Well, here it is. The chapter I know many of you have been waiting for. There's nothing I really need to say, except I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Gabby blew out an impatient breath as she sat in the hospital bed, Jemma having left to get them both a snack from the vending machine. The nurse had come in over an hour and a half ago to draw her blood, and no one had been back since. Despite Gabby being thankful for Dr. Rhodes' caution, she knew these blood tests would come back fine. There was nothing wrong with her, she knew it was just a precaution. But the longer she had to wait, the more antsy she became. And she felt bad for making Jemma wait as well.

Norris had been in constant contact with the house, letting their Chief know what all was going on, that they were keeping Dawson for further testing. Their ambulance had been taken out of service for the time being, the two women stuck in the hospital until Gabby was set free, which she hoped would be any minute now.

The sliding of the glass door caught her attention, Gabby looking up to see Connor walking in, iPad in hand. Tilting her head slightly, her forehead creased in confusion, wondering why Dr. Rhodes had come back to see her.

"Hey Dawson," He greeted, his eyes bouncing around the small room. "Did Casey leave?"

Nodding slowly, she responded. "He had a call, apartment fire."

"Oh, yeah. We've been getting a lot of patients from that one." He commented, Gabby nodding again. "So, I know I said I wouldn't be back, and I was hoping Casey would've still been here, but I was looking over your bloodwork and something caught my eye." He began, Gabby feeling her heart start to pound in her chest. For as sure as she'd been that nothing was wrong, now she couldn't help but wonder what he might've found.

"What is it?" She found her voice, her throat feeling dry as the cautious words left her lips.

"You're pregnant, Gabby." He spoke with a gentle smile.

The second the words left his mouth, she froze. Her eyes widened slightly, her pounding heart nearly stopping as it dropped to her stomach, fear and panic coursing through her veins.

She couldn't be pregnant. She couldn't be. Not when her and Matt were just beginning to figure this out, not when they hadn't even decided on how they would expand their family. This couldn't be happening to them right now.

She felt like she couldn't breathe, like her entire body had stopped functioning. She vaguely heard Dr. Rhodes ask her a question, but she couldn't make it out, his words sounding muffled and far away. Her body felt like it was on fire, worry creeping up her throat as her mind tried to comprehend what this meant. What it meant for them, what it meant for her, and how dangerous this pregnancy was. It felt impossible to digest the magnitude of this, like this wasn't something real. She didn't know how to feel about this news that, at one point, would've been the best thing to happen to them.

And she had no idea how Matt would react.

Except she did have some idea, and she was terrified. She feared what this would do to them and everything they'd rebuilt, knowing how he was openly against the idea of her carrying their baby, not willing to risk losing her. She knew he'd be scared, and he'd probably be angry. But would his anger be directed at her, she wasn't sure.

He was so against her carrying their child because of the risks, but that was even before she'd gotten pregnant. If he had that much anger and strong feelings before it had even become real, how would he handle this? Would he blame her? Would he think she did this on purpose?

Her terrified thoughts were crushing her, holding her down as the weight of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks. She was carrying a baby, her and Matt's baby. A baby they'd always wanted, but it felt like they were never meant to have. A baby that they'd tried so hard to create, but were never able to. A baby that could kill her.

Ever since getting together with Matt, she dreamed of the day she'd find out about her being pregnant with their child. She imagined how she'd tell him, and how excited they'd both be. How their eyes would be filled with happy tears, knowing their dream was becoming a reality. But this, this wasn't something that should be happening right now. She shouldn't be pregnant, and despite how determined she'd been all those months ago that she would be the one to carry their baby, now that it was happening, she'd never been more scared.

This child could kill her. This life she and Matt created could take away hers, the life she fought so hard to get back. It could take her away from Matt. And she was terrified.

But there was also a small part of her that felt a little bit of happiness, despite what it meant for her. Knowing that her and Matt had created something so wonderful, she couldn't help but feel a small sliver of pride. There was a baby inside of her, a life that was part her and part Matt, created through nothing but love. This is what she'd always wanted, what they always wanted. And now they had it.

But it wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Tears clouded her vision as her mixed emotions of fear and hesitant joy morphed into devastation, knowing of all the possible outcomes of this pregnancy, most of them were not good. The few tears turned into many as they escaped down her cheeks, a sob ripping through her chest as her hand came up to cover her mouth.

"Gabby?" Jemma's concerned voice echoed in her ears, sounding oddly far away but she was sure it wasn't. "What's wrong?"

Another sob escaped her lips as she cradled her head in her hands, the tears streaming down her face seemingly endless as her body began to shake. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but couldn't process much else as grief consumed her. This wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to get pregnant.

There was almost no possible way for this to have a happy ending, and she knew it. She couldn't see a scenario in which this played out in their favor. She had just gotten Matt back, they had finally worked through their problems, and this was going to mess everything up.

"Gabby, what can I do?" Jemma's panicked voice broke through her thoughts again, the girl sounding helpless and worried. "Do you need me to call Matt, I don't know-"

"No, don't!" Gabby spoke immediately, Jemma's words snapping her from her thoughts. Norris' eyes widened at her response, not expecting such a panicked reaction.

