Disclaimer: not mine.

A/N: I feel I need to explain this chapter b4 anyone reads it. I just wanted to explore more of Inuyasha's character – hence the shifting of point-of-view. I hope no one gets confused. Consider this as a 'filler' but still relevant on the story itself.

If what I did to this short chapter is bad, tell me so. Still, I hope you all enjoy this.

Chapter 11: Gambling a Second Chance

I feel like some virginal boy who just got laid.

Fool! I roll my eyes at my idiotic, almost perverse thoughts.

This huge, silly grin just wouldn't leave my damn face though. It was only a kiss; yet it is shaking my whole world in pleasurable rambles. Damn. What is it about Sango Meiyo that makes me feel this way? I shake my head to re-focus myself. I need to concentrate on the road or I would once again get involved in another car accident. I might lose the second chance I have.

Once again, Sesshoumaru's words haunt me.

"You're given a second chance. Use it wisely," he has said.

Such simple words yet full of wisdom. I may not like this arrogant brother of mine; but I am not blind to the intelligence he possesses. (The bastard does deserve to replace dad as the president of the Yuukans' company.)

I watch the outside surroundings as they fade into the night. My smile never fades. I think my face hurts. It has been pasted on me since I have left Sango's house.

Sango.

The name rolls of my tongue like honey. Such cliché, but it's the most sincere I could describe it. Sango's presence just humbles me, knowing myself as an overconfident and quite egoistic fool.

Surprise hits me hard when I register in my sight the familiar houses lining my parents' neighbourhood. I must have driven that fast to get here this fast! I am such a careless moron. It amazes me, though; I have arrived safe after being in a dream-like moment.

Like rewinding a movie, I replay the scene where I kiss Sango. On the lips even, in my entire brave persona! I want more, in all honesty. In a jiffy, I slowly see myself ravaging her lips like a wild demon. Demanding. Wanting. Ruffling her hair as each strand entangles in my fingers. I see myself tracing kisses down her throat to the opening of her shirt, down to her-

I halt there. It is not honourable to think of such dirty thoughts about a woman like her; especially if I am driving in the middle of the night. I cursed myself in my stupidity.

This only proves I could never deserve Sango in her refinement and grace. I could never be the man to make her happy. I could never be the person to fulfill her desires and needs.

Shit. Sentimental fool! What the hell is wrong with me now?

I let the small grumble escape my lips while I park my car in the driveway.

The smile never leaves. Despite of all the things I could never be, somehow in my mind, I believe I could still win Sango's affection.

This proclamation overwhelms me. I am happy, truly happy. Is this all Sango's doing? How long have I known her? Two months, and yet I feel like she has been a part of me. It feels like she has helped me mould my new personality – the kind that sees the future in a different way. For that, I am truly glad.

I whistle out loud as I slowly trace the path leading to the house. A maid greets me in her usual formal way. I surprise her with a bear hug.

"Good evening to you too, Shura," I greet her in my most cheerful mood upon releasing her. She looks stunned. Who wouldn't? I usually snarl at them. But this time, it is different. I am the new Inuyasha! "Where are mom and dad?"

"They're in the drawing room, sir, I believe," she answers me, still maintaining a formal tone; but this time her body seems relaxed in my presence.

"Thanks, Shura," I give her a salute, being really childish at the moment. Love really makes a person all giddy. "Mommm! Daaaaaddd!" I bellow. Isn't it funny I'm being my usual loud self, but with a spoonful of cheeriness? That happens almost rarely.

"I'm so happy!" I exclaim. "So happy. The world is so colourful in my eyes right now. The sun shines brightly even in night. The stars twinkle in broad daylight. I am not afraid to say that I am…" I take a little pause to breathe in deeply. "I am in love with Sss…"

The smile fades.

My mom stands up from the sofa. "Kagome's here, Inuyasha," she says.

"Ka-gome?" I ask as she greets me with her sweet smile. "Of course, I'm in love with Kagome…" Now, why do I have to say that? I am lying through my teeth. Same old fool.

You're given a second chance. Use it wisely.

Damn. Sesshoumaru's words are haunting me again.

"Well, we'll leave the two of you for now," mom tells me, dragging dad with her. Kagome gives them a good night kiss.

Kagome turns to me with a serious expression. "We need to talk, Inuyasha."

I nod. She has been gone for a month. During that duration, something has happened that concerns Sango, and Kagome as well. I must tell her. "I know. I also have something to say."

Kagome sits down. "Sit, Inuyasha," she pads the seat beside her. I oblige. I always do for some strange reason. Sometimes, in my idiosyncrasy way of thinking, I think a spell has been placed upon the purple-beaded necklace she has given me. Ever since she got me that piece of accessory, almost always I follow what she says.

She holds my hand in an intimate gesture. I let her begin the conversation.

"I know I've been gone for a month. I didn't tell anyone, especially you, where I was going. I need it for myself that's why I kept it a secret," she tells me. I listen intently. For the first time in our relationship, I'm all ears to what she has to say. No arguing, no interrupting. "I actually went to a spiritual retreat. I needed it to clear my mind of disturbing thoughts, and my heart of disturbing feelings, doubts and confusion. One of the things I talked to my retreat leader is our relationship."

She is also aware of the cracks and flaws in our relationship. Kagome is a smart woman.

