why is it always you? You get picked to be the first evil Ranger. You get picked as the one to be the first White ranger, which I'll admit was great at the time since there's really no one any of us would have preferred but still. And then you're the only one of the original team who has to be forced into retirement because otherwise the Power was gonna just keep picking you. But even that wasn't enough to get you away from it. Andros finds trouble on the moon and who's the first person he calls? You. And then you get to put together the mission. And then you had to go and create Powers. And then bond with one of the damn things yourself so that instead of just being a mentor you've now become a ranger as well, again. And then, just when it seems like you might be done and ready to settle down Andros calls again. Why you? Why does he always have to call you?"
"Because I'm first on speed dial?" Tommy offered feebly.
Kim glared at him. "Don't mess with me Thomas James Oliver. Why don't you try telling me exactly why it was he picked you?"
"Because of the gift from my Dino Gem. I can go invisible; I wasn't seen by the security cameras because of that. It made me perfect for sneaking in."
"And why in hell did you agree to this madness?"
"Because I was the only choice. I was the only one who had a serious chance of making it out alive. I wasn't in any real danger until the very end because I could go invisible. The only other person who had even a chance of doing as well would have been Trent with his chameleon gift, but I had an additional layer of protection. I had an active morpher. Honestly I don't want to know the damage that spear would have done if I hadn't been in morph at the time. That's why I agreed, why I went on this little trip, I was the best, hell the only chose for the job."
"But it's always you" Kim protested. "Can you explain that?"
"No. I just seem to attract trouble. You attracted your fair share during your time on the team." Tommy immediately regretted going on the offensive as Kim's eyes darkened.
"And that has what to do with any of this? I'm the one who was actually able to give it up. Yeah at first I missed it a lot, I missed doing something tangible, making a difference in the world, but I was able to move on from that. I'm not the one who refuses to recognize that he's not a kid anymore." She was yelling at this point but didn't really care.
"Hey." Tommy was offended. "I can still pull it off. I may be old but I've still got it."
"But you don't have to. You can let the new one's have a chance to shine. We've had our time, now it's time to let someone else have theirs."
"Well maybe I don't want to give it up. Maybe I still love being able to go out and save the world on a semi-frequent basis."
"Then maybe we need to rethink this relationship," Kim said after a long pause. "As much as I still love you and as much as I want you in my life and that of our girls it's not going to work if you're still going to run off every time there's something to be done. As long as if given a choice you'll pick the Rangers over your family I don't think we can do this. It was one thing 10 years ago when we were the only choice Earth had, but we're not anymore. There are what, almost a hundred Rangers on Earth now? We are no longer Earth's only option. But as long as you think you are this," she motioned between the two of them, "isn't going to work. Think about that." With that she grabbed her purse and stalked out of the room.
Tommy just sat there in stunned silence for a while. The one thing he feared the most had come to pass. She had left him because of this and he had no idea what he was going to do about it. Other then kill Andros of course.
Tommy wasn't sure how long he sat there lost and bewildered in a sea of hurt and pain. All of his anger had fled the moment Kim walked out and he felt only the pain of her loss. When he finally regained enough of his senses he realized where he still was and standing he tried to ease the ache out of muscles gone still from sitting still for so long. He turned off all the lights and shut the door to Kim's office, but not before staring at a photo of her and the girls that hung on the wall by the light switch. He stood in the hallway for a moment and hearing footsteps overhead realized Jason was still around.
He almost started up the stairs to pour out his heartache on the shoulder of his best friend but after a moment he stopped. Jason was more then his best friend, he was Kim's surrogate brother and had helped her raised the girls for the last 10 years. The two of them were closer then he and Jason had ever been. There was no telling what she'd told him and he was in no mood for another rant about his choices tonight. With a sigh he turned away from the stairs and left the building. With a heavy heart he trudged up to the Cyberspace to see if Hayley would give him a ride back up to the school so he could get his jeep.
