Hello hello hello. I hope you all enjoy this one. Settle in, it's officially the longest chapter yet by far, like over 2k words longer than my longest chapter before this. So yeah, maybe get a snack. Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty Nine
"So, anything new to report?" Herrmann's usually vocal tone was quiet as he came up from behind Severide, the man turning away from his open locker to find the firefighter a few steps away from him.
Blowing out a sigh, Kelly spared a glance around the locker room before responding. "No, nothing really." He spoke, almost defeated. "I keep talking to him, seeing if he wants to open up anymore about it but he usually just ignores me."
Furrowing his eyebrows, Herrmann crossed his arms over his chest as he racked his brain for answers.
It felt like they'd had this same exact conversation a dozen times over the past week, both of them so desperately wanting to help their friends, but neither Dawson nor Casey had been very receptive to it. Since the day of Matt's breakdown in his office, Severide swore the man had been avoiding him. They'd seen each other on shift, but Kelly hadn't seen the man once outside of the firehouse. And anytime Severide would try to find some time to speak privately with the Captain, Matt would make some excuse and dodge any prying questions. Aside from one conversation the shift after that moment in his office, Matt had said nothing of what happened that day. He just kept reassuring Severide that both he and Gabby were fine, any conversation Severide hoped to have effectively coming to an end.
And Dawson wasn't much better.
Multiple times over the past days, Herrmann had reached out to 51's former paramedic, trying to get ahold of her and check in, but more often than not, he'd get her voicemail. There was once he managed to get her to pick up the phone, but the older man was pretty sure that was only because he called her while on shift and she'd thought something might've happened to Matt. Once they were speaking and she was given assurances that everything was okay, their conversation didn't last very long. He'd ask her questions and be given vague answers, any attempt at the two of them meeting up being put off by the woman. Despite her less than helpful words, just by that one phone call he knew something was wrong. Her voice sounded tired, and any of that Gabby-enthusiasm usually present was long gone. He found himself more concerned after their brief conversation than he'd been when she was leaving his calls unreturned. His short talk with her confirmed what Severide had been so worried about. Something was wrong with Dawson, he just didn't know what.
"Have you talked to Dawson again?" Severide questioned lowly.
"No, I called her two days ago. Left a message, but never heard back."
"I don't know, Herrmann… Maybe it's time to back off a bit." Kelly spoke, Herrmann eyeing him curiously.
"But you're the one who started all this, and something is wrong with her. We both know that, we can't just forget it."
"I know we can't, but what we've been doing hasn't exactly seemed to be helping. We might be pushing them too hard… the constant reaching out, we're not even giving them the chance to come to us. I know we're trying to help, but if anything maybe we've done the opposite." Severide reasoned quietly, Herrmann releasing a soft sigh. "We haven't meant to, but we're practically breathing down their necks. Maybe we just need to give them space, and let them come to us when they're ready."
"But what if they don't? You know how both of them are, they try and handle everything on their own. If this is something as bad as we think it is, they're gonna need support Severide."
"I know. And they know they have it. I'm just saying we might be overwhelming them a bit. Our intentions are good, but maybe we should back off."
"Yeah… maybe you're right. I just feel so bad not knowing how to help-"
Severide coughing suddenly effectively cut him off, Kelly's eyes widening slightly as he looked past the older firefighter. Following his gaze, Herrmann turned around and saw a tired looking Matt Casey walk into the locker room, his bag slung over his shoulder.
"Good morning, Captain." Herrmann greeted softly, Casey looking up at the pair of them and giving a slight nod before returning his attention to getting his locker open. None of them said much as Casey went through his routine, the exhaustion and worry rolling off his tense body like it had been for over a week. It wasn't a secret around the firehouse, everyone knew there was something bothering their highest ranking firefighter. He'd been reserved since that day, only speaking to everyone when necessary. He'd keep himself holed up in his office, some days not even appearing for meals. He was quiet and barely present, but when he was around it was hard to miss the tension he held in his shoulders, and the unshed tears shining in his eyes contrasting with the hard, blank look covering his face. Like he was bound to break at any moment, but aside from Herrmann and Severide, no one had the slightest idea why. And no one had the courage to ask.
Matt could feel eyes on him as he put away his things, but he didn't have the strength to call them on it. And speaking to them was sure to lead to an interrogation, so he stayed quiet, breathing out a breath of relief as he secured his locker and managed to escape the room without another word.
As they watched his retreating form, neither man said anything for a few moments, both wanting to make sure he was long gone before speaking.
"You really think we should just leave that alone?" Herrmann asked skeptically, nodding towards the direction Casey went.
"I… I don't know, Herrmann. I don't know what to do here." Kelly replied helplessly, hating that his best friend was so obviously hurting, and there was nothing he could for him.
Matt slowly brought his fist up to the door, tapping lightly against the glass as he looked into the office, seeing Chief diligently working through some paperwork. He watched the older man place his pen down, looking up towards his Captain, nodding the firefighter into the small room. Moving his hand from the door down towards the handle, he pushed open the heavy wood, poking his head in.
"You got a minute, Chief?" He asked softly, Boden nodding and waving him in, Matt taking the invitation and sliding into the room, closing the door against its frame behind him. He took the few steps towards Boden's desk, sitting down in the chair opposite him, wiping his clammy hands over his pants.
"What can I do for you, Casey?" Wallace asked, watching his Captain carefully. He saw Casey's tired eyes, the bags residing under them dark and prominent. He seemingly had a permanent frown etched into his skin, and there was a redness blotched over his face that if Boden had to guess, would mean the man hadn't been getting a lot of rest.
Boden wasn't blind, he'd seen the sharp change in the demeanor of Casey last week, and it hadn't gotten much better since. He'd noticed how reserved and absent the man had become during shift. But instead of the harsh and rigid behavior that was present at first, now he just looked defeated. He'd quickly gone from angry to completely closed off, and everyone in the house had noticed, including their Chief. It was clear whatever was weighing down the mind of Matt Casey was taking its toll on him.
"I, um, I need to leave for a few hours next shift." He responded quietly, Boden's eyebrows furrowing in question. "I know it's last minute, and I'm sorry. I meant to tell you last week, but it just- it kept slipping my mind." Matt further explained, Boden's concerns only deepening. That wasn't like Casey at all, to leave something like this till the last minute, and the Chief couldn't help but wonder exactly what was going through his friend's mind.
"What for?" Boden asked, keeping his voice neutral. Despite the concern he held for his Captain's wellbeing, he didn't want to pry into whatever the reason was behind Matt being so distant. But as his boss, he needed to know what would be causing his absence.
"Gabby has an appointment and I need to be there with her." Matt spoke unsteadily, swallowing thickly as he averted his eyes away from Boden.