"Okay, okay I won't." She assured her, Gabby nodding slowly as more tears fell from her eyes. Jemma wasn't sure what to do, not knowing how to help her clearly distraught friend.

Gabby's frantic eyes bounced around the room, noticing that Dr. Rhodes was nowhere in sight, having stepped out at some point during her emotional reaction, mostly likely once Jemma had returned to help.

"Are you okay?" Jemma softly spoke, her voice causing Gabby to look back at her, continuous tears sliding down her red cheeks as a wave of nausea flew through her.

"...I'm pregnant."

Gabby saw the conflicting emotions play out on Jemma's face, an immediate smile falling onto her face as her eyes lit up, but the smile was gone as quickly as it came, her gaze shifting into confusion.

"But that's a good thing, isn't it? … It's what you and Matt wanted, right?" Her cautious voice spoke, trying to understand why this news was eliciting such a response from Dawson.

Wiping the fresh tears off her cheeks, they were quickly replaced by new ones as Gabby's head shook side to side.

"No… it's not."

"I'm pregnant." The shaky words tasted bitter as they left her mouth, Gabby forcing herself to keep her eyes open as she watched him. She saw the exact moment her words registered, his look of concern and worry morphing into a blank stare, his face white as a ghost.

Matt's body went rigid as the few words left her lips, every muscle in his body tensing, a loud ringing sound filling his ears. He felt frozen, like time had stopped as those two words washed over him.

Two words that changed everything.

He felt like he couldn't comprehend anything at this moment, like his brain had short-circuited. That maybe he misheard her, or maybe this was some sick joke. But he couldn't accept this was happening to them, this had to be a mistake. That her blood work had gotten mixed up with someone else's, or the results were wrong. She couldn't be pregnant, they had been so careful, Gabby taking her birth control religiously knowing this wasn't something they could handle right now.

But this was real, and they had to deal with it. He just didn't know how. He didn't know what to do, he needed someone to tell him what to do.

Silent moments passed, more tears falling down her face as he had yet to react. He'd gone quiet, his eyes still on her but it was like he was looking through her. His mind was elsewhere, and Gabby had no idea what was going on in his head.

"Please say something…" Her quivering voice pleaded, "Matt." His shining eyes snapped back into focus, the look of shock covering his face turning into one of sorrow.

"I…" His mouth kept opening and shutting, unable to form a coherent thought as the haze cleared from his mind, and the true reality of the situation hit him.

He could lose her. This child, their child, could kill her. And he couldn't handle that.

"You're sure- you're sure you're pregnant?" He stuttered out, his soft voice barely audible despite the silence in the room. She responded with a slow, sad nod, tears clouding in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Her voice was hoarse, Gabby clearing her throat before continuing. "When Dr. Rhodes first told me, I lost it. I didn't know what to do, and I broke down." She explained quietly, Matt nodding sadly. "But after I calmed down, he came back and showed me the blood work. I'm definitely pregnant." Her voice faltered as the last word left her lips, Matt's body stiffening once more.

His hand slid off her waist, Matt hunching forward as he rested his head in his hands, Gabby missing the warm comfort his contact gave her. She stared at him for a moment, watching as he took slow, deep breaths.

She was scared of what was going to happen now, and his reaction so far hadn't given her much assurance, but she knew she needed to give him a second to let this sink in. She'd had hours to deal with this, and she still hasn't come to terms with it. He'd only learned about this minutes ago, she owed it to him to let him process this life-altering news.

"I don't know- I mean what do we… God, Gabby I don't know what to do." He cried out, shooting up from the bed quickly, his movement startling Gabby as he began to pace in front of her.

"I know." She responded quietly, slowly adjusting her body to sit up. She reached out for him, trying to get him to stop but he wasn't able to focus on her actions.

"This wasn't supposed to happen, not when it can ki-" He cut himself off, not able to say the words out loud, continuing his small steps back and forth by the bed.

"I know." Her sad voice repeated again, Gabby taking a slow breath as she watched him, tears filling her eyes. "I'm so sorry," She started, Matt's movements halting immediately. "I didn't want it to happen like this." She whispered, his eyes snapping towards her as he heard the pain in her voice. "I never meant for this, I hope you don't think I did this on purpose, because I didn't." The fog his mind was in cleared completely as he listened to her blame herself, listened to her worry about him being angry at her. Matt moved back towards the bed instantly, shaking his head as he sat back down, reaching out for her hand.

"Gabby-"

"I know I was dead set on getting pregnant last time, but I wouldn't do that to you. Not when I know how you feel about this, and what it did to us last time. This was an accident, and I don't know what we're gonna do but I'm so sorry." She cried, Matt feeling his heart constrict in his chest.

"Hey, listen to me." He spoke softly, forcing his own emotions aside as he looked at the broken woman in front of him. No matter what he was feeling right now, he knew this had destroyed her. He couldn't sit here and let her continue to think this was her fault. "I don't blame you for this, okay? I could never blame you for this. I'm not upset with you, you didn't do anything wrong. I mean, if we're placing blame on either of us, it would be my fault really. But I know you would never do this on purpose, alright?." He assured her, hating that on top of the news alone, she was worried about him placing blame on her. Gabby watched closely as fresh tears slid down her cheeks, slowly absorbing the words he was saying. "This isn't your fault."