Jason stood at the window and watched Tommy walk away. He'd been about to go down and see if Tommy wanted to talk when he heard the front door open and close. Kim had called him close to an hour ago, not long after she left, near hysterics to tell him what had happened. Honestly he hurt for both of them and had told Kim he had no intention of picking sides. They had to work this out on their own. He'd listen but that's all he would do. He'd listen to both of them if Tommy decided he wanted to confide but he doubted that would happen. He knew Tommy probably thought he'd pick Kim's side and so he, Tommy that is, would likely avoid both of them.
Jason didn't think he could have picked a side even if he wanted to. He could see where both of them were coming from and he sympathized with each. Neither of them was in an enviable position right now, they were both incredibly stubborn and he didn't see either backing down from their chosen stance any time soon. But he was more worried about Tommy. Kim had the girls and the center to ground her and keep her going but Tommy was adrift. He had work but he'd told Jason one thing he liked about teaching was the sheer mechanical-ness. It was the same motions day in and day out, all one had to do was follow the lesson plan. He didn't have anything that was truly and uniquely his to focus on, to ground him. He didn't have anyone relying on him like he did before. He was alone now. Turning away from the window Jason grabbed his keys off the desk. He wasn't going to let Tommy drown himself in sorrow. He was going out there. Tonight.
Jason beat Tommy home since his truck was right there when Tommy had to get to the high school first. Since he had a key he went ahead and let himself in. Winters may be warmer in California but the nights are still pretty cold and Jason had no desire to freeze out on the porch in November when he could wait inside. He resisted the urge to poke around once inside and instead settled down in the living room to wait.
When Tommy got home some 15 minutes later he saw Jason's jeep parked in front of the house and light shining from the living room. He briefly considered ducking around to the secret entrance to the lab but then decided that would be the coward's way. There was no telling how long Jason would sit in his living room if he didn't go in and he couldn't hide out in his lab for the rest of his life. Though to be perfectly honest at the minute that seemed like a pretty good idea. If he hid out in the lab he didn't have to deal with the fact that he'd managed to screw things up with Kim, again.
He sat too long in his jeep trying to make up his mind and Jason appeared in the door of the house. He'd seen the headlights and when no one came to the door he'd decided to investigate and see what was up. With a sigh Tommy got out and grabbed his stuff. Since Jason knew he was home he might as well face the music. He was pretty sure he knew why Jason was there, he just didn't think he could deal with another person's anger because of the decisions he'd made.
Tommy pushed past Jason and was surprised not to see the anger he had anticipated but rather something he interpreted as pity. That pissed him off, just because he'd fucked up did not mean he needed to deal with the other man's pity. But as quickly as the anger came it was gone again. As he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge he acknowledged that he was worth pitying. He'd waited 10 years for a second chance and he'd blown it in less then a week. That had to be some sort of record. He turned and found Jason lounging against the doorway to the living room.
"Why are you here?" He asked quietly, making sure to avoid meeting Jason's eyes, he didn't need to see the pity in them again.
"To let you talk, rant, whatever; to keep you from withdrawing into yourself. 'Cause I know you bro, you will try to draw into your safe little shell and keep out the world. I couldn't do anything about it last time but I can this time and I'm not gonna let you do it."
"Why do you care?" Tommy turned to stare out the window. "You shouldn't care. I screwed up. I hurt her again. Hell we didn't' even really make it a week this time. We just had our first date a couple of days ago."
"You can't take all the blame this time bro. Kim is nearly just as much to blame. And she knows it. She called me, hysterical, because she gave you an ultimatum so she can't back down from it but she didn't want to. But she has a point don't you think?" Jason came up beside Tommy and laid a hand on his shoulder. "We're getting old bro. We gotta let the kids take over now while we still got enough to rescue them if needed. They've got to take over at some point, why not while we can still guide them?"
"I can't give it up man." Tommy hoped Jason wouldn't ask him to explain but it was obviously not his lucky day.
"And why not? Because you've been one longer then the rest of us? Because you feel like you still have to atone for being Earth's first Evil Ranger? Why can't you stop Tommy?"
