Hello hello! I know a lot of you said how you were looking forward to seeing how Gabby's shift at 51 goes and well, let's just say it's interesting. I originally planned this chapter going in a different direction, but I just started writing and this is what came out so… settle in, I've got a long one for ya.
Chapter Twenty Four
Gabby studied her appearance as she looked in the mirror, the unfamiliar yet all too familiar uniform covering her body causing a rush of emotions to flood her system. The blue pants and grey shirt were a little loose as they hung from her body, Gabby still thinner than she was when she first left. But with the long sleeve shirt tucked into her pants and the belt wrapped around her waist, she looked the same. It was odd, seeing herself in this uniform again. The uniform she kept hidden in the back of her bottom drawer, never expecting to pull it out again.
It was a weird feeling, seeing the CFD crest staring back at her through her reflection. Her hand came up to run over it, her fingers grazing over the slightly faded emblem, Gabby tearing her eyes from it as she caught her own gaze.
She couldn't explain exactly what she was feeling in this moment. It almost felt like she was herself again, like she was going back to where she belonged. But she knew that wasn't the case, that 24 hours from now everything would be back to normal. Or at least her new normal. Firehouse 51 wasn't her home anymore, her spot had been filled. She didn't have a place there now, and she had accepted that. Today was simply her chance to say goodbye to it.
"I found it." Matt called happily as he bounded into the bedroom clad in his Captain's attire, holding onto Gabby's old paramedic jacket from the CFD, the thicker material needed for the freezing temperatures they were about to head out into. "It was hiding in the front closet." He spoke with a soft smile as he came to a halt beside her, holding out the item for her to take.
"Thank you." She responded quietly, grabbing the jacket from him and pulling it over her shoulders.
"You okay?" He took a step closer to her, wrapping his arm around her back as he looked at themselves in the mirror. Nodding slightly, Gabby gave him as much of a smile as she could muster.
"Just a little nervous… it's gonna be weird, working there again." Matt gave her a sympathetic smile, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss against the side of her head.
"That's understandable, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Everyone's gonna be so excited to have you back, even if it's just for one shift." He murmured into her hair, squeezing her side lightly. "And remember what I told you," Matt shifted the position of his head as he spoke, resting his chin on the top of her head, "if anyone's mean to you, they're automatically on bathroom duty for the next month." A chuckle escaped through her lips, genuine smiles finding their way to both of their faces as Matt brought his other arm around her front. "But in all seriousness, I know you're a little nervous to go back, but I think it'll be good for you. And I'll be right there the entire time." He promised her, Gabby turning her head to place a soft kiss against his neck.
"Thank you." She whispered against his skin, Gabby shifting in his hold so they were facing each other, pushing herself up to place a soft kiss on his lips. Matt had a wide grin on his face when they pulled back, his hand rubbing over her back lightly. Glancing over his shoulder to the clock on the wall, Gabby blew out a soft breath, patting his chest before pulling from his grip. "We need to get going soon." Turning to look at the clock as well, Matt nodded in agreement, pulling Gabby in for one more kiss before the two went back to getting ready for the day ahead.
Matt and Gabby walked up the driveway of 51, the formerly routine action now almost foreign to her as they maneuvered past the snow and ice covering the ground, Gabby blowing out a heavy breath. The last time the couple had done this trek, things were completely different, the two barely speaking as they walked into work for the last time with a heavy tension looming over them. Now, Gabby felt a similar tension for a different reason, the paramedic weary of what she was getting herself into. But knowing she had Matt here with her, and knowing the relationship between her and the other members of 51 was slowly moving in a better direction, she felt like this was the right decision. Even if it was only for one shift, she wanted to be able to call this place home again.
"Do they know I'm working today?" She asked him, Matt's beanie clad head turning to look at her for a moment before he returned his attention to the ground below him, not wanting to slip and fall.
"I don't know. Boden said he was gonna tell Brett and Foster, but aside from them I'm not sure who else knows." He answered, their breath fogging up at the air around them as the cold temperature attacked their senses. Gabby merely nodded as they got to the door, Matt holding it open for her to walk through. She stopped in the doorway to take in the familiar surroundings, leaving room for Matt to come in behind her so he wouldn't be trapped in the cold.
She couldn't pinpoint exactly how she was feeling right now, her mind and her heart pulling her in different directions. This place still felt like it should be her home, even though it's not. Part of her wished she could come back to her old job, and be able to work with Matt and see her friends all the time, but she knew that wasn't a possibility. When she was here a few weeks ago, she didn't get this same feeling. Maybe because she knew she was a visitor, or because the only reason she was here was to talk to Boden about her new job, but now, she felt oddly at peace. It felt like she was back where she belonged. But Gabby knew she had to push back those feelings. She didn't belong here, she couldn't get too comfortable. It wasn't her house anymore. She was nothing more than a floater, coming in to cover for a paramedic who did belong here, and she couldn't let herself lose sight of that. It would only make things harder.
"You good?" Matt asked her softly, Gabby feeling his hand come up to rest on her lower back. Nodding slightly, she turned to look at him.
"I am, it's just a lot… Being back here again." She spoke quietly, Matt flashing her an understanding smile. "But this'll be good, to get to work with everyone one last time." Gabby was unable to hide the hint of sadness in her voice, Matt frowning as he picked up on it. He opened his mouth to question her, but she spoke before he could get a word out. "Let's go put our stuff away."
