Hello! Here's another chapter for you all. I know you all are eager to see what happens. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Thirty Four
"Let's go sit down, okay?" Jemma suggested, trying to mask the clear panic in her voice, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Gabby's arm. Norris wasn't even sure her words had been heard by Gabby, the woman giving no sign of response. Noticing Dawson's pale complexion, Jemma tightened her grip, her eyebrows furrowing as she saw Gabby's legs begin to tremor.
And the next thing she knew, Gabby was on the floor.
"Gabby!" Jemma yelled as she saw Dawson's body make painful contact with the ground, Norris kneeling down beside her immediately, placing her fingers against Gabby's neck as she checked for a pulse. She released a breath she didn't realize she'd be holding when she felt the rapid thumping beneath her fingertips. Gabby's heart was racing, but she was alive.
"Help!" Jemma screamed as loud as she could. "Help!" It took only seconds for the double doors to fly open, Blevins being the first one who came running, quickly followed by the three other paramedics, Chief Walters not far behind.
"What happened?" Blevins asked frantically, his eyes widening as he registered the scene in front of him.
"We were talking and she just collapsed. I've got a pulse and she's breathing, but her heart is racing. I need someone to get the gurney." She ordered, Turner running towards the closest ambulance, unloading the bed as quickly as he could. "Decker, Murray, can you help me turn her?" With close precision, the three paramedics carefully moved Gabby from her side to her back as Turner arrived next to them with the gurney.
"Did she mention anything that was wrong?" Chief Walters asked, his face stoic despite the situation, Jemma catching the true meaning behind his words. They were still the only two in the house who knew of Gabby's pregnancy, but Norris was sure that wouldn't be the case for much longer.
"No, she didn't. Before our call, she was acting a little off. But I just thought she was tired." Jemma spoke as she continued to further access Dawson's condition. "We were walking and she just stopped, put her hand on her head and collapsed." She explained while keeping focus on her friend. "She's still unresponsive Chief, we need to get her to med."
The five paramedics began working seamlessly as they transferred her onto the backboard, no one wanting to take any risks. Although Jemma was almost certain it wasn't necessary, she didn't know if Gabby had hit her head, or done any damage to her neck, and they weren't about to take the chance.
On Norris' count, they got her lifted onto the bed, Murray and Turner loading her into the ambulance, Jemma waiting to get in.
"Turner, Murray, you all go with them. I'll take both ambos out of service for now."
"Got it, Chief." Murray spoke, Turner hopping into the back and beginning to pull out the wires to get her on the monitor.
Jemma pushed herself up into the back of the ambulance, sitting down beside the gurney, beginning to unzip Gabby's jacket, needing to get it out of the way.
"Norris." Walters called, the woman looking up quickly. "Let us know what's going on." She simply nodded before turning her attention back to Gabby, carefully attaching the wires to her. Murray shut the back doors before hurrying to the driver's seat, pulling out from the garage as quickly as possible, sirens blaring.
"So she just passed out?" Turner asked as Jemma got the last wire attached, Norris frowning as she saw the numbers appear on the screen.
"We need to get her on oxygen, she's not getting enough air." Norris spoke, Turner reaching for the supplies, handing the mask to Jemma as he got the air going. Norris carefully placed the oxygen mask over her face, strapping it behind her head before moving to continue her assessment.
"Norris?"
"What?" She asked, trying to calm the nerves coursing through her system.
"Gabby- she just passed out? Nothing happened?" He asked again, Norris sighing heavily.
"No, nothing happened. She- she's… no." She stumbled over her words, her mind running frantically as she tried to figure out what could've caused this.
"She's what?"
"She's pregnant." Jemma spoke, Turner's eyes widening in surprise. "And I don't know if something with that caused this, or if it was unrelated, but we need to get her to med."
Jemma had never been one to panic. She was level-headed and focused, always able to look at things rationally. She was never one to act on emotion alone. But right now, she was scared. She was scared of what caused this to happen, scared of what it might mean for Gabby and her baby. But she couldn't let herself get lost in that fear, not when Dawson needed her to do her job.
"We're almost there, Norris." Elizabeth called from the front seat, Jemma nodding as she kept glancing to Gabby's vitals. Her heart was still racing, and she had yet to regain consciousness, neither of which were good signs.
Taking a steadying breath, Jemma's eyes widened as a sudden realization hit her, the woman fishing through her pockets trying to find her phone. Once in her grasp, she all but threw it at Turner, Nick looking at her in confusion. "Go to my contacts, look for Matt Casey."
The same realization soon showed on Turner's face as well, him beginning to fumble with her phone, searching for the man's name. "Ah shit, her husband. I completely forgot." He muttered, putting the device up to his ear.
"Tell him what happened, and that we're taking her to med." As the words left Jemma's mouth, the ambulance came to a stop, Murray practically throwing herself from the driver's seat before coming around to get the back doors open.
"He's not answering." Turner spoke as they unloaded Gabby, the woman still unconscious on the bed.
"Keep trying. I'm not sure if he's on shift or not." She responded, the three paramedics rushing inside, Norris and Murray on either side of the bed while Turner followed behind, trying to get ahold of Casey.
"What do we got- Dawson?" Maggie's eyes widened as he saw who was on the bed. "What happened?"
"She collapsed at work. She, uh, she hasn't regained consciousness since." Jemma explained quickly, her mind running rampant as Maggie lead them to a room. They got her moved onto the hospital bed quickly, Murray moving the gurney from the room to give them space.
"We got her." Maggie spoke strongly, as nurses began to crowd around Gabby. "We'll come get you when we know something." She led Jemma towards the door, Jemma glancing back to Gabby. "Norris, I promise. She's in good hands."
"I know, it's just- she's pregnant."
A look of shock flashed over Maggie's face before she regained control of her reaction, breathing deeply. "How far along?"
"I… I don't know. I'm not sure, you'd have to ask Casey. She found out about a month ago, Dr. Rhodes told her, but uh- I don't know." Jemma was blurting out any information she had, trying to get her mind to focus.
