Hello hello! I'm back with another chapter for you all.
Remember how I said there were some challenges coming up for one character in particular… well, here we go.
I hope you enjoy.
Chapter Thirty Eight
Gabby walked up the short driveway towards the house, her shift bag thrown over her shoulder as the chilly winter air hit her. It felt like forever since she'd been here, and she couldn't wait to get back into the swing of things, to be able to work with Jemma again and start to get a sense of normalcy back after being cooped up the last two weeks.
Stepping into the garage, she walked between the rigs, heading for the door. She had barely gotten inside when she was tackled by a body coming from her right, Gabby wrapping her arms tightly around the woman who had attached herself to her. Dawson released a chuckle as Jemma held onto her tightly, Norris' arms wrapped around her neck.
"Dawson's back!" She spoke excitedly, having to refrain from rocking back and forth, not wanting to make her pregnant friend woozy.
"I'm back." Gabby spoke into her ear, giving Jemma one last squeeze before they pulled back, Norris staying on her hip as they turned to face the common room.
"Glad to see you again, Dawson. We missed you around here." Turner spoke, coming up to give her a hug, Jemma reluctantly letting go so Gabby could be greeted by her other friends.
"Bobby Miller, what are you doing here?" Gabby asked, seeing the older man positioned at the stove, cooking up some breakfast.
"Got the call yesterday, said they needed me back on this shift so here I am."
"Ah, I guess you're gonna be the one helping Jemma and I out." Gabby mused, Jemma wrapping her arm over her shoulders.
"Yeah, I heard about the baby. Congratulations, Dawson." He spoke, flashing her a soft smile before returning his attention to the eggs he was frying up.
"Thanks Miller. Gotta say, I'm glad it's you working with us. It's always good to have another familiar face."
"Oh, well I'm excited, too. You and Norris sure keep things interesting." He spoke, earning a few chuckles from around the room.
"Someone's got to." Norris replied, turning Gabby as they began walking down the hall towards the locker room. "So, how are you feeling? How's baby Casey? How's big Casey?" She asked with a smile, Gabby smirking as they made their way to her locker.
"I'm doing good. Got a few aches and pains, but I imagine those will only get worse as this baby keeps on growing. And the baby is good, the boy is good, everything's good." Gabby responded, getting her belongings placed in her locker.
"Speaking of the boy," Jemma started, glancing around the room before looking back towards Dawson. "Do you, uh, think you two will ever get married again?" She asked, Gabby's eyes widening slightly in shock, not having anticipated the question.
"Um, we've talked about it. We both want to. We both see each other as husband and wife, so I'm sure someday, yeah we will." Gabby responded, watching Jemma nod softly. "Why do you ask?"
"I don't know, I've just been thinking about it since you told me everything… I know I wasn't there to see you all when you were married, or for most of your relationship really, but I think it would be awesome to see you guys get married again. I mean, I don't know what you all are planning on doing, but I can't imagine how perfect your all's wedding would be."
Gabby released a chuckle, shaking her head as she shut her locker. "Well, when we first got married, it was at the courthouse, in all our gear. With Louie, and everyone from 51. I don't know… part of me has always pictured having a big wedding, with the dress and the cake and everything, but on the other hand, it doesn't really feel like me and Matt." She continued, scrunching her nose while she spoke. "I'm not sure if a big wedding is really for us. Honestly, who knows what we'll end up doing. It's not really something we're talking about right now." Gabby responded, a grin forming across her face. "But, whatever we do, you'll be there."
"Really?" Jemma asked, her face widening into a smile.
"Of course. You'd have to be there. It wouldn't feel right if you weren't." Dawson replied, warmth spreading through her as she saw how happy her simple comment had made Jemma.
"It really is so good to have you back, Gabby." She spoke, wrapping her arms around Dawson again, this hug shorter than the last. "I've missed you so much. It's felt so weird without you here."
"I missed you too."
The partners exited the locker room, walking side by side through the house as they headed for the kitchen, intent on enjoying the breakfast Miller had prepared for them.
"Dawson!" Gabby's steps were halted as she turned the corner to the common room, Jemma stopping as well as they looked down the hallway, finding Chief Walters standing in the doorway of his office, waving her over.
"Go ahead, I'll be back." Gabby told Norris, the young paramedic nodding before continuing into the room, Gabby changing her direction to head for the Chief's office. Once he saw her coming, he stepped inside, Gabby finding him sitting at his desk by the time she got there. "You need something, Chief?"
He nodded her in, waving his hand. "Shut the door."
Gabby hesitantly stepped inside, confusion filling her body as she closed the door, the tone in his voice making her nervous. She had no idea what this was about, but she sensed it wasn't anything she was going to like.
She sat down opposite of him, crossing her hands over her lap as she watched him gather some papers in his hands, her confusion growing by the second.
Clearing her throat, she got his attention, Chief Walters glancing up from the documents in front of him. "Is something wrong, Chief?" She asked, trying to hide any hint of nerves flooding her system.
"Well, I'm not sure." He responded, her eyebrows furrowing as her palm hovered over her stomach, Gabby finding the movement comforting in this moment of uncertainty.
"What's going on?"
