Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Notes: Written for LJ's "30kisses" comm for Theme 25: Fence.Game of Sides
It wasn't as if he hadn't tried-- he had, to be sure --but no matter his efforts, the outcome was consistently the same. The first sign of insanity was, after all, trying the same thing over again, expecting different results.
What Axel had seen in him, he had been sure was something like a toy to play with or a way to whittle away long hours. Zexion had willingly accepted. Days are long and redundant-- patterns are easy to fall into and conformity makes one sick after too long. Some excitement here or there does good for the soul, so he believed.
But from Axel's lips came the real answer; that answer that Zexion thought he already had, and suddenly things weren't making as much sense. Zexion would have gladly been objectified in Axel's eyes. Rather than to have ever heard the word 'Love.' It had become more than a way to pass the empty hours in the dark. Now it was the shinning crystal of altruism, in a glass case made of hope, and a velvet cushion sewn of endearment. Now he was suppose to value it. Treasure it. Supposed to mean something.
He wanted to be in that little glass bubble of sex-for-love-not-for-sex ideals, but he wanted to keep things clean and simple and between the sheets. He was sitting in the dregs of the slums of the world, down in a black hole, chilled to the bone, staring up at the crystal ball of the moon. He had passed the point of seeing things for their value, and had reached the point of seeing them for their price. No matter how nice and how entertaining, how perfect and comfortable it would be to love his lover, Zexion just didn't have it in him.
An awful feeling. Left with a clean, clear, solid divide between 'Love,' and 'Material.'