A/N: What, oh what will Hatori do? He's starting to realize Ayame's important to him…but just how important? Shigure knows things and he's not telling…or will he?

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, and I'm not making any money off this, either.

Ratings: PG-13

Genre: Angst/ Drama

Warnings: Yoai

Main Characters: Sohma Ayame, Sohma Hatori, Sohma Shigure, and Sohma Yuki

Additional Notes: Heh. Well, in case you're curious, "Himitsu to Kokuhaku" means "Secrets and Confessions". It's still depressing. Sorry.

Sakura Snows

Chapter 3: Himitsu to Kokuhaku

"Is he awake?"

Shigure glanced back. "No, not yet… Haa-san…do you know…why?"

Hatori frowned. "Why he did it? No—"

"No, why he's so angry at you lately…"

The dragon's eyes narrowed. "How do you know about that?"

The dog looked away, back to Ayame's still frame. "If…if he doesn't…doesn't make it…then I'll tell you," he said softly. "But only then…"

"Shigure—"

"Don't." He shook his head. "Don't ask me! I promised him…and I will not break that promise now!"

The dragon's eyes were wild as he wrenched Shigure's shoulder, forcing the dog to look at him. "Do you realize that whatever secret you're keeping from me could very well be the reason for his attempts? If you don't tell me, I won't be able to prevent the next one!"

"No!" yelled Shigure back, eyes hard and determined, closed doors behind which lay the secrets that were plaguing the dragon. "I promised him! And it wouldn't change anything even if I told you!"

"Leave me to decide that Shigure!" hissed the dragon. "I can't lose him! I just can't! It would kill me Shigure! Destroy me! Do you want that!"

Shigure looked at the ground, his eyes closed. "Why do you think I would?" he asked softly. "But how can you think I will betray the trust Aaya gave me so long ago when he couldn't bear it any longer, the silence, and had to tell someone?"

"But why you?" It hurt, that the snake hadn't trusted him enough. Why hadn't Ayame told him? Why Shigure? "Why not me!"

"I don't know."

Hatori looked away, slamming his fist into the wall angrily as he passed it, feet leading him to one side of the room only to take him to the other and back again. Shigure watched the dragon silently, noting the drawn, worn face and the bent posture, the sagging eyelids.

"Haa-san…"

Hatori looked up. "What?"

"Haa-san, go rest…I'll watch him."

"I can't!"

Shigure shook his head. "No…you need sleep; you're about to collapse." Hatori frowned, about to protest. "No…just go. I'll watch him and get you if anything changes." Hatori glanced at Ayame uneasily. "I promise Haa-san. Now go!"

Hatori sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "All right…but if he changes even a little—"

"—I'll get you," finished Shigure firmly. "Now, go to sleep!"

Hatori opened his mouth to protest but all that emerged was a deep yawn. Shigure smiled slightly. The dragon shook his head and made his way to the door, pausing in the doorway. "Take…take care of him for me Shigure…please…"

"I will," promised the dog, a small smiled on his lips. "Now go!"

As soon as Hatori had left to his guest room, Shigure turned back to Ayame's still form and his eyes narrowed. "Aaya…why did you do this?" he whispered. Was it because the hopelessness became too much for you? Or was it because you thought he would see through you? Wouldn't understand you? Reject you?

Again the snake gave no answer and Shigure sighed, resigning himself to the helpless role of observer yet again. He was always forced to watch. He could only watch as Ayame and Yuki had grown farther and farther apart until Ayame could scarcely remember Yuki's name. He could only stare as Akito nearly blinded Hatori and the dragon's world crashed around him. Always forced to watch, helpless to stop anything.

He shook his head. "I'm so sorry Aaya…I couldn't help you…"

Shigure could have sworn her heard and soft "I forgive you" from the snake, but he knew it was fallacy. Ayame hadn't said anything, he couldn't. A small sob choked him and tears that he'd held since he'd first seen the snake began to fall to shatter against the hardwood floor, like stars falling to oblivion.

"Aaya…"

Please…don't give up hope…not yet…please…

/\\\

Yuki peered into to each room as he passed, searching for Hatori, or maybe even Shigure, as he wandered through the dragon's seemingly empty house. "Hatori? Shigure?"

"Yuki?"

He turned to see a worn Shigure leaning against the doorjamb of Hatori's room, dark circles under his eyes. "Shigure, where's Hatori? I—"

"Not so loud," sighed the dog, massaging his temple tiredly. "Hatori is sleeping in the guestroom. Don't bother him…"

Yuki frowned. "What happened? You left dinner last night so fast I thought you wouldn't even bother to open the door to get out."

Shigure shook his head, disappearing back into the room he'd emerged from. The rat glanced around before following the dog, frowning when he caught sight of Ayame's limp form on the futon. "What's he doing here?"

Shigure's eyes closed. "That's why I left so fast…he slit his wrists yesterday afternoon…"

Yuki's eyes widened and he stared at his brother, horror-struck. "But—"

"He hasn't woken up yet… We don't know why he did it."

The rat didn't answer as he stared. "I don't get it," he said suddenly. "I mean, he's…he's him…"

"I know."

Yuki shook his head, eyes never leaving Ayame's pale face. "Hatori…?"

"I made him go rest," answered Shigure, leaning tiredly against the wall as he sat on the floor. "He was about to collapse…"

The rat looked over at the dog suddenly. "You…you look like you're about to do the same," he muttered. Shigure shook his head.

"No, Yuki… I have to…have to…"

He trailed off, yawning widely.