Wallace tried to hide his immediate worry from showing over his face, but he knew he wasn't doing a great job. Thankfully Matt hadn't looked back up at him, and it gave him a second to compose himself.
Logically, he knew Gabby having an appointment could mean a million different things and there was no reason to automatically assume it was something bad. But with how Matt's been acting recently, and the way his voice faltered when he spoke, it raised some red flags in Boden's mind that something was in fact wrong with his former paramedic.
Taking a slow breath, Boden simply nodded as Matt found his gaze again. Even though he was curious, it wasn't his place to know the specifics, and if Matt didn't want to offer the details Wallace wouldn't force him.
"Alright. I would've rather had more warning, but I appreciate you letting me know. That'll be fine, what time do you need to leave?"
"Uh, around 10. No later than that. I'm not sure how long it'll be, I would say maybe two hours but I'm not sure. I can keep you updated while I'm gone."
"Please do." Boden responded, his eyes flickering over the exhausted face of the man across from him. "Is that all?"
Clearing his throat, Matt nodded, pushing his body up from the seat. "Yeah, that's all. Thank you, Chief. We really appreciate it." He spoke, referencing him and Gabby as he began moving towards the door.
"Of course. I hope everything goes well." Boden offered, not knowing what else to say. Matt flashed a soft smile, one that was gone as quickly as it appeared.
"Thank you." He replied softly, opening the door to leave.
"But Casey-" Boden's voice stopped him, Matt turning around in the doorway. "Can you please let Herrmann know he'll be acting Lieutenant on 81 while you're gone." Matt only nodded as an answer, walking out once he was sure he'd been excused.
Closing the door against the frame as he'd found it, he began his walk towards the common room, wanting to get this conversation with Herrmann done sooner rather than later. When he made it out by the main entrance into the firehouse, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked around for the man in question, surprised to not see him in his permanent spot next to Mouch.
"Uh, anyone seen Herrmann?" He questioned the room, seeing some of the surprised faces of his coworkers as they registered he was talking to them. Matt knew he'd cut himself off from them since finding out about the pregnancy, but he didn't have the energy to try and pretend everything was okay while he was at work, so he settled for keeping to himself. But he couldn't blame them for being caught off guard by him speaking to them for the first time in nearly a week, aside from them being out on calls and his grunting, short responses whenever someone bothered to ask him a question.
"I think he went out into the garage, Captain." Otis answered, Matt nodding and turning to leave, not feeling the need to say anything else to the group. He pushed open the door and moved into the garage, spotting Herrmann instantly, the man laughing and joking with some of the squad guys.
"Herrmann." Matt called, all conversation halting as heads shot up towards the voice, Herrmann glancing towards Severide who was sitting at the end of the table, before focusing in on Casey.
"Hey Captain." He replied, Matt coming to a stop beside him by the squad table.
"Hey, I was looking for you." Casey started, Herrmann's eyebrows raising in interest, sparing another quick glance to Severide before looking back towards Matt. "I have somewhere to be next shift, I'm leaving at 10 and I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but you're covering for me until I get back. Boden wanted me to let you know." He explained, confusion covering his face as he watched Herrmann and Severide exchange a pensive look. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Everything alright?" Herrmann asked, Matt regaining his posture as his eyes flashed towards Kelly, seeing his friend watching him expectantly.
"Everything's fine." He answered lamely, turning to head for the double doors. "Thank you."
"You got it, Casey." Herrmann responded, watching the man disappear into the firehouse, no doubt heading for the confines of his office. Blowing out a soft sigh, he turned his head towards Kelly, seeing the squad Lieutenant wearing a look of hesitation. Moving closer to him, Herrmann leaned forward slightly before speaking. "You still think we should just wait this out?" He asked softly, trying not to gain the attention of the other firefighters.
Knowing this wasn't the place for this conversation, Severide nodded towards the rig, pushing himself up from the chair and walking with Herrmann towards the front of the squad truck. He knew his men would be watching them, but he didn't care so much as long as he knew their conversation couldn't be heard.
"We both want to help, I know we do. But we've tried. They don't want it, at least not right now. I know I'm the one who brought you into all this, but all I know to do now is leave them alone and let them deal with whatever it is, until they want to talk about it."
"So you're not gonna try and figure out what that's about?" Herrmann asked, referring to the conversation Casey just had with him.
"If I go to Matt's office and try and ask him, I doubt I'll get an answer. He's made it clear he doesn't want to talk, I'm not gonna make him." Kelly answered, Herrmann releasing a sigh. "I know you're worried. Hell, so I am. So is the entire house. But we both know Matt, if it's something we need to know, he'll tell us."
"I know… I just really wish we could help them."
"I think all we can do to help is give them space. Us being overbearing hasn't helped anything. So all we can do now is wait." He spoke softly, Herrmann nodding reluctantly. With a sad smile, Severide patted the older man on the shoulder, moving back towards the table, leaving Herrmann to ponder their conversation.
Gabby looked through her windshield up at the large firehouse in front of her, light snowflakes falling down onto her car as she sat there for a few moments. She had just finished up her shift, the long day proving to be quite taxing on her, and before she even registered what she'd done, she found herself outside of 51. She didn't remember driving here, but she'd been moving on autopilot most of the day, her mind making the decision to come here without her consciously realizing it.
But it didn't take her long to understand why she'd come here. All day, she'd been missing Matt more than she usually did on shift. She couldn't necessarily understand why, she saw him just this morning, but for some reason as soon as they'd gone their separate ways, she missed him. All day during her shift, all she wanted was to come and be with him. She'd even called him twice just to talk to him, the first call being missed because truck was out. Matt had returned the call as soon as he could, the two only able to talk for a few minutes before Gabby got called out. But as soon as she could, she called him a second time, content to just hear his voice.
She was sure Matt could see through her lame excuses as to why she was calling him multiple times, but she herself didn't even understand the need to hear from him, so she couldn't begin to explain it to him. All she knew was that she wanted to talk to him, to see him, that she didn't want to be alone at their apartment, and she ended up here.
Taking a soft breath, she pulled her phone from her pocket, calling Matt and putting the phone up to her ear. She wanted to call him before arriving out of the blue, but soon enough she reached his voicemail, Gabby sighing as she hung up the call. Despite all the times Matt said it was okay that she show up whenever she pleased, she still felt a little weird about it. So she always tried to call and check if it was alright, but tonight she wasn't able to get ahold of him, and getting inside the warm firehouse was a lot more desirable than waiting for him to call her back in this cold car.
Gabby unlocked her doors, grabbing her bag and pushing herself up from the car, snow falling onto her as she gathered her belongings for the night. Making sure to lock her car, she began the walk up the driveway, it only taking seconds for her to see the reason for Matt not responding to her call. All three rigs were gone from the garage, the large room completely empty as Gabby stepped inside, shielding herself from the cold weather.