She nodded slowly, Matt bringing his free hand up to wipe away the water from her skin.

"I'm scared, Matt." She nearly whimpered, a deep frown etching into his face as he nodded in agreement. "I mean if I'm being honest, a small part of me is happy. How could I not be happy about us getting pregnant?" She asked softly, Matt remaining silent. "But I am so scared… I don't know what we're gonna do. But I can't do this without you, I can't have this break us apart again." Tears were rapidly descending down her cheeks, Matt wiping them away quickly.

"I don't know what we're gonna do either." He replied honestly, the emotion in his voice betraying him. "I really don't. But we're gonna get through it together, I promise you." His voice was firm, lessening her fears. "Whatever this means for us, we're gonna figure it out... And I'm terrified of this, I am. I can't- I can't lose you." He stuttered out, the tears he'd been holding in his eyes finally escaping. "That's not something I can live with, and I don't know how to fix this…" He whispered, Gabby squeezing his hand tightly. "But the only thing I know to do is wait for your appointment and see what Dr. Tanner says. Then we'll go from there." He breathed out, quickly wiping the tears from his skin. "We'll see what she thinks we should do, what the, uh… what options we have." Gabby's body stiffened, knowing they had to look into all the options and come to a decision together. She knew that terminating the pregnancy might be the best course of action for them, but she couldn't think of that as real option, not until she had all the information. "I'm so scared, Gabby. I am. But we're gonna figure it out, alright? I promise, we will." He assured her gently, forcing his voice to be as steady as possible, the words leaving his mouth just as much for him as they were for her.

With a slight nod, Gabby slowly laid back down on the bed, pulling on Matt's hand gently, silently urging him to lay with her. Understanding her request, he dropped her hand and stood up, adjusting his angle before climbing into bed next to her, Gabby clinging to him the second he was within reach. Her arm wrapped around his waist, Matt letting her fall into his hold as he put both arms around her. He felt her body trembling slightly, tears still slowly falling down her cheeks as they hit his chest.

As they laid in bed clutching onto one another, Matt felt as if he was breaking inside. Ever since those words left her mouth, he'd slowly started to crumble. He knew he had to try and be strong for her, but it felt impossible. It felt like he was sinking, and there was nothing to lift him back to the surface.

Never in his life did he imagine the news of his and Gabby's baby would elicit such an unwelcome feeling within him. Having always wanted children, he pictured himself to be overjoyed and filled with warmth, maybe a little nervous but completely content. That's how he pictured finding out he was becoming a dad, how he pictured he'd react to having the child he'd always wanted with the woman he'd always wanted. But this, this was not something he could be happy about. Despite Gabby feeling a little bit of excitement about the news, he couldn't. He'd been consumed by fear the minute he found out, and that feeling had yet to go away. His stomach had sunk like a rock, his body feeling weighed down by this. He felt completely overtaken with dread, and a small part of him couldn't help but resent the life they'd created. Because there was a chance it could take the most important person he has away from him.

He never imagined that Gabby telling him she's pregnant would result in him having such negative feelings towards their unborn child, but he couldn't help it. He wanted a child so badly, he always has, but not without Gabby. Not when he'd be left to raise their child alone, knowing this is what had taken the love of his life away from him.

Deep down, he knew no matter what happened, god forbid if they're able to have this child, he'll love them no matter what. There's no way he wouldn't be completely enamored by a life that's part him and part Gabby. But right now, he can't even think of that being a possibility. He can't lay here and think of how amazing and perfect their child would be. How maybe they'd have a son, who was all Gabby in terms of appearance, but otherwise was completely his father. Or maybe a little girl, the spitting image of Gabby with her brown eyes and curly brown hair, who would have him hooked from the start. For years, he'd imagined over and over what their child would look like, who they'd take after more, but now he couldn't bear the thought of it. Not when there was so much uncertainty around this pregnancy and what it could do to Gabby.

He couldn't think of this child as real, not right now. Not when it could take his world away from him.

Movement pulled him from his deep thoughts, feeling Gabby hook her leg up over his thigh, entangling them together as he felt her trembling body begin to shake more. Glancing down, he saw her fighting back tears as her grip subconsciously tightened on him. Drawing in a deep breath, he placed a kiss to the top of her head, pulling her closer, her body now half way on top of him.

"We're gonna figure this out." He murmured, hearing Gabby intake a sharp breath. "Whatever we have to do, we're gonna get through it together." His soft assurance opened the floodgates, her silent tears quickly turning into sobs as she broke down. Matt blinked back the tears filling his eyes, a few escaping as he listened to her cry, his heart continuing to break more than he thought possible.