Tommy wasn't quiet for a minute as he thought of exactly what he wanted to say. "I can't stop because, as pathetic as this sounds, it's all I have. It's the one thing I'm truly good at, the one things that's always there for me. All of you guys have done something with your lives but me, all I have is Rangering."
Jason was surprised by the conviction in Tommy's voice and was unsure how to respond to such blatant stupidity. For lack of anything better he decided to express that thought. "I really don't know what to say bro. That has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever said." He ignored the shocked look on Tommy's face and plowed on having managed to find the words to express what he was feeling. "You do have more in your life then Rangering. You've got friends, kids who need you, a woman who loves you and a good steady job. You have a Ph.D. They don't just hand those out so I know you've got to be more intelligent then what you're showing me right now. What more do you want bro?"
"To make a mark on the world."
"You do that every day when you go to work man. There is no better way to change the world then to mold the minds of the young. Everyday when you teach them, when you show them what's important, you're changing the world."
"Am I really? Or am I just telling them things they'll forget once their gone?"
"Both obviously. Think about your favorite teachers from school. You might not remember everything they taught you in class but you remember the life lessons they gave. And I've got no doubt that you are that kind of teacher. I hear the kids talking about you, you're making an impression, and you are making a difference."
Tommy was silent as he thought about this. Jason had started a quest for edible food to snack on when Tommy next spoke. "What about love?" I'm hopeless at it. I lost the best thing in my life once because of sheer stupidity and pigheadedness and now I'm about to do it again. Why shouldn't I dedicate myself to bring a Ranger? It doesn't leave me when I screw up."
"You shouldn't because unlike Kim when you get old it will leave you. When you can't go out and fight anymore you'll be even more miserable then you are now. I can't make this choice for you Tommy but think about this. You're 28. When you were 18 they told you to move on and live a new life, one that didn't include Rangering. But you're still doing it. Isn't it time to let a new group of kids have the adventures we had? Isn't it time for you to get that family I know you always wanted? How many times did you tell me when we were kids that you wanted a family? A family bound by blood and love? And now that it's in your reach you're going to give it up? That's not the Tommy Oliver I know?"
"What are you saying Jase?"
"Just think about what it is you really want and then go for it. But you have to make a choice." He indicated the frozen pizza on the counter. "And eat something while. I'm out-"
"Don't do." Tommy interrupted. "Let's just forget this for a while. I promise to think about it, but don't go."
"Okay, if you want me to I'll stay."
There was silence in the kitchen for a while that was eventually broken by a sports comment. From that point they were just two guys hanging out but Tommy held to his promise. Even as he and Jason made use of his frequently unused Plasma TV to watch whatever struck their fancy he was thinking about what Jason had said. Thinking and trying to come up with an answer to his dilemma. This would be a decision that would change his life. Once he finally made a decision.
2 days later he showed up at Jason and Kim's house. A bit nervous, actually a lot nervous, he rang the bell. It seemed to take an eternity before the door was opened. Fortunately it was not one of the twins that opened the door but Jason. He grinned at the nervous look on Tommy's face.
"What's up bro?"
"Is Kim here? I have to talk to her."
"Yeah, she's helping the girls with their homework. Geology is giving them all fits. I just stay far away. But I'll brave the insanity and get her for you."
"Thanks. Can you keep the girls away while we talk?"
Jason nodded. "But you have to help them with their science later. Lord knows I'm no good at it, neither is Kim. And wouldn't it be embarrassing if they failed science when their dad teaches it?"
Tommy glared at him and he laughed. So Tommy punched him lightly in the shoulder and pushed past him into the house. "Just get Kim would you."
When Kim came in she found Tommy leaning against the mantle staring at a picture of she and the girls. His left hand was buried in the pocket of his pants and from the muscles jumping beneath the skin she decided whatever he had hidden, and given the odd shape he'd definitely stashed something there, but whatever it was it was making him nervous. And as much as she wanted to rush to him, to hold him and tell him she was sorry she didn't, she couldn't. As much as she regretted the ultimatum she had given she had to stick to it. She had to many other things to consider now.