Not knowing how long they'd been gone, or how much longer they'd be out, Gabby decided to head inside the warmth of the firehouse, dragging her feet towards the double doors. She padded her way across the apparatus floor, pulling open the door and quickly sliding inside. She stopped in her tracks a few feet inside the hallway, being met by a man standing by the coffee pot, his back to her.
The sound of the door closing into place caught his attention, Boden turning around with a mug in his hand, surprise covering his features as she saw Gabby in the doorway.
"Dawson, hey. I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight." He responded lightly, a small smile landing on his face as he walked towards her.
"Hey Chief. Yeah, it was kind of a last minute thing, I just got off shift and was stopping by to see Matt."
Nodding with a knowing smile, he responded. "Well, they've been gone for a few hours now… car accident. I'd imagine they won't be gone too much longer." Boden informed her, Gabby nodding. "So, how is it going over at the SAS?" He asked, stopping in the entrance to the common room, leaning against the frame.
"It's good, I'm really enjoying it there." Gabby spoke with a soft smile. "My partner is great, and the pace and everything, it's a good fit for me."
"I'm glad. It sounds like things are going well."
"They are." She replied, averting her eyes towards the ground.
"So, uh-" Boden started, clearing his throat, Gabby forcing her eyes back towards him, "Casey told me he needs to duck out for a few hours next shift."
"Yeah, he told me he talked to you. Thank you… for letting him leave."
There was a clear shift in the air around them, Boden sensing how uneasy this topic was making her. In the few minutes he'd spent with her, Chief had seen the same look in Dawson's eyes that he'd seen in Casey's. She looked spent, like she was emotionally exhausted. If her body language wasn't enough to tell him how tired she was, the bags under her eyes were. Her and Casey were perfect mirrors of each other, both of them wearing a look of defeat. Boden didn't know what was going on, but if he wasn't worried enough from Matt's behavior recently, seeing Gabby in person had only increased that concern.
"Of course. Anything you guys need." He spoke vaguely, his comment causing a look to flash in Gabby's eyes. He picked up on a hint of confusion, as well as worry, but the look disappeared as quickly as it came.
"Thank you, Chief." She found her voice, her words coming out in a whisper, an uncomfortable silence filling the room. Thankfully, Gabby heard the garage doors open before any more words were spoken, the familiar sound of fire trucks pulling into their spot hitting her ears. "I'm gonna…" She trailed off, nodding out towards the garage.
Nodding slowly, Boden stood up straight, giving her a small smile. "It was good to see you, Gabby."
"You too." She responded softly, turning on her heels and heading out through the double doors. The trucks came into view, squad having just finished parking, truck completing the same task seconds later. She slowly walked around the back of squad's rig, standing back as the firefighters began to pile out.
Severide saw her first, surprise crossing his face as he made eye contact with Gabby, the woman offering him a small smile. Gabby's gaze moved from him to Matt, who was oblivious to her presence as she stood a few yards from him, Casey climbing down from his spot in the passenger seat.
"Dawson, hey." Herrmann's voice filled the space, all heads snapping over towards her. Matt looked up quickly, stopping his movements as he found Gabby's gaze waiting for him, her smile warming him as they locked eyes.
"Hey guys." She responded, her eyes moving around to look at everyone before she focused back in on Matt.
"What brought you by?" Herrmann asked as he walks towards her, hugging her lightly. Matt was watching her intently, Gabby giving him a reassuring smile before she pulled back from Herrmann.
"Got off work, I just wanted to stop by." She replied softly, Herrmann's eyes flashing over her face, trying to get a read on her. This was the first time he'd seen her since the day of the elevator accident, the once large cut across her cheek now nothing but a small scratch that would probably be healed in a few more days, the stitches having presumably done their job. But what worried him was her demeanor. Her actions, and the look in her eye, it reminded him of Casey, and he couldn't help but be flooded with concern.
"It's good to see you, kid." He responded lightly, Gabby smiling softly. A smile Herrmann noticed didn't reach her eyes.
"You too, Herrmann." She patted him on the shoulder, before sliding past him and walking towards Matt. He hung up his turnout coat as she approached, a smile falling onto his face as she got closer. Everyone was surprised, seeing the genuine smile across his lips. No one in the house had seen him look anything other than distraught or angry for well over a week, and even though they were sure the look wouldn't last once Gabby left, they were glad to see him happy for at least a moment.
"Hey." She spoke softly as she got to him, Matt's smile widening as her voice filled his ears.
"Hi." He responded, working on getting out of the rest of his gear, slinging the suspenders off his shoulders and stepping out of his turnout pants. "How was your shift?"
"It was alright." Gabby's eyes looked around, seeing everyone staring at the two of them. She knew their intentions were in the right place, but all the glances made her uncomfortable. "I, uh, I actually need to talk to you," She started, Matt's spine straightening. "Can we…" She nodded off towards the double doors, signaling she wanted some privacy for whatever it was.
"Of course." He replied instantly, shutting the door before turning back to her, placing his hand on her lower back. "Come on." He began to lead her through the maze of bodies that had crowded around them, Gabby saying a quick goodbye to the group.
"It was good to see you guys." She spoke softly, earning a few nods and soft responses from her former coworkers before the two of them disappeared around the rig.
Matt kept his hand on her back as he led her through the door and down the hallway, Gabby able to feel the warmth of his hand through the thick layers she was wearing. They quietly moved through the bunk room, Gabby sensing the nerves radiating off his body, feeling a rush of guilt move through her for how she worded her request to be alone, knowing she'd worried him.
Once they got to his office, Matt dropped his hand from her back, letting her walk in first then following behind her, shutting the door closed against the frame as she dropped her bag onto the floor by the foot of his bed.
"Is everything okay?" He questioned immediately, his eyes subconsciously flashing from her eyes to her stomach. Seeing his gaze, her hand moved to ghost over her abdomen, waiting until he met her eyes before answering.
"Everything's fine, I didn't mean to make you worry, I could just feel everyone staring at us and I wanted to get out of there." She responded, Matt's muscles relaxing as he nodded at her with a small smile. She moved towards him, wrapping her arms around his back as their bodies were flush together, Gabby leaned back enough to be able to see his face. "I know they don't know what's going on, but standing out there it felt like they did and I don't know- it made me a little anxious." She explained, Matt moving one hand to rest on her waist, the other coming up to her head, placing his palm against the side of her face.
"All the staring, I think that's my fault." He began, stroking his thumb softly back and forth over her skin. "Ever since we found out about the baby, and then that day with Kelly, I've been kind of distant towards everyone." A slight frown formed across her face, Matt using his thumb to wipe it away. "I'm alright, or as okay as I can be, I just don't feel like doing all the small talk and everything. It's easier to keep to myself right now. But I don't think they were so much staring at you as they were staring at me."