Despite his desperate need to comfort her, he knew all he could do now was hold her and let her cry. There was nothing he could do to fix this, and he knew they needed time to process what all this meant. But he also knew they couldn't completely process this pregnancy until they met with the doctor. The next two weeks were going to be filled with fear and worry, Matt knowing this weight wouldn't leave his chest until their appointment. And even then, there was no telling what kind of news Dr. Tanner would have for them, if there was any bright spot to this at all. If there was any possible way for them to have this baby without the possibility of losing Gabby.

Matt wouldn't be able to breathe easily again until they had figured out what they were going to do, and he was sure Gabby felt the same way.

Drawing in an unsteady breath, Matt didn't bother to keep his tears at bay as Gabby sobbed against his chest, his body slightly trembling as their resolve weakened entirely. Feeling his shaking form under her, Gabby tightened her hold on him, shifting her body until she was laying on him completely, her thighs hooked over his hips. His eyes closed tightly as he moved his arms around her back, Gabby tucking her head into his neck as they cried together. Her hand came up to cradle the side of his tear stained cheek, one of his hands coming up to hold her head against him, their trembling bodies molding together as they held onto one another like their lives depended on it.

They knew the only way they'd get through this was by doing it together. They were going to need each other, they had to lean on one another, support each other. There was no way for them to get through this otherwise.

Matt blew out a heavy sigh as he tucked his white shirt into his pants, his eyes glancing towards the bathroom door every few seconds, waiting for Gabby to appear any second. She'd gone in there nearly forty minutes ago to get ready for shift, the two passing ships as they moved around the room this morning. But she had yet to emerge, and he knew she'd need to leave soon to get to work on time.

After lacing up his boots, he pushed himself up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, knowing he might need to prompt Gabby into getting ready a little quicker. But when he stepped into the doorway, he froze in his spot at the image in front of him. Gabby was standing still looking at herself in the mirror, her damp hair wrapped up on top of her head. But what caused him to stop was her stance, Gabby loosely holding the towel with her left hand resting on her chest, the material open across her front as she stood still, her right hand placed lightly over her stomach, barely pressing into the smooth skin. She hadn't moved since he'd been standing there, seemingly fixated on her flat stomach, her fingers ghosting over the area.

Clearing his throat, her head snapped over to look at him, a look of surprise crossing her face before it settled into one he couldn't read, Gabby closing the towel and holding it over her body. "Sorry, I just don't want you to be late for work." He murmured, Gabby's eyes flickering towards the clock on the wall, seeing she had less than fifteen minutes before she needed to leave.

With a slow nod, she plastered a small smile onto her face, one that didn't reach her eyes. "Okay, thank you."

She began quickly going through her routine, Matt watching her intently from the doorway as she haphazardly got ready for work.

This wasn't the first time Matt had seen her like this since they'd gotten the news a few days ago. The morning after he found out, he'd woken up to find the bed empty and cold, his sore eyes adjusting to the light in the room as he sat up on his elbows, needing a few seconds for his vision to come into focus. But what he found made his stomach sink, a frown forming on his lips as he saw Gabby standing in front of their mirror, her shirt lifted up under her breasts as she stared at her stomach. When he made his presence known, she immediately burst into tears, the magnitude of everything hitting her all over again. He'd instantly gotten out of bed, grabbing ahold of her and letting her cry, eventually leading her back to bed and holding onto her until she fell back asleep.

There had been a lot of that the past two days, both of them unable to control their emotions, albeit Matt did everything he could to stay strong for her. One minute they'd be okay, and the next they'd be in tears, thankful the other was there to help them through it. Matt had suggested her calling into work yesterday, to which she quickly agreed and spent the day at home with him, both of them knowing she wasn't in the right mindset to go to shift.

But now it was a new day, and both of them had to work. He just wasn't sure if it was the best idea.

"You sure you don't need to call in sick again?" He spoke quietly, Gabby walking towards the doorway and slipping past him. "I can talk to Boden, let him know I can't come in."

"No, I'm fine." She replied, Matt turning around to see her moving towards the dresser, pulling out her clothes for shift.

"Gabby…" He started, Gabby rubbing her hand over her temple before looking up at him.

"I'm okay enough to go to work." She rephrased, Matt's gaze softening. "I promise, I am. There's not much we can do until my appointment, but I can't just stop living my life until then. I need to do something, I have to-" She cut herself off, Matt approaching her slowly as he nodded. "I need the distraction. I know I can't run away from this, but until we go see Dr. Tanner, we have no idea what this means." Her free hand moved back to her stomach, Matt's eyes following her movement as he stopped in front of her. "I need to keep busy or I'm gonna go insane…" Her voice had dropped to a whisper, Matt's hands coming up to rest on her bare arms, squeezing lightly.

"I get it, I do." He assured her. "I just wanted to check." Placing a soft kiss to her forehead, he stepped away from her and began to gather his things. Gabby watched him intently as he moved through the room, unable to get a read on him before he disappeared out of the room. Blowing out a heavy sigh, she glanced up at the clock once more, cursing under her breath as she realized how late she was going to be if she didn't leave soon.

Over the next few minutes, the two silently moved throughout the apartment, Matt waiting for her even though he was probably going to be late. He made their coffee, and got her coat and gloves set out while she quickly got dressed. By the time she emerged from the bedroom, it was five minutes past when they normally leave, Gabby rushing around quickly as she finished getting ready, Matt waiting for her by the back door.