"I'll talk to Dr. Rhodes. Have you called Casey?"
"We're trying."
Nodding understandingly, Maggie had to practically push the paramedic from the room. "Okay. I'll let you know as soon as we know anything."
Jemma stood just outside the door, watching as Maggie slid it closed, her eyes on Gabby until the curtain closed, her friend now out of her sight.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Jemma stepped away from the room, shoving her trembling hands into her pockets as she looked around, finding Turner standing a few feet away by the nurses station.
"Were you able to reach him?" Norris asked, leaning her weight against the counter.
"No, voicemail every time. I'm guessing he's on shift, maybe out on a call." Turner commented softly, handing the phone back to Jemma. "Murray went to move the ambo, she'll be back."
Nodding in response, Jemma called Matt again, blowing out a frustrated sigh as it went to voicemail again. She didn't want to leave this kind of news for him in a message, but if she couldn't get ahold of him soon, she'd have to. He needed to know what was going on.
Norris kept her phone in her grasp, frantic movement catching her attention as she looked up, seeing both Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Manning rushing to Gabby's room, quickly disappearing behind the curtain.
Every minute that ticked by felt like an eternity, Jemma unable to pull her attention from Gabby's room, afraid she might miss something if she looked away. She didn't even realize Murray had gotten back, not until she spoke up.
"Should we go wait out front?" She suggested, not wanting the three of them to be in the way. She was as worried about Dawson as anyone, but the ER was hectic, and all they were doing now was taking up space.
"Uh, you all can. I'm gonna stay here." Norris replied, Murray and Turner sharing a knowing glance before nodding.
"Alright, I'll call Chief, let him know we got here. Keep us updated." Murray said, patting Jemma's arm before the two paramedics walked away, heading for the waiting room.
Positioning herself where Turner had been standing, Jemma now had a clear view of Gabby's room, her gaze focused intently on it. Every few moments she would glance down to her phone, just to make sure she hadn't missed anything from Matt.
She wasn't even sure how much time had passed when there was movement from Gabby's room, seeing a few nurses go in and out, clearly on a mission. It could've been two minutes, it could've been fifteen minutes, she had no idea. But as far as Jemma knew, Maggie hadn't left the room, and neither had Dr. Rhodes or Dr. Manning, which Norris could only assume to be a bad sign. The doctors being in there this long was one thing, but Maggie? That woman ran this place, and for her to be focusing all her attention on Dawson, it was worrisome.
Norris' head snapped to the entrance as she heard a vaguely familiar voice, immediately seeing Gabby's old partner bringing in a patient, the blonde rattling off the details of her transport as they got sent to a room. Glancing back to Gabby's room quickly, she focused her full attention on the paramedics, her fingers tapping anxiously against the counter.
When the woman and her partner came out of the room with their gurney, Jemma took the opening to get her attention. "Brett!" She called across the busy room, her voice sounding half like a question, not completely certain if that was the woman's name or not. Aside from meeting her once, she'd had no contact with the woman, and the paramedic wasn't really a topic of conversation between her and Dawson. But thankfully the blonde looked over, realization setting in her face after a few seconds, the look morphing into confusion. Norris saw her signal something to her partner- Jemma not even able to recall if they'd been introduced before, watching as the blonde made her way over.
"Hey, Jemma." Brett greeted, Norris glancing back over to Gabby's room once more, needing to know she wasn't missing something, before looking back to the woman Dawson used to work with.
"Hey, is Casey on shift today?" Brett picked up on the frantic tone in Norris' voice, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion but nodding nonetheless.
"He is, we were all at a fire. Foster and I just dropped off our patient, why?" She asked, her eyes moving around the room. "Where's Gabby?"
"Can I use your radio?" Norris asked, ignoring her questions, Brett's confusion only growing. "I need to talk to Matt, and I can't reach him."
"Yeah, of course." Brett put up zero resistance, seeing the young woman in front of her in near panic. "What happened, Jemma?" She asked as she unclipped her radio from her jacket, the cord stretching as she held it out to her.
"Gabby collapsed at work. I don't know why, but as far as I know she hasn't regained consciousness." She rambled out.
"Oh my God." Brett murmured, turning to look towards Foster, waving the woman over.
"This will get me through to his truck?" She asked for clarification as she held the device in her hand, seeing Brett's partner come up to them.
"Yeah, it'll get you through to the whole firehouse, but Casey will hear it."
Matt stood by the passenger side of Truck 81, watching as his firefighters put their equipment away, all of them exhausted after battling this fire for the better part of the afternoon. Luckily no one had gotten seriously hurt, but the scene was a rough one. He knew the entire house was looking forward to getting back and hopefully having a few moments to rest.
"Casey?"
Matt furrowed his eyebrows as a static-y voice came through the radio, everyone halting what they were doing as they heard his name.
"Casey? Can you hear me?"
There was a clarity in the voice this time, Matt's heart rate speeding up as he immediately recognized it, bringing his hand up to his radio to respond.
"Jemma?"
"Matt! I need you to get to med, right now!" Her voice was panicked, Casey signaling his firefighters with his free hand to hurry getting the rig packed up, all of them beginning to move at lightning speed, not caring if it was done correctly. It could be fixed later. "Gabby… she collapsed at work, I don't know what happened. But we got her here as soon as we could."
"Otis, get us to med, now!" Matt ordered, jumping into the rig, returning his attention back to Jemma. "So, she just collapsed? Is she okay?! Do they know what caused it?" His words were rushed, Otis barely waiting for the last door to shut before he pulled away from the curb, the sirens blaring on the rig as the firefighter rushed to the hospital.
"She never regained consciousness," Jemma spoke, Matt choking out a breath. "I'm not sure if she's woken up, Dr. Rhodes and Dr. Manning are in there with her right now. I… I don't know anything."
Blowing out a shaky breath, Matt slammed his hand down against the dashboard in frustration, everyone in the truck watching him closely. "I'll be there soon." He responded, dropping his hand from the radio, bringing it up to rub roughly over his face, forcing himself to stay as composed as possible until he knew for sure what was going on.