Gabby nodded in understanding, leaning forward to place her entire body against his, resting her head in the crook of his neck. She placed a soft kiss against his covered collarbone, Matt wrapping his arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly against him.
"What brought you by?" He asked after a few moments of quiet between the two, feeling her hand moving lightly up and down his back. "Not that I don't love having you here, but I wasn't expecting it."
"Honestly, I don't know. I finished at work, got into the car and just ended up here. Guess I was missing you." She murmured against his neck.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" He nearly whispered, Gabby pulling back from his chest. "Just with the calls today, you seemed a little off."
Blowing out a soft sigh, she escaped his hold completely, moving to sit down on his bunk, Matt mirroring her movements, sitting down beside her. "I'm alright, I am, I just- I'm feeling a little anxious, with my appointment in a few days." She admitted, Matt grabbing onto her hand and placing them in her lap. "I know it's felt like we've just been holding our breath, waiting for this day, but now that it's getting closer I'm nervous. I'm scared of what she might tell us, and then us trying to figure out what to do, it's a lot and the closer we get to the appointment, the harder it gets." She rambled out, Matt squeezing her hand gently, sadness shining in his eyes. "I don't even know if that makes sense…"
"It does." He assured her immediately, Gabby turning to look at him. "I feel the same way. Yeah, it's been impossible with all of this hanging over us, when we don't really know what it means… but now that we're getting close to an answer, it almost feels worse."
Gabby released a grateful breath she hadn't even realized she was holding, feeling more thankful than ever at Matt's ability to understand her, sometimes better than she understood herself.
"But whatever happens, we'll get through it together. It'll be fine." He told her firmly, but kept his voice gentle. She nodded, Matt seeing the exhaustive haze present in her eyes. He glanced to the clock on his desk, seeing it was only a little after eight, but he could feel how tired she was, emotionally and mentally. Slowly standing up, he pulled her up as well, Gabby furrowing her eyebrows at him. Wordlessly, he pulled back the covers, Matt slipping off his boots as Gabby understood the meaning of his actions. While she removed her thick jacket, Matt began closing the blinds, effectively shutting them off from the outside world. Once he finished the last blind, Gabby picked up her bag from the floor, placing it on his bed and beginning to search through its contents. He watched as she pulled out a pair of leggings and one of Matt's old, faded CFD t-shirts, a small smile falling onto his face over her choice of sleepwear.
She began changing out of her work clothes, folding the worn clothes neatly in a pile before beginning to slip on her new ones.
"So I take it you're staying the night?" He spoke lightly, even though both of them already knew she wasn't going anywhere.
Releasing a soft chuckle, she pulled the t-shirt over her head as she turned to him. "If you'll have me."
"Always." He murmured, turning off the light and walking back to the bed. He got in first, settling down into the semi-comfortable bunk, Gabby crawling over him and tucking herself into his side, Matt adjusting the covers on top of them as she placed her bent arm on his chest, her hand resting over his heart. With his arm wrapped around her, he placed his hand low on her hip, his other arm up behind his head.
"I'm glad you came here." He whispered into the dark room, Gabby's thumb moving softly over his chest.
"Me too. I really didn't feel like being alone." She confided, Matt's grip tightening on her even more.
"I'm right here." He promised, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Now try and get some sleep." Gabby nodded against him, relaxing her body into him as a slow breath escaped through her lips. Matt moved his hand in soothing circles over her hip, wide awake as he listened to her breathing slow down. Only a few minutes passed before Matt realized she was out, her exhaustion taking hold of her and not letting go as she fell asleep easily in his arms.
Continuing the calming movements over her side, Matt's mind ran rampant as he laid there in the dark, feeling her breath tickling his skin every few seconds. Despite the surprise he initially felt seeing her standing in the garage, he couldn't help but feel content knowing that she came to him, that she sought him out. Things between them had been difficult since the news of her pregnancy, the uncertainty around them wreaking havoc on them individually and together.
They'd gone through a lot of ups and downs over the almost two weeks since she told him of her pregnancy, everything becoming too much and overwhelming them more than he was willing to admit. Things around them had become tense, at times, but not because of each other, only because of this child growing inside of her that they weren't sure how to handle. No fights had happened between them, but there was an uneasiness that had settled in their home at times, neither wanting to say something that might upset the other, neither wanting to talk about what they should do when they didn't have all the information. So it had quickly become them tiptoeing around the other. There were some days when all they wanted was each other, but there were other days when they barely spoke, both needing space. It was hard on both of them, the uncertainty around everything with this pregnancy, but Matt could only hope that when they knew more of what they were dealing with, they would at least begin to feel like themselves again.
For as hard as the wait was on him, he knew it was destroying her. He could see her slowly cracking, and Matt could only hope the appointment would at least halt that. No matter the outcome, it would give them answers they both needed. Everyday was getting harder and harder on them, on her. And he couldn't wait for it to stop. He'd done what he could to help her, but the days when she wanted space he felt helpless, knowing all he could do was let her be. Thankfully those days were few and far between, but that helpless feeling remained even when she'd reach out. As nervous as he felt for the appointment with the doctor, he was beyond ready to know exactly what they were up against. He knew both of them would feel better once they had all the information.
Matt cursed under his breath as the bells rang loudly throughout the house, Gabby groaning at the noise as she dug her head deeper into his neck. Hearing truck's services were needed, he placed a quick kiss to her head before sliding out from under her, Gabby groaning again once she was left alone in the bed.
"I'm sorry, I'll be back as soon as I can." He told her while sliding on his boots. "I love you, go back to sleep." He leaned over the bunk, placing one last kiss to the side of her head before heading for the door.
"Be safe." Her half-conscious voice mumbled, Matt smiling softly before slipping out of his office, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he left, Gabby curled herself up under the covers as tightly as possible, trying to get back some of the warmth she'd lost from Matt's departure.
Gabby fidgeted in her seat in the nearly empty waiting room, her eyes glancing up to the clock every few seconds, her eyes bouncing from the time to the door continuously, her nerves rising as she waited for him to show up.
10:23
Huffing out a breath, her leg continued to shake as she held onto the clipboard in her lap. Gabby had arrived promptly at 10:15 this morning, wanting to get a jumpstart on any paperwork she needed to complete before meeting with the doctor. And sitting at home waiting had nearly made her go insane, so as soon as she possibly could she left for the doctor's office. She'd finished filling out everything a few minutes ago, and she was all ready to get back there and get this started.
Except for that Matt wasn't here.
She knew it'd be hard, him leaving at the beginning of a shift, and despite Boden knowing he needed to leave, if he was stuck at a call there wasn't much that couldn't be done, but she needed him here. Whatever news they got, she wanted him by her side when they got it. But with every minute ticking by, she wasn't sure if he'd be able to get here.