"Headquarters got the paperwork from your doctor's office, about in what capacity you'll be allowed to work, and we've got a little bit of a problem." He started, Gabby's neck clenching as she waited for him to continue. "You're essentially only cleared to do the basics; hook up patients to monitors, IV's, cleaning wounds, etc. So, for the safety of our patients and you all, we need another medic on shift with you and Norris." Gabby nodded, unsure of why this was a problem. It hadn't been a secret that she was going to need extra help earlier along in this pregnancy. "Well, after getting the parameters from your doctor, headquarters has come to a decision. They won't approve paying three full time paramedics for one ambo, when one of them isn't able to perform their full duties." He spoke regretfully, Gabby's eyes narrowing in confusion.
"But you all knew I would need to be on light duty, I've been on lighter duty already for weeks."
"Yes, but you were still able to perform other tasks necessary of a paramedic. Now, there's no way for you to safely work on an ambo with just one other paramedic. It's a necessity to have three of you."
"I don't understand, I thought that had been clear early on." She responded, trying to comprehend what was being told to her.
"Apparently it wasn't. Not to headquarters, at least. They didn't know the… length of needing three medics on one ambo."
"Okay, so what does this mean?" She asked, frustration evident in her voice.
"Headquarters has made the decision to cut back your hours, to make you a part-time paramedic."
Dawson's eyes widened, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her as his words sunk in. "What?" She questioned in disbelief.
"They're cutting you back to working one shift a week."
Gabby's mouth parted open in shock, unable to form a sentence as she sat there. "I-... I don't-"
"I wish I had better news for you, Dawson. I do. But there's no policy in place for this type of situation, and-"
"Situation? Are you kidding me? I'm pregnant, and apparently that's a 'situation' you all don't know how to deal with?" She responded bitterly, unable to stop herself. "You're telling me that in all the time the SAS has been around, you all haven't had another pregnant woman who needs to be on light duty?"
"Dawson, I'm not saying it's fair. But it's the solution they've come up with."
Gabby let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head. "This isn't a solution. You all aren't fixing anything, this is you all firing me."
"No we're not." He clarified quickly.
"You basically are. You might as well be. I can't live off of only working once a week, how is this even legal?"
"I hate this, Dawson. I do. But this is a private company, and they've made you a part-time employee. Headquarters has already been having to make cuts across the board, and this is the only way they could keep you on. There's nothing that I or anything else can do about it." He responded softly, clasping his hands together in front of him. "If I had any warning to this at all, I would've told you. I didn't get the call until just a few minutes ago. But it's the only way they've been able to figure out how to keep you here while hiring another full-time paramedic, who would essentially be covering for you."
"So this is their great plan?" Gabby questioned sarcastically. "The wonderful solution they've come up with? Basically forcing me out of this job, only allowing me to work once a week up until I go on maternity leave, which is unpaid already." She spoke sharply, the Chief sighing heavily. "All this is, is headquarters covering their ass. They don't want to pay me, even though I'm still here to work. I'm here to do my job, but since they have to pay another paramedic, they're punishing me because I'm pregnant. They've found some loophole to where they can force me out without firing me."
"Dawson." He spoke firmly, stopping her ranting. "You have no idea how terrible I feel about this. I know it doesn't fix anything, or make this any easier for you. I wish there was something I could do for you. But my hands are tied."
Nodding slowly, Gabby ran her hands up and down her thighs, glancing down towards the ground, trying to get control of the anger flowing through her. "So that's starting this shift? From now on, I'll only be working once a week?"
"Yes, that's correct."
Biting the inside of her cheek, she nodded again, shifting to sit on the edge of her seat. "Am I excused?"
When she got the nod of approval, Gabby pushed herself up, heading for the door without another word, slipping out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her. Her eyes fell closed as she stood there, trying to take the moment to gather herself, but it wasn't working.
Gabby took off down the hallway, shoving her hands in her pockets as she walked straight past the common room, not even glancing in their direction as she hurried past her coworkers, needing time to wrap her head around what this meant. She needed a second to breathe, and she couldn't do that in there.
Gabby found herself in the locker room, straddling the bench as she placed a hand on her stomach, trying to settle some of the uneasiness she was feeling. She was hunched over, her head resting against her palm as forced herself to take slow, steady breaths. She was upset, beyond it actually, but she knew she needed to keep herself as calm as she could. The last thing that would help her baby right now was her getting worked up, even though all she wanted to do was scream.
"Gabby?" She heard Jemma's voice call softly, Dawson looking up just as Norris rounded the corner, a worried look covering her face. "What's going on?"
Taking a slow breath, Gabby wiped away some of the unshed tears sitting in her eyes, shaking her head as her anger turned into devastation. "I don't know if I can keep working here…"
"What? What are you talking about?" Jemma asked immediately, sitting down on the bench, facing her distraught friend. "What happened with Chief?"
Looking up towards Jemma, she began explaining everything Walters had just told to her, having to force herself to keep her voice steady, watching as the anger and confusion Jemma was feeling played out across her face.
"He said that he feels bad, but there's nothing he can do." She finished her story, Jemma shaking her head furiously.
"This isn't fair, they can't be allowed to do this." Anger was dripping from her voice, her arms crossed over her chest tightly.
"Apparently, they can."
Jemma pursed her lips together, sadness overtaking her as she looked at Gabby, Norris able to see how visibly upset she was. "What are you gonna do?" She asked softly.
"Honestly? I don't know." Gabby whispered, holding back the tears desperate to fall. "I can't only be working one shift a week, not with the baby."
