Hello hello hello, here's the next chapter for you all. A lot of you were pretty upset with me after how the last chapter ended, but I hope this doesn't disappoint.
Enjoy.
Chapter Fifty Two
"I… I've been thinking a lot about it, and I'm not sure if we should get married."
Matt's eyes widened in shock, Gabby unable to look at him as a mixture of confusion and hurt played across his face, his lips parting as he tried to comprehend what she had just said.
They sat in a heavy silence for a few moments, Matt's eyes narrowing as he tried to think of some explanation for this, as he tried to think of any reason that would make this make sense. But he couldn't.
Gabby forced herself to look up at him, her heart shattering in her chest as she saw how upset her words had made him, Matt shaking his head as he caught her gaze, tears filling her eyes.
"I- I don't understand." He breathed out, his voice soft and unsure. "I thought… I thought this is what you wanted. When I proposed again, you told me you never stopped wanting this, I don't-" He cut himself off, swallowing thickly as he tried to make sense of his own thoughts. "I don't know what happened, why don't you want to get married to me?" He questioned shakily, Gabby blinking back the tears sitting in her eyes as she shook her head quickly side to side.
"It's not that I don't want to." She responded, his confusion only growing. "It's what I want, I want it so bad. There's nothing I want more than to be your wife again." Gabby admitted, Matt's head tilting to the side, watching as a few lone tears escaped down her cheeks.
"I don't get it, then what's the problem?" He asked, clearing the emotion from his voice, Gabby reaching out for his hand. Matt leaned forward on the edge of the coffee table to be closer to her, feeling her squeeze his hand tightly. "Baby, what is it?"
"I don't want to do that to you." She breathed out shakily, her tears spilling over as she dropped his gaze, Matt blinking furiously as he tried to comprehend the meaning of her words.
"What do you mean, Gabby?" He asked for clarification, trying to ignore the sinking feeling he felt in his chest, Matt keeping his eyes on her as she drew in a shaky breath. "Hey, look at me." He prompted, her teary gaze meeting his as she lifted her head, tears slipping down her skin. "What are you talking about?"
"If something happens to me," Her breath caught in her throat, Matt's stomach dropping as tears gathered in his eyes, the man shaking his head sadly. "I don't… I don't want it to be any harder on you than it already will be, and I feel like if we got married again, it would just make it worse." Gabby's voice was unstable, her words coming out in whispers as she tried to explain her thoughts, her heart breaking as she saw the pained look on his face. "Something about it, I just can't imagine doing that to you. I think we should wait until after the baby… just incase."
Matt's eyes fell closed, his head falling forward, trying to figure out how to respond to her. He didn't know what to say to make this better, there was nothing he could say to fix this. And they both knew it. There were so many unknowns hanging in the air, so much so that they could be suffocating if they let it, but he knew they couldn't get stuck on them. They had to worry about what they could control, and one thing they did have a say in was being married again.
"Matt…" Her shaky voice hit his ears, his head snapping up as he met her gaze, seeing endless tears streaming down her face. Clearing his throat, Matt dropped her hand, Gabby watching him closely, confusion playing out across her face. He stood up without a word, Gabby swallowing back a sob, fearing he was leaving. But he caught her by surprise when he moved to sit down beside her on the couch, his leg up against hers as he angled his body towards her, wrapping his arm around her back.
She kept her gaze on him, blinking back the tears sitting in her eyes, bringing him into focus as he stared at her. His throat bobbed up and down, Matt clearly trying to figure out what to say, the two sitting in a thick silence before he finally spoke up.
"If something happens to you… there isn't anything that's going to make it any better." He spoke softly, Gabby's chest tightening.
"Matt-"
"Just wait." He spoke, Gabby nodding slowly, wiping away the new tears that had fallen before reaching out for him, grabbing ahold of his hand. "You and I not being married isn't going to make it easier. Nothing could make losing you any easier. And truthfully, if something does happen, and you're not here, I don't know if I could live with myself knowing we hadn't gotten married when we had the chance." He admitted, tears flowing down her cheeks, Gabby unsure of what to say. "Every day I hope that nothing will happen to you, that you'll be here to see our daughter grow up." A soft sob escaped her lips, Matt lifting his hand to cradle her head. "But if you're not, I want to have been married to you again. You are my wife, as far as I'm concerned. You will always be my wife, whether you're here or not. And all I want is to make it official." He breathed out, Gabby shutting her eyes tightly.
Matt's eyes traced over her distraught face, rubbing his thumb across her cheek as he gave her a moment to gather herself, Gabby taking shallow breaths, fresh tears escaping her eyes.
"If this is the only reason you don't want to get married, if you're only doing this because you think it'll help me, I need you to know that's not what I want. I want to be married to you again, I wish we never stopped being married, but we can't change that. All we can do is fix what was broken, and I want our daughter coming into this world with her parents being married." He spoke, her eyes fluttering open, meeting his gaze.
Slowly, she nodded, nuzzling her cheek into his hand, blinking furiously as more tears ran down her skin.
"Are you sure?" She asked, Matt giving her a strong nod, leaning forward to capture her lips with his. The movement was soft and gentle, their lips moving together slowly as he felt her tears against his skin, Gabby's hand moving up to grip his neck.
Matt had gotten lost in her, his mind focused on only Gabby as they moved together. But his worries came flooding back with a vengeance when he felt a soft sob escape her lips, Matt pulling back to see new tears endlessly pouring down her face, another sob leaving her lips.