10:27
Clasping her hands in her lap, she slowly started to accept the fact she might be doing this appointment alone, at least the beginning of it.
The door pushing open caused her head to snap up, seeing a heaving Matt rush in, still strapped in his turnout gear, black smoke marks covering parts of his exposed skin, his sweaty hair sticking up in different directions.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He apologized profusely, coming over to her and falling down into the chair beside her, placing his hand on her arm. "We were at a house fire, it took forever. I had to have the guys drop me off." He rushed out, taking a deep breath before continuing. "But I had them drop me off a block away, because I know we're not telling them anything yet and I didn't know if this was like, the only practice in the building or if there were a lot of offices. I didn't know what I was walking into so I just had them drop me off down the street, but then when I saw the time and realized I was late, I ran here. I'm sorry, I-"
"Matt." She called softly, effectively stopping his rambling. Her eyes looked past Matt towards Debbie, the receptionist here, seeing an amused smile on her lips as she pretended not to listen, clearly enjoying the story Matt was telling.
"I'm sorry." He said again, Gabby shaking her head.
"It's fine, you're here. No apologies necessary." She assured him, rubbing her hand over his cheek. He flashed her a smile, leaning over and placing a kiss to the side of her side, Gabby's nostrils filled with the harsh smell of smoke as he got close to her. "Was the call okay? Looks like it was a rough one." She commented, his appearance looking a little worse for wear.
"It was. We were having a hard time getting it under control, there was an explosion in the building while we were in there, it wasn't easy."
"But everyone's okay?"
"Yeah, everyone's fine." He assured her, squeezing her arm gently.
"Gabriela Dawson?" A woman in scrubs called from the open doorway, both of them looking towards the small woman. "My name's Amanda, I'll be your nurse today. Are you ready?" She nodded, both her and Matt standing up and walking towards the door, following the nurse further inside the practice. "We're gonna get your weight, if you could step over here."
Matt had reached for her things before Gabby even turned to ask, holding onto her coat and purse while they got her weight, the nurse putting it into the system before leading the couple back to a room.
"Okay, I'm gonna step out for a few minutes. I need you to remove everything, and put on that gown." She spoke, nodding towards the paper material lying on the examination table. "When I get back, we're gonna draw some more blood. From your file, I know you just had some blood work done, but we like to have everything checked by our lab here, just for reassurance. And I'll get your other vitals and then we'll go from there. That sound alright?" Gabby nodded, Matt placing her things down on the chair beside the table. "Alright, well I'll be back in a few minutes."
As soon as the door shut, Gabby turned towards the bed, beginning the process of removing her clothes. Each item of clothing she removed, Matt took them from her and folded it, placing it on top of her things. Once bare, Matt picked up the gown, holding it up for her to step in to, Gabby sliding her arms through it before turning around, letting him tie the back of it before she climbed up onto the bed.
Once she was comfortable, he removed his turnout coat, placing that and the radio across the back of the chair before turning his attention back to her.
"You sure you don't want to go clean up a bit or anything?" She questioned, Matt shaking his head as he ran his hand through his disheveled hair.
"I'm good, don't want to miss anything." He replied with a small smile, Gabby reciprocating the action as they heard a knock on the door, Amanda poking her head in.
"Ready?" Gabby responded with a nod, Amanda walking in completely, pulling a machine along with her, shutting the door behind her. "Alright, first I'm gonna get your temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, all that fun stuff. Then I'll draw some blood." She informed her, Gabby nodding again before they began the process.
Matt stood by her side, moving out of the way when necessary as the nurse did her job. The process went by quickly, the blood draw taking the longest, Matt not missing her small grimace as she got stuck by the needle.
"Alright, I'm gonna get all this stuff put into your file. Our ultrasound technician will be in here shortly, so we can get a good look at your baby. Then after we finish up all that, we'll get you into Dr. Tanner's office."
"Thank you." Gabby responded, Matt nodding as well before Amanda slipped out of the room, leaving the two alone once more.
"You good?" Matt asked, watching her place her palm over the inside of her elbow, covering where her arm had just been wrapped up.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just nervous." He gave her a sympathetic smile, rubbing up and down over her back.
"Me too, but everything will be fine." He responded softly, both of them needing to hear those words.
Gabby nodded at him, the two falling into a comfortable silence as they waited for the technician to come in. Thankfully they weren't left waiting long as there was a knock on the door, an older woman stepping inside pulling along a cart with a lot of different machines on it.
"Hello, my name's Julie, I'm your ultrasound technician, I'll be performing your ultrasound today."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Gabby, this is Matt." She introduced, the woman nodding.
"So, I've spoken to Dr. Tanner, and with regards to your medical history; the complications with your first pregnancy and then the aneurysm, she requested that I perform a transvaginal ultrasound." Julie explained, Gabby nodding in response. "Have you ever had one before?"
"No." Gabby answered softly, although she had a pretty good idea of what was coming.
"Alright, well I won't lie to you, it isn't the most pleasant feeling in the world, but it won't hurt. How this works is I'll insert the transducer and began getting all the images the doctor needs. Hopefully I can get it done in about 15 to 30 minutes, but sometimes it takes longer. It just depends, person to person. It can be uncomfortable, and I'm sorry for that, but it shouldn't hurt. If it hurts at all, you need to tell me." She spoke, Gabby nodding. "Okay, well let's get this started. Have you had a previous ultrasound for this pregnancy?" Julie asked, while motioning Gabby to lean back.
"No, no I haven't." Gabby answered, placing her feet in the stirrups. Julie placed a sheet over the lower half of her body, getting her machine set up and prepped. Matt moved closer to Gabby, placing one hand on top of her head and the other grasping her hand within his. It only took a few minutes for Julie to get ready, adjusting the sheet and Gabby's gown so she could perform the exam.
"Alright, we're gonna get started. Like I said, if anything hurts let me know."
Gabby nodded, breathing slowly as she felt the slick object against her. She immediately grimaced once the exam started, her eyes closing momentarily as she adjusted to the feeling.
"You okay?" Matt asked quietly, rubbing his thumb over her forehead. He couldn't even imagine how uncomfortable this had to have been for her. Gabby nodded slowly, the look of discomfort staying on her face as Julie moved the wand around carefully.
"Still good, Gabby?" Julie asked her, pausing her movements.
"Yeah, I would love for this to be over sooner rather than later though." She spoke through gritted teeth, hating the feeling.
"I know, I'm sorry. I'll go as fast as I can." Julie assured her, Matt squeezing her hand.
After a few moments her discomfort lessened, getting used to the unwelcome object inside of her, Gabby focusing on Matt's hand moving back and forth over her head instead of the movements down at the other end of the table.
"Now, before I start getting the images I need, there was a reason I asked you if you've had an ultrasound done yet." Julie spoke vaguely, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing.