Yuki smiled barely. "Go rest Shigure. I'll watch Nii-san and get you if anything happens. Go."

Shigure sighed, too tired to possibly argue. He shakily got to his feet, calling quietly over his shoulder, "Not me, Yuki…if anything happens…get Hatori…"

Yuki nodded before turning back to his brother. Nii-san…why…?

/\\\

Shigure staggered down the hall, heading unconsciously for Hatori's guestroom. His feet dragged from weights he couldn't speak of, but for a promise to a withering soul; still, it was hard. He opened the shoji quietly and went in, standing at the edge of the bed as Hatori slept under the covers, his closed eyes nearly sunken and tired.

"Haa-san…if only you knew…"

The dragon stirred slightly in his sleep and the dog stiffened, eyes wide and anxious. After a moment, however, he realized the other man was still sound asleep. He sighed, releasing a latent breath. He headed back towards the door, glancing over his shoulder as he shut it.

Sleep on Haa-san… Ayame's waiting for you to save him…the gods know I can't…

/\\\

Yuki took a deep breath. Hesitantly, he reached out and brushed a thin hand through Ayame's silver hair; it was soft, like silk. The rat swallowed. "Nii-san…"

The snake had grown paler, though Yuki blamed that on anxiety and a dark imagination; it appeared his breathing had gotten all the more shallow and rattling, again Yuki shoved the thought away, finding it impossible to believe that his graceful and 'perfect' brother could ever come close to such a dark death…

The rat's fingers brushed milky-pale skin and he frowned, brushing back his own hair from his eyes with his other hand. Ayame's hand seemed colder. His pulse was flitting thinly beneath his wasted skin. Yuki's eyes widened. Oh gods…Nii-san!

He scrambled to his feet; something wasn't right. He was no doctor, but he knew that much. He was sprinting down the hall in seconds. "Hatori! Hatori!"

The dragon's guestroom door opened to reveal a weary, yet worried Hatori, clad in an old blue kimono Ayame would have had burned immediately if he could have seen it. "What is it Yuki?"

"Nii-san! Something's wrong!" The dragon's eyes narrowed to slits and he hurried after the rat to the room Ayame had been laid in.

Dropping to his knees beside the weakening man, the dragon checked for a pulse. "What happened," he snapped.

Yuki swallowed. "I-I don't know…he's cold… He's pale, a-and his heartbeat…"

"All right! Enough!" Yuki's eyes widened and his mouth shut immediately.

"Haa-san…?"

Yuki looked back to see the dog standing anxiously in the doorway, his face drawn, eyes tumultuous. Hatori didn't answer at first and Shigure took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm; his hand tightened it's hold on the doorjamb, his mouth dry.

"He's…he's getting weaker," Hatori faded off, swallowing. Shigure closed his eyes, pained; Yuki just stared mutely at the snake. "There's nothing…nothing I can do for him… We just have to pray…that he has the will to live…"

Shigure groaned, sliding down with his back against the wall, his head in his hands. Aaya…please! Please! Come back…

Hatori took a breath. "Out," he whispered, voice barely audible. The other two looked up at him, frowning. "Out…please…"

The rat and dog exchanged a quick glance before doing as the dragon had asked. Once they were gone, Hatori turned back to Ayame, his face softening as his dark, troubled emerald eyes rested on the snake. "Ayame…"

He didn't know why, but tears were gathering in his eyes, blurring what vision he still had. "Ayame, please…I need you here…please don't go!" he pleaded, brushing his knuckles lightly down the snake's sunken cheek. "I couldn't live… I couldn't live with myself if you… Please Ayame…"

He closed his eyes, swallowing back a sob. "Ayame, what have you been trying to tell me? That I've been ignoring you?" he asked. "Because I'm sorry… I see now that I haven't really…listened to you since…since before Kana…please…"

He opened his eyes, gazing at the snake's ethereal face, the serene image. The man's skin was smooth, like ice, as well as pale. His eyes traveled down to the silver-haired man's hands, his sewn wrists, and a sob caught in his throat. The thin sutures seemed so out of place against the pale flesh of Ayame's wrists, like a raven against ashes, so out of place… He was beautiful in every sense of the word, it suddenly occurred to Hatori.

He leaned down next to Ayame, his lips slightly brushing the snake's ear. "Ayame…I can't live without you… I can't lose you…please… I need you, Ayame…"

/\\\

A/N: Well, what a revelation. But still, Shigure manages to keep his secret for another chapter. Ayame's weakening; will he have the will to live? And Yuki…has his feelings for Ayame changed? And Hatori…what will happen? Keep reading… And thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers!

To My Most Wonderful Reviewers:

Amai Uryou- Fine! Stop poking me! I updated for you! Seesh! Heh...hey Usagi-chan, thanks for reading and reviewing.

FireChibi- Yes, I know I'm mean. Oh well. But, again, I do agree: poor Aaya-chan-sama! Please keep reading and reviewing! It really makes my day!

dimonyo-anghel- I must know, why poor Shigure? But yes, Hatori does have a fine, yet stupid, ass, doesn't he? Heh... Thanks for the review! Keep reading, it gets better...

Zukinn Chan- Wow... Thanks for a really flattering compliment! I hope you like the surprise in store... It's about to get a lot more dark and twisted... Enjoy!

Mist's Child- Hmm...fresh meat... Kidding! Hey, thanks for the review! And I hope you're liking the story so far...

All of you; thank you soo much! And please, keep reading and reviewing!