Jemma and Brett stood at the nurses station, neither woman saying anything as they both stared at Dawson's room. There had been a lot of the nurses going in and out, but no one had come to speak to Jemma yet. They had no idea what was going on, every member of the staff making sure to shut the curtain each and every time they came and went.
After Norris finished talking to Casey, Foster went to get the gurney into the ambo and move the rig, knowing they couldn't keep it blocking the entrance. When Brett had instructed her partner to do that, it was then Jemma realized the women weren't going anywhere, the young paramedic feeling grateful that Gabby would have more people here for her.
"Norris!" Jemma moved her gaze towards the sound, seeing Casey running towards her frantically, Foster behind him. The woman had been on her way back in when 81 pulled up, practically pulling Casey through the entrance and pointing Jemma and Brett out to him.
"She's still in there, I haven't heard anything." Jemma replied as he got to her, seeing the worry and panic he held in his demeanor.
"What happened?" His voice was unsteady, unshed tears shining in his eyes.
"We were at the house, we'd just gotten back from a call. She seemed okay, she was exhausted, but we were walking and she stopped. She grabbed her head, and then she just passed out. We got her here as soon as we could, but I don't know what's going on."
Closing his eyes, he ran a hand over his mouth. "...And the baby?" Matt knew who else was standing with them, but he didn't care.
"I… I don't know, Matt. I'm sorry."
"Where is she?" He asked, looking around at the different rooms.
"Right there." Jemma pointed towards her room, Matt taking off in that direction as soon as his eyes found it. "But I don't think they're letting anyone in right now." Her words fell on deaf ears, Matt continuing his path towards the room Gabby was in.
"...Baby?" Jemma turned her head towards Brett, the look of shock still present across her face. "Gabby's pregnant?"
Jemma's bottom lip fell in between her teeth, now understanding that when Gabby had said they weren't telling people about the pregnancy, that meant they weren't telling anyone, Firehouse 51 included.
"She is… I don't think they were wanting to tell people yet, but yeah, Gabby's pregnant." Glancing between Brett and Foster, Jemma saw the stunned looks on both of their faces, the blonde clearly more thrown by the news than the other.
Norris had always been curious about the relationship between Gabby and her former partner, getting the sense that something had happened there, but never wanting to ask. But she couldn't focus on that right now, all she was worried about was Gabby, Norris hoping and praying that her friend and that little baby would be just fine.
"But I don't think they're letting anyone in right now."
Matt ignored Jemma's words as he marched towards Gabby's room, seeing members of truck in his peripheral vision, them and squad having made their way into the ER, but he couldn't focus on them right now. He needed to get to Gabby. He needed to see her, and make sure she was okay.
As soon as he got to the door, he slid it open forcefully, roughly pushing back the curtain, his eyes fixated on the bed. Gabby was lying there, her jacket pulled off and her shirt cut open, monitors attached all over her chest. She was connected to oxygen, tears filling his eyes as he took in her appearance. Dr. Manning was currently performing an ultrasound, Dr. Rhodes standing by her head as he held his stethoscope over her chest. Seeing all the machines and chaos around her was frightening enough, but it was made all the worse by the fact that her eyes were still closed.
As far as he could tell, she hadn't woken up yet, and he was terrified of what that meant.
"Gabby…" He whispered, his eyes fixated on her.
"Casey-"
When Dr. Rhodes said his name, Gabby's eyes snapped open, Matt releasing a grateful breath as it sunk in that she was conscious, her eyes had just been closed. A tear slid down his cheek, Gabby's soft cries turning into sobs when she saw him standing there.
"Matt!" She cried out, reaching out for his hand. He ran to the bed, squeezing himself in between a nurse and one of her machines, grabbing her hand immediately.
"I'm here, I'm right here." He assured her, leaning over the bed and placing a kiss on her forehead, his own tears hitting her skin.
Maggie moved to close the curtain that had been left open by Matt's entrance, Dr. Rhodes frowning as he saw Gabby's heart rate increasing again on the monitor.
"I don't know what happened, I just got really dizzy and everything went black. I don't remember... I don't-" She started choking on her own breaths as she cried, the fear and panic hitting her all over again, Matt cradling her head with his free hand.
"Gabby, you need to try and breathe, okay? We need to get you calmed down." Dr. Rhodes spoke firmly, Matt rubbing his thumb over her temple as her eyes locked with his.
"Just breathe, okay. You're fine. Just watch me." Matt said gently, beginning to take deep breaths, Gabby mimicking his actions, effectively getting her heart rate to settle a little.
"Matt… the baby." Tears escaped down her cheeks, Matt's head snapping towards Dr. Manning, who was still moving the wand over Gabby's stomach, searching for different positions.
"Is the baby okay?" He asked, nerves filling his body.
"Just give me one second here." Natalie murmured, Matt feeling Gabby's grip on his hand tighten. He stroked the side of her face, trying to keep her calm despite the overwhelming fear he was feeling.
"Matt, what if something's-"
Gabby's pained words were cut off by the loud, rhythmic thumping of their baby's heartbeat. A cry escaped her lips as her head fell back against the pillow, Gabby filled with comfort as the sound filled her ears.
"The heartbeat is a little fast, but from what I'm seeing baby looks good." Dr. Manning told them, tears continuously streaming down Gabby's face.
Matt's gaze was glued to her stomach, tears welling in his eyes as he continued to listen to the heartbeat. The sound he'd heard twice before, that had previously created a mixture of emotions within him. But today, when hearing that sound, he was overwhelmed with just one.
Relief.
Relief that this baby, their baby, was okay. Relief that Gabby, as far as he could tell, was going to be fine. Relief that he wasn't losing the two most important things in his life.
He just wished it didn't have to come to this for him to realize it.
Gabby squeezing his hand snapped his focus back to her, seeing the pensive look on her face, clearly weary of his reaction. But when he broke out into a grateful smile, she felt relieved, Matt leaning down to place another kiss on her forehead. "God, baby, I'm so glad you're okay." He whispered against her skin, "that the both of you are okay." When he pulled back, he saw the understanding in her face, realizing the meaning behind his words, more tears filling her eyes.