Wordlessly, Julie turned the screen towards the couple, giving them a view of what she was seeing. A slight gasp escaped Gabby's lips as she made out the image of their baby.
"What?" Matt asked, confusion laced in his voice, focusing more on her reaction than on what was being shown to him.
"It's our baby." She whispered softly, Matt's eyes moving back towards the screen, Julie pointing to what had Gabby so captivated.
"There's your child." Julie spoke softly, Matt's eyes glued to the screen as he focused on the small picture in front of him. It had taken him a minute, but now he could see it clearly. It was small, but he could make out the image of their child. Here he was staring at the life that he and Gabby had created, and he'd never felt so many conflicting emotions before in his life. His immediate reaction was pride, knowing here was the life he and Gabby had made, something they always wanted. But then guilt swept over him, knowing that this child could be detrimental to Gabby's health, and he felt awful that a part of him wanted this. He didn't know if he could stand to want this child.
"And now…" Julie started, adjusting a few of the buttons on her machine. No more words were said before a loud, rhythmic thud filled the room, Gabby's mouth falling open in wonder as both her and Matt listened to the sound of their baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was fast, the strong beat pumping through the room loudly, stunning both of them into silence.
Gabby felt tears well in her eyes as she heard the loud beating, a shaky breath releasing from her chest as she moved her attention completely to the screen in front of her. She'd never felt so happy in her life, unable to focus on anything other than the image of the child her and Matt had created.
Matt, on the other hand, had no idea which of his emotions to follow. The second the sound of that heartbeat filled his ears, he fell in love. He fell in love with the life they'd created and he knew in that moment he wanted to do everything in his power to protect their child. But then he came crashing back down to reality, the circumstances punching him in the gut as he stood at Gabby's bedside, clutching onto her hand. He didn't know how to feel, as tears clouded his eyes at the sound of their baby's heartbeat. He was fighting his every instinct, knowing this should be the happiest moment of his life, but it couldn't be. All he knew in this moment was he'd never felt so lost before.
Gabby paid no mind to the discomfort she was feeling from the exam, only caring about the heartbeat that continuously filled the room. She'd never got to experience it the first time, her and Matt never got to hear it when she was pregnant a few years ago. Like everything else with that pregnancy, that experience had been stripped away from them. But this, this was real. This was her child, it was Matt's child, and their heartbeat was the most beautiful sound Gabby had ever heard in the world. She couldn't stop the tears from pouring over as she listened to the strong beating, her heart filled with nothing but warmth and happiness for the first time since finding out about this pregnancy.
The exam finished quicker than Gabby realized, immediately missing the sound of their child's steady heartbeat when Julie removed the wand from her. She wished she could listen to that sound for the rest of her life.
"Alright, we're all done. I'll let you get cleaned up. There's a bathroom right there if you need it, and you can go ahead and get dressed. Once you're ready, I'll take you to Dr. Tanner's office. She'll need some time to look over these images, but I just got them sent to her, you shouldn't be waiting too long." Julie explained softly, Gabby nodding as the woman covered her with the sheet again. "Okay, whenever you're ready just come on out."
"Thank you, Julie." Gabby said with a watery smile.
"Yeah, thanks." Matt spoke softly.
The technician smiled at the two of them, then exited the room, closing the door behind her to give them privacy.
Basking in the glow of what they'd just experienced, Gabby turned to look at Matt, a fear tears strolling down her face.
"You okay?" He asked quietly, clearing the emotion from his throat.
He was met by an enthusiastic nod, a wide smile gracing her face. "I am." She spoke lightly, wiping the happy tears away. "That was our baby, Matt." Her voice was near a whisper, but he could hear her clearly. He could hear the excitement in her voice, and he felt a part of himself break knowing he didn't share that same level of elation. He wished more than anything he could be as happy as she was about this, and for a moment he had been, but now he couldn't. Not with so many unknowns still hanging over them. He could only hope their meeting with the doctor in the next few minutes would allow him that same level of enthusiasm Gabby currently had.
Swallowing thickly, he nodded at her, tears welling in his own eyes. She brought her hand up to cup his cheek, her smile widening. Clearly she had mistaken his tears of worry for tears of joy, as she leaned up and placed a hard kiss against his lips. Pulling back, he mustered up as bright of a smile as possible, Gabby stroking her thumb over his cheek. "Yeah…" He forced out, "our baby." His words were broken as they escaped his lips, Gabby giving him another sweet kiss before moving to get down off the table, Matt helping her until her feet were on the ground.
"I'm gonna get changed, then we can go see what the doctor says." She spoke, Matt seeing her genuinely content for the first time in two weeks. And part of him didn't understand it. Of course seeing their baby stirred emotions deep within him, but he still knew the risks. He still understood they might not be able to keep this baby, but Gabby had seemingly lost all sight of that. All he knew to do was pray that Dr. Tanner had good news for them so that look of happiness could remain on her face.
"Alright, you need help with anything?" He offered, reaching down to grab her neatly folded clothes.
"Just untie this for me." She responded, Matt handing off the items before she turned around, undoing the loose knot he'd made earlier. "Thank you, I'll be right back."
He watched her until she disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Blowing out a harsh breath, he rested his palms on the table, knowing he had to compose himself before leaving this room. He knew he had to not let his emotions take control of him, not until they'd heard everything the doctor has to say. And especially now that Gabby was so entranced by what she saw on the monitor, he knew he had to keep a level head.
Clenching his neck tightly, he willed the tears in his eyes away as he pushed his body up to stand straight, forcing his conflicting emotions away as he bent over to grab their things, hanging his coat and her jacket off his arm, her bag clutched in his hand as he waited. It only took a few minutes for her to reappear, the same smile still plastered on her face, although it had dulled somewhat.
"Ready?" He asked her as they headed for the door, Gabby nodding in response. They left the room, Matt holding the door open for her until she exited, following behind her as he saw Julie waiting for them.
"Alright, let's get you in with Dr. Tanner." She spoke, leading them further into the practice, Gabby and Matt following her through the deceptively large building until they got to the back, going into a room that seemed to be a small waiting room. Julie bypassed that, walking them through that room to another door, them finally reaching the doctor's office. "You two can have a seat in here," Julie spoke, holding her arm out towards the two chairs in front of a desk. "Dr. Tanner should be in here shortly."
"Thank you." Gabby spoke softly, Julie nodding before leaving the room. Matt nodded towards Gabby, gesturing for her to sit first, the woman sitting in the chair closest to her before Matt took his seat next to her, placing their belongings on the ground.
As they sat and waited, he could feel the nervous energy bouncing off of Gabby. He imagined that whatever high she'd been feeling during the ultrasound had faded somewhat, and the reality of why they were here might've set back in. But he said nothing, not wanting to upset her.