"I've always been striving for a perfect relationship with you, Inuyasha. I always have this idea of how it will work out for the two of us. I now realized that it's not always like that," she looks down on her lap, unable to meet my eyes. Is she breaking things between the two of us? Somehow, I do not know how to respond to it. Should I be relieved I will not be the one causing heartache tonight?

She starts talking once again. "Also, I told my retreat counsellor about my problems with Kikyou," it comes out as a whisper.

The 'keh' is itching to come out from my mouth. I restrain it. (Ever since Kagome and I started dating, she always had issues with my previous relationship.) Kikyou is my first love, and she still holds a piece of my heart. I guess she will always be inside of me, whether I want to get rid of or not. Kikyou has helped me, in a way, to be the person I am.

"My jealousy over Kikyou is something that can't fade," Kagome admits. "I know how important she is to you, Inuyasha," her voice starts quavering. "She's your childhood sweetheart and first love. I cannot change that; and I accept it," she gives me a smile as she squeezed my hand.

My eyes narrow a bit. What is Kagome trying to say to me? These are the times I wish I were as smart as Sesshoumaru for being quick-minded. I am too slow in reading between the lines.

"Inuyasha, I'm ready," she suddenly announces. Huh? Ready for what? As if reading my mind, she fingers the engagement ring on her finger. "I was confused. I was in doubts. I was unsure. But this time, I am certain." She leans forward. Her smell is still intoxicating, though. "Let's set the date to our wedding," she whispers in my ear.

My throat suddenly becomes dry. The image of sparkling brown eyes flashes in my eyes.

Sango…

"I was hesitant before, Inuyasha. But now, I'm ready for our future together," Kagome snaps me back to reality. She kisses me on the cheek.

Suddenly all the words I am about to divulge in her vanish. Just when I am about to cut the thread binding us together, it refuses to break. I am still tied to my old life of lies and blindness.

You're given a second chance. Use it wisely.

Fuck, Sesshoumaru. You think it's as easy as how it sounds? You try it, brother; and then maybe you can tell me how to do things 'wisely'.

I wrap an arm around Kagome. She rests her head on my shoulder. It's a good thing she can't see my face. If she does, she'd see how uncertain my expression has become.

"Okay," I say it meekly. Suddenly I feel all the exhaustion of the day grow in my limbs.

"You're going to tell me something, Inuyasha?" she inquires, head still on my shoulder.

"It's not important now," I tell her.

But it is important, I argue to myself. It is important because it deals with my life, my future, and my second chance.

Yet here I am, doing nothing to fix everything.

I am hurting three people in my passiveness.

I am hurting Kagome for being untruthful. I am hurting her because she deserves a better man. I am hurting her because I am deceiving her.

I am hurting Sango because I cannot be true to myself in claiming I love her, though she may never know. I hope these feelings I have for her are one-sided. In that way, I will be the only one hurt between the two of us.

Finally, I am hurting myself.

I am a deceitful coward.

A/N: alright more comments…

Sorry for not sticking to my promise of showing miroku. At least our fave kagome is here…uh…anyways… the reviews for this chapter flattered and humbled me with all sincerity. You guys had been so good to me I feel I don't deserve it all.

Dark-magic67: I'm glad you're familiar with the story and find it ok I'm re-making it. hopefully, I'm doing a good job. Sa-la-mat to you. wink, wink.

QT: the songs I've mentioned here are my faves. Sorry if I confuse you with my typos. Sometimes I don't get the chance to edit, and re-edit. Also, I'm not really that excellent in grammar. Heh. Thanks for the review, tho.

Dye: hmm…will kagome ever find out? That is the question we need to ask this confused inuyasha! Thanks.

Peacemaker: ooh, I didn't notice I had a cliffie! heehee. It really was hanging, ch10 that is. Sorry if I made it sound that way. you've been such a good reader to this fic, I wouldn't wanna LOSE you. no more cliffies then, well…uh…we'll see. Wink, wink.

Demonrader: you and the rest of them readers who leave a comment or two are what matters most. You guys are actually the most significant inspiration of a fan fic. Thank you.

Icygirl2: hopefully I didn't disappoint you that much that miroku's not in this chap. He'll be on the next one or ch13, I think. Keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep updating.

kuro-kitsunechan: and here i thought you abandoned the fic. i myself wish i can get to experience it - the flower festival. it's a long shot though since i live miles and miles away from where it's being held. sigh. glad you're able to leave a review. arigatou.

Moggy: heh, sorry if I didn't include all the numbers. anyway, is that MUCH fluff bad? Tell me and I'll minimize it. hope you enjoy this.

Shezel: hopefully I didn't offend you in any way. I was actually hoping someone would point out a POSITIVE in a sessh-kago pairing, not that it would change my views. But, it's just a little mind-boggling, imo, how popular this pairing works since there are no hints in the manga or anime. Still, I don't trash ppl for their desires in such alt. pairings. Look at me, I'm a big inu-san pairing and I know the two are impossible to happen. Oh well. Still, I'm glad you left a review eventhough we differ opinion. But we both agree SESSHOUMARU is one sexy guy, eh?

Edward Elric55: here's to your request. A quick update! Wink, wink.

Sango fan: I'm honoured to be the first to dedicate you a chapter. Hee. It's the least I could do to pay for all the good things you, and the others, have given me. And I agree, who wouldn't be happy kissing inuyasha? Hell, I'd go inside the tv to kiss him myself!