After locking up the apartment, they both rushed to their cars, their usual routine forgotten as Matt gave her a quick kiss, muttering a goodbye and be safe before hurrying to his truck, pulling out into the road before Gabby even got the chance to get her car turned on.

Taking a steadying breath, Gabby blinked back the tears in her eyes as she headed for work. She knew things would be hard, and the uncertainty around them would be almost suffocating until they knew more. But she couldn't let herself get overtaken by this. She couldn't stop her entire life waiting for what options they had for this pregnancy. No matter how much she wants to, she can't just shut down and wait. But it was hard. Every breath she took felt heavy, like every time she breathed it was expending every ounce of energy she had.

She knew she had to keep herself together for the time being, but it felt impossible.

Gabby closed her locker shut, jumping slightly as Jemma's body came into view beside her, Norris placing a soft hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She apologized, Gabby waving her off.

"It's fine." Gabby responded quietly, locking the door and heading towards the exit, feeling Jemma following closely behind her.

"So… I'm glad to see you back." She commented, Gabby stopping in the bunkroom and turning to face Jemma. Dawson merely nodded, her arms crossing over her chest as she looked to the ground. "Are you feeling better?"

Shrugging, Gabby spared at glance at her friend, seeing the worried expression resting over her face. "Yeah, I'm good."

Jemma nodded, clearly not convinced by the words Gabby said. She'd been worried about her friend since the day at the hospital three days ago, having called Gabby once but never getting a call back. She knew it wasn't personal, having seen the breakdown up close and personal she knew Gabby was going through more than she'd ever admit, but she needed to know her friend was okay.

"Look, I'm not gonna ask you to talk about this." Norris started, Gabby breathing deeply as she finally looked up from the ground. After Gabby confided that this pregnancy wasn't a good thing at the hospital, she hadn't said much else, leaving Jemma confused and concerned until Gabby got sent home. And not wanting to force her to open up before she was ready, Norris never pushed for more details. "Whatever this all means, that's between you and Matt. I'm here if you need me, but this doesn't concern me so we can drop it after this if you want." Jemma told her, Gabby nodding slowly. "But I just need to know you're okay to work, that you're able to work. I don't want to let Chief send you out there if you can't, or shouldn't, be working."

"I'm okay." Gabby firmly spoke, forcing the emotion away from her voice as she answered her friend.

"Okay." Jemma responded with an understanding nod, knowing not to push anymore. Bells ringing throughout the house shifted their focus, calling them to a patient across town who needed their help. "Well, let's do it."

Gabby nodded, letting Jemma take the lead towards the ambulance, following after her quietly, hoping being here would serve as the distraction she so desperately needed.

Matt moved swiftly through the garage, intent on heading back towards his office now that they'd gotten back from their first call of the day.

Things in the firehouse had turned tense, the mood having shifted the second truck's Captain stomped into the firehouse this morning, ignoring any and all attempts at his friends talking to him as he immediately went to the locker room. He'd spent all of thirty seconds in there, conversation coming to a halt as he threw his bag into the small space and slamming the door shut, the loud noise echoing through the house before he exited quickly. No one in the locker room knew what to say, not having seen Matt act like this since Gabby left. It had gone quiet around the house, until they heard the unmistakable sound of his office door slamming.

The first few hours of shift, everyone knew better than to try and talk to him. Whatever this about, although they assumed to have a pretty good idea of the source of his anger, they didn't want to go to him when he was in such a bad mood. It wouldn't end well for any of them, knowing they would most likely get put on bathroom duty if they crossed him.

In the past, when Casey had gotten like this for whatever the reason, Gabby would be the person to go to him, everyone else knowing well enough to leave him alone until given the all clear. Then after everything, that role had been filled by Kelly. But even today, Severide seemed to want to keep his distance, sensing whatever had happened was not anything good.

When the first call came in, they saw Casey running towards the rig as they made their way out of the common room, Matt falling into his Captain's role seamlessly, giving the orders he needed while they were out saving lives. But as soon as they'd packed up, he fell back into that quiet, distant headspace, the man not saying one word the entire trip back.

"Casey, wait up." Herrmann called as he jumped down from the rig, Matt's shoulder's tensing as he stopped his path, his eyes falling closed, listening to the boots approaching him.

"What Herrmann." He spoke shortly, seeing the older man come to stand in front of him.

"Yeah, it's just uh- are you okay?" He lowered his voice substantially, but Matt could feel every pair of eyes on him, the entire house aside from ambo out in the garage.

"I'm fine, Herrmann." He bit out, Herrmann taking a slight step back.

"Okay, well if you need anything let me know." He gave in, not wanting to make the situation worse. Matt merely nodded, side stepping the man before continuing his path towards the double doors, everyone watching in silence as he quickly disappeared through the doors.

Blowing out a sigh, Herrmann ran his hand over his mouth before shifting his gaze to Kelly, the younger firefighter wearing the same look of concern.

"You know what's causing that?" Herrmann asked him, Kelly shrugging.