Deciding it was a conversation for another time, Matt nodded in agreement, following her towards the first set of double doors. The doors that conveniently avoided the common room. He wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose, or if it was purely out of their location, but regardless he followed her path.
As they walked through the halls of the firehouse, he saw a few faces from first shift wondering around, most likely getting ready for shift change that was due to happen soon, but Matt had yet to see anyone from second shift. As they got to the locker room, Matt could hear Herrmann and Severide talking before they even got in there. He noticed Gabby's steps slow, but she never stopped her path. The couple turned the corner together, finding the two firefighters at their respective lockers, along with Foster and Kidd standing with them.
"Are my eyes deceiving me?" Herrmann bellowed as soon as he laid eyes on her, slamming his locker shut in surprise. "Is that Miss Gabriela Dawson wearing her CFD uniform? What are you doing here?" His voice was laced in excitement, Gabby's nerves lessening tremendously from his reaction as he walked closer to her.
"Boden asked me to cover for Brett this shift, and I figured why not? For old times sake." She replied with a grin, Herrmann wrapping her up in a tight hug, swaying them side to side as he held onto her.
"You never greet me like this, Herrmann." Matt spoke lightly as the older firefighter let go of Gabby, moving to stand by her side but keeping his arm over her shoulders.
"There's nothing special about seeing you, Cap." He replied smugly, Gabby chuckling at Casey's expense.
"I'll remember that next time I need someone on shower duty." Matt muttered, giving Gabby's arm a comforting squeeze before moving towards his locker.
"I almost didn't believe Kidd when she told me." Severide interjected, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing as she looked from Kelly towards Stella.
"You knew?" Kidd moved towards Gabby, the woman nodding with a soft smile.
"Foster told me, I didn't really believe her either but here you are." Stella spoke, forcing Herrmann's arm off Gabby as she wrapped her long-time friend up in a hug. "It's good to have you back, Dawson."
"I second that." Kelly said from his locker as Stella pulled away, Gabby feeling a heat rise to her cheeks.
"It's just for this shift guys, don't get too used to it." She reminded them, her eyes flashing to Foster who had stayed rooted in her spot across the room, her blank stare focused on Gabby. "But I'm glad to be here for today."
"Well we're happy to have you back, kid. Even if it's just for one day." Herrmann's voice was light, the man giving her one last hug before heading out of the locker room, Kidd following his path seconds later.
"Well, good news is in about ten seconds everyone within a five mile radius will know Dawson's here." Kelly said with a grin, Gabby smirking as she walked towards Matt. "I'll see you guys out there, glad to have you back Dawson." Kelly stopped by Gabby's side, giving her a quick hug and planting a kiss on her cheek before sliding past the couple, making his way out of the locker room.
"See, that wasn't so bad." Matt spoke with a soft smile, Gabby nodding before her eyes moved behind him, seeing Emily still in her same spot. Matt saw her gaze shift, turning around to see Foster watching them.
"Hey Foster." He said warmly, the words causing her to snap out of her stare, Emily starting her way to the exit.
"Hey Captain, Dawson." She greeted with a weak smile, slipping out of the room without another word. Matt turned back to his locker, placing his keys on the shelf as Gabby slid her bag down off her shoulder.
"Can I, uh, just put my stuff in your locker?" Gabby asked quietly, Matt glancing at her to see her eyes elsewhere. He followed her line of sight, landing on her old locker, the locker that now had another firefighter's name written across it.
"Of course." He replied, carefully taking her bag from her grasp and hanging it in his locker. Matt hung up his jacket, Gabby opting to keep hers knowing what kind of weather she'd be getting herself into. "You ready to go out there?" He asked after shutting his locker, "Seeing Herrmann and Kidd went well, I'm sure everyone else is equally excited to see you." He said with a small smile.
"Yeah, it did. But everyone in here wasn't really who I was worried about, for the most part." Gabby responded, Matt tilting his head to the side in confusion, taking a step closer to her.
"For the most part?" He repeated, picking up on her wording. Gabby's eyes flickered towards the ground, Matt sighing softly before placing his hand under her chin, lifting her head until she was looking at him. "What do you mean?"
"It's really nothing, it's just- things between Foster and I are a little..." She trailed off, not able to find the right words to say.
"Did something happen?" His voice had dropped significantly, both of them knowing where they were and that their conversation could easily be heard by anyone passing through.
"No, not really. It's just awkward, and I get a weird feeling from her." Gabby began explaining, Matt watching her closely. "All she does is stare at me, and I'm not really sure why. And she was kind of cold towards me when I was at the hospital visiting Brett." A soft sigh escaped her lips before she continued. "I don't know, it could be nothing, but I don't get the feeling she likes me very much."
Matt's eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, a deep frown etched into his face. "You want me to talk to her?" He knew the answer already, and based on the indignant look that crossed her face his assumption was correct that she didn't want his help, but he wanted to at least ask.
"No, I don't want you to do anything." She replied sternly, Matt giving her a nod to show he understood. "No need for you to go all Captain Casey on anyone." Her voice shifted into a light tone, Gabby bringing her hand up to run her thumb over his lips, wiping away the frown that had yet to disappear.
"I'm sure none of this is fun for her either, it's a weird situation to be thrown into. I'd probably be acting the same way if I were in her shoes." Gabby continued, tracing her fingers up to his cheek, rubbing lightly over his skin. "She knows whose job she took, and now I'm back, it has to be weird for her."
