"Restless nights"

"I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me- I still feel your touch in my dreams... Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why without you it's hard to survive..."

Rod tossed and turned in bed... It was going to be another one of those nights. The nights where no matter what he tried , he couldn't fall asleep... He did so well during the day...but when the sun went down and he was left alone in that house, he felt her everywhere... He climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen, hoping that a warm cup of milk would help him fall asleep. On his way down the hall he passed the room. He had only been in the room twice since Mackenzie died and that was only to help the kids pack up her belongings that they had moved in there when she was sick ... He opened the door and turned on the light, the room seemed so different now... All the machines that once took up the room were gone, the hospital bed that his wife has spent the last month of her life in had been replaced by a regular one that Horace had brought over... He walked over and sat in the chair he had spent everyday for a month sitting in, where he read to Mackenzie. Picking up the book that still rested on the night table, he leafed through it, stopping at the page he had left off months before .

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"Mac, honey you should try and get some rest." Rod pressed , taking off his reading glasses.

She shook her head, the chemotherapy made her so weak that even that small movement took a lot out of her... It broke his heart to see this woman, once so full of life and energy overcome by this illness. The prognosis has started off positive- they had caught it in time, or so they had thought. After surgery to remove all of the cancer and months of extensive chemotherapy, Mackenzie's chances of winning this fight were great. She made it to her one year check up cancer free... then six months later it came back -full force and had spread all over ... The doctors did another round of chemo, but it wasn't enough this time-she had three to six months to live.

"Please Rod, keep reading." She rested her hand over his and he lovingly bent down and kissed it.

He opened up the book again and began to read her one of his favorite poems.

"She walks in beauty, like the night.Of cloudless climes and starry skies;And all that's best of dark and bright .Meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impair'd the nameless grace .Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o'er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express . How pure, how dear their dwelling-place...And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,so soft, so calm, yet eloquent, the smiles that win, the tints that glow, but tell of days in goodness spent, a mind at peace with all below, a heart whose love is innocent!"

Rod looks up and see's she's fallen asleep; he places a kiss on her cheek . She still looks as beautiful as the day he met her. His life... his love... his Mackenzie...

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Rod sighs putting the book down on the night stand... he walks over to the door and as he's about to shut the light he swears for a moment he see's Mackenzie's reflection in the mirror, as beautiful and vibrant as the day he met her... he smiles...shuts the light and walks back towards the bed and lays down.

"Goodnight my love..."

Forgetting all about his cup of milk, he falls asleep with the presence of Mackenzie right beside him.

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"Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last, need you by my side."