"Gabby…" He breathed out, blinking back the tears in his eyes as he saw her fall apart. Her body began shaking as her loud cries filled the room, her head falling down into her hands as sobs wracked her body. "Come here." He murmured, carefully leaning them back against the couch, bringing her into his side.
She fell into his chest, her cries only getting louder as he held her, the sound making his stomach sink as he cradled her head against him.
"It's okay." He whispered, feeling her tears hit his bare chest, her breathing ragged as her emotions grabbed ahold of her. "Everything's gonna be okay."
He wasn't sure how long they sat there, her cries coming in waves as she released every pent up emotion she'd been holding onto for weeks. This was a long time coming, if he was being honest with himself he knew this was bound to happen at some point, but it didn't make it any easier hearing her cry, and feeling her clutch onto him like her life depended on it. He wasn't surprised her emotions had boiled over to this, but that didn't stop it from breaking his heart.
Matt knew she'd been bottling things up recently, and that her worries about getting married were just the tip of the iceberg. He just wished he hadn't let it get to this point, that he did more to get her to talk to him. He'd done what he could to give her space, and let her try and work through things on her own, but he never intended it to get this bad.
Her short breaths brought him out of his thoughts, Matt rubbing over her head, placing his other hand against her stomach, holding her as close as he could without hurting her. He knew she needed to calm down, but he also knew she needed this. She needed to get this out of her system, Matt doing what he could to keep his own breaths steady, hoping the movement would help calm her.
Her cries had gotten quieter, but her tears seemed never ending as she moved her hand to his leg, gripping his thigh tightly,
"I…" She cut herself off as soon as she spoke, her voice caught in her throat, Matt pressing a kiss to her forehead, silently reassuring her. "I don't wanna die, Matt." She choked out, his body tensing when her words hit his ears, his eyes falling closed as it felt like his heart collapsed in his chest. "This whole time I knew it was a possibility, I knew the risks-" She started coughing, her words halting as he rubbed her back, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. "I've known the entire time something could happen to me, but we're getting closer to her getting here, and then everything with that woman yesterday... It's becoming real, and I can't do it." She spoke, her breath catching in her throat as fresh tears filled her eyes.
Matt swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to stop the tears escaping his eyes as he wracked his brain for something to say, for anything that might make her feel better. But it felt like his chest was caving in, like he was being suffocated, and he didn't know what to say to her.
"I don't regret her, I could never regret the choice to keep her… But I'm scared." She breathed out shakily, slowly lifting her head from his chest, meeting his teary eyes. "I'm scared I'm going to die."
Matt stared at her intently, his mouth parting open before he closed it, desperately searching for the right words to say.
"I'm scared, too." He responded after a few moments, his voice unsteady, Matt frantically wiping away the tears stalling on his skin. "And I have no idea what I'd do without you, I hate thinking about it because I know I can't do this if you're not here with me." He continued, Gabby moving her hand to his stomach. "But all I know to do is focus on what we have control of, because if I do anything else it feels like I'm drowning." He admitted softly, Gabby nodding slowly, understanding the feeling. "Thinking of you not being here absolutely kills me, I can't focus on it. So I've tried to just focus on the thought of our daughter, and you and I hopefully being able to raise her together." He stuttered out, Gabby drawing in a slow breath. "I know this is impossible. I wish I knew how to make it better, I wish I could fix this and I'm so sorry I can't. But all I know to do is take every precaution we can, and focus on the ninety percent chance that you'll be perfectly fine." He told her, Gabby nodding slowly as a few more tears slid down her cheeks, leaning forward to place a soft kiss against his lips, tension easing from both of their bodies.
When they pulled away, Gabby adjusted her positioning on the couch, getting herself as close to Matt as she could manage with her belly, Matt following her lead as they cuddled on the couch, her back pressed against his chest.
"I need you to know how much I love you." She whispered after a few silent moments, Matt pressing a kiss against her temple, trying to push down the heavy feeling settling in his gut.
"I know." He murmured against her, Gabby grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers together.
"And I need you to know I'm sorry." She spoke, Matt glancing towards her. "If something happens to me, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault." He replied instantly, Gabby moving their conjoined hands to rest over her chest. "No matter what happens, I don't blame you for this. I'd never blame you, alright?"
"I know you don't." She responded, leaning her head back against his shoulder. "But I still need you to know that I'm sorry."
Matt simply nodded, leaning his head against hers, his eyes falling closed as he focused on her breathing, both of them needing a second to decompress.
He couldn't get her painful words out of his head; her crying, saying how she didn't want to die. No matter what happened, he knew those words would haunt him for the rest of his life. There was a fear in her voice he'd only heard from her a handful of times before, and it left him reeling. He felt helpless; there was nothing he could do to make this better. And what made it all the worse was that no matter how terrible he was feeling right now, he knew it was even harder for her. The thought made him nauseous, and left him with a sense of hopelessness.
But he had to be strong for her. He had no choice. He could focus on himself later, right now she was his main priority. Her and their baby girl.
"I'm so proud of you, you know." He spoke up, breaking them out of their quiet, tapping his thumb against her chest.
"For what?" She questioned, her voice thick with emotion.