"Yeah, but it's not like you're trying to get your job back." He countered, Gabby breathing in deeply.
"No, I'm not. But it's still uncomfortable for both of us. So just don't make it any weirder, okay?" She pleaded, Matt nodding before moving his hands to either side of her waist, pulling her flush against him. He took her by surprise when he placed a hard kiss against her mouth, the moment ending as quickly as it started.
Gabby was heaving when he pulled back, a pensive yet amused look covering her face as she raised her eyebrows at him.
"I won't say anything unless I feel like I need to," He compromised, Gabby opening her mouth to protest but he stopped her. "But for the record, you wouldn't be acting like that if you were in her position." He spoke, placing a soft kiss to the side of her mouth before sliding past her. "Come on, we don't want you late on your first day." He teased, watching a genuine smile fall onto her face, Matt nodding at her to follow him.
The couple walked through the maze that was Firehouse 51, Gabby trailing behind Matt as they got to the conference room, seeing everyone in there already, Boden at the helm, waiting to start roll call.
"There you two are." Chief spoke lightly, Matt and Gabby coming to a halt just inside the doorway. "I'm sure most of you have heard by now, but today we have Dawson back with us to cover for Brett." Gabby turned to face the sea of people, surprised to be greeted by so many warm smiles. Herrmann whistled, Cruz and Otis clapping loudly as Boden finished her introduction.
"Welcome back, mama." Cruz called out, a few of the other firefighters in the room cheering. Heat rushed to her cheeks at the warm welcome, that being the last thing she expected from the group in front of her. If anyone still had a problem with her, they weren't showing it as the loud noise filled the small space. Matt bumped her lightly, wearing a proud look on his face that screamed 'I told you so'. She nudged him back, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right, despite it being true.
There had been a shift in the attitudes of mostly everyone in the room, their genuine excitement of her being there filling her with warmth. She wasn't sure if they had finally forgiven her, or maybe they had just moved on from their resentment towards her, but whatever had caused it, Gabby was grateful. Gone was the awkwardness and apprehensive stares, replaced with nothing but warmth and a feeling of content. This is what she missed so much, what she was afraid had been ruined forever. The feeling of being surrounded by her family and feeling nothing but joy radiating off the people around her.
Except from one person.
Foster was sitting at the back table beside Mouch, the woman wearing a seemingly permanent blank stare, focused in on Dawson. The strong gaze made Gabby uncomfortable, but she tried to push the feeling away. It was unfortunate that Foster was the one Gabby would actually be working with today, but she felt hopeful that once they got to know each other better this clear tension between the two would dissipate. The last thing Gabby wanted was to start any problems, not when she was only here for one day and not when things between her and everyone here had gotten so much better. She just wanted to be able to enjoy her last shift working at 51, her last shift working with Matt. She didn't want or need any trouble, and hopefully Foster felt the same way.
"Now, today will be pretty much business as usual. Dawson, I know it's been awhile but I trust you're ready to go."
"Absolutely."
"Great. You'll be our PIC for this shift." He spoke, Gabby's eyes widening slightly in surprise. "You have more experience, and you were PIC here for a long time so I take it that'll work fine for you two." Chief questioned, even though both women knew he wasn't asking. Gabby spared a glance to Foster, who looked even more annoyed than before.
"Of course." Emily replied, her eyes narrowed.
"Sounds good." Gabby's voice didn't hold nearly as much confidence as it had moments prior, but Chief continued nonetheless.
"Excellent, now-" The bells stopped Chief's sentence short as they all listened intently, hearing Ambulance 61 being needed, the address being rattled out as everyone aside from the two paramedics relaxed.
"You got this." Matt assured her, giving her wink before she headed out of the room, her body moving on autopilot through the familiar motions. She felt Foster behind her, Gabby stopping short of the rig.
"You wanna drive, or do you want me to?" Gabby asked her. She knew they needed to figure this out quickly, the pace of the firehouse much more rigorous than her current job, but she didn't want to make Foster feel like she was being pushed around her own rig. Even though Boden made her PIC for the shift, she didn't work here. This wasn't her ambulance anymore, and she didn't want to try and act like it was.
"You're the PIC, you choose." Foster spoke dryly, Gabby releasing a soft breath before changing her path towards the passenger side.
"You can drive." She responded before she disappeared behind the rig. Both women got into their seats, Foster whipping out of the garage as they raced off towards the person in distress.
Gabby trailed behind Foster as they walked through the garage, returning from their fourth call of the day. It was a little before noon, and this was the first time they'd been back to the house since they got called out at the start of shift.
The dynamic between the two paramedics hadn't improved nearly as much as Gabby was hoping, Foster seemingly content to stick to only the necessary forms of communication. At first, Gabby did what she could to try and strike up a conversation between them, but Emily wasn't interested. Gabby didn't try for very long, not wanting to force the woman to talk to her if she didn't want to. Although she found the behavior to be quite childish, Gabby said nothing. Things between them were already uncomfortable enough, confronting Foster about it would do nothing but cause more tension.
But Gabby wasn't about to let this woman walk all over her either, and she made it very clear that despite this now being Foster's house, she was the PIC, and she called the shots. She didn't want to overstep her role here, but she was the one put in charge, and Foster had to respect that. It was a role that Gabby fell back into quite nicely, and she found herself missing it. She missed being apart of a firehouse, she missed working here, but every time those thoughts crept up into her mind she squashed them down, constantly reminding herself this was only temporary.