"No idea."

"You think something happened between…" His voice trailed off, a flash of something flickering in Kelly's eyes, but Herrmann couldn't read it.

"I don't know, Herrmann." He replied, Kelly seeing the concerned eyes flashing around the room. "Alright, show's over people. Go do something useful." He ordered before heading for the same double doors Matt disappeared through.

Following the familiar path towards the bunkroom, Kelly wasn't surprised to see Casey in his office with the door shut. But he was surprised to see the man pacing, his head resting in his hand as he moved back and forth through the small space. Taking a deep breath, Kelly walked past his own office towards Matt's, bringing his hand up to knock softly against the door.

Matt's pacing stopped immediately, Kelly frowning when he saw the devastated look covering Casey's face, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Despite not being invited in, Kelly opened the door, leaning against its frame as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What's going on, Matt?" His worried voice filled the space, Casey shifting towards his desk, leaning his body weight against it.

"It's nothing." He commented dryly, clearing his throat.

"Bullshit. What happened?"

"Nothing." Matt replied harshly, knowing he was in no place to talk to anyone here about this. Even though it was only Kelly, he and Gabby hadn't talked about what to do in terms of telling anyone, or in a few weeks if there'd even be a pregnancy to tell people about. He knew he couldn't talk about it right now.

"Okay, well you wanna go out there and tell everyone you've been brooding around here all morning over nothing?" He shot back, Matt deflating slightly. "This isn't nothing, you look like you're about to cry. That's not nothing. What happened between you and Gabby?"

Matt's eyes narrowed at the tone of Severide's voice, feeling defensive after the insinuation. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Why do you just assume something happened?"

"Well, am I wrong?" He questioned, getting his answer when Matt went silent. "Exactly. And she's the only person who can get you acting like this. Now what happened?"

Casey watched him for a moment, his guard dropping as a hand came up to rub across his forehead, willing the pounding headache that had formed to go away.

"Severide, please just drop it." Matt pleaded, his voice unsteady as he forced the forming tears away. "Nothing happened between us, it's not like that it's just- please leave it alone. I can't- I can't talk about it right now." His voice cracked as every emotion he'd been holding onto reached the surface.

"Okay, okay." Kelly gave in, his voice soft as he watched his friend breaking right in front of him. "If you can't tell me right now, don't. But just know that whatever this is, whatever is going on with you… with both of you, you're not alone here."

Matt nodded, a lone tear sliding down his cheek as his head fell into his hands, his hard exterior cracking, forcing himself to take a long steady breath.

He'd done everything he could to stay strong for Gabby the last few days, seeing first hand what this news had done to her. He'd forced himself to be a rock for her, and even though he had wavered a few times over the past 48 hours he'd done what he could to focus all his energy on making sure Gabby was okay. But now that she wasn't here, he'd let go of that facade he had been clinging to, and all that was left was pain and devastation. Since the night she first told him, he hadn't let himself feel it. He forced it away as much as he could, refusing to think about what this might do to them.

But now he had nothing left. He couldn't pretend anymore, he couldn't keep being strong despite feeling like everything was falling apart. He couldn't do it anymore.

That single tear morphed into dozens that began continuously rolling down his cheeks, Matt's body shaking as he collapsed down into his desk chair, hunching over onto his knees.

A deep frown formed across Severide's face, his eyes shining with worry as he walked towards Casey, his friend's silent cries feeling like a punch to the gut. Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, he remained a strong, silent source of comfort as Matt broke. Whatever this was, whatever had happened had completely destroyed him. And if this is how Matt, the usually calm and level-headed Captain, was handling whatever this was, Kelly could only imagine what was going on with Dawson.

"I can't lose her." Matt's shaky voice broke through the silence, the frown on Severide's deepening, his eyes widening as the words hit him. "I can't lose her, Kelly." He spoke again, his voice laced in hurt.

Kelly didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to help him. How to help either of them. He didn't know what Matt meant, and before he could ask the bells rang out, signaling truck to help with an accident across town.

Just as quickly as the tears started, they stopped, Matt plastered a hard look on his face, wiping his eyes as he stood up, Kelly's hand falling from his shoulder. Without another word, Matt hurried from the office and left the bunkroom, leaving Kelly standing there confused and worried, wondering what the hell that meant.

Gabby was pulled into consciousness as she felt strong arms wrap around her waist under the covers, feeling a familiar warmth pressed against her back, her hands moving to rest over his.

"Matt?" She questioned softly, feeling him squeeze her gently.

"Go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you." His hoarse and tired voice spoke into her ear, Gabby turning her body slowly to face him, Matt giving her room and loosening his grip so she could adjust her position. When she eventually settled, she met his eyes, a small frown forming on her lips seeing his red eyes, clear evidence of tears and exhaustion written into his skin. Their faces were inches apart, Gabby bringing her hand up to rest against his cheek, her thumb moving softly across his skin as his eyes fell closed.

"Are you okay?" She questioned softly, but she already knew the answer. He clearly wasn't, and she was sure he could tell by the look on her face she wasn't either.