"For everything." He replied, Gabby leaning her head back against his neck. "I know you're scared. This is terrifying, but what you're doing for our little girl… you are the strongest person I know." He breathed out, glancing down to see a few new tears escape down her cheeks. "You've done everything you can to keep yourself safe, and to keep our girl safe." She gave his hand a squeeze, turning her head to place a soft kiss against his jaw, pressing her forehead against the side of his face. "I can't imagine how scary this is for you. I know what it's like for me, but what you're doing… you are so brave Gabby. And I am so proud of you." He spoke, blinking back his tears. "I don't know if that means all that much, but I'd like to think it does." He chuckled with watery eyes, trying to ease some of the heaviness in the room, the crushing weight in his chest lifting slightly as he heard her soft laughter, the sound reverberating through her chest.
"It means everything." She whispered, bringing her free hand up to wipe away her tears before cradling his cheek, Gabby drawing in a shaky breath.
"I love you so much." He murmured. "And I'm always here, no matter what. Whatever you're feeling, you can come to me with anything."
"I know I can… I'm sorry for pushing you away, I just- part of me feels so guilty for feeling like this. I'm her mother, what happens to me shouldn't matter as long as she's okay."
"Of course it matters." He replied quickly. "There's nothing wrong with you being scared, okay? You have every right to be scared. This is your life. I don't want you feeling guilty for being afraid." He spoke, his voice soft as she looked forward, returning her head to his shoulder. "I'm absolutely terrified of something happening to you, but that doesn't make me a bad father, does it?"
"No." She breathed out without hesitation, realization washing over her as she understood the point he was making.
"And the same goes for you." He responded, moving the hand he had on her shoulder up to cradle her head. "You being scared doesn't mean you don't want her, and it certainly doesn't make you a bad mother. You are going to be the most amazing mom to our girl, she is so lucky to have you. I don't want you to ever doubt that." He spoke, leaning his head against hers. "But if you ever need a reminder, I'm here. I just need you to talk to me, baby."
Gabby nodded, drawing in a deep breath as she gave his hand a firm squeeze. They fell into a comfortable quiet, the events of the past half hour lingering in the air as they sat together on the couch. It was difficult for him to comprehend, but a part of him felt lighter. Despite the heaviness of their conversation, Matt felt a little better now that he at least knew what had been bothering her. And he could only hope she was feeling a bit of the same relief.
"We should get married." She broke their silence, Matt's eyebrows raising as he glanced down towards her, unable to see her face, but he could picture the smile surely resting there.
"You're sure?" He questioned, Gabby sitting up out of his grasp, their hands dropping as she slowly turned to face him. "Because if you really want to wait, we can."
"No, I don't want to wait. I want us to be married, as long you're sure you're okay with it if something does happen… I thought by waiting it would help you, but if you're sure that's not what you want, I want to do this."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." He replied instantly, mirroring what she'd said to him when they first got married, his words bringing a wide smile to her face. "I'd marry you tomorrow if I could, hell I'd marry you right this second if it were possible."
Her chest filled with warmth as she saw the joy that spread across his face, Gabby cupping his cheeks as she placed a firm kiss on his lips, his hands moving to her growing waist.
"Maybe not tomorrow," She spoke, her nose scrunched up in amusement at his excitement. "But soon. Definitely soon." Gabby assured him, his smile widening as she leaned forward, capturing his lips with hers again, their movements starting out slow before she deepened the kiss.
Her hand slid down from his cheek, trailing down his chest, stopping briefly as she got to the waistband of his boxers, her actions making him groan into her mouth. Teasing the material, her fingertips slowly slid under the elastic, Matt using every ounce of willpower within him to pull back, his hand resting on her belly as he caught her eye.
"Are you sure?" He asked, his chest heaving as he watched her nod. "You're sure it's okay?" Matt knew it had been a long day, that her emotions were all over the place, and he also knew they needed to be careful. He'd taken Dr. Tanner's precautions to heart, the two not having stopped their activities altogether, but they had changed how they went about them. And after the stressful and emotional day she'd had, he didn't want to do anything that might put her in harm's way. He needed her to be sure.
"I want to." She replied, her hand slipping out of his boxers, running across his stomach, catching the look of hesitation flashing in his eyes. "Please, Matt."
Nodding slowly, he placed a soft, passionate kiss on her lips before standing up, holding out his hands for her to grab onto, Matt helping her up before clasping her hand in his and leading her to the bedroom.
An involuntary chill ran through Gabby's body as she fought off consciousness, her body immediately telling her she hadn't gotten enough sleep as exhaustion swept through her half-conscious state. She couldn't figure out what had woken her up, but all she wanted was to fall back into her peaceful slumber.
But her body did the opposite, bringing her further into her awake state, Gabby registering the feeling of something moving over her stomach, Matt's muffled voice soon becoming clearer as she woke up, her eyes opening and closing as she tried to gain a sense of her surroundings.
"I know your Momma's scared, we both are." Matt spoke, Gabby glancing down to him, seeing her laying by her stomach, his hand rubbing gently over her belly, his head propped up in his other one. He had lifted her shirt up to rest just under her breasts; the shirt he'd taken off of her hours earlier, the same one she'd put back on during one of her many trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She knew he didn't realize she was awake yet, Gabby staring at the back of his head as he spoke to their daughter. "...But I'm just holding onto the hope that everything's gonna be just fine.. That she'll be fine." He nearly whispered, Gabby's tongue poking out between her teeth as she heard the concern in his words. "You know, I think you're gonna be just like her. I hope you're just like her." He murmured, Gabby doing what she could to keep her tears at bay, her hormones running rampant.