"What can I do for you?" she asked, wincing a bit herself at the coolness of her tone. Tommy didn't notice her wince, he was to busy fixing the frame he'd knocked over when he flinched.
"To talk, but if now's a bad time . . ."
"No, no. We can talk. What did you want to talk about?"
"Us. But first I wanted to give you something." He walked over and handed her the two metal cuffs he'd pulled out of his pocket. Kim stared at them in confusion for a moment before raising her head to look him in the eye.
"I don't understand. What are these?"
"Those," he took a deep breath. He hadn't expected to have to explain this part although he supposed it made sense considering when she'd left the team. "Those are my Zeonizers." Her eyes widened but he ignored that as he continued. "Those are my only operation morphers. I can still go Ninjetti occasionally, and of course I can go invisible but I can't give you the controls for those." He paused and she jumped in.
"You're choosing me." She whispered looking down at what she held and then back up at him with tears shimmering in her eyes.
Tommy smiled, a bit sadly. "Yes." He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I do choose you. I did a lot of thinking and this is what I want, it's what I have to do. You're right. It's time for me to really pass on the mantle. I do have other responsibilities now. Responsibilities that are, in their own way, just as important as being a Ranger. So I'm giving you those. That requires that you find out anytime I want to go on a mission. If I have to ask you for my morphers you'll know I've gone."
"I appreciate what your doing Tommy and I don't want to press my luck but are you sure about this?"
"Yes."
"And you don't resent me for making you choose?"
"No it-"
She cut him off before he could finish. "Because I don't want you to resent me. I understand the pull, the rush of being a Ranger, it's just . . . you could have died." She said the last part in a near whisper that he almost missed. He frowned, not sure he'd heard her correctly but saying it once appeared to give her strength. "You could have died Tommy and then what would have happened. Would I have ever known why, would I have ever known it had happened? And I wouldn't have gotten to say goodbye. I wouldn't have gotten to tell you that I loved you. It would have been over before it started and I would have been left with a million things unsaid." She sniffed, tears running down her face. "That's what motivated me, the fear that you could have died. I can't live with that. I can't really see myself living without you," her voice trailed off into silence.
Tommy had listened to her with a growing sense of realization and now he reached out and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and continued to cry quietly against his chest while he stood with his chin resting on the top of her head. Finally the tears slowed and the sobs wracking her body stopped. When he judged that she was calm enough to actually listen to him he began to speak quietly without letting go of her.
"I'm so sorry Beautiful. I know it was selfish of me not to do that, more so it was stupid, thoughtless and senseless of me not to tell you where I was going or what I was doing. I don't really have any reasons for why I didn't except that Andros didn't really give me time. But even then I could have at least called while I was driving to Shallow Cove. I'm sorry, really I am. I won't do it again. I can't do it again, not if you have my Zeonizers. I can't hold a stable morph for an extended period of time without them."
About those," Kim pulled away reluctantly and held out his Zeonizers. "I want you to hold onto them Tommy. I appreciate the gesture and what your giving them to me means but I'd feel better if you kept them. I don't have anywhere safe enough to keep powered morphers. And really I'd just feel better in general if I knew you had them if you needed them. I trust you to tell me if you're going away again. I don't need to keep these so you have to, I trust that you'll want to."
Tommy looked at her for a minute, probing her eyes for sincerity. Satisfied she was telling the truth about how she felt he took them and gave her a short kiss. "I'll definitely want to. I don't like fighting with you and I don't like watching you walk away from me and not knowing whether or not you'll be back."
"Me neither. Although I always seem to be the one walking away. But I don't like doing it. I hate not knowing if we'll get over whatever it is that's plaguing us."
"So are we good."
"We're good."
"Excellent." He wrapped an arm around her waist and steered her towards the door. "So I hear you and the girls are having some trouble with science homework. What do you say to a bit of help from a science teacher?"