Jemma nodded understandingly, trying to keep her emotions at bay as she reached out and grabbed Gabby's hand. "I don't want you to go… but I understand if you have to. They didn't really leave you many options... I just- I can't believe they're able to get away with this."
"I don't want to go either." Dawson spoke quietly, her eyes falling closed. "But I don't think I have a choice."
Matt moved around the kitchen swiftly, checking the timer on the stove before walking towards the cabinets, pulling out two sets of dinnerware, Casey beginning to set the table as he waited for their food to finish. After getting the plates and silverware set out, he went to grab two wine glasses, both of which would be filled with water. Just like he'd done during their brief first pregnancy, Matt decided to refrain from drinking alcohol, especially around Gabby. If she couldn't have it, he didn't want it either. Despite her lack of faith in him last time, he was more than ready to shelve the drinking for the rest of this pregnancy. It was a simple thing, he knew it was, and it was something that she would never ask him to do. But he wanted to continue to show her that he was in this, completely. He was in solidarity with her, and any opportunity he got to remind her of that, no matter how small, he was going to take it.
The buzzing of the timer pulled his attention from the table, Matt moving towards the stove to pull out their dinner, the smell of lasagna overwhelming his senses as he removed it from the oven. It wasn't anything special, but it was something he knew how to make, and make well. And Gabby loved it.
He wasn't hopeless in the kitchen, there were many things he could get by making, although Gabby was usually the one to take charge when they ate at home. But tonight, he wanted to do something special for her. It was her first day back at work, and he wanted her to come home to a nice meal and a clean home. And both of those had been accomplished, Matt glancing around the nearly spotless apartment as he placed their dinner on the table.
While cooking, he'd taken special care to leave out certain ingredients, especially some of the spices, knowing how sensitive Gabby's stomach was right now. He hoped once she got through the first trimester, that would start to settle down, but right now she wasn't able to handle much. So he'd made sure to adjust the recipe, leaving out a lot of things that Gabby would usually encourage him to add more of. When he tasted the sauce, it had been quite bland, and under any other circumstances Matt knew he'd be chastised for it. But right now he was sure she would appreciate it. And he couldn't wait for her to get home so they could enjoy this meal and their night together.
The sound of the front door opening brought a smile to his face, Matt wiping his hands on his jeans as he listened to her lock the door, hearing her walk further into the apartment, a soft thud sounding throughout the otherwise silent room as she dropped her shift bag on the ground. "Matt?" He heard her call softly.
"In here, babe." He replied, standing at the fully set kitchen table with a smile on his face. But that smile soon fell as she turned the corner, Matt seeing the distress in her features; her red and tired eyes, her demeanor showing signs of defeat as she came towards the kitchen table. She was clearly upset, and it worried him.
"What's wrong?" He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice as he stepped towards her, reaching for her hand and holding it softly in his. "Are you alright? What happened?"
"I think I have to find another job."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, a million different emotions flooding his system as he let her words sink in, Matt trying to understand what she could possibly mean. But he was coming up blank. That had been the last thing he expected her to say, and he didn't know what to make of it.
"What?" He responded quickly, his surprise evident in his tone. "Wait- what do you mean?"
"Headquarters solution to me needing light duty is them pushing me out."
Matt was only more confused by her words, knowing he had to have been missing key parts of the story. "I… Okay, let's just sit down, we'll eat and you can walk me through this, alright?" He offered, Gabby looking towards the table, clearly having just noticed the dinner he'd prepared. Nodding, she squeezed his hand, unable to stop the tears forming in her eyes. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. It'll be okay." He assured her, placing a soft kiss on her head before leading her to the table, pulling out her chair for her to sit down.
"Did you do all this for me?" She asked quietly as he sat down, Matt nodding.
"Yeah, I thought it would be nice, to celebrate you going back to work. But now, this doesn't really matter, what happened today?" He asked as he put a serving on her plate. "Why are they trying to push you out?"
Picking up her glass, she took a sip of water, trying to calm herself down before she spoke. "When I got to shift today, Chief called me into his office. He told me that headquarters got the guidelines, I guess, from Dr. Tanner about what I can and can't do, and clearly, there has to be another paramedic on shift with me and Jemma." She explained, Matt nodding as he reached for her hand that was resting on the table, grasping it within his. "I didn't think it would be an issue, I thought it was known that was the situation, but I guess not. Basically, headquarters doesn't want to pay for three medics on one ambulance, when one of us isn't able to perform all of their duties. So they're cutting my hours. Their reasoning, how they're covering their asses I guess, is that Miller, the guy I shadowed when I first started, is basically having to cover for me."
"But your reasons are medical, they can't just fire you for being pregnant." He responded, feeling anger flood his system as he listened to her. But he tried to not let it show, not wanting to upset her anymore than she already was.
"They're not, technically. They've made me a part-time employee, essentially forcing me to go on leave. They're only letting me work one shift a week, because they don't want to pay for three full time paramedics when they could only be paying for two."
"That's such bullshit." He bit out, his face hardened in anger. "How is that even allowed? They're cutting your hours because you're pregnant, there's no way this is even legal. And you're the best medic they've got. You on light duty is still worth more than anyone they could get to cover you." He vented, shaking his head in frustration. "You don't deserve this, Gabby."
