What Once was Lost Now is Found

By Hayai Akurei

--((00))-((00))--

Disclaimer: Of course, all characters belong to CLAMP. As for Kurogane's back story, I'm kind of just winging it based on what I've read and heard. Hugs for the little Kuro-puu.

Warning: Slight Kuro/Fai, but not enough to make anti-yaoi fans hurl. At least, I don't think so. Just some supportive camaraderie for the most part. And possible OOC on Kuro-bun's part.

--((00))-((00))--

At first, Kurogane thought that Fai couldn't have picked a more useless place in which to gather information on the feather. It was essentially a small dance hall, with a nice, classy bar on the side. Yeesh, two-bit taverns could gather more dirt on things than this place.

But as always, he went along with the other man's choice. It was worth a try, after all. If he was lucky, he'd get some time away from the semi-psychotic mage. That in itself would be a miracle.

He thought back to when Tomoyo had told him – as he was being eaten by the floor – that this trip would be good for him. He threw a dirty look at the blond, who was currently chatting away with the bartender over a slender flute glass of bubbly pink stuff.

Ick. Fai and bubbles was not good. The last time that happened, he had all but pranced insanely about the apartment for the entire night, giggling like a demon hamster.

Grimacing, he took a long sip of his drink, which was a bit weak for his tastes, but it would serve for the time being.

Somewhere overhead, the lights dimmed, several moving to focus on the dance floor as a light, airy music began to play. Already a few couples had walked down onto the lowered wooden floor, hands clasped fervently together.

He was about to gag in disgust when a lone young woman caught his attention and his heart nearly stopped. Red eyes widened and he almost felt his brain stop functioning.

It can't be…

Getting up out of his chair, he ignored Fai's inquiring "Kuro-pin?" and strode over to her. As he approached, she looked up at him from her chair with a smile.

"Good evening," she said graciously. He swallowed. After all this time, why should it be so hard to talk her now?

"Hey," he managed, somehow forcing his voice to sound relatively normal. "Would you…?" He motioned to the dimly lit floor below. "Would you like to dance?"

She smiled beautifully at him, and he was sure his heart was going to thud through his chest.

"I would love to."

--((00))-((00))--

She was just as beautiful as he remembered her. Long hair tumbled down her back in a sable waterfall, just brushing past her hips, and every time they turned, it would caress the back of Kurogane's hand like cool silk.

It was like a dream. One that he never wanted to wake up from. Never before had he held her like this. Typically, it had been the other way around. Memories of her gentle touch and soothing voice drifted forward to the forefront of his mind.

He blinked as gentle gray eyes lifted up to meet his. Cocking her head, she stared deep into his piercing crimson gaze, her lips pursed in thought.

"Have I…have I met you before?" she asked. "I feel as if I've seen you before." Kurogane shook his head, old wounds beginning to ache again. Wounds that would never heal.

"No."

"Oh," she replied, resting her head against his shoulder. She sounded almost sad, a sound that did not suit her. Neither of them said anything, even as they danced for a few more songs.

It was nearing closing time, the strains of the last song ending. Kurogane twirled her gently around, his eyes never leaving her as he tried to burn her image into his memory forever. She curtsied, ever so graceful. Bowing shortly, he began to pull away; it was too painful as it was to tarry any longer.

"Wait," she called, taking hold of his wrist. He turned to face her.

"Yes?"

"I…I never caught your name."

"My name?" Should he tell her? More than anything, he wanted to tell her everything, as he had before. After all, there was nothing that he could hide from her. "It's unimportant."

"I understand."

He wanted to cry. Honest to all the gods in the temples and the princess he served, he wanted to cry. But he wouldn't allow himself to. The stubborn walls that he had built around himself served him well. However, she lingered.

"Don't be sad," she said, cupping his face gently, "There's nothing sad about us parting."

Kurogane sighed, leaning his face into the curve of her hand.

Why am I not surprised that she can read me so easily? Even in this world, in this other guise of herself, she still knows my every thought.

"Either way," he whispered softly, "I'm glad we met." Pulling her hand away from his cheek, he lifted it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. She blushed slightly and smiled prettily.

"Me too."

With that silent parting, Kurogane watched with a heavy heart as she walked out the door of the little bar and out into the street.

--((00))-((00))--

They were about halfway back to the apartment when Fai spoke up.

"That woman at the bar. You knew her."

It wasn't a question, and Kurogane fought to keep control of himself. Couldn't he have just made it easier on the both of them and kept his mouth shut?

"She was a woman from your world," Fai said, stopping under a lone streetlamp. "Wasn't she?"

It would have been so easy to say no, to deny it all. But he found that he couldn't. He too came to a stop, his face shadowed by the golden beams cast overhead.

"Yes." The answer came out so low and raspy, he would have almost choked on his own voice. Turning around to face the blond man, he let his own mask slip a bit as he said, "She was my mother."

Fai's eyes visibly softened as he approached him. Gently, slowly, so to make sure that the ninja wouldn't bolt for it or shy away from his touch, he wrapped his arms around him. For a moment, Kurogane froze. Sirens and alarms were going off in his head, screaming at him to pull away. But a part of him begged him not to, that tiny, hidden part of him had wanted to be held like this for so long. To be reassured, and to know that he wasn't alone. After so many years of having truly no one but himself, he had grown so tired.

But the feeling of Fai simply holding him, saying not a word, chipped away at his outer shell. Sturdy defenses began to crumble. And unlike all of Fai's other teasing advances, this one held no aura of flirtatious glee. He didn't even sense any pity. Just…warmth.

He felt Fai smile a little as he returned the hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. Sighing heavily, he let the many years of grief and heartache droop from his shoulders. He wouldn't cry now, maybe some other day. For now, he was content just to be held.

Then, a whisper so soft that not even the mage could hear it escaped his lips as they stood there together.

"Thanks."

--((00))-((00))--

Author's Notes: Gyaaaa…major OOC on Kuro's part. Man, I think I just killed his character. Well, I tried! Lemme know what you think! Reviews are good for an author's health and sanity!

AND JUST SO I DON'T GET FLAMERS REPORTING ME FOR STEALING IDEAS – this whole thing sort of stemmed from one of the chapters in Yumiko Kaze's "We Will Meet Again" in a really twisted roundabout way. The whole "There's nothing sad about us parting" is swiped practically out of Hotohori's mouth. But while I was writing this, there was really no other way to say what I was trying to get at. So THAT part is her idea. Kudos to her and her wonderful fic. GO READ IT! Even if you hate or love Hoto/Miaka or ship some other FY pairing, go read it! It is worth the trip, trust me!