"So, uh, I thought Brett was supposed to be here today?" Gabby asked hesitantly as they approached the double doors, not exactly looking to make conversation with Foster but the question had been on her mind all morning. Gabby knew Brett could be an excellent buffer between the two, Dawson wishing the blonde was here right now.
"She is, she had a follow up with Dr. Rhodes this morning." Foster responded, Gabby merely nodding in response as they walked into the common room. "And there she is." Foster smiled widely, seeing Brett sitting at the table with Kidd and Otis.
"It's about time you two got back, I've been sitting here for almost two hours." Brett playfully whined, her smile shining brightly.
"Girl, I've missed you!" This was the most enthusiasm Gabby had ever seen from her current partner as Foster walked towards the blonde. Mindful of the sling, she wrapped Brett up in a hug.
"Emily, it's not even been half a shift." Brett spoke with a laugh, her eyes moving behind the woman who had a hold on her to find Gabby standing in the entrance to the common room. "Hey Dawson." Gabby gave her a small smile and a nod, Foster pulling back and glancing to Gabby before sitting down next to her friend.
"Yeah, well it feels like longer." Emily spoke with a sigh, Gabby biting her tongue as she moved her focus to another person in the room. She found Matt's gaze waiting for her, a questioning look covering his face as he nodded to Foster. Gabby shook her head, silently telling him not to worry about it before making her way to him and Severide, who had taken up residence at the round table behind the couch.
"Hey you." Matt spoke cheerily, pushing out the chair beside him for her to sit down. "So, crazy shift back. I'm not sure what's going on today." He commented, Gabby nodding as she fell into the chair, blowing out a tired sigh.
"Yeah, I heard you guys get called out over the radio for the fire earlier, everyone okay?" Gabby questioned. Usually, they would have to wait until tomorrow morning to talk about their shifts, but being able to do it like this again was comforting.
"No fatalities. I heard some of the calls you two got, sounded pretty intense." Matt replied, Gabby shrugging softly.
"Not exactly the pace of that private ambo company, huh?" Severide asked with a mug grin, Gabby narrowing her gaze at him before grabbing the magazine closest to her and tossing it at him.
"You forget I've done this for years, Kelly." She bit back, earning a chuckle from Herrmann who was sitting on the couch.
"Yup, our Dawson is back." He muttered under his breath, but most of the room heard him, eliciting laughs from a few of the firefighters around them. The focus moved on from Gabby and Severide, chatter settling in around them as Matt put down his newspaper, turning his attention to the tired woman beside him.
"How's everything going?" He asked, his eyes flickering to Foster before locking eyes with Gabby.
Picking up on the real meaning of his question, she shrugged, reaching for the plate of apples he had sitting in front of him and placing it in front of herself. "It's going about like I expected."
Matt smiled softly as he watched her eat his snack, Matt reaching for one of the cut up apples on the plate and taking a bite. "And how are you doing?" He asked after a few moments, his voice low. He was sure Kelly could hear him, but he hoped no one else around them could. "You feeling okay? I know you've been called out like crazy, but this isn't too much for you?" Concern was laced in his words, despite the low volume.
Gabby's eyes flashed to Kelly, who, to his credit, was acting oblivious to the conversation even though Gabby knew he heard what they were saying. "I'm alright."
"Okay," He started, Gabby picking up the last piece of food and holding it out for him to take, which him immediately declined. "You eat." Matt told her, Gabby nodding and taking it for herself. "But you'll tell me if you start to feel overwhelmed or anything, right?"
"Yeah, I will. Promise." She responded with a smile, Matt reciprocating the action before moving back to his newspaper.
"Oh, and instead of subjecting you to Otis' cooking, I ordered in from that Mexican place you love. Food should be here in about an hour." Matt spoke proudly, Gabby's eyes widening in excitement and thanks.
"You've just become my favorite person." She teased, Matt's mouth parting open in shock. There was no time for him to respond before the bells rang out, signaling 61 to another call. Gabby pushed herself up from the table, leaning over and placing a soft kiss to the top of his head before heading out towards the garage behind Brett and Foster.
"Wait, who was ahead of me before?" He called out, Gabby shrugging with a grin before she disappeared through the doors.
"It's nice," Herrmann mused, turning around to look at Casey, who's eyebrows raised in question. "It's nice seeing you two happy again."
"Thanks Herrmann." Matt replied, not sure what else to say as he flashed the older man a smile, the firefighters going back to their individual activities while they waited for their lunch.
Gabby sat at the long table in the common room, happily enjoying her food as she was positioned in between Matt and Stella, few words being said as everyone dug into their portions. 61 had gotten back maybe fifteen minutes after the food had been delivered, and Gabby found a plate of her favorites and a seat waiting for her next to Matt when she came in, Casey getting rewarded with a quick kiss before she took her seat and began eating.
Aside from some chatter here and there, it was unusually quiet around the room, until Herrmann spoke up from the end of the table.
"So kid, we still never heard anything about Puerto Rico." He started, Gabby swallowing before turning her attention to him, placing her fork down on her half-finished plate.