"I paged your doctor, Gabby." Dr. Manning spoke, breaking up the moment between the couple. "She'll be here soon, but we're gonna go ahead and get you admitted. Even if she gives the all clear, I want to keep you here for at least a night, just to keep an eye on you and the baby." Natalie told them, Gabby nodding understandingly, turning her attention to the ceiling.
As she laid there on the bed, she forced herself to continue taking steady breaths, trying to get the lingering terror to leave her system, but it wasn't easy. Today had scared her, and the fact that she didn't know what had caused it was making it worse.
She had her guesses, knowing the amount of stress she'd been under wasn't good for her or the baby. That stress had only gotten worse since her appointment a few days ago, her and Matt barely speaking at all. And that combined with her inability to keep food down, mixed with her lack of appetite the last few days, it was a recipe for disaster.
And a disaster it had been.
But she was okay. Her baby was okay. And she had to hold onto that. Although she'd feel much better once she had some reassurance from Dr. Tanner. But she trusted Natalie, knowing the woman wouldn't have told her everything was okay if there was even the slightest possibility of something being wrong.
"Hey." Matt whispered, Gabby's eyes blinking furiously as she was pulled back into the present, registering the feeling of Matt's hand moving softly over the top of her head. "You okay?"
He'd seen her check out momentarily, his eyes staying focused on her despite the number of people coming in and out of the room. But now it was just them, Dr. Rhodes, and two other nurses, things in the small space calming considerably.
"I am… I'm just- I'm tired."
"I know. We're gonna get you upstairs soon and you can rest." He assured her, leaning down to place a soft yet emotion filled kiss to her lips, the short action giving them both some comfort that they desperately needed.
"So, Dawson," Dr. Rhodes spoke, tablet in hand as he captured the attention of the pair, Matt standing up straight for the first time since he got to her bedside, his joints cracking at the change in position. "I'll wait and let Dr. Tanner give you your official diagnosis once she sees you, but based on everything I'm seeing and what you've told me, this was stress induced. We couldn't find anything medically wrong with you, so that's a good thing." He spoke, Matt continuing to rub over the top of her head as Connor talked to them. "It's a good thing, because we know how to fix it. And as long as you take care of yourself, there's no reason for it to happen again."
"Okay." She replied quietly.
"How much have you had to eat today?" He asked, a look of guilt flashing in her eyes.
"I, uh- not much. I only had a granola bar this morning."
"And to drink?"
Clearing her throat, she blinked back the tears sitting in her eyes. "Nothing really."
Nodding understandingly, Connor put the tablet down. "You have to take care of yourself, Gabby. It seems like your body shut down, from the combination of stress and a lack of nutrients. That's what caused the numbness and the problems with your vision." He explained, Matt's eyebrows furrowing, not knowing either of those things had happened. "But, for you and your baby, you have to make sure you're eating and drinking."
"I know, I'm sorry." She whimpered, tears falling down her cheeks. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry."
"Gabby, hey, listen to me." Matt spoke, placing his hand under her chin to get her to look at him. "It's okay. You're okay, our baby's okay. Everything's fine." He hated that she was blaming herself for this, when in fact if anyone was to blame here, it was him.
"Casey's right, Gabby. I know you didn't mean for this to happen, you just have to be more mindful of making sure you're eating enough. Once we get you upstairs, we'll get some food sent to your room. But everything's fine." He reassured her, wanting to keep her calm. They had only just managed to get her heart rate and blood pressure to return to normal, she didn't need to get worked up again. "We're gonna get you moved here soon, alright? Just try and rest." He spoke, giving her a sympathetic smile before heading for the exit.
The next few minutes went by quickly, Matt being forced to move away from the bed as a few nurses got Gabby changed into a gown. Casey was put in charge of her clothing, folding the items as they were handed to him and putting them in the bag he'd been given, having to toss her shirt into the trash, the cut fabric not salvageable. Once she was adjusted under the blanket, two transport nurses came in and began the process of getting her upstairs, Matt staying out of the way as he followed behind her bed. He wanted to go give the house and Jemma an update, to tell them that Gabby was awake and she was okay, but he couldn't leave her. Not when every few seconds she'd glance backwards, checking to make sure he was still within reach.
When they got to her room for the night, they locked her bed in place, adjusting her machines and her IV as Matt placed her belongings down beside the chair, shrugging his turnout jacket off and placing it over the back of the furniture before turning to look at Gabby. It was only the two of them in here now, the nurses having just left, closing the door behind them, Matt watching her with a look of sadness covering his face. She looked so small in that bed, her watery eyes staring off blankly, the woman occasionally sniffling every few moments.
"Baby…" He called gently, moving to sit carefully on the edge of her bed by her waist, Gabby's head turning towards him as he reached for her hand that was cradling her stomach. The second their eyes locked, more tears escaped down her already stained cheeks, his heart shattering in his chest.
"I'm so sorry." She apologized, squeezing his hand tightly. "I should've never-"
"Gabby, stop." He interrupted, shaking his head as tears welled in his own eyes. "This is not your fault, please stop blaming yourself." He pleaded. "Everything that happened today, that's on me. Not you."
"Matt…"
"No, this, today- that was my fault. The way I've been acting, the way I've been treating you… I caused this. You did nothing wrong, okay?." He spoke, clearing his throat as a lone tear fell down his cheek. "I was stressing you out to the point where you couldn't even eat. This is on me. I hurt you… I hurt our child. If something had happened to either of you, I would've never forgiven myself." He whispered, Gabby's free hand coming up to cradle his cheek.
"But I still should've taken better care of myself." She spoke sadly.
"Maybe so. But it would've never been an issue if not for me. I'm the one who was making this hard. I was pushing you away because I was angry, and I didn't even stop to realize what this was doing to you. That's on me, okay? So please, don't blame yourself for this."
Gabby ran her thumb over his skin, Matt leaning into her touch as he released a heavy sigh, knowing he had a lot of apologizing to do.