"I could fight it." She responded softly. "And I could probably win, because I have a feeling they didn't really disclose the true reason for making me part-time, and if they did I'd bet it's not the whole story. Walker blamed it on budget cuts, but they're only doing this to me because I'm pregnant. Whatever loophole they've found, I doubt it would hold up if I made a huge deal out of this, but…"
"But what?" He questioned, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I don't know if I would even want to keep working for a company that treats people like this." She murmured, a small frown forming on his face. "What I've always heard about private companies is that they're a business first, that they care about money more than they do their employees. That's why I never even considered it when they first approached me last year, but then after everything happened and I decided to give it a shot… I thought maybe I'd just judged them too harshly. Because I started working there and everything was great. Everything still is great, at least at the house. I love Jemma, and my coworkers. Chief Walters was upset this was happening, he told me he had no say in it... but it still happened. I guess things are only great if you don't need a little extra help. The second you need any leeway, they treat you like this."
"I'm so sorry, Gabby." He whispered, Gabby releasing a slow breath before taking a bite of her food, Matt patiently waiting for her to finish.
"I'm not saying I think I deserve special treatment," She spoke softly, "but Walters even told me they don't have policies in place for this stuff. I can't imagine how many other women they might've done this to… When it comes down to it, they don't care about their employees. And I don't know if I want to keep working at a place like that. Or even if I decide that I want to stay there, I don't think I could."
"What do you mean?"
"We can't afford to have me barely getting paid, Matt." She responded, his face falling at her words.
"Don't make this decision based solely on money. We'd figure it out."
"Baby, that's not realistic. Of course I have to consider that." Gabby breathed out. "We're still paying on my car, we've got all those appointments at Dr. Tanner's, along with all our other bills. And that's not even including everything we're gonna need for the baby. Kids aren't cheap, I can't not be working."
"I can take on more construction jobs." He offered, Gabby sighing softly. "I've turned down a few since you've been back, and then since the pregnancy, but I can take on more. Give us a little more of that cushion back."
"I won't ask you to do that, Matt."
"You're not asking, I'm offering. I don't want you to be unhappy." He responded almost immediately. "Despite what's happened, I know how much you love working there. I know you love being with Jemma, and if you decide you'd like to stay there, we'll make it work."
"I won't let you do that." She responded, shaking her head. "I'm not gonna have you kill yourself just so we can make ends meet. That's not fair to you."
Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward on the table, squeezing her hand. "So what do you wanna do?"
"I think I'm gonna have to look for another job… I don't have much of a choice. The last thing I want to do is quit working there, and leave Jemma. But I can't be barely getting paid, and I won't let you take on our financial responsibility all on your own."
"Do you know where you'd wanna work?" He asked softly, Gabby shaking her head.
"No, I never thought I'd be in this position. The possibility of needing to find another job never crossed my mind." She responded, glancing up at him as she took another bite of her food. She watched him nod, seeing a look she couldn't read flash over his face, Matt turning his attention to his plate. "What is it?"
"Well, uh- I know you might not want to do this, but it could at least be an option…"
"What?"
"I could talk to Boden."
Gabby's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she placed her fork down on her plate. "What would he be able to do?"
"We could see if let you work on 61, with Foster and Brett." Realization spread over her face as she understood what he meant. He wanted her to come back to 51. "I mean, you're on light duty anyway, there's already two paramedics there. You were apart of the CFD for a long time, I'm sure they'd be willing to figure something out. And you know if there's anything at all Boden can do to help, he will." He breathed out quickly, Gabby sensing his nervousness at this topic. Matt knew 51 was still a hard subject for her, and he didn't want to make things worse. But he wanted to see if it was an option.
"Oh…" She responded softly, Matt feeling her grip on his hand loosen.
"If it's not something you think you could do, then that's okay. We don't have to look into it. But, if you think you can, we could at least see if it's an option for you." He continued, seeing her deep in thought.
"Would the CFD even allow a third paramedic on shift?"
"I don't know, but it couldn't hurt to ask." Matt replied, watching as she nodded slightly, her eyes moving down to the table. She pulled her hand back, placing them in her lap as she avoided his gaze. "Gabby…" He spoke, reaching out to gently grab her chin, getting her to look at him. "Where's your head at?"
"I… I don't know. I don't know what to do here." She whispered, Matt sighing deeply as he saw the tears in her eyes. Dropping his light grip on her face, he pushed himself up from his seat, moving to crouch down beside her, Gabby turning towards him as he placed his hands on her knees.
"Is going back to 51 something you think you might be able to do?" He questioned softly, watching her shrug her shoulders, Gabby tracing her fingers over the top of his hand as a distraction.
"I don't know. I'd like to think I could, but I'm not sure."
"Because of them, right?" He asked, waiting a few seconds to see if she was going to say anything before continuing. "Is it because of the pace, or because of how they've been acting?"
Feeling him squeeze her leg, she looked to him, running her tongue over her bottom lip. "It's… everything, I guess. So much has happened, and 51 really doesn't feel like home to me anymore. I wish it did, but being there the other night, I just felt out of place. I was hoping if I started coming around more, it would help. But it didn't. Everyone there is your family, and I'm so glad you still have that, but they're not so much mine anymore."
"That's not true, Gabby. They love you."
