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"Why the hell was he running around on his own in the dark?"
Rodney was aware enough to hear the anger in Sheppard's voice. Anger directed at him. Part of him wanted to protest and argue, to point out everything that Ford had put him through, but he was just too tired. He kept his eyes closed as the conversation continued. Would John believe what Ronon told him? Would he actually believe that Ford had changed so much? That Aidan was capable now of killing those he'd once joked with, fought beside and trusted?
Rodney could feel his heartbeatrace even as he remembered the look on Ford's angered face. He'd been helpless and he had known as Ford raised the P-90….Aidan had intended to kill him.
The light grip on his wrist tightened, bringing his attention back to the current discussion. Carson had to be aware that he was conscious, but the doctor said nothing about it to the others.
"Ford wouldn't." John was adamant, McKay could hear it in his voice.
"No, disrespect, Colonel." Carson's voice was so close to him, Rodney almost jumped in surprise. "But Aidan is far from thinking clearly right now. You know that. The enzyme is effecting his reasoning, making him unpredictable and…" He paused and Rodney could hear him swallow. "Dangerous."
"But why Rodney?" John wasn't buying it. Rodney felt his heart constrict a little. Why did John suddenly doubt him so much? He'd thought, before they had returned to earth, that they'd actually attained a sort of equilibrium between them…a friendship.
"Yer forgetting," Carson was talking again, the grip on McKay's wrist didn't let up. "I've seen Ford up close and personal this way, too. The lad pinned me to the wall like I was a wee fly just irritating him. He shot at me and threatened to kill my patient if I didn't give him what he wanted. He's forced you to shoot him, more than once. He's capable of anything."
"But he hasn't really hurt anyone yet," John countered.
Rodney found it interested that John seemed to forget that Lorne and his men had been stunned. Since when had that stopped hurting? Last he remembered it hurt like hell.
"Colonel, it appears that we are safe now to return to Atlantis," Teyla's soft voice interrupted but John obviously ignored her.
"Why the hell would Ford decide to hurt McKay now?" John pressed.
The words were out before Rodney had time to remember that no one but Carson actually knew he might be listening. "Because I shot him."
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Rodney's raspy statement stilled the entire jumper for a moment. John stared at his friend, anger seething. Who exactly was he mad at? He wondered as he glared in McKay's direction.
"You what?" his words were sharp and hit their mark like blades. Rodney visibly flinched.
"Maybe we ought to head home?" Major Lorne interjected. John switched his glare to Lorne but the soldier didn't back down. "I'd rather my men get to a safer location before the Wraith return to make sure they didn't miss anyone."
John knew Lorne was right. He turned back to the front of the jumper, scanning the controls. "Dial Atlantis," he ordered.
Blocking out all his questions and the emotions that went with them, John focused on the routine trip home. He ordered those on foot through the gate first,and once assured by Atlantis that they were clear, he eased the jumper home. It wasn't until he was piloting the ship with habitual skill into the jumperbay that he tried to figure out why he was so pissed off with McKay. Had Rodney really shot Ford? So, hadn't he shot the man,too? But…Rodney? What kind of desperation had Rodney been driven to in order to actually raise his weapon against Aidan? McKay's normal first reaction wasn't usually to shoot a friend. Damn it. What the hell had happened back on that stupid planet?
Once the jumper was secure, John heard Carson immediately issuing orders to his waiting medical staff. Who had told Atlantis they needed a med team waiting? Why hadn't he thought of that, first? John shook his head, ignoring Teyla in the seat next to him and turned to the back of the jumper, forced to wait until the med staff was gone before he could exit. Forced to sit and think some more about how much he had screwed up yet another mission.
John listened to Beckett order the tall dark doctor to escort Ronon to the infirmary so he could 'examine him properly' and make sure this fieldwork had been competent. Sheppard noted that Lorne sent two guards along. His attention drawn back to McKay and Beckett, John expected Rodney to protest the idea of more manhandling but the scientist was uncharacteristically quiet as Carson and one of his assistants carefully helped McKay stand and maneuver onto a stretcher.
Rodney paused before lying down, his gaze meeting John's, searching for something John couldn't identify. Insecurity and sadness flickered in Rodney's bloodshot eyes and John wanted to say something reassuring, to erase the coldness even he felt from himself, but McKay looked away, shoulders sagging wearily and allowed himself to be pushed down onto the stretcher. He didn't even protest when the straps were pulled up over him and tightened.
Regret filled John and he closed his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? He'd wanted to reassure McKay, but he couldn't. He needed to push Rodney away and keep pushing until maybe the doctor would get the message…but what was the freaking message? Even he didn't really know what he was trying to say.
"Colonel." Teyla spoke and he forced himself to look up at her.
She looked at him with a mix of disappointment and understanding. "I can think of no reason that Dr. McKay would shoot the lieutenant save one."
"Yeah, and what's that?" hedemanded impatiently.
Teyla's expression hardened and he knew that he had now managed to anger her, too. "Why did you shoot Ford?" sheasked almost accusingly.
His mind raced back to the planet and his conflicted thoughts as he'd pulled the trigger. "He was going to shoot me." He stated it defensively, expecting her to understand…but she had already turned and was walking away. "What? He was going to shoot me first." John buried his face in his hands wishing he could erase the whole damn day.
Images raced at him though bring him to the look of determination on Ford's face turning to betrayal even as he continued to reach for his weapon. He remembered the desperation he had felt, running through the woods as he tried to pinpoint the sound of the gun fire, not knowing who or what was the cause. He could still vividly see Ford and Ronon wrestling, knives drawn, Ford rolling away and reaching for a stunner even while Rodney hung helpless from a trap.
"Oh my god." John stood up suddenly. Bits and snippets of the conversation earlier came back to him, he'd been so focused on getting a report from Lorne, he hadn't paid attention then. Now though, Carson and Rodney's exchange finally hit home. Ford hadn't just threatened to shoot McKay. John knew as certainly as he had shot Ford himself—while McKay was hanging there helpless—Ford had shot him. Aidan had shot Rodney.