Part of her felt like she should make her presence known, and alert Matt to the fact that she was awake. She didn't want to intrude on his conversation with their daughter, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. There was something about seeing him like this, completely open and vulnerable, that made her heart swell. It was different to how he usually was, even with her. His guard was fully down, he wasn't worried about anything or anyone else, his attention was completely focused on their girl, and it made her fall in love with him all over again.
"Your mom is the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I know you'll be just as amazing as she is. Maybe more so… But let's just keep that between you and me." He spoke, pressing a kiss to her stomach. "I'm so excited to meet you, and for your Momma to meet you. I mean, even though I don't think it's possible for me to love your mom any more than I already do, I have a feeling the first time I see you two together… it's gonna be incredible. I can't wait for that… I hope I get to see that." He murmured, Gabby biting down on her bottom lip, her eyes falling closed.
"But, no matter what happens, you need to know that you are so loved, little girl. Your mom especially, she loves you more than anything else, even more than me. Which is saying a lot." He spoke lightly, his words bringing the smile back to her face. "There's gonna be a lot of people who love you, you've got your Uncle Kelly, who's already obsessed with you, your Uncle Antonio, and your Aunt Jemma… you've got everyone at the firehouse. You've got so many people who would do anything for you. But no one loves you more than me and your Momma, and I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you never doubt that." He whispered, placing another lingering kiss against her stomach, rubbing his thumb over her skin. Gabby felt their daughter kick, her smile widening as she heard Matt chuckle before rubbing his hand over her again. "I'm glad we're on the same page." He joked, Gabby opening her eyes and glancing down towards him.
Wordlessly, she brought her hand up to the back of his head, Matt jumping slightly as he felt her hand run over his scalp. But he quickly relaxed into her touch, taking a second to relish in the feeling before turning around to face her.
"Hey, I didn't know you were up." He spoke, climbing back up the bed to be eye-level with her, Gabby resting her hand over his cheek.
"Well, I heard someone talking and it woke me up." She replied, Matt moving her shirt back down to cover her, pulling the sheets back up over them.
"Sorry." He responded sheepishly, leaning down to press a firm kiss to her lips. "How much did you hear?" He questioned as he pulled away, Matt not missing the tears sitting in her eyes, a soft smile forming on her face.
"Enough to know you're just a big old softy." She teased, Matt smirking as he placed another quick kiss against her.
"I thought you knew that already." He joked, Gabby stroking her thumb over his cheek.
"Oh, I did. But the reminder is always nice." She responded, Matt adjusting himself on his elbows, his eyes tracing over her face.
"How are you doing?" He questioned, the air around them turning serious. Gabby took a deep breath, a thoughtful look crossing her face as her bottom lip fell between her teeth, it taking a few seconds for her to respond.
"I'm okay, considering." She settled on, Matt nodding slowly. "I do feel better, after last night. But I'm still scared… I don't think that'll go away until she's here."
"I know. And it's fine for you to feel like that." He assured her, just as he had last night, earning a nod from her.
"But I am feeling better. Thanks to you."
"I didn't do anything aside from tell you the truth." He responded, giving her another kiss. "But I'm happy to do so anytime you need me to." Matt spoke, his words bringing a soft, knowing smile to her face. "And you're still feeling the same about getting married? You wanna make an honest man out of me, again?" He asked with a smirk, Gabby raising her eyebrows with an amused grin.
"Most definitely." She replied, running her fingers through his short hair. "What about you, you're sure you wanna be stuck with me?"
"Absolutely." He spoke without hesitation. "I can't wait to be married, I've missed Mrs. Captain Casey." He teased, earning a chuckle from her, Gabby shaking her head.
"I'm sure you have." She replied, gently pulling him back towards her, capturing his lips with hers. He made himself comfortable as they moved together, their kisses soft and gentle, both enjoying the feeling of one another. Gabby wasn't sure how long they laid there together, but when they finally pulled apart, she saw a goofy grin on his face, his lips slightly swollen from their sleepy kisses. "I have an idea."
"Hmm?"
"I know we can't get married today, but what if we at least go get our marriage license." She offered, watching as a bright smile filled his face.
"I think that's a great idea." He responded, cradling the side of her face, Gabby bringing her hand up to rest over his. "I can't wait to be married to you again." He murmured again, tapping his thumb against her skin.
"Me neither." She replied, warm smiles covering both of their faces as he leaned forward, capturing her lips in another gentle kiss.
Matt followed beside Gabby as they walked up the driveway, holding both their duffle bags in his hands while hers rested over her stomach, the two mentally preparing for their shift.
"You still feeling alright?" Matt asked as they stepped into the garage, Gabby flashing him a soft smile, one he couldn't help but reciprocate.
"I'm good." She promised, reaching out to grab his arm, squeezing it as a form of reassurance.
"Good. Just remember you can come to me if you're not." He reminded her, Gabby nodding as their paths crossed with Brett and Foster, the paramedics heading for the rig.
"Hey guys." Dawson greeted.
"Hey Dawson, Casey." Brett spoke. "We were just gonna check over our inventory, if you wanna join." The blonde offered, Gabby nodding.
"Yeah, sure." She obliged, glancing back to Matt, her eyes flashing to her bag.
"I can put your stuff in your locker." He responded before she could ask him, Gabby grinning.
"Thank you." She spoke, leaning up to press a quick kiss against his cheek before following Brett and Foster to the rig.
"How are you feeling, Gabby?" Foster asked, Matt watching as they walked away.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry about everything last shift, there was a lot of things going on and that call kind of just pushed me over the edge." She breathed out, shaking her head in embarrassment.