Shaking her head, she bit down on her lip, trying to keep her tears at bay. "It's not the same as it used to be, though. They're happy to see me, sure. They don't mind me coming around, but the relationship I have with most of them now is nowhere near how things used to be, and I don't know if that'll ever change. They never reach out to me, I have to be the one to initiate everything. It feels like there's no difference to me being there and not being there, and it hurts. Knowing how close I used to be with everyone there, they're like strangers now."
Tears gathered in his own eyes as he listened to her speak, hating that she felt like this. Hating that he hadn't done more to help. "That's why you were so upset when you were there… why you were crying." He mused as he thought back to that night, guilt spreading through him at the realization of just how much this had been affecting her. He knew she'd been having a hard time with things at 51, but he had no idea she was feeling like this, that she felt so out of place there. And it broke his heart.
"I mean, I was sick, but yeah. I was listening to stories and hearing them talk about all these things I had no idea about, and it hit me how different things are now. How I don't really belong there anymore, I don't even know if they'd want me there."
"I know they would love to have you back." He replied immediately, seeing the doubt in her eyes. "You've gotta believe me. I know they're acting weird, but you see how they are when you're there. They love having you back." Matt tried, but he could tell she was not convinced. "Let me talk to them again."
"Matt, it's been months." She replied quietly. "I've been back for almost four months, and aside from Kelly and Herrmann, nothing with them has changed. It's not going to. You've already talked to them, multiple times, and nothing has changed."
"Yeah, but I don't think they realize how much they're hurting you. I didn't even realize how much they were hurting you..." He murmured, Gabby ducking her head as he rubbed his thumb on the inside of her thigh. "Regardless of what you decide to do, I'm talking to them. Because whatever their issue is, it's gotta stop. I should've done something about it sooner. I know things have still been weird for you, but I didn't realize it was making you feel like this. I'm so sorry for that, but they need to know how much they're hurting you. Even though things are different with you guys, I know they'd never want that."
"I know they don't. And I know I caused all this…"
"Gabby, this isn't your fault." He interjected, but she shook her head.
"I left them, and didn't tell them why. I understand why they're nervous around me. I was just hoping that would change and it hasn't."
"You don't owe them an explanation. I told them you left because we got some awful news, and everything here became too much for you. That should've been enough for them to understand you weren't trying to hurt anyone, but it wasn't. And that's on them."
Blowing out a breath, she moved her hand towards his head, stroking her fingers against his cheek before resting her hand on his neck. "I don't want to cause any problems, Matt. With Brett, or Foster, or anyone. I don't want to go work there just to make things worse."
"I don't think it would." He responded. "I know you don't feel like that, and I understand why. And this decision is entirely up to you, but I think you working there again could help this feeling you have, it could help things between you guys. They love it when you stop by, they'd love having you back. And I know I need to talk to them, knock some sense into them and make them realize what they're doing, but everyone would love for you to come back to 51. I truly believe that." He spoke firmly, Matt squeezing her thigh. "But if you don't feel like you can work there, then we'll figure something else out. I'm not trying to force you into anything here, I'm fine with whatever you decide. If you want to stay at the SAS, we'd find a way to make it work. I know we have to be realistic, but we have savings. And the CFD has been on me to guest lecture for a few courses in the spring. That would bring some extra money in, too. We'd figure it out. Whatever you decide, we'll be okay. But if you want me to, I can talk to Boden." Matt told her gently, their eyes locked on one another. "This is entirely up to you. Whatever you think is best for you, that's what we'll do."
A soft silence fell around them as Gabby thought for a moment, her fingers rubbing across his neck as she tried to decide what to do. This was never something she thought she'd be having to figure out, but now that it was here, she knew what she had to do. She just wasn't sure if she could.
"I guess… I guess let's see what Boden says."
Matt's eyebrows raised in surprise, clearly not expecting that response despite the speech he'd given her.
"Are you sure?" He asked immediately, adjusting his balance as he rested on the balls of his feet.
"I don't know, but I feel like that's my only option. I can't not be working, I won't let you wear yourself out taking on job after job just to try and supplement my income. And with the baby, we need money coming in. From both of us."
Matt shook his head, swallowing thickly before responded. "I don't want you going back to 51 if it's not the right thing for you. I don't want you to feel pressured into doing that. If it's just going to cause you more stress, that won't help anything. I want you to do what's best for you."
"Me going back to 51 is what's best for us." She replied, her free hand moving to cradle her stomach. "51 is better than me trying to go find another job, or staying at my job and barely getting paid. And it might not even be a possibility, there might not be anything for me there. But I want you to talk to Boden."
Matt searched her eyes for any sign of hesitation, for any look that might tell him she really didn't want this. He knew she was nervous, rightfully so, and he didn't want her doing this just for him. He had to know this is what she wanted.
"Are you positive? Because I promise you, Gabby, if you really don't think you can go back, we'll find another solution. I wasn't trying to push you into this, and I feel like that's what I did... I was just trying to see if it was something you'd be open to, but please don't do this if it's not something you want." He pleaded.
She flashed him a small smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she shook her head. "You're not pressuring me, I promise." She whispered. "Talk to Boden, see what he says. I'm not saying I'm sure I can go back there, but we at least should know if it's an option. Once we have an answer from him, we'll go from there."
"Okay. I'll talk to him on shift tomorrow, let him know what happened and see if there's anything he can do."
Gabby nodded, quickly wiping away the tears welling under her eyes, Matt flashing her a sympathetic smile as he pushed himself up, capturing her lips with his.