"Well," She cleared her throat, glancing to Matt was gave her a small, encouraging smile. "What do you want to know?" She felt eyes throughout the room on her, both Casey and Severide holding bits of concern in their gaze, knowing the topic wasn't the easiest to talk about.
"What did you do over there?" He questioned, shoveling another forkful of food into his mouth.
"Well, uh," She cleared her throat again, willing her mind to focus solely on the job aspects of Puerto Rico before she spoke up, Matt moving his hand from the table to rest on her back, rubbing soft circles over her shirt. "We did a lot of logistical help with building back up hospitals, we taught families basic first aid. A lot of us took turns going around schools down there, to help teach kids some first aid skills too. We were doing a bunch of different things." She said softly, Matt smiling as she spoke, his body filling with pride as she talked of the work she'd done. "And I ended up becoming a permanent translator for some of the other paramedics there." Chuckles were heard about the table, Herrmann catching her gaze.
"Yeah, I mean we were used to only hearing you speak Spanish whenever Casey got in trouble." Herrmann teased, the laughs growing at the expense of their Captain, who merely let out a dry chuckle. "But I'd imagine it came in handy while you were there."
"Very funny Herrmann." Matt responded, Gabby smirking as she placed her hand on his thigh, squeezing gently.
"But no, it sounds like amazing work you were doing while you were there. Did you enjoy it?"
"I did, yeah." She replied, catching Matt's eyes before continuing. "Being able to help everyone there, seeing how appreciative they were over the littlest thing, it definitely gave me a lot of perspective. It was rewarding, being able to help them. Even if it was just for a little bit." She trailed off, Gabby seeing a few of the looks worn by her former colleagues, noticing a hint of pride shining in their gazes.
"Sounds like the job was made for you. You've always been helping others, so I'm not surprised you enjoyed it so much." Herrmann said sincerely, Gabby flashing him a small smile.
"Thanks Herrmann." She responded, feeling Matt pat her back before dropping his hand. "I did enjoy what I was doing there, but, uh, I'm glad to be back home." Matt gave her a strong, supportive smile, proud of her for how well she handled talking about her work over there.
"Why are you back?" Foster's blunt voice broke through for the first time, confused glances and raised eyebrows turning to meet the woman at the other end of the table.
"Emily." Brett bewildered voice whispered from beside her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." She covered quickly, her eyes finding Casey's narrow glare and Dawson's hesitant gaze staring at her. "I just meant what made you decide to come back?"
"Oh," Gabby responded, clearing the shock from her voice before speaking. "Well, it was a few things, but mostly I just wanted to come home."
"Was your assignment up or something?" Emily questioned, no one else at the table daring to speak as the uncomfortable conversation continued.
"No, I had a permanent job there. But I wanted to come back." Gabby replied, confused as to why Emily was so intent on questioning her.
"Why? Did something happen to make you want to come home, or something like that?" She prodded, multiple pairs of wide eyes moving back to Gabby, waiting for her answer.
"Foster." Matt spoke warningly, no one missing the harsh edge to his voice.
"It's okay, Matt." Gabby whispered from his side, her eyes narrowing before landing back on Foster. "I'm not sure what answer you're expecting here, but I wanted to come home. I missed Matt, and my family, and the job wasn't making me happy anymore." She responded sharply, the tension in the room growing.
"But wasn't it your choice to leave all that? You chose the job over people here." Foster sharply replied. "And weren't you gone for like five months? You're saying one day you just suddenly decided to come back to the people you left? That's it?"
Gabby's mouth parted open slightly, the prying questions slapping her in the face. You could hear a pin drop in the room, everyone in the room practically able to see the anger radiating off of Casey's body.
Gabby knew they were all waiting to see what she would say, and how she'd react to Foster's questions, but no one was willing to speak up before she did.
"Out of everyone in this room, you're the last person who deserves any explanation as to why I chose to come back." Gabby spoke after nearly a minute of silence. "I don't know why you have a problem with me, or what you think is going on here, but what made me come back doesn't concern you." Without another word, Gabby pushed back her chair and left the room, Matt watching her until she disappeared down the hallway.
With anger coursing through him, Matt slid back his chair, the metal on tile sound screeching throughout the room as his fists clenched at his sides. "What the hell was that, Foster?" He bit out, grabbing his and Gabby's plates from the table.
"Matt-" Severide started, but Casey shook his head, shooting Kelly a glare before turning back to Foster.
"I'm just trying to figure out what's going on."
"There's nothing going on!" He replied exasperatedly, his body radiating aggravation as he moved around the table. "The reasons for Gabby coming back have nothing to do with you, and quite frankly they don't have anything to do with anyone here." He snapped, his anger getting the best of him. "There's no hidden agenda here. This is her home, that's why she's back."
Casey left the room before anyone else could get a word in, going in search of Gabby.
"Uh, you wanna explain what that was all about, Foster?" Herrmann broke the silence in the room, Emily looking around and seeing every pair of eyes on her.
"I just find it weird, her coming back so suddenly. I told Brett this a few weeks ago, there has to be another reason she's back."
"But even if there was, how would that possibly even affect you?" Brett questioned, unable to understand why Emily was making this into something more than it was.
"I'm not trying to look out for myself, I'm looking out for you guys." Foster replied frustratedly, earning confused stares from her coworkers. "If today has shown me anything, it's that everyone here has tunnel vision when it comes to her. Up until a few weeks ago, no one wanted to even talk to her, and now everyone's acting like she didn't do anything and nothing happened... I don't want you all getting hurt again."