"You think she'll have good news?" The hopeful tone in her voice nearly broke his heart, Matt turning to look at her. Her bottom lip was tucked in between her teeth, a clear look of apprehension settling across her face.
Flashing her a supportive smile, he reached for her hand. "I hope so." He knew he couldn't offer much more, not wanting to build her hopes up anymore than they already were, in fear of the crash back down to earth being all the worse. But he wouldn't crush her spirit either, especially not when they had next to no information yet.
The door opening behind them pulled them from their conversation, their heads turning to find a woman walking in. She was maybe only a little older than Gabby, but Matt knew from the white coat she was who they'd been waiting for.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Linda Tanner." The blonde spoke lightly as she came around to her desk, placing a tablet down in front of her before sitting in her chair. "You must be Gabriela."
Even from the few words she'd said, the tone in her voice relaxed both of them, Gabby nodding. "Yeah, that's me. But Gabby is fine."
"Gabby, then." She spoke with a smile. "I saw in your file you're a paramedic? How's that job?"
"I love it, it's hard but it's rewarding." She replied, Dr. Tanner nodding before turning her attention to the man across from her.
"And you're a firefighter, by the looks of it." She commented, Matt nodding.
"I am."
"Oh, sorry, this is Matt Casey," Gabby introduced, "he's my- well, he's…"
"He's the father." Dr. Tanner supplemented as Gabby began to stumble over her words.
"Yeah, but he's not only that." Gabby spoke, glancing towards Matt. "It's complicated."
"There's no need to explain anything, Miss Dawson."
"No, I know. It's just- we were married, but then some things happened and we got divorced. But we got back together, and then found out about me being pregnant and… yeah." She rambled on. Gabby didn't know why it was so important to her for Dr. Tanner to know the details of what they were, but she felt compelled to tell her. It bothered her, the thought of her doctor thinking her and Matt were just some random relationship that ended up in a pregnancy. She wasn't even sure why it mattered so much, but she didn't want any confusion as to how important their relationship was.
Dr. Tanner gave her a sympathetic smile, responding once she'd stopped rambling. "There's no judgement here, Gabby. I don't need to know the inner workings of your relationship, that's between you two. But both of you are here, and that tells me all I need to know about how committed you are to figuring out this situation."
"We are." Matt spoke for the first time, Gabby squeezing his hand as Dr. Tanner smiled at him softly.
"Now, before we begin, I do want to apologize to you Gabby, for how long it took to get you in here. I wish I'd had your medical history when you were put on the list, because I would've found a way to get you in here a lot sooner." She spoke, Gabby and Matt both nodding, waiting for her to continue. "Now, as I understand it, you were not aware of your pregnancy when you spoke to our receptionist while setting up your appointment?"
"No, I wasn't. I found out later that day, but at the time I didn't know. It was something I definitely would have mentioned." Gabby spoke lightly.
"That's what I assumed." She responded, picking up the tablet. "I've spent a lot of time looking over your medical history since we got your files in, and I've got to say you've been through the ringer it seems like, with trying to have a child."
"Yeah… it's been a lot."
"I'm not sure how much was explained to you, but your past medical history is why I wanted to do the transvaginal ultrasound. With the miscarriage you suffered, and the surgeries surrounding that, and then this aneurysm, I wanted to know exactly what we were dealing with. But before we get into all that, I do have some questions for you. What exactly sent you to the doctor, when you found out about the aneurysm? Was something wrong?." Dr. Tanner questioned, looking back and forth between the two.
"Well, back in May, we'd been trying to have a baby and I was having a hard time getting pregnant, so I suggested we go see my doctor, make sure everything checked out. And then during that visit is when they found it."
"Yeah, her doctor told us that she has an aneurysm, from her first pregnancy. And that with the aneurysm, it puts a lot of stress on her system and there was a chance it could rupture and that it could be fatal for her, if it did." Matt spoke, both women listening to him intently.
"She told us that there was a 10% chance of something going wrong, but a 90% chance that everything would be fine." Gabby finished, Dr. Tanner nodding.
"Well, some of those things are true, yes. But first, let me tell you what all I am seeing from our scans, then we can get into our options and everything, does that sound okay?" Both of them nodded, neither saying a word as they eagerly waited for her to talk. "Alright, well to start, based off our tests and when your last period was, you are roughly six weeks pregnant as of today, so we're still early on. I had my concerns, knowing the issues with your first pregnancy, about implantation and everything, but everything looks normal with this pregnancy. Everything is exactly where it should be, your baby looks healthy and is growing like they should."
A sigh of relief escaped her lips, Dr. Tanner having eased one of her fears already. "But there is still the aneurysm. That is our main concern at this time. But from our scan today, we did have it measuring at slightly smaller than what your first doctor had. It might have been from us doing the more invasive ultrasound, but while they had it measured at 2.1 centimeters, our test today only has it as 1.8 centimeters in size. I know it might not sound like a lot, but trust me in cases like this, that could make all the difference. The smaller the aneurysm is, the easier it is to get control of should something go wrong. It's not a foolproof plan, it's not a guaranteed fix. There is still the risk, but your aneurysm being on the smaller side definitely works in your favor." She explained to them, seeing the almost deer in headlights look covering their faces.
"So when you said some of what her other doctor told her is true, the risk to her life is still there. That hasn't changed." Matt questioned, Dr. Tanner releasing a soft breath as she leaned forward.
"No matter the size, an aneurysm could always be fatal. There is still a chance that if Gabby were to carry this baby to term, the pregnancy could be fatal for her should her aneurysm rupture. I can't lie to you and say it's not, because it is. There is a chance that this could kill not only you, Gabby, but also your child."
"Wait- what?" Matt breathed out, both of them stunned at the new information. "Her doctor didn't mention anything about it being fatal to the baby."
"It's rare, but it happens." Dr. Tanner spoke, seeing Gabby's eyes shining with unshed tears, the woman clutching on to Matt's hand as tightly as she could. "Look, I'm not trying to scare you guys. But I need you to have all the information. While the risk is higher for Gabby, the exact percentage is around 9% that something could go wrong and end badly, but the risk for your child is much lower." She assured them, but she knew she wasn't doing much to soothe the fears of the couple. "I know this is terrifying, I know it is. But Gabby, we have an advantage in your case that most women don't. And that's us knowing about it ahead of time. An aneurysm on the right iliac artery, that is very rare. You are a very rare case, which means that when women have it, they usually don't know until it's too late. But with you, we are aware of it. We know what to watch for, we'll know what the problem is immediately, should something happen. Those 9% of women who had this condition and didn't make it, a lot of them didn't have the warning you do."
"So it helps you, knowing about it now?"