"I'm... no." He answered honestly, his eyes opening to find her again. "This is just- I'm so worried Gabby. And I'm scared." He admitted, tears clouding her eyes as she listened to his vulnerable words. "I'm trying not to be, until we go see the doctor, but this is killing me." His voice faltered, Gabby continuing to rub her hand over his cheek.

"I know." She responded softly, Matt moving his hand over her side lightly.

"I never thought finding out we're pregnant would make me feel like this, but I just don't know what to do. And I guess, when I woke up that morning after you told me, I focused all my attention on you and made sure you were alright. I stopped letting myself deal with it, and it came back to bite me in the ass." He spoke, an understanding smile falling onto her face.

"I'd kind of noticed that, yeah. You seemed to shut down a little bit, from yourself at least." She responded softly, Matt leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers.

"Yeah I know. And then at work yesterday, I lost it. I'd kept to myself, but you know how everyone is, they knew something was wrong." He spoke, Gabby nodding slightly. "And then Kelly came to talk to me and I just… I broke down. He was kind of worried about us already, but after what happened yesterday now he definitely is." His voice was low, Gabby continuing her method of comfort as he ran her thumb over his cheek. "I didn't tell him what was wrong, but he knows there's something going on. I didn't know what I could and couldn't tell him- we haven't really talked about what we're doing, if we're letting people know or not. So I have no clue what he thinks is going on."

"Yeah, I meant to bring that up before you went back to work but I just- it's been hard to focus on anything, I kept forgetting." She told him, Matt moving his lips a few inches forward to place a soft kiss against hers, Gabby reciprocating lightly before they pulled back.

"I know it has. These past few days have been a lot."

"Yeah." She agreed, clearing her throat. "But, uh, I don't know if we should tell anyone right now." Gabby's voice came out in a near whisper, Matt's eyes flickering over her face. "Or I guess… I would rather not tell anyone, if it's okay with you."

"I'm fine with whatever you want to do." He murmured, Gabby's hand sliding down to his neck.

"Okay, thank you." She replied, swallowing thickly. "I know we'll eventually have to tell them, if we end up keeping-" She cut herself off, her eyes falling closed as a lone tear slid down the side of her face. "Until we know exactly what we're doing…" She rephrased, "but I don't want to tell anyone until then."

"That's fine, Gabby." He assured her, pulling her body closer to his.

"Because I know that whatever we end up deciding to do, we're gonna have to tell everyone. Tell them everything," she explained, stopping to take a slow breath. "But I don't think I can handle explaining more than we need to. I'd rather wait until we know what we're doing."

"I agree." He spoke quietly. "We need to figure out what we're doing first, give ourselves time to process that, whatever it is. And then we can decide what we'll tell everyone." He told her gently, Gabby nodding slowly, their foreheads connecting again as they closed their eyes, listening intently to each other's breathing.

They laid there connected for a few moments, both needing the comfort this simple contact gave them. It was harder than they anticipated, being away from each other for the first time since finding out about the pregnancy. Despite them both being very independent people, sometimes to a fault, they both found it hard to not have the other to immediately turn to when things got bleak. And Gabby couldn't help but feel guilty, knowing in all the times he'd asked her if she was okay to work, she never asked him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you yesterday." She murmured, breaking their prolonged silence, opening her eyes slowly to find him already watching her.

"You don't have to apologize…"

"I know. But I also know how awful it feels when all of that hits you at once, and I know how much it helps to have you there for me when it happens. I'm just sorry I couldn't be there." She explained, Matt nodding understandingly.

"I get what you mean, I'd feel the same way if the roles were reversed." He spoke, eyeing her curiously. "Speaking of, how did your shift go? I should've asked sooner, but were you okay?"

Releasing a soft sigh, she caught his line of sight, sliding her hand down his side to his lower back. "I was okay as I could be. I held it together, but we were pretty busy. That helped. Jemma kept asking me over and over if I was alright, can't say I blame her. But nothing happened while I was there." She told him quietly, Matt adjusting the comforter over them. "I had a moment last night, when I was alone. Everything kind of hit me again, but I'm okay." She assured him, being met by a sad smile from Matt.

"I'm sorry, you could've called me." He nearly whispered, Gabby leaning to place a soft kiss against his lips.

"It's okay. I was going to, but then I fell asleep. And then, well, you came home." Before she spoke again, she shifted in his grip slightly, moving down so her head fit in the crook of his neck, their bodies overlapping as they clung to one another in the comfort of their bed. "I'll just feel better once we can see Dr. Tanner. At least then we'll have some answers, no matter what they are, and there won't be any of this waiting around."

"I know." He agreed, slipping his hand under the comfortable shirt she was wearing, his palm covering the skin on her side.

Matt methodically ran circles over her skin, knowing how much that had always calmed her down in the past, the two falling back into a comfortable silence as they held one another. The longer they laid there, the more he felt his tense body relax. His exhaustion was getting the best of him, Matt having not gotten a lot of rest the night before, and from the way Gabby's body weight had collapsed into him and her slow breaths, she was close to falling asleep too.