Foster's words left an unsettling feeling in the room, no one really sure how to respond to what she was saying. After a few fleeting moments of uncomfortable silence, Herrmann blew out a breath, turning in his seat to face her.
"Look, Emily, I know your heart's in the right place here, but you're out of line with this." He spoke honestly, the woman in question giving little reaction. "What went down with us and Dawson, that's between us. You don't get to accuse her of something when this has nothing to do with you. Whatever other reasons there might be for Gabby coming back, I'm willing to bet they affect her a hell of a lot more than they do us." Herrmann's words were accompanied by a few agreeing nods from around the table, Foster taking a deep breath. "I know you mean well, but you owe Dawson an apology."
His words settled in the air for a few seconds before Emily nodded in compliance, the tense quiet moving throughout the room as everyone slowly went back to their meal.
Matt walked through the hallways, pushing his anger down as he made his way to the bunk room, figuring that the best place to look first. He couldn't focus on his feelings towards Foster at the moment, his only concern was making sure Gabby was alright after being interrogated in front of all her friends.
His instincts proved correct the second he walked into the room and saw Gabby in his office, sitting at his desk, her body hunched over slightly. Her back was to him, Matt having to maneuver the door open while holding two plates, but he completed the task successfully, Gabby turning around when she heard the noise. Matt placed the food down on his desk before saying a word, squatting down in front of her as Gabby turned the chair towards him.
His eyes ran over her face, and despite seeing a sadness in her tired eyes, he saw no signs of crying, which he was thankful for. Placing his hands on her knees to steady himself, he squeezed her legs lightly, Gabby giving him a pitiful smile.
"You okay?" He asked softly, Gabby's hand drifting up to run her fingers over his forehead as she released a deep sigh.
"I am, I just- I really don't know what her deal is with me." He could hear the frustration in her words, and he hated that Foster put her in this position. She had enough going on already, pettiness at work, especially about this, was not something she needed on top of everything else.
"You didn't do anything wrong. She's convinced there's some ulterior motives to you being back, but I don't even know what that could possibly mean." Matt was equally as frustrated at the situation, neither of them knowing why Foster was pressing this so hard. "She thinks there's something else going on."
"Oh, like me being attacked?" Gabby spoke bitterly, Matt's eyes shining with sadness. Not knowing where this conversation was going, he pushed himself up from his crouched position and moved to shut the door, wanting to give them privacy. "I wonder if that would get rid of whatever theories she has about why I'm here." She breathed out, Matt returning to his previous position, crossing his arms over her lap.
"Who knows, but it's none of her business." Matt replied, balancing on the balls of his feet. "You don't owe anyone out there any explanation. You know why you're here, and I know why you're here. That's all that matters." He spoke softly, rubbing his fingers over the outside of her thigh. "And, uh- I went a little Captain Casey out there after you left." He said with a smug look, Gabby's eyebrows raising. "I know I said I wouldn't, but the situation warranted it." Matt defended himself, a light smile finding its way to her lips. Leaning forward, she brushed a soft kiss over his forehead, placing a hand on the back of his neck.
"I love you."
"I love you too." He responded immediately, using her as leverage to return to a standing position. "And I'm sorry you had to deal with that, especially in front of everyone. She shouldn't have started any of that." He cradled the side of her face as he spoke, running his thumb lightly over her cheek.
Shrugging softly, Gabby's gaze flickering down. "This is what I didn't want to happen, and why I didn't think it was a good idea to come back here." She murmured, Matt's eyebrows furrowing at her words. "Me being here inevitably causes problems, whether it's something I did or not."
"This isn't your fault, Gabby." Matt spoke before she could finish her thought, her eyes snapping back to him. "This is completely on Foster, you didn't do anything. You're here doing your job, just like she is. She's the only one with the problem here."
"But I'm why she's acting like that. If I wasn't here, then she wouldn't-"
"And that's on her." He cut in. "You saw how excited everyone was to see you today, don't let her ruin that... Even though you don't work here anymore, don't let her keep you from coming here. This is her issue, don't avoid this place because of that. She'll get over it. And if she doesn't, you and I will deal with it." Matt assured her, tapping his thumb softly against her skin. "This is still your home, everyone out there loves you. Who cares about what she thinks." He finished, grinning softly at her, his smile widening when he saw a similar grin appear on her face. "Okay?"
"Okay." She confirmed, Matt leaning down to place a kiss on the top of her head.
"Good. Now finish your lunch." He commanded gently, moving her plate to position it directly in front of her. He picked up his own, walking the short distance past her and sitting down at the end of the bed. With a small smile on her face, Gabby picked up her plate and balanced it on her lap, turning the chair towards him as they finished their lunch together, both of them content just being together as they ate in a comfortable silence.
Gabby sat quietly as ambulance 61 drove through the wintery streets of Chicago, nearly to their destination of returning to the firehouse. They'd gotten called out to a heart attack victim, the three women working together in perfect sync. Anyone on the outside would be hard pressed to detect the tension among the paramedics. But it was there.
Luckily, after the lunch incident, 61 went nearly three hours without getting a call, Gabby having stayed put in Matt's office during that time. Even when 81 had gotten called out to a fire, Gabby remained in his office, taking up post on his bed. Kelly had stopped by to visit with her while Matt was out, but other than that she had been on her own. And truthfully she didn't mind.