"Absolutely. Because there's none of that wasted time trying to figure out what's wrong, should something happen. I'll immediately have my answer and work on fixing it. We know about this aneurysm now, and a lot of the time that isn't the case. It's something that often gets misdiagnosed, and causes a lot of issues during labor. But being aware of it, we know the precautions to take. I'm not saying it's a guarantee, but if you choose to continue this pregnancy, it only helps us that we know about it now."
Dr. Tanner watched the two people across from her, able to see how overwhelmed she'd made them. She hoped she was able to help them somewhat, but if anything they looked more lost than when she first came in here. "I know this is information overload right now, and I know you're scared. It's a lot to process, but we have options here." She spoke, regaining their attention. "Obviously, there's the choice to have an abortion. That way there is no risk to Gabby, if that's what you all choose. And I'd be able to help you look into other ways to have children. But there's also the option of Gabby carrying this child to term, and you all having your baby."
"But she could die." Matt spoke softly, feeling Gabby's grip on his hand loosen.
"She could." Dr. Tanner responded, taking a deep breath. "But Mr. Casey I'm very good at what I do. And while I can't guarantee a completely risk-less pregnancy, I can tell you I will do everything in my power to make sure you have a healthy, full term pregnancy if that's the direction you two choose. I know there's a risk, but the odds are in your favor, Gabby." She spoke, seeing the glimmer of hope in Gabby's eyes, and the look of doubt in Matt's. "I know I can't tell you two what to do, I would never try and sway you one way or the other. This decision is yours and yours alone. But I have all the confidence in my abilities to do whatever I can to make sure both you and your child come out of this just fine, if you all wish to continue this pregnancy."
Both Gabby and Matt nodded, neither sure exactly what to say, their minds racing.
"So, do either of you have any questions for me?"
A few moments of silence passed, the couple gathering themselves for a minute before Gabby spoke up first. "Is it okay for me to keep working?"
"Right now, yes. As long as you avoid burning buildings, obviously smoke inhalation isn't good for anyone, let alone a pregnant woman. And do you work with other people?"
"I have a partner, yeah."
"Good. I'd let them handle the heavy lifting, just to be safe. But for right now, it's fine for you to continue working. With you being a high-risk pregnancy, the further into your pregnancy we get, the more cautious we'd need to be. But that'll be determined as we go." She explained, Gabby nodding. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, uh, it should be in my file, but I've been on anxiety medication recently… is that okay for me to keep taking? Or should I stop?"
"Yes, I did see that in your chart. I checked the medication you're on and the amount, and it's completely fine to continue taking while pregnant, as long as you don't go over your correct dosage it's safe for your baby."
Gabby once again nodded, glancing over to Matt who had yet to say anything over the past few minutes. She could tell his head was spinning, Gabby squeezing his hand to pull him back with them. She knew he'd been listening, he wouldn't check out during something this important, but he'd mentally stepped back from them for a few minutes and she wanted to make sure he didn't miss out on the chance to ask her any questions. "You have anything?" Gabby asked him softly, Matt breathing deeply as he looked from Gabby to the doctor.
"Have you treated patients with this condition before?" His voice was thick as he spoke, his tone a touch deeper than normal.
"I have." She assured him. "My colleagues have seen this and dealt with it before, and I myself have had two women with this exact same condition. I have seen patients with this before." He nodded, Gabby responding with a nod as well. "Anything else?" She prompted, Gabby and Matt turning to each other, looking to see if either of them had another question. But they were coming up blank. "Well, if something else comes to mind, Gabby you have my number. Feel free to call me whenever you need to and I'll do my best to answer whatever it is. I'm not sure if you all have come to a decision yet about whether or not you want to keep this baby…" She started, eyeing them bother carefully.
"We haven't, not yet. We were waiting for today, so we had all the information." Gabby explained softly.
"That's smart." She responded, glancing down to her calendar. "Well, we'll tentatively schedule you for another appointment in two weeks, and if you all have come to a decision at that point then we'll go from there. If not, we'll just have you do an ultrasound, make sure everything is still looking like it should and figure out the rest as it comes." She told them, Gabby nodding slowly as Matt remained unmoving. "But this is not something to be rushed. Don't think you have to have everything figured out by your next appointment. This is a big decision, take your time. Weigh all the options, and do what's best for you."
"Thank you, Dr. Tanner. Really." Gabby offered, the woman smiling graciously as she stood up from her seat, Gabby and Matt mimicking her actions.
"Of course. I can't imagine how hard this has been on you all, but we'll figure it out. No matter what you two decide to do."
"Thank you." Gabby spoke again, Matt leaning down to grab their things from the floor.
"I'll see you in two weeks." Dr. Tanner said as the couple headed for the door, Gabby nodding as Matt followed behind her. She had just opened the door to leave when Matt's voice stopped her.
"What happened to them?" He asked, Dr. Tanner's eyebrows furrowing in confusion as Gabby turned back around to face them. "Your two other patients that had this aneurysm, what happened to them?"
"One mother and baby did just fine; both happy and healthy."
"And the other one?" He practically whispered, almost afraid of the answer.
"The baby was perfectly healthy."
"...And the mother?"
"She didn't make it."
His heart sank to his stomach, that familiar feeling of dread that had consumed him lately coming back in waves. He couldn't do much else but nod, turning towards the exit prompting Gabby to leave as well, not missing the similar look of fear on her face.
He'd spent the last two weeks hoping and praying that this appointment would give him answers. There was a small part of him that hoped this problem would magically be solved as soon as they saw the doctor, but that was naive of him. If anything, all he had was more concern and worry, knowing that his worst fears were likely coming true, and he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to stop it.
Phew, well there it is. Seems like Gabby and Matt might kind of be in two different places about this baby. And there's still a lot of unknown around this pregnancy, and if they'll even keep the baby. As I'm sure you can imagine, there's a storm coming...
Also, I'm back home now and as much as I enjoyed my vacation, it's good to be back. I want to thank everyone who sent me such sweet messages, especially the well wishes for being sick. You all are the absolute kindest people in the world, seriously.
I had to do so much research for this chapter, it was kind of ridiculous but also kinda interesting. I tried so hard to get the details right, but never having been pregnant myself, I was going solely off the internet. I apologize if some things are wrong, I tried my best. But the overwhelming thing I found when researching this aneurysm is how rare it is. Which honestly makes me just side-eye the writers even more for doing that to Gabby like cmon she'd already been through enough, then you give her this super rare medical condition so she shouldn't have children? And while I was researching, it became glaringly obvious how half-assed this storyline was done on the show. It was done so poorly. I'll always just be annoyed at how Dawsey's storyline/Gabby's exit storyline was written, is the point of this.
But anyway, I didn't mean to rant haha. I hope you all enjoyed this one, if you can please leave me a review and let me know what you thought! Thanks so much for reading! Wish I could say things are going to get easier for them, but I can't. Until the next one.