"I love you, whatever we have to do, we'll figure it out together, alright?" He reassured her, kissing her again quickly. "This isn't fair to you, at all. But I'm right here with you every step of the way. Once we know what our options are, whatever's best for you, that's what we'll do."
"Thank you." She whispered as Matt cradled the side of her face, running his thumb over her cheek. He nodded in response, placing another kiss to the top of her head before pulling back, reaching for her plate.
"Let me heat this up so you can eat." He murmured, Gabby's eyes following him as he moved into the kitchen, placing her plate in the microwave.
After heating up their food, they'd managed to enjoy their dinner together, Matt doing his best to keep her mind off everything with work. He knew it was hard to not think about, but he didn't want this consuming her, at least not for tonight. So Matt had made it his mission to steer clear of work related topics, feeling internally grateful when he saw her spirits begin to lift as the night went on.
After dinner, Gabby had made the decision to take a bath, it only taking seconds for her to convince Matt to join her. Now he sat on the edge of the tub, waiting for the water to fill up as he put in some bubble bath, the kind he knew she loved, while Gabby was in the bedroom.
Matt began shedding his clothes, pulling his t-shirt from his body and tossing it to the floor, moving his hands down to unbutton his jeans. He stood up long enough to slide them down his legs, kicking the material off to the side, resting his body back down on the tub as he glanced up in time to see Gabby come through the door, clad in only her underwear as she walked towards him. A soft smile fell onto his face as his eyes raked up and down her nearly bare form, his gaze stopping on her stomach.
"God, you're beautiful." He murmured, Gabby feeling heat rise to her cheeks as he kept her under his watchful gaze. She walked the short distance towards him, Matt wrapping his arm around her waist, his palm snaking around her front to rest on her abdomen.
Despite his worries for this pregnancy, he'd never get tired of feeling her changing body beneath his fingertips. Her stomach hadn't gotten much bigger over the few days since her appointment, but it had grown slightly, enough for him to notice a difference whenever he got the opportunity to hold her. Although it was nothing substantial, it was reassurance that their baby was still growing. It was an indescribable feeling, Matt flooded with warmth each time he caught a glimpse of her exposed stomach. Every time he noticed the changes in her body, and saw their baby on the ultrasound, it eased some of the fear that had settled in his gut. He knew it would never go away, that until both Gabby and their baby had gotten safely through this pregnancy, the fear in the pit of his stomach would never fully disappear. But standing here, with his arms wrapped around her, feeling the small, firm bump underneath his palm, it helped.
He was pulled from his headspace when he felt tapping against his temple, Matt focusing his gaze as he looked up, finding Gabby's warm eyes waiting for him.
"Unless you want to go swimming, you might want to turn the water off." She teased him softly, Matt turning away from her to look at the bathtub, quickly dropping his hold on her to turn off the faucets. But as he leaned back up, he wrapped his arm around her again, moving his thumb up and down over her lower stomach.
Ducking his head down, he placed a light kiss against her stomach, resting his lips there as he heard Gabby release a content sigh, running her fingers through his hair. "I love you, you know that?" He whispered, glancing up to meet her eyes.
"I had some idea." She responded lightly, scratching her fingers over his scalp as he let himself relax into her touch for a few seconds.
Wanting to enjoy the maximum amount of time in their warm bath that they could, Matt ran his hand from her stomach to her back, moving up towards her bra, skillfully unclasping it and sliding the clothing down her arms, seeing her wince slightly at the movement.
"Still sore?" He asked sympathetically, tossing the material into the pile he'd formed, being met by a nod from Gabby.
"Incredibly." She responded, Matt frowning slightly. When Gabby had woken up for shift this morning, she'd complained about how sore her chest was, Matt knowing she'd been feeling a few aches for a couple weeks now, but it seemed to have worsened overnight. Despite Matt thoroughly enjoying how her chest had filled out, he knew it was uncomfortable for her, and he wished there was something he could do to help. He could only hope he hadn't made things worse last night, knowing he'd spent more than his fair share of time appreciating that part of her.
"I'm sorry, hopefully the bath can help." He told her, the two beginning to shed the last layers of clothing on their bodies.
"As long as you can keep your hands off, it should." She spoke with a chuckle, Matt holding onto her arms as he helped her into the tub, Gabby gripping his forearms as she sat down.
"I didn't hear any complaints last night." He mumbled, waiting until Gabby slid forward to give him room to climb in behind her, Matt carefully placing his body against the back of the tub.
"You never would." She responded softly, easing herself in between his legs until she was resting against his chest, Matt carefully wrapping his arms around her stomach, the two relaxing into the warm water. She placed her hand on his knee, tracing random patterns on the inside of his thigh as they sat there, her head resting against his shoulder.
"You really think it would be okay?" Gabby questioned after a few silent moments.
"Hmm?" He hummed in question.
"Me, working at 51 again." She explained, Matt pursing his lips together. He hadn't been expecting her to bring it up again. They'd all but avoided the subject since dinner, and he didn't think they'd be discussing it anymore tonight. But clearly it had been on her mind. "You seem sure that everyone would be fine with it. You really think they'd be okay with having me back?"