The craziness of the day had taken its toll on her, and the break was very much needed and even more appreciated by the paramedic, Gabby thankful to enjoy the downtime with Matt like they used to.
But her solitude came to an end when they got called out, and without any negotiation Gabby automatically climbed into the back of the ambulance when the three got out there, wordlessly shutting the door behind her.
Unsurprisingly, they all handled the call professionally, getting the victim to the hospital quickly, speaking to each other when needed, but other than that Gabby stayed silent.
They'd somehow ended up with Gabby in the passenger seat and Brett, with her one good arm, driving the rig back to the firehouse, that similar silence permeating throughout the ambulance. Brett hadn't tried to get her to talk, knowing better than to force the situation, and Foster had remained a quiet presence in the back of the rig.
The snow was getting heavier as they got closer to the house, Gabby thankful when they pulled into the driveway of 51. She wanted to get out of this weather, and get back into the warmth and security that Matt's office provided her.
Once Brett backed in the rig, Gabby hopped from the passenger seat almost immediately, closing the door behind her before walking around the front of the ambulance, her path set on the double doors across from her.
"Dawson, wait." Foster's voice called, Gabby hearing the back ambulance doors slam and the sound of footsteps approaching her. Gabby hadn't slowed her steps yet, but she knew the paramedic would catch up to her. "Dawson." She felt a hand on her arm, effectively stopped her as Gabby turned around, seeing a weary-looking Foster in front of her, Brett a couple steps back from the two, watching the pair cautiously.
"I'm sorry." Foster spoke first, Gabby crossing her arms over her chest in a protective stance. "What happened earlier, that was out of line. I never should've pushed that hard." Emily began, Gabby's eyes softening slightly. "Whatever your reasons for coming back, it's none of my business. I wasn't here when it happened, we barely know each other- you don't owe me any explanation. I wish it didn't take Herrmann and the Captain kicking my ass to realize that, but... I was projecting my issues onto you, and that's not fair." Gabby's eyes narrowed in confusion, silently telling Foster to continue.
Releasing a soft breath, Emily mimicked Gabby's stance, her arms crossed over her chest. "I guess I felt a little threatened, by you coming back. I was worried the reason you came back, or at least part of it, was that you wanted your old life back. All of your old life back." Emily spoke, gesturing towards the garage. "I was afraid you were gonna come in here and want your old job back and I'd be moved from 51. It scared me, cause I love it here and don't want to work anywhere else. And I saw you being back as a threat to that."
"It's not my job anymore." Gabby cut in, her voice soft. "There's nothing I can take from you because it's not mine."
"Come on, Dawson. You really think if you went to Boden right now and asked him for your job back, he wouldn't move me in a second?" Foster asked. "You're beloved around here. And seeing that first hand, seeing how easily they all welcomed you back today after how everything went down, and Boden making you PIC… it freaked me out."
Sucking in a deep breath, Gabby pursed her lips together in thought before responding. "I don't know what Boden would do if I asked him for my old job. I'll be honest with you, when I first came back, he told me if I wanted my old job that he'd make it work." Gabby saw Emily visibly deflate, but she continued on. "I don't know what he meant, I didn't ask- but it doesn't matter, because it isn't my job. It was my job, for a long time this place was my home. But it's not anymore, at least not in the way it always had been." Gabby explained, her eyes flickering to Brett before moving back to Foster. "As far as I'm concerned, this is your job now. I'm not going to try and take it from you. I just wanted one last shift to be able to work with people who were my family for years. I wanted to work here with Casey one last time, that's all this was. Boden asked me to cover for Brett, and I said yes. There's nothing more to it."
It felt like a hard rock had settled in the pit of Emily's stomach, realizing just how off the mark she'd been in Dawson's intentions.
"I should've just come to you, instead of what I did earlier. I really am sorry. What happened with you leaving, it isn't between us. You didn't do anything to me, and I should've never acted like it affects me." Foster finished, taking a deep breath, trying to gauge the woman's reaction but she wasn't able to read her.
"I'm sorry, Gabby."
Gabby's tongue poked out from her mouth as it ran over her bottom lip, her head turning to the ground as she shifted back and forth on her feet. Not wanting to keep this going any longer, when Foster was visibly remorseful over what she'd done earlier, Gabby nodded, looking back up to meet her gaze.
"Okay." She accepted, Gabby seeing Foster's shoulders relax. "Thank you, for saying that." Gabby gave her a small smile before turning around and continuing her path towards the double doors, intent on making her way back to Matt's office.
Herrmann sat halfway off his bunk, looking around the dark room at all the other sleeping firefighters. It was barely past 11, yet the majority of the firehouse was dead to the world, peacefully sleeping away until the next call. All companies of 51 had spent the entirety of their late afternoon and evening at an apartment fire, the call tiring out most of the house, some barely eating dinner before calling it a night. Glancing towards the cracked door of the Captain's office, he could see there was at least a lamp on, the light peeking out from the cracks showing the high probability that Casey was still awake. Pushing himself up off the mattress, he slowly walked through the maze of bunks. All the blinds to the Captain's office were drawn, aside from the one on the door, Herrmann seeing that Casey was in fact still awake, the man in question leaned over his desk working on paperwork. The older firefighter quietly pulled the door open, tapping lightly on the frame to alert Matt of his presence. Casey turned from his desk, nodding towards his bunk without a word.