"Nothing to apologize for, that call was rough on all of us, I know it had to have been worse for you." Brett responded, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. "We're just glad you're feeling better."
"Me too."
Matt couldn't hear anymore of their conversation as he began walking towards the double doors, gripping their bags tightly in his hand. He barely got around the rig when a body stopped his path, Matt's eyebrows furrowing as he saw Garcia step out from behind the truck, a soft grin resting on his face.
"Garcia." Casey spoke, taking a step back.
"Hey Casey." He responded, crossing his arms over his chest, Matt watching him expectantly.
"Did you need something?" Matt asked after a few moments of intense silence, Garcia nodding.
"I got the word from headquarters, this is my last shift here on 81." He spoke.
Casey kept his face blank, not wanting to show the pure relief and elation he was feeling internally at the news, Matt giving him a slow nod.
"Well, I appreciate you helping out around here while I was recovering." Matt said, Garcia's smirk widening.
"Yeah, I knew it was coming, but it's a damn shame. I was looking forward to sticking around." He replied, Matt unsure of what to say, watching as Garcia's gaze flickered across the garage. "I'm really gonna miss all that 51 has to offer." He spoke with a gleam in his eye, Matt following his gaze, his muscles tensing as his eyes landed on Gabby. She was standing outside the back of the rig, her attention focused on the women sitting inside, her hand resting on her back, completely unaware of the pairs of eyes on her.
Turning back to look at Garcia, Matt found the man's smug grin waiting for him, Casey's eyes narrowing.
"Oh I'm just messing around, Captain." Garcia laughed it off, patting his shoulder. "I told you, I'd never encroach on your territory." He spoke, glancing back towards Gabby, blowing out a whistle as he shook his head. "But, you are one hell of a lucky guy."
Matt's glare stayed focused on Garcia, swallowing thickly as he tried to squash the agitation building in his chest. "I don't think it's appropriate to make comments like that about our paramedics." Casey bit out, Garcia chuckling.
"I mean, we all know you've done more inappropriate things to Dawson than that." He joked, shaking his head as he squeezed Casey's shoulder, Matt shrugging him off. "Oh man, am I gonna miss it here."
Before Casey could respond, the bells rang out, signaling 81 and 61 to a fire downtown, Garcia giving him one last smile before heading for the rig. Blowing out a forceful breath between his teeth, Matt moved the few steps to the squad table, catching Severide's gaze.
"What was that about?" Kelly asked, Matt shaking his head.
"Garcia's trying to get me to kill him." Casey breathed out, placing his and Gabby's bags down before running towards the truck, Severide watching his friend until he was out of sight.
Casey pushed open the double doors and stepped out into the garage, continuing his path back to the squad table. Truck had returned from their call about twenty minutes ago, Matt having gone to put up his and Gabby's things the minute he got back. Once he completed that task, he had stopped by his office to get a few pieces of paperwork that needed to be dropped off to Boden, Casey going to do that before ending up back out here.
"Hey Sev." He greeted, pulling out the chair beside his friend, sitting down into it. Severide was alone in the garage, Casey sure all the other men were only inside to escape the brutal heat blanketing the city.
"Hey man." Kelly replied, turning to face him. "How'd your call go?"
"It was fine." Matt answered, relaxing into his seat. "I'll be happy when Garcia's gone, though. Having two Captains on one truck… it's not something I enjoy dealing with."
"Yeah, what was all that before you left?" Severide asked, glancing around to ensure they were still alone.
"He was making comments about Gabby, again." Casey responded frustratedly. "But he'll be gone after this shift.. Just one more day and then hopefully I'll never have to see him again."
"Hopefully." Severide agreed, knowing how much the new Captain got under his skin. "How is she doing, by the way? Gabby?"
Drawing in a deep breath, Matt leaned forward, his forearms resting on the table as he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, trying to decide how to answer.
"She's feeling better, but her and I talked a lot about what had been really bothering her and I just… I feel so helpless with all this." He admitted vaguely, Kelly nodding sympathetically. "She's so scared to have this baby, and I don't blame her. I'm terrified, and I just don't know how to help her."
"Has there been any change with anything? I know you said how you all have to keep an eye on her aneurysm."
"No, there hadn't been any change, at least not at our last appointment. We go back again next week for her thirty week one, so they'll check again then… I just wish there was more I could do, that there was anything I could do to make this better."
"Have you guys talked anymore about getting married? That's sure to lift her spirits." Severide suggested, his eyebrows furrowing as he saw the look that flashed over Matt's face. "What? That's still happening, isn't it?"
"No, no it is. In fact, her and I went and filled out everything for our marriage license yesterday."
"That's great, right?" He questioned, clearly unsure.
"It is, yeah. It's just… the other night when her and I were talking about everything, she said she wasn't sure if we should get married."
Severide choked on his own saliva, Matt giving him a pointed stare as the Lieutenant tried to calm himself back down, clearing his throat multiple times. "What?" He coughed out, Matt patting his back.
"She said she wasn't sure if we should get married." He repeated, even though he knew that Severide had heard him clearly the first time. "It wasn't because of us, or because she doesn't want to… she said she didn't want to do that to me."
"I don't follow." Kelly replied, Matt rubbing his hand over his mouth.
"Yeah, that was kind of my reaction, too." Casey breathed out, shaking his head. "She had gotten it in her head that if her and I were married and something happened to her, it would only make it harder on me, and she didn't want that. She said she wanted to wait until after our daughter was born, just incase." He spoke, Severide frozen momentarily before he blew out a heavy breath.