"I love you, Gabby. I love you so much. The thought of losing you, or something happening to you because of this pregnancy, it was making me crazy. But I handled it all wrong. Instead of actually trying to come to terms with it, I was just angry, and then I shut down. You were right." He breathed out. "I kept telling myself that I was just trying to figure everything out, but I wasn't. At first I was trying to come to terms with all this, but I couldn't and it was making me angry. So I just tried to ignore it instead, and I shut you out. And that's not fair to you. You didn't deserve that." He spoke quietly, their teary eyes locked on one another. "I'm sorry my actions caused this. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. This is hard, this entire situation isn't what I ever imagined for us, but you never deserved me shutting you out."
She slowly nodded at him, Matt continuing. "You are what's important here, your safety, your life, is why this was so hard for me in the first place. But instead of focusing on that, I got angry. I lost sight of what was important, and I hurt you in the process."
"I know you never meant for any of this to happen." She murmured. "And despite what you're saying, this is on the both of us. It's not just on you."
He shrugged slightly, not really believing her statement but the last thing he was going to do was fight her on it.
"But nothing excuses the way I've been handling this. I was so scared of losing you, but instead of working through that I pushed you away. I pushed away our child, because it was easier than accepting something happening to you." His voice was shaky, tears streaming down both their faces. "But I can't do that anymore, I don't want to. I love you, and I love this baby. When we heard the heartbeat today and Dr. Manning told us our baby was okay, I've never felt so relieved in my life." He admitted, Gabby stroking his cheek. "And honestly, I'm still not okay with the possibility of losing you, truthfully I probably never will be. I don't want to lie to you and tell you I'm fine with what this might mean, but I'm in this. A few days ago when you said you needed to know we're in this together, I promise you we are." He assured her, seeing a small, hopeful smile fall onto her face. "We always are. And I should've let you know that then, instead of causing all this. I wish it never got to this point, that it didn't take something like this for me to get my priorities straight. I am so sorry, Gabby. I just hope you can forgive me for everything I've put you through."
She nodded softly at him, using the hand on his cheek to guide him towards her, Matt ducking his head to meet her lips, the two connecting in a soft, longing kiss. After a few moments, Gabby pulled back first, sliding her hand down from his cheek to his neck, rubbing her thumb softly over his skin.
"It hurt. I can't say it didn't, the way you were acting hurt. But I know why this is so hard for you." She told him, Matt clasping his hand around her wrist, guilt shining in his eyes. "I know I'm not blameless here. Just, the next time you're feeling like this, please talk to me. Or talk to someone. Please don't shut down like this again." She pleaded, Matt shaking his head.
"I won't. I promise you, I won't." He nearly whispered, rubbing his thumb gently on the outside of her wrist. "I know everything with us has been hard, and I know there's a lot of uncertainty with this pregnancy, but whatever happens, it's you and me. We're in this together, I'm sorry I made you believe otherwise. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize what's important. But all that matters is you and our baby." His words brought a soft smile to her face, Matt bringing his free hand to rest on her leg. "It's still going to be difficult for me to accept something might happen to you. But I'm done being angry. Being angry almost cost me everything." His voice faltered, Gabby rubbing her thumb in a soothing motion over his skin. "I wish I could take it all back. But I love you so much, and I am in this. Completely. I need you to know that."
"I do." She whispered, pulling him back towards her as they connected in a gentle kiss, Matt's hand moving from her leg to her side as he inched closer to her, their actions slow and purposeful.
They pulled back from one another, their foreheads touching as their eyes were closed, the two enjoying each other's touch, finding comfort in one another for the first time in weeks.
The two pulled apart when they heard the door slide open, Matt turning around to see Dr. Tanner standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry to interrupt, can I come in?" She asked, both Gabby and Matt nodding as Matt stood up from the bed. Dr. Tanner walked into the room, closing the door behind her before making her way to the couple, a calm smile on her face. "So, how are you feeling?" She asked softly, Gabby drawing in a deep breath.
"I feel alright now. Nothing is hurting or anything, it just scared me."
"I'm sure it did. What exactly happened?" Dr. Tanner asked, her eyes bouncing from Gabby to the tablet in her hands.
"I was on shift, and I had been feeling a little dizzy and nauseous throughout the day. But when I'd gotten back from my last call, I was walking and then it all hit me at once. I got really lightheaded, my head started killing me, my vision started to go black. And my entire body felt numb." She explained, blinking back the tears as she relived the fear she'd felt in the moment.
Dr. Tanner nodded understandingly, sighing softly as she put the tablet down on the table, holding her arms down in front of her. "I know this scared you, Gabby. And I think this experience does more than a lecture from me ever could, but you have to take better care of yourself. This can't happen again." She spoke firmly, Gabby nodding as a lone tear escaped down her face. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen, and that you have a lot going on, but you have to be paying attention to how much you're eating and drinking."
"I know."
"This is really my fault." Matt spoke up, Dr. Tanner glancing towards him. "Gabby and I, we've been kind of in a rough spot with this pregnancy and I wasn't making things easy on her. I added a lot of unnecessary stress to her, but it won't happen again. I won't let it." He spoke strongly.
"I know this is a hard situation for you all, but Matt I meant what I said about needing your help just as much as I need Gabby's. I don't want either of you to go through this again, and I certainly don't want your baby going through it. We don't need to be making things any harder." She spoke firmly, both Gabby and Matt nodding. "But I do know this wasn't intentional, on either of you. But hopefully now you won't put your health on the back burner, Gabby. You see how easily things can go wrong."
"I won't." Gabby assured her, Dr. Tanner nodding.
"Good. Now that that's out of the way, I am glad to see you and the baby are okay. When I got the page that you were here, it worried me. But, luckily, this is nothing that can't be fixed with some fluids, a few meals, and some rest." She spoke, the gentle smile returning to her face. "I spoke with Dr. Rhodes before coming in here, and from everything I saw I've come to the same conclusion that he did, that this was your body going into survival mode, from the stress, exhaustion, and lack of food. Everything it did have, it was giving to your baby. And I got a look at all your vitals," She glanced towards the screen that was monitoring her, before looking back to Gabby, "I'm glad to see your blood pressure and heart rate are back to where they should be. They were dangerously high when you were brought in and in the ER."