Looking to the right, that was when Herrmann first noticed Gabby's residence in the room, the woman curled up in Casey's bed, sleeping soundly under a blanket that had been thrown over her. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that she was still in there, Herrmann knowing that aside from about half an hour before their last call, and then some time during dinner, Gabby had spent the majority of her afternoon here.
"Oh, sorry Captain." He murmured, Casey waving him off.
"It's fine, she's been out for awhile. What's up?" Matt questioned, setting his pen down on top of his papers.
"Uh, can we talk? Maybe somewhere a little more private." Herrmann suggested, his eyes on Gabby while he spoke before they shifted back to Casey, Matt wearing a look of confusion but nodding nonetheless.
"Yeah, sure." He agreed, standing up from his chair, sparing one last glance to Gabby's sleeping form before following Herrmann from the room. He placed the door softly back against the frame, seeing Herrmann already headed out into the hallway. Matt followed his path, the pair ending up out in the garage. Even with the doors down, the chill in the cold Chicago air couldn't be escaped out here.
"Okay, what is it Herrmann?" Matt asked, the cold metal seeping through his clothes as he leaned against squad's rig, his legs crossed at the ankles.
"I know about the attack." He blurted out, Matt's neck tensing as his words registered.
"What?" He questioned, his demeanor faltering.
"I know Dawson was attacked." He repeated, even though both of them knew he didn't need to. Casey was well aware of what he meant the first time.
"How do you know that?"
Blowing out a deep sigh, Herrmann came and leaned against the rig next to Casey. "I went to go check on her after everything with Foster, and when I was coming to your office, I heard her... talking about being attacked."
Biting his tongue harshly, Matt clenched his throat, feeling Herrmann's eyes on him.
"Herrmann…"
"Is she alright? What happened to her, Casey? Is that really why she came back?"
"Herrmann." His voice came out stronger than he intended, trying to stop the man's rambling. "She's okay." He continued, Herrmann blowing out a sigh of relief. "I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what happened, if she wants you to know she'll tell you, but she's getting through it. We're getting through it." Matt spoke softly, knowing there was no way to unring this bell. He had to be somewhat honest with the man in front of him, Matt fearing he'd try and use other methods of getting answers to his questions if he ignored him completely.
"Good, that's good." He started, the man clearly caught up in his own thoughts. "I… I don't even know what to say to her. How can I help her? Are you sure she's okay?" It was like every time Herrmann opened his mouth, he worked himself back up. Matt couldn't say he blamed him, knowing the close relationship he and Gabby always had, it wasn't shocking that Herrmann was having this type of reaction, but he needed to remain level-headed.
"You don't say anything to her." He answered quickly, Herrmann looking up at him. "Not about this, you don't."
"Casey-"
"I'm serious, Herrmann. Unless she comes to you, don't bring it up. She's getting the help she needs, I can assure you of that, but it hasn't been easy. You bringing it up could only make things harder for her, alright?" Matt's tone left no room for negotiation, Herrmann deciding against standing his ground. As much as he wanted to help her, he knew it'd be best to follow whatever Casey said.
"Okay, I won't say anything." Herrmann complied, Matt nodding as a silent thank you before his body relaxed against the rig.
"Is that… is it how she got that scar?" The older man asked after a few moments.
"Yeah." Matt replied shortly, Herrmann grimacing at the response.
Herrmann opened his mouth to ask more questions he wasn't sure he'd get answers to, but a noise from behind the rig caught their attention, the sound of metal banging into the concrete floor ringing throughout the large room, followed by a muttering of a string of curse words. Pushing himself off the rig, Matt quickly walked around the front of the firetruck, Herrmann hot on his trail as they came face to face with Foster, the woman wearing a regretful look on her face.
"I..." She started to speak, but couldn't find the right words.
Matt felt his body go numb, not even needing to ask her if she'd heard what they were talking about, the look on her face was confirmation enough. Gabby had been very clear she wanted no one knowing anything about what happened to her, and now two more people in the firehouse knew, one of which Matt was sure Gabby definitely did not want knowing what she'd gone through.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Matt blew out a harsh breath as Foster began walking towards them.
"Captain-"
"Forget you heard anything." He spoke firmly, his eyes moving between the two before focusing back on Foster. "That's an order." Matt turned on his heels and headed for the double doors before there was any room for discussion, hearing nothing but silence as he slipped back into the firehouse, desperate to forget the events of the past ten minutes.
Yeah, I definitely did not intend for the entire chapter to be Gabby's shift at 51. I originally had a second part to this with another storyline, but it just got way too long so that'll be in the next chapter.
For clarification, I really am not trying to make Foster out to be the bad guy. I don't know enough about her character on the show to have an opinion one way or the other, and I couldn't say whether or not I think her and Gabby would be friends cause I just simply know nothing about her. But there's gotta be some conflict yanno? I'm sorry if you guys like her, I promise there won't always be so much tension between her and Gabby. I always do my best to keep the characters as close to in-character as possible, but with Foster I'm pretty much flying blind. It's fun in some aspects, because really I get to do whatever I want with her character, but it also comes with its downsides because I don't know how to accurately portray her in a situation like this. I hope you guys still liked it and didn't think it was too much.
Thanks for reading! If you can, please leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. And thank you all for the continued support with this story and my writing in general, it means the world to me.