"Jesus." He muttered.
"Tell me about it." Matt responded, pressing firmly against his forehead, willing away the headache forming in his skull. "It completely caught me off guard, she hadn't said anything about wanting to wait, especially not because of that. I mean, I guess looking back on it, she'd been acting a little off whenever I'd bring it up, but there were always other things going on. I never realized it was because of that."
"But you all still decided to get married before the baby?"
"Yeah, we did. We talked about it… I was the only reason she wanted to wait. But I assured her that's not what I want, that if anything, us not being married would be worse if something happens. But the whole conversation it just… it opened up the floodgates to everything else. It was a hard night."
"It sounds like it." Severide responded, shaking his head. "But you guys are good now?"
"Her and I are fine, we always were. I'm just worried, I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about her… But we're taking it one day at a time, that's all we can do." He spoke, Kelly grasping his shoulder.
"I know there's not much anyone can do to help, but seriously, if you guys need anything, let me know. I don't care if it's just needing something from the grocery store, or whatever, if there's anything at all I can do for you guys, I will."
"I know, Sev. We both do, and we appreciate it. Right now all I'm trying to do is keep her mind off of something happening to her, because I know that's all she's thinking about…"
"I can work with that, I'm great at distracting people." He replied, earning a chuckle from Matt. "And plus, Jemma's been working like crazy the last few days with this baby shower. That'll be a fun day for you guys."
"Yeah, it will." Matt spoke. "I need to talk to her, actually. She's called me a few times, but all this stuff with Gabby, I haven't had time to focus on much else."
"Her and I have been talking, with planning and stuff, and I told her Dawson had a hard shift, I'm sure she gets it." Kelly responded, Matt nodding. "But she's really excited for the shower, she's even enlisted the help of Herrmann, Kidd, and Brett. It should be fun."
"It sounds like it. God, I'm so thankful for Jemma." Casey breathed out. "I think the baby shower will be good for Gabby, and she's always happy when she spends time with Jemma, so hopefully the combination of all that will help things."
"She'll be okay, Casey." Severide spoke firmly, gripping his shoulder tightly. "The both of you will be."
Matt nodded, his attention getting pulled away from his friend as he heard the beeping of the rig backing up into the garage, Matt glancing over to see 61 parking in their spot.
Gabby soon appeared after the rig was in place, her expanding body moving slower than normal, Matt watching her with a small smile as she walked with her head down.
"Hey there, beautiful." He called when she got closer, Gabby lifting her head to see Matt sitting at the table, his words and his presence bringing a soft grin to her face.
"Well hello to you, too, handsome." She responded, changing her path from the double doors to Matt.
"Get a room, you two." Severide gagged, Gabby smirking in amusement as she got to the table.
"How'd your drop off go?" Casey asked, pulling out the chair beside him for her to sit in, Gabby obliging.
"It was fine, the guy should be alright." She answered, Matt's hand resting on her waist as she got settled, before he slid it up to her belly, rubbing gently over her shirt. "I'm tired though, little girl is really taking it out of me today."
"You two still haven't chosen a name yet?" Severide interrupted, Matt glancing back towards him, Kelly's eyes flickering back and forth between the expectant parents.
"We've narrowed it down to four, you know that Kel." Gabby spoke lightly, the firefighter huffing out a breath.
"Yes, four names that you refuse to share with me." He replied pointedly towards Matt, the Captain rolling his eyes.
"You're fine, Kelly. You'll find out soon enough. We haven't settled on one yet." Casey said, Kelly narrowing his gaze.
"Alright, well, as her godfather, if I don't like her name, I have the right to give her a cool nickname." He told them, Gabby shooting him an unimpressed look.
"Sev, you're gonna love her no matter what her name is, now be quiet." Gabby chastised, Matt chuckling as he flashed Kelly a smug grin before returning his attention to Gabby and their daughter.
Gabby sat on the table in the exam room, her legs swinging below her as they waited, Matt standing by her side, his hand moving back and forth in random patterns over her stomach.
"Having fun?" She asked with a raised eyebrow as she rested against the back of the table, the reclined position taking the pressure off her back.
"We're playing a game." He replied sheepishly, his smile growing when he pressed gently against her stomach, earning a swift quick from their daughter. As soon as Amanda had left after doing her routine check of Gabby, Matt had focused his attention on Gabby's belly. And when she laid down, with her permission, he had lifted her shirt up to rest under her breasts, giving him access to her stomach, his 'game' with their daughter starting soon after. Every time he felt their girl, his face lit up more than she thought possible, Gabby letting him have his fun. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but she knew how much he loved interacting with their little girl, and, unless it started hurting her, she'd never ask him to stop.
"Yeah? Who's winning?" She questioned, Matt shrugging as his bright eyes glanced to her.
"Well, I'm not really sure so we'll just go ahead and say she is." He spoke, flashing her a soft grin before returning his attention to her belly, poking her stomach again. And, yet again, he got a kick in return, Gabby watching him with an amused look. "She could be a soccer player, she's got quite the leg." He commented, pressing lightly into her bump once more, a proud grin falling onto his face when he got the reaction he was searching for.
"I can tell." She responded, Matt pulling back his hand as he looked towards her.
"Sorry, am I hurting you?"
"No, you're not." She assured him, Matt nodding before returning his attention to her stomach, rubbing gently over her skin as opposed to trying to play with his daughter.