"Yeah, that's what Dr. Rhodes said. When I woke up, I panicked." Gabby explained, Matt grabbing a hold of her hand. "At first I didn't remember what happened and I was scared. But then when I did realize what was going on, I was worried about the baby, and it was hard to calm down."
"That's understandable. I'm just glad to see the numbers back to normal. I know they were a little high during our appointment, too. So I'm happy to see that those look pretty good. But as for what's next, I'm having you take off work for the next two weeks, until our next appointment. It's a little less than two weeks, but I don't want you doing anything except resting. I mean it, you're not allowed to do anything except get food or go to the bathroom." She spoke, seeing the slight grimace on Gabby's face. "I know it's against your nature, but this is important Gabby. Your body needs rest. And I also want you to call the office in a week, so I can check in and see how you're feeling."
"Okay, and what about after those two weeks?" She questioned, Dr. Tanner pursing her lips together. "Will I be able to get back to work?"
"Tentatively, I'm going to say yes." She replied wearily. "But, when you do get back to work, you are now on light duty until the end of this pregnancy. And by light duty I mean you're more an observer than anything else. No lifting, no jumping into cars, no doing anything too strenuous. I know it's pretty early on in your pregnancy, but there's a lot of risk here and we need to control what we can."
"I understand." She responded, tightening the grip on Matt's hand.
"But, first I want to see how you're feeling in two weeks before I send you back to work. Like I told you, we're doing everything on a week to week basis here, Gabby. But, as long as you're feeling alright, I'd be fine letting you work. As long as you don't overdo it."
"Okay."
"Now, before I go, I'd like to do my own ultrasound on you, just so I can see everything for myself." Gabby nodded, Dr. Tanner excusing herself from the room, only gone for a few moments before she returned with the machine, shutting the door behind her.
Gabby got adjusted on the bed, Dr. Tanner pulling the curtain closed around them, giving them privacy as Gabby lifted up her gown, Matt placing himself on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arm around her. Gabby leaned into his side, the two waiting patiently as Dr. Tanner got set up, both their eyes focused on the screen.
It took only seconds for them to make out their baby, similar smiles lighting up their faces as they held onto one another.
"And just as I suspected, everything looks good." She commented, moving the wand around her stomach. Gabby and Matt were both content to sit there and watch the screen while Dr. Tanner double checked everything, Gabby relaxing into his hold, Matt leaning down to place a kiss against the top of her head.
"I love you." He murmured into her hair, Gabby turning her head up to look at him, a wide smile on her face. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss to his lips, pulling back seconds later.
"I love you, too." She whispered, Matt grinning as they turned their attention back towards the ultrasound, both of them relishing in the feeling of this moment.
Kelly and Jemma stepped out of the elevator, walking through the halls of Chicago Med as they searched for Gabby's room.
It had been about two hours since all of 51 arrived, and after a little sweet talking from Kelly, Severide was able to get the location of Dawson's room out of Maggie, swearing to the woman that he owed her one before going back towards the waiting room and grabbing Jemma. Admittedly, Kelly didn't know Jemma very well, having only met her once. But he'd heard about her from both Matt and Gabby, and he could tell that even in just a short time, she'd become an important person in Gabby's life. And he knew the feeling was mutual, seeing how tense and worried she'd been from the moment squad got here. He knew she'd want to be able to check on her friend, and seeing as how Matt and Gabby were unaware of their impending visit, he knew Jemma would be a face Gabby would be comfortable seeing right now.
"Ah, there it is." Severide spoke, the two walking up to the closed door. Through the glass they were able to see the couple sitting on the bed, Gabby eating some food as Matt sat next to her. Before even entering, he could tell they were in surprisingly good spirits, which Kelly was grateful for. From their demeanor alone, he knew nothing too bad could've happened. Knocking on the door, he watched as both their heads snapped over towards the noise, Matt waving them in. "Hey there." Kelly said lightly as he poked his head in.
"Hey guys." Gabby replied with a smile, Matt pushing himself up off the bed to greet his friends. He went to Kelly first, giving him a quick hug before turning his attention to Jemma. To her surprise, he pulled her into a tight embrace, Norris feeling how grateful he was in his actions alone.
"Thank you, for looking out for her and taking care of her. I can never repay you for that." He spoke softly, Jemma smiling as they separated.
"Of course. I'm just glad she's okay." She responded, before the three made their way towards the bed.
"So Dawson, how are you feeling?" Kelly asked, stopping at the bottom of the bed as Matt came to reclaim his spot beside her, resting his arm behind her head.
"I'm okay. Exhausted, and a little on edge, but okay."
"And the baby's okay?" Jemma asked quietly, relief flooding her system as Gabby nodded.
"The baby's fine."
"That's great." Jemma murmured, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "You had me worried there for awhile."
"Yeah, you had us all worried Dawson." Kelly spoke, her eyebrows furrowing.
"All?"
"Everyone from 51 is here, they're downstairs in the waiting room."
"Oh, wow- I didn't know."
"Yeah, we all heard Jemma's call to Matt over the radio and came here as soon as we could. They'll be glad to know you're alright."
"I appreciate all you guys being here, but you really didn't have to." She replied, resting her head on Matt's shoulder. He could feel the exhaustion radiating off her body, and truthfully he wasn't sure how she was still awake. After Dr. Tanner had left, she had almost dozed off, until she'd been woken up by her food coming. But he could tell she was desperate for some rest.
"Of course we did." Kelly answered with a grin, Gabby returning the gesture.
"So, do they, uh- do they all know about the baby?"
Shrugging softly, Kelly glanced to Jemma before turning back towards the couple. "I didn't hear anyone saying anything about it, which, knowing that group, if they knew they'd be talking about it constantly."
"Brett and Foster know." Matt replied, Gabby lifting her head to look at him. "They heard me talking to Jemma when I first got here, so I assume they know."
"They do." Jemma confirmed, Gabby nodding as she relaxed back into Matt's side.
