A Love That Will Never Grow Old

Chapter 3

Greyeyedgirl

"So. Are you going to tell me about these nightmares, or not?"

"Not." Cristina pulled out the chair at the table, sitting down in front of a plate of pancakes.

Burke looked at her for a moment, before dragging his fork through his eggs listlessly.

Cristina sighed. "It's nothing, all right?"

Burke shrugged. "Fine."

Cristina smiled a small smile, nodding slightly. "Thank you."

"But," Burke said. Cristina's smile disappeared. "These nightmares aren't going to go away until you talk about it."

Cristina set down her fork, getting up from the table to go finish getting ready for work.

888888888

"Are you avoiding Burke again?" Meredith glanced up at her from her spot in the Observation Deck.

"Why would you ask that?" Cristina sat down next to her on the bench.

"You're not stealing all the good patients."

Cristina sighed. "You're right. I'm avoiding Burke."

Meredith's eyes slid sideways towards Cristina. "Have you told him? That you're not really living with him?"

Cristina felt her breathing shallow. "I think I might be living with him. I ended the lease on my apartment."

Meredith smiled a small smile.

"So why the avoidance?"

"Nothing. It's just something stupid. Something he won't let go." Cristina's voice was hesitant.

"Something as in..." Meredith let her voice drift off. Cristina turned to glare at her.

"Something as in something!"

Meredith laughed. "Thanks for clearing things up."

8888888888

Cristina threw down her keys as she entered the apartment, closing the door swiftly behind her. This was exactly the reason why she'd wanted to keep her apartment. She'd spent the whole day avoiding Burke, and now she had to walk swiftly into his trap. Maybe he'd planned it that way.

Burke wasn't back yet. She had to admit this surprised her, after she had surreptitiously avoided him all day, she'd figured he'd be waiting for her, ever so perseverant.

She was tired. She'd been desperately trying to sleep as little as possible, but her short naps didn't seem to be being enough. She shook her hair out of its ponytail, deciding to do what she always did when she was so tired she felt she might collapse inexorably on the floor.

She took her clothes off quickly once inside the bathroom, leaving them in a giant heap on the tile floor. The water felt burning on her skin, but she liked it that way.

She ran her fingers through her hair under the steady fire of the water, letting the water keep her awake. She briefly remembered her times during high school, college, and med school. She'd get so tired, the only thing that would keep her awake was a hot shower. Some days she'd have to take 2 or 3, spaced a few hours apart. She'd been the cleanest girl in her dorm.

Stop it. She was not, not going to take a stroll down Memory Lane. She was not. Nothing could be helped with the past, the future was what mattered. The future was everything.

And then she was crying. She was crying, and her warm tears mixed and combined with the water shooting out like needles. She felt her breathing become uneven, carbon dioxide being released in short, fast bursts. No, no, no! Stop it!

Nooooooooooooooooo.

Please, please no.

Daddy!

88888888888888888

Burke made his way slowly into the apartment, tiredly removing his coat and hanging it on the hook, not even noticing the black jacket that was already there. He rubbed his temples with the first two fingers of each hand, his eyes closed as he made his way down the hallway. He stepped into the bedroom he shared with Cristina, smiling automatically as he stepped over an article of clothing she had left hazardously on the floor the night before. He changed into his pajamas in silence, barely able to keep his eyes open. He walked slowly into the bathroom, intending to wash his face.

There he paused, hearing the sound of the shower running and noticing the small heap of clothes in front of the sink.

"Oh," he said aloud. "Cristina? Sorry, I didn't realize you were home-"

He stopped talking, hearing a quiet sob, a heavy breath. "Cristina?" He gently nudged the curtain, trying to see if she was all right without coming off like a pervert.

The water was freezing, sharp needles of ice whipping down and stabbing at her. He looked at her face in silence for a moment, before reaching down to shut off the shower, then turning the faucet until all the running of the water ceased.

Cristina was shaking.

He looked around for her powder-blue bathrobe, but not seeing it, grabbed his dark navy one instead. It struck him that their bathrobes matched their scrubs.

He took a towel from the cupboard-like thing in the corner, wrapping it gently around Cristina's body. He wrapped his arms under hers, lifting her cleanly out of the bathtub. She wrapped her drenched arms around him, soaking his t-shirt, but he didn't notice. Her quiet sobs shook in his ears, breaking his heart.

Preston gently took hold of the towel, and slowly, silently began to dry off her soft body. He rubbed the towel sensitively over her body, as her soft sobs continued to shake him.

He finished drying her off, before gently wrapping his bathrobe around her, tying the loose belt around her tiny waist. "Come on," he whispered, speaking for the first time.

He led her slowly to the bedroom, lying her carefully down on the bed. Her crying had softened, and he crawled next to her, kissing her delicate shoulder once.

Her voice came out quiet and hoarse. "Burke, I'm not in the mood."

He shook his head against hers. "You think seeing you cry turns me on?"

He laid down next to her, gathering up her body and holding her close. "Please tell me," he whispered.

Her crying grew worse. No, no, no.

"No, no, no," she whispered.

He ran his fingers through her hair, hugging her tighter. "Cristina," he murmured.

"Please no," she murmured, shaking horribly. "No. No, no, no! It's okay that he didn't love me. He didn't love me. He didn't mean to hurt me. It's not what people who love do. He didn't hurt me. It didn't happen. None of it has to be real." Her crying was quiet like her whispers, but her breathing was loud and shallow.

Burke watched her, feeling an anger so large he was surprised he could hold it. There was a monster in him that roared back to life, as he looked at his broken down girlfriend. This was worse than when she'd cried in her hospital room. Then there'd been something pure about her tears, and now there was just pain. Preston's voice came out rough and hushed. "Who hurt you?" I Will Kill Him.

Cristina's cries became loud and frantic. "No! No, no! It's not what people who love each other do!" She was almost screaming now. "Burke, he HURT her!"

Burke's breathing was as fast as Cristina's now, and with this, Cristina's tears almost stopped. She buried her head in his shoulder, covering them with a thick blanket. They laid like this for a long, long time, and no matter what Burke did, he couldn't get her to say anything else, except for an almost silent whisper deep into the night. "I love you."