Matt tapped his fingers against her stomach, releasing a deep breath. "They'd be more than okay. I think they'd be glad to have you back at 51." He told her honestly. "I'm not just saying that, because I know how hard it would be for you to feel comfortable working there again. This isn't a decision to take lightly, and I'd never suggest it if I didn't think they'd be excited." He spoke quietly in her ear. "I know you're worried, and I'm not trying to downplay what you're feeling…"
"You're not."
"But I do think it would be a good thing. I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't."
Nodding slowly, Gabby cuddled herself back into him, turning her head to place a kiss on his jaw, feeling Matt's hold on her tighten.
"Like you said, we'll see what Boden says and go from there. This is completely up to you." He reminded her, the two falling into a comfortable quiet as they enjoyed their bath together, intent on making the most out of the time they had.
Light tapping on the doorframe pulled Boden from his paperwork, the firefighter looking up to find Casey standing in his open doorway. "You got a minute, Chief?" His Captain asked, Boden nodding and waving him in, watching as Matt stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
It was only a few minutes into shift, and they had just finished up their morning meeting in the conference room. Boden wasn't sure why Casey hadn't just talked to him out there, but he figured whatever had the man in here this early in the morning, it was something he wanted to keep between them.
"What can I do for you, Casey?"
"Do you, uh, remember when Gabby first came back, and you said how if she wanted to come back here, you would find a way to make it work?" Matt questioned, Boden's tongue poking through his teeth to run over his bottom lip, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Mhmm."
"Well, is there any way for that to still be a possibility?" Casey asked, Boden stunned into silence for a split second. Out of all the possible topics of conversation he'd expected them to have, this was not one of them.
"Does she want to come back?" Boden questioned once he gained his bearings.
"Well, there's kind of a story there…" Casey spoke, his voice trailing off towards the end of his sentence. "The SAS, they've screwed Gabby over, to put it lightly." He started, shaking his head, trying to keep his anger at the situation under control. Boden's eyebrows raised in curiosity, patiently waiting for the agitated man to continue. "Essentially, they don't want to pay her, because she has to be on light duty. They see it as them having to pay for a replacement for her, so they decided their solution to this was making Gabby a part-time employee, only letting her work one shift a week." Matt explained, Boden unable to hide the shock showing across his face. "I told her we could make it work, that I'd take on more jobs, maybe give in to some of those lectures headquarters has been hounding me for, if she wanted to stay there, but she doesn't want me to do that. With the baby coming and everything, she wants to still work. So I brought up her coming back here… I'm not even sure if it's possible, but I thought maybe, since she'd have to be on light duty anyway, she could work on 61. With Brett and Foster."
The Chief nodded thoughtfully, straightening his back as he leaned forward, resting against his desk. "Is that something Dawson would be up for?"
"Honestly, I don't know. I think she wishes it was something she could be excited about, but she's scared." He replied, catching the flash of sadness in Boden's gaze. "Things here for her, they're not what they used to be. She's not sure if they can ever be the same, and I think she's afraid to jump back into that."
"Dawson always has a home here, Casey."
"I know she does, and that's what I told her. But she's nervous, and I can't say I blame her. Everyone here hasn't exactly made it easy on her." Matt spoke, Boden not having time to question what he meant before Matt continued. "But she decided she wanted to know if her coming back was even an option. We're trying to figure out what to do here, and she wanted all the possibilities."
"Truthfully, I'm not sure what the protocol is. I know that it's been done in the past, having three paramedics on an ambo in situations like these, but I'm not sure if they'll go for it since she's not currently in the department. But let me make some calls." Boden told him, reaching for his phone. "If there's anything I can do, I'll do it."
"Thank you, Chief." Matt responded, taking that as his cue to leave, giving the man some privacy to make his calls.
As he walked out of the office, Matt pulled out his phone, wanting to let Gabby know about his conversation with Boden, and what was going on. But before he could finish typing it out, the bells rang, signaling the house to an apartment fire.
Luckily, no one had been injured. By the time they got there, got everyone out safely, and got the fire under control, a few hours had passed, 81 and squad 3 heading back to the house once their job had been completed, knowing they'd be returning to their cold, unfinished breakfast.
It took Casey only seconds to change from his turnout gear once they got to the firehouse, Matt following the quiet bunch back inside the house.
"Casey." Boden's voice called, Matt stopping in the hallway as members of truck kept walking.
"Yeah, Chief?" He asked as Boden waved him over, Matt walking towards the man, gaining some distance from the rest of the house.
"I'm heading over to HQ, to talk to them about Dawson. I just wanted to let you know."
"Do you know anything yet?" Matt questioned, Boden shaking his head.
"No, not yet. But the second I do, I'll let you know."
Matt nodded as Boden patted him on the arm. "Thank you for doing this, Chief."
"Of course. Anything for Dawson."
With a quick handshake, Boden walked past Casey, heading out into the garage. Matt stayed rooted in his spot momentarily, sighing heavily before heading towards the kitchen, silently praying that Chief would come back with some good news.
Gabby walked through the apartment, clad in one of Matt's sweatshirts and a pair of leggings, as she made her way back into the living room. It had been a quiet day for her here, Gabby having woken up when Matt got ready for shift this morning, the expectant mom unable to fall back asleep.
She'd been trying to keep herself busy, but it was proving to be difficult. She felt like she was back to being stuck at home, and it was driving her insane. Even though she knew she was allowed to go out, there wasn't anything that really needed to be done. So she'd stayed put, trying to keep away that antsy feeling that came around when she'd gone too long without moving.