"Sorry kid, we might need to cool it on the game for awhile." He spoke to her stomach, Matt feeling her kick against his hand. "What did I just say?" He asked with a chuckle, Gabby shaking her head. "She's already not listening to me, that's not good. Guess she really does take after her Momma." Matt joked, glancing up to Gabby with a sly smirk on his face, the paramedic rolling her eyes.
"Your Daddy thinks he's so funny." She responded dryly, rubbing over her stomach, Matt's hand moving to rest over hers.
"I'm pretty funny." He spoke with a laugh, leaning down to press a soft, quick kiss to her lips, feeling her smile against him.
They pulled back when they heard the door open, the couple looking over to see Dr. Tanner walk in, a smile forming on her face as she noticed the scene in front of her.
"Well, looks like you two are all ready for the ultrasound." She teased, heat rising to Gabby's cheeks as Matt chuckled.
"He was playing a game." Gabby replied as Dr. Tanner shut the door, a wide grin resting on her face as she walked towards her patient, Gabby beginning to move her shirt back down.
"Oh, just leave it up, we'll need it out of the way." She spoke, Gabby nodding as she moved her hands to rest on her stomach, Dr. Tanner sliding her stool over to sit by Gabby's side, positioning herself for the ultrasound. "We'll go ahead and get this done first." She told them, prepping the machine as Matt moved closer to Gabby's head, shooting her a soft smile. "How have you been feeling, Gabby? Work still been going okay?"
"Work's great, and I've been alright." She responded softly, Dr. Tanner noticing the hesitant tone in her voice.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine… Just with getting closer to the due date, it's kind of been reminding me the reality of everything, and it's been hard." She admitted, Matt squeezing her hand.
Dr. Tanner halted her movements, turning away from the machine to face Gabby, giving her a sympathetic smile. "I know this is scary, Gabby. For the both of you. Nothing about what you're facing is easy, but I'm going to do everything I can to get you and your daughter through this, okay?" Her voice was gentle, yet firm, her soft assurance releasing some of the nerves from Gabby's body, the expectant mother nodding. "Now, speaking of your little girl, you ready to see your baby?" Dr. Tanner asked, hoping that would ease some of her fears, at least for a little while.
Gabby and Matt both nodded excitedly, Dr. Tanner beginning the process of the ultrasound. She started by taking the measurements of their baby, as well as getting some images for them. While there wasn't much change week to week, Dr. Tanner liked being able to give them the photos every time they came here. For as often as her appointments were, it was the least she could do to let them have multiple pictures of their growing baby.
"How is she looking?" Gabby asked, Dr. Tanner grinning as she turned the screen.
"You can see for yourselves. She looks great." She replied, Gabby and Matt smiling from ear to ear as they saw their child. At 30 weeks pregnant, it was definitely easy for them to make out the baby, happy tears filling Gabby's eyes as they took in the sight of her. "And here's her heartbeat, I know how much you both love this part." Dr. Tanner spoke, adjusting the doppler until she was in the right position, the quick, rhythmic thumping filling their ears.
Dr. Tanner gave them a few moments to soak it in, knowing how special this was for them, before she quickly finished up the ultrasound, wiping the gel off Gabby's belly.
"Now, your girl is looking very good. She's still small, but she's within our targets. I think you might just have a little baby on your hands." Dr. Tanner told them, Gabby and Matt both nodding. "But everything with her is looking great, she's a rambunctious little thing, she doesn't like to stay still."
"She definitely doesn't." Gabby agreed, earning laughs from both Dr. Tanner and Matt.
"But it's good that she's moving around a lot. While there's nothing wrong for mothers who have less active babies, more movement is never a bad thing. And I took a look at your aneurysm, everything looks good. It did measure a little bigger today, but only by a few millimeters." She saw the color drain from Casey's face, and the flash of panic in Gabby's. "I don't want you to worry, it's still very small. It's definitely manageable. There's a lot of extra blood flowing through your body because of this baby, it's not uncommon for this to happen. In fact, it's encouraging that we're this far along in your pregnancy and it's only grown a little." She tried to assure them, but she knew her words had freaked them out.
"Okay…" Gabby responded unsurely, moving her shirt down to cover her belly, feeling Matt rub over her arm comfortingly.
"But, considering there has been a change in your aneurysm, I do think it's a good time to start your weekly appointments." Dr. Tanner spoke, Gabby slowly lifting herself up into a sitting position, Matt helping her as he placed his hand on her back, pushing her up. "I know we talked about it during your last appointment, but I think it's time."
"Alright."
"And I do think it's time for us to discuss a pretty big part of this pregnancy, your birth plan." Dr. Tanner started, Gabby and Matt watching her intently. "I'm not entirely sure what you had been thinking, or wanting, but I believe the safest course of action for both you and your baby is to have a c-section." She told them, Gabby nodding slowly. "What I want to do is schedule you for a c-section about a week before your due date, maybe a little before. Obviously, the longer baby is in there, the better. But delivering at 39 weeks is perfectly safe, babies aren't considered premature unless they're delivered before 37 weeks. For your safety, and for the baby, I think we should plan on delivering your baby around a week out."
"Okay." Gabby responded, taking in all the information.
"But, just so we're all on the same page, that could be subject to change. The reason I don't want to wait until you're full term is because of the aneurysm, which I'm sure you figured. But the bigger your girl gets, the more pressure is put on your system, and on your aneurysm, so I think delivering a little earlier is the safest option. We're trying to take all the precautions we can here, and that's what I believe is best for the both of you." She told them, Gabby swallowing thickly. "Does that sound okay with you?"