"Speaking of… I think I need to tell Boden." Matt started. "With how frequent your appointments are gonna be, there's no telling how many times I'll need to duck out of shift to go with you. I think he needs to know why I'll be needing to leave so much. And after everything today, I'm not sure if that'll mean more frequent doctor's visits down the road. I just want to be able to leave shift if I need to."
"That's fine." She whispered, Matt able to tell she was half asleep.
"Are you sure? Cause I know you said you wanted to wait."
"It is. I know you'd feel better with him knowing, and I'm not sure how much longer it'll be until everyone finds out anyway, I don't mind, Matt." She murmured, her eyes drooping as she spoke. He simply nodded, placing a kiss to the top of her head.
"We're gonna get out of here, let her get some rest. We just wanted to make sure she was okay." Kelly spoke quietly, Matt feeling more and more of Gabby's weight fall into him.
"Thanks for coming, you guys. Really." Matt replied, flashing them a thankful smile as they left the room, closing the door behind them.
Matt sat quietly on Gabby's bed, weary of moving even a muscle as the woman in his arms slept peacefully. It had been about half an hour since Kelly and Jemma left, and the minute they were gone, she was out. Matt had managed to make them a little more comfortable, shifting Gabby from the center of the bed to give him more space, his legs crossed as Gabby was tucked into his side, her head resting on his chest as she slept soundly.
He'd taken to listening to the rhythmic sound of her heart monitor beeping as he sat there with his eyes closed, the dim lights partnered with Gabby's steady breathing making it hard for him to fight off his own exhaustion.
About ten minutes ago a nurse had been in to replace her bag of fluids, Matt grimacing as they messed with her IV. Thankfully, she slept right through it, Matt surprised but grateful that her much needed rest hadn't been disturbed. On the way out, the nurse had turned down the lights, Matt giving her a grateful smile before she disappeared out the door.
And now here he sat, forcing himself to stay awake just in case Gabby woke up and needed something, his mind unable to keep from all the thoughts surrounding why they were here today. He knew how terribly things could've gone, how something could have happened to their baby. And if that had been the case, not only would he have never forgiven himself, he was sure Gabby wouldn't have either. But thankfully, they didn't have to worry about that. Gabby was fine, and their baby was fine. He just had to hold onto that.
The sound of the door sliding open caught his attention, Matt assuming it was another nurse coming to check up on Gabby. But when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see Antonio standing in the doorway, his eyes glued to his baby sister.
"Hey." The detective whispered, Matt nodding. He held up his hand, silently signaling him to wait a moment as he began to slowly move out from under Gabby, holding her head with his hand until he could place it on the pillow, readjusting her blanket before walking towards Antonio, his limbs needing a moment to wake back up.
The two men wordlessly walked into the hallway, closing the door shut behind them, Matt looking at Gabby one last time before turning to Antonio.
"Is she okay?" Antonio asked, his hand coming up to run over his mouth, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Matt and his sister's sleeping form.
"She is." Matt spoke, Antonio releasing a sigh of relief. "She and the baby are fine."
"Thank God." Antonio spoke under his breath, his eyes moving back to Gabby, staying focused on her this time. "What happened?"
"She, uh- it was a combination of stress, exhaustion, and she hadn't been eating… and she just collapsed and- God, Antonio this is all my fault." He replied, distress filling his voice.
Antonio blew out a heavy sigh, forcing his gaze away from his sister towards the distraught man in front of him. While he didn't know the details about what all had been going on between the two of them since that night he had to go drag Matt from the bar, he knew things hadn't gotten any better. And, if he had to guess, he'd say they might've gotten worse. "Matt…"
"I treated her terribly. I made everything so much more difficult than it already was, and for what? All I did was make her life harder. God, why did I do this? Why did I let myself take this out on her?" Antonio saw the tears forming in the firefighter's eyes, able to see the guilt he was holding onto. "I pushed her away because I was mad, because I'm so scared to lose her, but I could've lost her anyway. I stressed her out to the point where she couldn't even eat. This is all my fault, Antonio. I did this to them!" He nearly cried, cupping his hand over his mouth as he blinked back the tears in his eyes. "What if something terrible happened? What if we lost the baby? What if Gabby-"
"Matt, stop." Antonio interjected firmly, causing Casey to look at him. "What happened, whatever the cause, it's done. You can't sit here and go over the what ifs, that doesn't help anything. All that matters is that they're okay."
"But it could've been so much worse…" He whispered.
"Yeah, it could've been. But it wasn't." Antonio replied, clasping his hand over Casey's shoulder. "I know how guilty you feel because of this, and hopefully, after all this, you won't let things get so bad between you two again. But you can't keep focusing on what might've and could've happened. That won't help you or Gabby. That won't help your baby. The health of my sister and that little kid are all that matters right now."
"I know. I just wish I would've realized that sooner."
"You can't go back and change what happened, all you can do is not let it happen again... It better not happen again." The older brother spoke roughly, Matt shaking his head.
"Trust me, Antonio. It won't. It shouldn't have taken this happening for me to see what I was doing to her, but I refuse to ever let this happen again."
"Good. Because I won't hesitate to kick your ass if it does."
"I know. And you'd have every right to." Matt breathed out, Antonio giving his shoulder a squeeze before dropping his hand.
"But seriously, Matt, I know you never meant for this. You love my sister, and despite how you feel about what could happen to Gabby, I know you love this baby. Just next time, talk to her. Instead of letting this turn into something that causes Gabby to be rushed to the hospital, you all have to work this stuff out. And I know you know that."
Nodding softly, Matt brought Antonio into a quick hug, patting the man's back. "Thanks Antonio."
"Of course." He replied as they pulled away. "I'm gonna go sit with her for a bit." Antonio spoke, nodding towards the door. The two split ways, Matt staying outside to gather himself as Antonio quietly went in the room.
"Hey."
Antonio's eyes snapped up as he heard the groggy voice coming from the bed, watching as Gabby slowly shifted herself into a sitting position, Antonio walking closer.