Placing her tea down on the coffee table, she grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, intent on cuddling up and watching a movie to pass the time, but her movements were halted when she heard her phone ringing from the bedroom. Tossing the blanket back down, she headed towards the sound, her eyebrows furrowing as she saw Matt's contact photo on her screen, Gabby pulling the device from the charger and answering it.
"Hey babe."
"Hey, how are you doing?"
"I'm alright. What's up? Everyone okay?" She asked as she sat down on the mattress.
"Yeah, we're all good over here. I was actually calling to tell you that Boden asked for you to come by the house, if you can. He wants to talk to you."
"Did he hear something about a job for me?" She asked him. Matt had kept her updated throughout the morning on what was going on, and it had been a few hours since she last heard anything, but clearly there had been some kind of resolution, one way or the other.
"I think so, but he wouldn't tell me much. Just asked to see if you can come by."
"Yeah, sure. I'll be over there soon."
"Okay. Drive safe. Love you."
"I love you, too." She replied before hanging up, releasing a sigh as she glanced down to her outfit. Knowing she needed to change, she headed for the dresser, looking through her options. Despite not looking it, she felt huge today, she had from the moment she woke up, and the last thing she wanted to do was put on tight clothes.
Settling on a pair of thicker leggings and an oversized sweater, Gabby quickly changed, getting ready in record time as she pulled her hair back into a messy bun. Once presentable, she moved towards the back door, making sure to pick up her phone and her purse as she went, grabbing her coat from the hook before exiting the apartment.
Traffic was surprisingly light as she made her way to the firehouse, Gabby pulling up to the curb outside the big building, quickly grabbing her belongings before making her way inside. Her nerves had only increased during the drive, Gabby wondering what exactly Boden wanted to talk to her about. She was sure he wouldn't have called her all the way here had he not had a job to offer her. But she couldn't help but think that was the root of her worries, that he had been able to get her back on second shift, and now it was up to her to decide whether or not she wanted to accept.
Sucking in a deep breath, Gabby opened the double doors, walking into the firehouse. It took a few seconds for them to notice her presence, her eyes bouncing around the room, unable to locate Matt.
"Hey Dawson! This is a surprise, two visits in one week." Herrmann called from the couch, Gabby flashing the group a small smile.
"You feeling better?" Brett asked from the table, Gabby glancing to her before nodding.
"I am, thanks." The blonde nodded, giving her a warm smile before Gabby looked around the room once more. "Is Matt around here somewhere?"
"He's in with the Chief, has been in and out of there most of the day." Herrmann responded curiously, clearly looking for some information. But Gabby gave him nothing, simply nodding and giving a quick thanks before heading towards Boden's office.
The walk was quick, Gabby noticing the closed office door as she moved down the hallway. In mere seconds she got to the door, seeing Boden and the back of Matt's head, Gabby lifting her hand to knock on the frame.
"Come on in." She heard, Gabby pushing open the door, being met by smiles from both men.
"Hi." She greeted, shutting the door behind her before walking towards the desk, Matt standing up to give her a quick kiss before they both sat down, Gabby glancing in between the two men anxiously.
"Hi Dawson. Casey filled me in on the situation with your current job, and first can I just say, I'm sorry that's happening to you. I know how much you love your job, and it's not my place to comment, but I hate that this has been allowed to happen. You deserve to be treated better than that, and I wish there was something I could do to help you keep your job there." He told her, Gabby nodding appreciatively. "But, as Casey's told you, I've been in contact with headquarters all day, trying to figure out if we have a place for you back at 51." He spoke, Gabby's eyes glancing towards Matt as she swallowed thickly.
"Yeah, he's been letting me know what's going on."
"Well, the reason I asked you to come down here was because I wanted to tell you this is person…" He started, a soft smile falling onto his face. "There's a job for you here back on ambo, if you want it."
So… how are we feeling about this. This chapter definitely had a lot going on, and it looks like Gabby has a decision to make. I'm interested to hear what you all think of everything.
I know I keep talking about it, but I wanted to let you know I uploaded chapter three of my other story, Whatever Comes Next, earlier today. I hope I'm not annoying anyone since I keep mentioning it, but I'm just so proud of that story, and I hope you all are enjoying it too. If you'd like to check it out, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Speaking of, I'm trying to figure out how I want to schedule my chapter uploads. It's just worked out that I've gotten them both finished in time to upload on the same day, but I'm not sure how sustainable that is. I've been updating both stories every Monday and Thursday, and I love it, but that's got me writing more than 20k words of fic about every three days, which is a lot. I love doing it, and enjoy writing both of these stories so much, but I'm not sure if it's something I'll be able to keep up. Between actually sitting down and writing it, and then revising it, it takes some time. I'll be doing my best to keep my uploads consistent, but it might take some time for me to figure out the best way to update my stories. I know you all appreciate my quick updates, and I want to continue that, and I'm gonna do my best to do so. But I'm not exactly sure how I'm gonna decide when to update each story, and I apologize in advance if my updates for either story are later than usual. It might take me some time to figure out the best way to get both stories updated regularly. I hope you all understand.
Also, a little fun side note, today is my birthday! So I figured I'd get both stories updated as little birthday treat from me to you all. I can't wait to hear what you thought of this chapter, and what you think Gabby's gonna do. To those of you who are still with me and this story, thank you so much for reading! It means the world to me.