Gabby slowly nodded, catching Dr. Tanner's gaze. "Truthfully, I hadn't really thought a lot about it, but I guess a c-section does make more sense." She spoke, earning a thoughtful nod from her doctor.
"Yes. It's the safest option for you. Like we've talked about many times, we have to control what we can, and a natural delivery is just too unpredictable in this case. I'd feel much more comfortable with you having a c-section. And, if something does happen to go wrong, we'll be in a better position to get to the problem quicker. It's the best, and really only, course of action for you." Dr. Tanner replied, Gabby giving her an understanding nod.
"I trust you. Whatever you think is best, is what we'll do… I just want her to be safe." Gabby responded, glancing towards Matt.
"We're fine with whatever you want us to do." He agreed, rubbing his hand up and down her back.
"Excellent. I'll go ahead and get you all scheduled for that. Obviously, there's only so much say we have in this process. If you go into active labor before that day, we'll have to perform an emergency c-section. But you all have my numbers, you know how to reach me, and I'll double check with the hospital, make sure it's stated clearly in your chart that I need to be contacted immediately." She told them. "Also, I do want to mention one more thing… I have every intention, as long as your baby cooperates, of delivering the day we schedule for you, but that could change. If something happens and we get you in here, and there's been a drastic change in your aneurysm, we might have to deliver early. I'll do everything I can to at least get you to the 37 week mark, but it's just another thing we'll have to be mindful of." She said, seeing the apprehensive looks on their faces. "I just want you to be aware of it… My biggest concern is getting the both of you through this. I know you want what's best for your child, and so do I, but if I think delivering earlier gives the both of you a better shot, that's what we'll do."
"Okay." Gabby replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Matt leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, feeling her lean her body into him.
"I know this has been a lot, and after the rough time you've had lately, I'm not trying to make things harder. But this is the reality of your situation, and it's important we're all on the same page." Dr. Tanner spoke, her voice firm but kind.
"I know… And I'm okay with what you want to do. It's just hard." She responded, feeling tears begin to fill her eyes, Gabby wiping furiously over her cheeks, embarrassment flooding her body. "I'm sorry." She apologized, her head leaning down.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Dr. Tanner spoke sympathetically, pushing herself back on the stool towards the counter, grabbing a few tissues before moving towards Gabby, handing them to her.
"Thank you." She murmured, Matt rubbing over her back in soothing circles.
"However you're feeling is okay, Gabby. I can assure you, there's nothing wrong with you being scared, or upset. A normal pregnancy is scary regardless, but everything else you're dealing with on top of it, there's nothing wrong with you feeling like this." Dr. Tanner spoke comfortingly, patting her knee. "I know there's a lot of unknowns with this, and I'm sorry I can't give you more concrete answers. But I promise you, I'm going to do everything I can to get you through this. All I want you to focus on is taking care of yourself, and leave the rest up to me, alright?"
Gabby nodded, wiping under her eyes before leaning into Matt's side once more. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close to him as he kissed her head.
"I can give you a minute, if you need it." Dr. Tanner offered, Gabby shaking her head.
"I'm okay." She responded, sniffling slightly, resting her hand over Matt's stomach, his presence providing her with strength and comfort.
Dr. Tanner eyed her for a moment before nodding, placing her tablet down in her lap. "Alright, well there's not much else we need to discuss this time. But I do want to make sure, you're still feeling okay to work?" Dr. Tanner asked, Gabby nodding slowly.
"I am." She replied, leaning out of Matt's hold. "I mean, there are some times where I stay back, it's becoming more frequent, and I don't go out unless I really feel up for it. But I'm taking it easy." Gabby explained, Dr. Tanner nodding.
"Good, that's good. As long as you continue to do that, I think it's fine for you to keep working. We'll probably have to call it quits here soon, but for now I'm okay with it. As long as you're careful."
"I am."
"I keep a pretty close eye on her at the firehouse." Matt spoke up. "And she's been doing really well with not overdoing it, and making sure she's eating and drinking enough."
"Good, that's what I like to hear." Dr. Tanner spoke with a soft smile. "We'll talk about it again next week, but right now you can keep working. Just make sure you take as many breaks as you need. Remember, you're what's most important here, Gabby. You've got to look out for yourself, first and foremost."
"I will." She responded softly, Dr. Tanner nodding before she stood up.
"Alright, well unless you have any questions for me, I'll see you next week."
"I think we're good." Gabby replied, Matt nodding in agreement.
With a few more goodbyes, Gabby and Matt were left alone in the room, the paramedic blowing out a heavy breath as her head rested in her hands. Matt moved around the table to be in front of her, parting her legs slightly to stand in between them, resting his hands on her thighs.
"It's okay, baby." He murmured, giving her legs a gentle squeeze as she leaned forward, her head falling against his chest. He knew better than to ask if she was okay, he already knew the answer to that question, Matt sighing deeply as he placed his head on top of hers. "It's all gonna be okay." He said, wrapping his arms around her back as she curled into his chest, the two needing this moment together, Gabby relishing in the comfort his touch gave her.
So, I hope this chapter made up for how you all were feeling after the last one? I am sorry for that cliffhanger, I know a lot of you weren't happy at all, but I hope you liked how things went for Dawsey. I know you all are very much looking forward to the Dawsey wedding. It's coming, I promise.
Thank you all so much for reading, I'm very excited to hear your thoughts about everything. See you all next time.