Drawing in a deep breath, Matt brought his free hand up to hold onto her arm, feeling her snuggle deeper into him. Within minutes, she was fast asleep, her legs tangled with his as he let that same desire to rest take over him as well.

Kelly pulled open the heavy door leading into the bar, not at all surprised to see the vacancy in the building. It was early, just a little after nine in the morning, and this was definitely not a place that would be getting more business for at least twelve more hours. But he knew the one man he was looking for was here somewhere, and he needed to talk to him.

Severide padded through the empty bar, heading for the stock room silently. He was certain the man was here, overhearing him telling Stella about having to come in and sign for a shipment that morning after they got off shift.

Pushing open the swinging door, he found who he was looking for instantly, seeing Herrmann holding a clipboard in his hands as he sat on a barstool against the wall.

"Hey Herrmann." He called, the older man jumping slightly, surprise covering his face as he turned to find Kelly standing there.

"Oh man, Severide, you scared me.. What are you doing here?"

"Sorry, but we, uh, we need to talk." The seriousness in Kelly's tone caused Herrmann to stop, the man placing the board down on the desk and turning to face his friend.

With raised eyebrows, Herrmann responded. "Okay, shoot."

"I know this isn't my place, hell I don't even know what it is, but something's going on-"

"This is about Casey." Herrmann stated, Kelly eyeing him curiously. "Clearly something's going on there."

"Yeah… I don't know if you know anything, but I know how close you and Dawson are."

Herrmann's eyebrows furrowed at Kelly's words, the older man responding. "So this does have to do with Gabby." He spoke. "I figured that was the reason, Casey never gets that upset unless something's happened there. But I don't know anything, I haven't spoken to her in a few days."

"Yeah, Matt didn't say much but it has something to do with them."

"I wonder what happened, you think it was another fight?"

Blowing out a sigh, Kelly shrugged. "That was my first thought, but he swore up and down it was nothing like that, but he-"

"What?"

"Look, I have no idea what is going on, but the way Matt's acting, and what he said, I just…"

"You just what, Severide?" Herrmann asked, growing impatient.

"I think something's wrong with Gabby." Kelly breathed out, Herrmann's face immediately covered by a look of confusion.

"What, like because of something between her and Casey?"

"No, not like that. I think something's wrong with her, like medically there's something wrong."

Herrmann froze momentarily, his breath hitching for a split second as Kelly's words sunk in. "Why would you say that?"

"Matt kept saying that nothing happened between them, and he kept begging me to drop it. But he looked so upset, almost defeated. I don't know if I've ever seen him look like that before. And he was crying." Kelly told him, Herrmann listening intently. "Then he said 'I can't lose her'." Severide spoke, the older man's spine straightening at the words hit his ears.

"... Did he say anything else?" Herrmann asked quietly after a few moments, his brain trying to determine if there could be any truth to what Severide was saying.

Shrugging lightly, Kelly blew out a breath. "Not really. Matt seemed adamant about not being able to talk about it right now, he wouldn't saying anything."

Herrmann nodded slowly, neither man saying anything for a few seconds.

"But I just don't know… I've got a bad feeling about this, Herrmann."

Rubbing his hand over his mouth, Herrmann thought over everything he'd just heard. Even though he didn't want to jump to conclusions, it was hard not to with everything Kelly told him. He wanted to believe this was all a misunderstanding, that something else was going on and everything had just gotten twisted into more than it was. But deep down, he knew that wasn't likely.

"What should we do? Should we even do anything?" Herrmann asked softly.

"Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that whatever's going on, they're gonna need people around them. Because something is wrong, I just don't know what it is." Severide spoke surely. "I reminded Matt that everyone at 51 was here for them, but I just- I thought you should know about this. I know you know what happened to Gabby in Puerto Rico, and with everything she's going through already, I don't want them thinking they're alone in this."

"But we don't even know what this is, how are we supposed to help them?"

"I… I don't know, Herrmann. But seeing Matt yesterday… he's broken. Whatever this is, it's completely destroyed him. And I can only imagine how Gabby's handling it." He replied, Herrmann eyeing him cautiously. "If you would've seen him, Herrmann, you wouldn't be looking at me like that right now." Kelly told him firmly, the man's gaze softening. "Look, I came to you because I know how much Gabby means to you. She's like a daughter to you, Herrmann, and I just… I think something bad is going on here."

Sighing deeply, Herrmann brought his hand up to rub over the side of his face, a thick silence filling the room as Kelly's words hung tightly around them. Both men knew something was wrong, and they both wanted nothing more than to help their friends, their family. But they didn't know how.

Well, there it is. I know this chapter was pretty heavy from start to finish, but this definitely isn't an easy thing for them to deal with. Thank you for being patient and waiting a little longer on this one. Unfortunately for me, I spent the first couple days of my vacation sick, but fortunately for you I was able to get you guys this chapter quicker than I thought. I'm still here for a few more days but once I get home I'm hoping to get back to my regular updating pace.

I would love to tell you Dawsey has gotten through the worst of it, but I can't. There are some difficult things coming for them, but I think you all will enjoy it nonetheless.

Thanks for reading. I'm excited to see what you all thought of this one!