"Hey sis, I didn't mean to wake you. How are you feeling?" He questioned, leaning down and placing a quick kiss to her forehead.
"You didn't. And tired, but okay." She responded, a yawn escaping her mouth.
"I bet." He replied, sitting down on the edge of the chair. "I know you've probably been told this ten times already, but you gotta talk better care of yourself, Gabs."
"I know, I was stupid."
"Well, it wasn't all your fault." Antonio replied, seeing Gabby release a heavy sigh, her eyes moving towards the glass door. Antonio followed her gaze, seeing Matt pacing back and forth slowly, his hand up on the back of his neck as his head hung towards the ground.
"How is he?" Gabby asked quietly, Antonio looking back towards her.
"Feeling guilty. As he should."
"Antonio-"
"Don't worry, I didn't yell at him. I barely even lectured him, the way he's feeling right now, that's more than enough." He replied, raising his eyebrows at her. "So, speaking of… is all forgiven between you two? Because I'd understand if you're not exactly happy with him at the moment."
Sighing softly, Gabby shook her head. "I'm not gonna hold a grudge against him for this. Yeah, he was making things more difficult, but I'm still the one who didn't take care of myself. And we've spent enough time at odds with one another, I'm not gonna prolong this. Not when we should be enjoying this pregnancy and our child." She explained, Antonio nodding understandingly. "I know the reason he was acting the way he was, it came from a good place. It doesn't excuse it, but I'm not gonna punish him because he was struggling with what I was asking him to do."
Gabby finished her statement, taking a deep breath as she looked at Antonio, her eyebrows raising in confusion as he just stared at her. "...What?" She asked after a few moments.
"Nothing, it's just… I already knew this, but you're gonna be a great mom to this baby, Gabs." He spoke sincerely, a gentle smile finding its way to her face. "This is one lucky kid."
"Thanks Tonio." She whispered, tears clouding her vision.
"Alright, alright don't go crying on me now." He joked, Gabby chuckling as she wiped under her eyes.
"Yeah, well sorry. This kid has made my emotions go all over the place." She replied lightly.
"Oh yes, I remember the mood swings from Laura's pregnancies well." He told her, Gabby rolling her eyes but refraining from commenting, not wanting to push the topic any further, knowing it was a bit of a sore spot for her brother.
"Thank you for coming, Antonio."
"Of course." He replied, reaching out and grabbing her hand. "I get a call saying you've been rushed to the hospital, I'm not gonna be anywhere else." She nodded with a soft smile, squeezing his hand. "I'm just so glad you're okay."
"Me too."
Matt methodically stroked the side of Gabby's head as they laid in her bed, the top of his hand moving back and forth over her hair, their attention fixated on the screen in front of them. It was getting a little late in the evening, nearing eight, Matt surprised that Gabby was still awake after the day she'd had. There were a few times he thought she'd fallen asleep, her breathing evening out, but a few seconds later she'd shift and he knew she was still up. She was tucked up into him, facing away from him to get a better angle on the TV, her side pressed up against his chest. They'd been sitting in a comfortable silence, both needing the moment to decompress after the events of today, as well as how things had been for them as of late.
"Matt." Her soft voice spoke, his movement against her head stopping as she moved to mute the TV.
"Yeah?" He asked, watching as she shifted her body to face him, her hand resting on top of his own that was on his chest.
"Are you really okay?" She asked softly, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He responded back, seeing her eyebrows raise, clearly wanting an actual answer. "I'm okay Gabby, I promise."
"But you're okay with everything? I mean, until today you were still feeling the same way about this baby, and I don't want this to be just because of what happened. I need to know you're actually okay with this."
Taking a deep breath, he responded. "I'm not just saying I'm okay because of what happened, I promise you. But this, today- it put everything into perspective, made me realize how awful I've been acting. How I've been hurting you." He spoke softly, Gabby rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm still scared of something happening to you. That'll never go away. But I meant what I said, I'm in this. Whatever happens, I'm here for you and our baby. When Jemma called me over the radio, there was a split second where I thought I'd lost you and I just-" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "I would've never forgiven myself if something worse had happened. God forbid, if something happens to you… I don't want to be wasting time with us like we have been. I'll never be okay with the possibility of losing you, and I know this pregnancy will be hard on us, but I'm just gonna hold onto the hope that the both of you will be fine. I have to… but I promise, I'm done being angry. I'm done putting space between us. You never deserved that in the first place."
"Okay." She whispered. "But just know that whenever you have those days that are harder than others, where you're really struggling with this, you can talk to me. I want you to come to me. Because I have those days, too. Where everything is just too much." Gabby spoke, Matt nodding in response. "We're gonna need each other to get through this."
"I know." He murmured, leaning down and placing a soft, sweet kiss against the side of her face. "I'm sorry that up until now I've made you feel like you're in this alone, but I promise you you're not."
Gabby nodded, capturing his lips with hers, the two moving at a steady pace, her hand moving up from his chest to his neck, holding him to her.
They pulled away after a few tender moments, Gabby noticing the thoughtful look on Matt's face, the two of them catching their breath.
"You know, I realized something today." He spoke quietly, Gabby raising her eyebrows in question, silently urging him to continue. "Remember when I told you that you were my miracle?" Gabby's body involuntarily tensed at the memory; she would never be able to forget that day. But she nodded nonetheless. "Well, maybe this child… our child, will be ours."
A soft grin appeared on her face at his words, tears clouding in her eyes as he smiled, Gabby collapsing her body into his, nuzzling her face into his neck as he wrapped his arms around her.
They were going to be okay. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that, whatever happened, Matt would be there by her side.
So, hopefully this was worth the few chapters of heartbreak? It's looking like Gabby and baby Casey are okay, and things with Dawsey are getting better. Even though they're not 100%, Matt has finally snapped out of that place of anger. Which, as a writer, I'm kind of glad for because it was hard to keep writing them at odds. Matt just needed to get his priorities in order, and it's looking like he has. Things are looking up for them, I promise.
I can't wait to hear what you all thought of this one. Thanks for sticking with me through the hard chapters. Thanks for reading!